The German Classics of the Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries Volume Xii Part 25

SENDEN. He is unbearable! I see that you are as indignant as I am. He s.n.a.t.c.hes away our people; it can no longer be endured.

BOLZ (_who had gone the rounds of table, returning and standing in front of_ MRS. PIEPENBRINK). It really isn't right to let it stop here. Mr. Piepenbrink, head of the house, I appeal to you, I ask your permission--hand or mouth?

ADELAIDE (_horrified, on the right toward the front_). He is actually kissing her!

PIEPENBRINK. Sail in, old man, courage!

MRS. PIEPENBRINK. Piepenbrink, I no longer know you!

ADELAIDE (_at the moment when_ BOLZ _is about to kiss_ MRS.

PIEPENBRINK _crosses the stage, pa.s.sing them casually, as it were, and holds her bouquet between_ BOLZ _and_ MRS. PIEPENBRINK. _In a low tone, quickly to_ BOLZ). You're going too far! You are being watched!

[_Pa.s.ses to the rear on the left, and exit_.]

BOLZ. A fairy interferes!

SENDEN _(who has already been haranguing some of the other guests, including_ BLUMENBERG, _noisily pushes forward at this moment--to those at the table_). He is presumptuous; he has thrust himself in!

PIEPENBRINK (_bringing down his hand on the table and rising_). Oho! I like that! If I kiss my wife or let her be kissed, that is n.o.body's concern whatever! n.o.body's! No man and no woman and no fairy has a right to put a hand before her mouth.

BOLZ. Very true! Splendid! Hear! Hear!

SENDEN. Revered Mr. Piepenbrink, no offense against you! The company is charmed to see you here. Only to Mr. Bolz we will remark that his presence is causing scandal. So completely opposed are his political principles that we must regard his appearing at this fete as an unwarrantable intrusion!

BOLZ. My political principles opposed? In society I know no other political principle than this--to drink with nice people and not to drink with those whom I do not consider nice. With you, Sir, I have not drunk.

PIEPENBRINK _(striking the table_). That was a good one!

SENDEN _(hotly)_. You thrust yourself in here!

BOLZ _(indignantly)_. Thrust myself in?

PIEPENBRINK. Thrust himself in? Old man, you have an entrance ticket, I suppose?

BOLZ _(frankly)_. Here is my ticket! It is not you I am showing it to, but this honorable man from whom you are trying to estrange me by your attack. Kampe, give your ticket to Mr. Piepenbrink. He is the man to judge of all the tickets in the world!

PIEPENBRINK. Here are two tickets just exactly as valid as my own.

Why, you scattered them right and left like sour grape juice. Oho! I see quite well how things stand! I'm not one of your crowd, either, but you want to get me. That's why you came to my house again and again--because you expected to capture me. Because I am a voter, that's why you're after me. But because this honorable man is not a voter he does not count for you at all. We know those smooth tricks!

SENDEN. But, Mr. Piepenbrink!

PIEPENBRINK _(interrupting him, more angrily)_. Is that any reason for insulting a peaceful guest? Is it a reason for closing my wife's mouth? It is an injustice to this man, and he shall stay here as long as I do. And he shall stay here by my side. And whoever attempts to attack him will have to deal with me!

BOLZ. Your fist, good sir! You're a faithful comrade! And so hand-in-hand with you Philip, I defy the Capulet and his entire clan!

PIEPENBRINK. Philip! Right you are, Conrad, my boy! Come here! They shall swell with anger till they burst! Here's to Philip and Conrad!

_[They drink brotherhood.]_

BOLZ. Long live Piepenbrink!

PIEPENBRINK. So, old chum! Shall I tell you what! Since we are having so good a time I think we'll leave all these people to their own devices, and all of you come home with me. I'll brew a punch and we'll sit together as merrily as jackdaws. I'll escort you, Conrad, and the rest of you go ahead.

SENDEN _(and guests)_. But do listen, _revered_ Mr. Piepenbrink!

PIEPENBRINK. I'll listen to nothing. I'm done with you!

_Enter_ BELLMAUS _and other guests_.

BELLMAUS _(hurrying through the crowd_). Here I am!

BOLZ. My nephew! Gracious Madam, I put him under your protection!

Nephew, you escort Madam Piepenbrink. (MRS. PIEPENBRINK _takes a firm grip on_ BELLMAUS'S _arm and holds him securely. Polka behind the scene.)_ Farewell, gentlemen, it's beyond your power to spoil our good humor. There, the music is striking up! We march off in a jolly procession, and again I cry in conclusion, Long live Piepenbrink!

THE DEPARTING ONES. Long live Piepenbrink! _[They march off in triumph_. FRITZ KLEINMICHEL _and his fiancee,_ KaMPE _with_ KLEINMICHEL, MRS. PIEPENBRINK _with_ BELLMAUS, _finally_ BOLZ _with_ PIEPENBRINK.]

_Enter_ COLONEL.

COLONEL. What's going on here?

SENDEN. An outrageous scandal! The _Union_ has kidnapped our two most important voters!

ACT III

SCENE I

_The_ COLONEL'S _Summer Parlor_.

_The_ COLONEL _in front, walking rapidly up and down. In the rear_, ADELAIDE _and_ IDA _arm-in-arm, the latter in great agitation. A short pause. Then enter_ SENDEN.

SENDEN (_hastily calling through centre door_).

All goes well! 37 votes against 29.

COLONEL.

Who has 37 votes?

SENDEN.

Why you, Colonel, of course!

COLONEL.

Of course! (_Exit_ SENDEN.) The election day is unendurable! In no fight in my life did I have this feeling of fear. It is a mean cannon-fever of which any ensign might be ashamed. And it is a long time since I was an ensign!