The German Classics of the Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries Volume Xii Part 23

PIEPENBRINK. They don't know that their own wine, too, is from my cellars. Ha! Ha! Ha!

BOLZ (_turning to him_). Are you laughing at us, Sir?

PIEPENBRINK. Ha! Ha! Ha! No offense. I merely heard you talking about the wine. So you like Piepenbrink's wine better than this here? Ha!

Ha! Ha!

BOLZ (_slightly indignant_). Sir, I must request you to find my expressions less comical. I do not know Mr. Piepenbrink, but I have the pleasure of knowing his wine; and so I repeat the a.s.sertion that Piepenbrink has better wine in his cellar than this here. What do you find to laugh at in that? You do not know Piepenbrink's wines and have no right to judge of them.

PIEPENBRINK. I do not know Piepenbrink's wines, I do not know Philip Piepenbrink either, I never saw his wife--do you hear that, Lottie?--And when his daughter Bertha meets me I ask, "Who is that little black-head?" That is a funny story. Isn't it, Kleinmichel?

KLEINMICHEL. It is very funny! [_Laughs._]

BOLZ (_rising with dignity_). Sir, I am a stranger to you and have never insulted you. You look honorable and I find you in the society of charming ladies. For that reason I cannot imagine that you came here to mock at strangers. As man to man, therefore, I request you to explain why you find my harmless words so astonishing. If you don't like Mr. Piepenbrink why do you visit it on us?

PIEPENBRINK _(rising_). Don't get too excited, Sir. Now, see here! The wine you are now drinking is also from Piepenbrink's cellar, and I myself am the Philip Piepenbrink for whose sake you are pitching into me. Now, do you see why I laugh?

BOLZ. Ah, is that the way things stand? You yourself are Mr.

Piepenbrink? Then I am really glad to make your acquaintance. No offense, honored Sir!

PIEPENBRINK. No, no offense. Everything is all right.

BOLZ. Since you were so kind as to tell us your name, the next thing in order is for you to learn ours. I'm Bolz, Doctor of Philosophy, and my friend here is Mr. Kampe.

PIEPENBRINK. Pleased to meet you.

BOLZ. We are comparative strangers in this company and had withdrawn to this side room as one feels slightly embarra.s.sed among so many new faces. But we should be very sorry if by our presence we in any way disturbed the enjoyment of the ladies and the conversation of so estimable a company. Tell us frankly if we are in the way, and we will find another place.

PIEPENBRINK. You seem to me a jolly fellow and are not in the least in my way, Doctor Bolz--that was the name, was it not?

MRS. PIEPENBRINK. We, too, are strangers here and had only just sat down. Piepenbrink!

[_Nudges him slightly._]

PIEPENBRINK. I tell you what, Doctor, as you are already acquainted with the yellow-seal from my cellar and have pa.s.sed a very sensible verdict upon it, how would it be for you to give it another trial here? Sit down with us if you have nothing better to do, and we will have a good talk together.

BOLZ (_with dignity, as throughout this whole scene, during which both he and KaMPE must not seem to be in any way pushing_). That is a very kind invitation, and we accept it with pleasure. Be good enough, dear Sir, to present us to your company.

PIEPENBRINK. This here is my wife.

BOLZ. Do not be vexed at our breaking in upon you, Madam. We promise to behave ourselves and to be as good company as lies in the power of two shy bachelors.

PIEPENBRINK. Here is my daughter.

BOLZ (_to_ MRS. PIEPENBRINK). One could have known that from the likeness.

PIEPENBRINK. This is my friend, Mr. Kleinmichel, and this, Fritz Kleinmichel, my daughter's fiance.

BOLZ. I congratulate you, gentlemen, on such delightful society. (_To_ PIEPENBRINK.) Permit me to sit next to the lady of the house. Kampe, I thought you would sit next to Mr. Kleinmichel.

[_They sit down_.]

Now we alternate! Waiter!

[_Waiter comes to him_.]

Two bottles of this!

PIEPENBRINK. Hold on! You won't find that wine here. I brought my own kind. You're to drink with me.

BOLZ. But Mr. Piepenbrink----

PIEPENBRINK. No remonstrances! You drink with me. And when I ask any one to drink with me, Sir, I don't mean to sip, as women do, but to drink out and fill up. You must make up your mind to that.

BOLZ. Well, I am content. We as gratefully accept your hospitality as it is heartily offered. But you must then let me have my revenge. Next Sunday you are all to be my guests, will you? Say yes, my kind host!

Punctually at seven, informal supper. I am single, so it will be in a quiet, respectable hotel. Give your consent, my dear Madam. Shake hands on it, Mr. Piepenbrink.--You, too, Mr. Kleinmichel and Mr.

Fritz!

[_Holds out his hand to each of them_.]

PIEPENBRINK. If my wife is satisfied it will suit me all right.

BOLZ. Done! Agreed! And now the first toast. To the good spirit who brought us together today, long may he live!--[_Questioning those about him_.] What's the spirit's name?

FRITZ KLEINMICHEL. Chance.

BOLZ. No, he has a yellow cap.

PIEPENBRINK. Yellow-seal is his name.

BOLZ. Correct! Here's his health! We hope the gentleman may last a long time, as the cat said to the bird when she bit its head off.

KLEINMICHEL. We wish him long life just as we are putting an end to him.

BOLZ. Well said! Long life!

PIEPENBRINK. Long life!

[_They touch gla.s.ses_. PIEPENBRINK _to his wife_.]

It is going to turn out well today, after all.

MRS. PIEPENBRINK. They are very modest nice men.

BOLZ. You can't imagine how glad I am that our good fortune brought us into such pleasant company. For although in there everything is very prettily arranged--

PIEPENBRINK. It really is all very creditable.

BOLZ. Very creditable! But yet this political society is not to my taste.