The Funny Side of Physic Part 40

[Ill.u.s.tration: BOYLSTON STATION.]

"To keep away witches. I sleep here nights," solemnly replies the station-master; and one must be familiar with that ever agreeable face to detect the sly, enjoyable humor with which he is so often led to repeat this a.s.sertion.

In numerous towns within more than half of the states,--I state from personal inquiry,--there are at this day old women, who children, at least, are taught to believe have the power of bewitching! My first fright, when a little boy on my way to school, was from being told that an old woman, whose house we were pa.s.sing, was a witch.

These modern witches may not have arrived at the dignity of floating through the air on a broomstick, or crossing the water in a c.o.c.kle-sh.e.l.l, as they were said to in ancient times; but the belief in their existence at this enlightened period of the world is more disgraceful than in the darker ages, and the frightening of children and the naturally superst.i.tious is far more reprehensible.

There is no such thing as a ghost. There are no witches.

"The Bible teaches that there were witches," has often been wrongly a.s.serted. That "choice young man and goodly," whose abilities his doting parent over-estimated when he sent him out _in search of the three stray a.s.ses_, and whose idleness prompted him to consult the seer Samuel, and by whose indolence and procrastination the a.s.ses got home first, was a very suitable personage to consult a "_woman of a familiar spirit_" (or any other woman, save his own wife), from which arose the great modern misnomer of the "_Witch of Endor_."

"To the Jewish writers, trained to seek counsel only of Jehovah (not even from Christ), the 'Woman of Endor' was a dealer with spirits of evil. With us, who have imbibed truth through a thousand channels made turbid by prejudice and error, she is become a distorted being, allied to the hags of a wild and fatal delusion. We confound her with the (fabled) witches of Macbeth, the victims of Salem, and the modern Moll Pitchers.

"The Woman of Endor! That is a strange perversion of taste that would represent her in hideous aspect. To me she seemeth all that is genial and lovely in womanhood."

"Hearken thou unto the voice of thine handmaid, and let me set a morsel of bread before thee, and eat, that thou mayest have strength when thou goest on thy way."

Then she made and baked the bread, killed and cooked the meat,--all she had in the house,--and Saul did eat, and his servants.

I see nought in this but an exhibition of rare domestic ability and commendable hospitality; in the previous act (revelation), nothing more than a manifestation of the power of mind over mind (possibly the power of G.o.d, manifested through her mind?), wherein she divined the object of Saul's visit, and, through the same channel, surmised who he was that consulted her.

[Ill.u.s.tration: WEIGHING A WITCH BY BIBLE STANDARD.]

Witches are said to be "light weight." But a little above a hundred years ago, a woman was accused in Wingrove, England, by another, of "bewitching her spinning-wheel, so it would turn _neither the one way nor the other_." To this she took oath, and the magistrate, with pomp and dignity, "followed by a great concourse of people, took the woman to the parish church, her husband also being present, and having stripped the accused to her nether garment, put her into the great scales brought for that purpose, with the Bible in the opposite balance, which was the lawful test of a witch, when, to the no small astonishment and mortification of her maligner, she actually outweighed the book, and was honorably acquitted of the charge!"

Just imagine the picture. In an enlightened age, a Christian people, in possession of the Bible, that gives no intimation of such things as witches, stripping and weighing a female in public, to ascertain if she really was heavier than a common Bible!

[Ill.u.s.tration]

XII.

MEDICAL SUPERSt.i.tIONS.

"When cats run home, and light is come, And dew is cold upon the ground, And the far-off stream is dumb, And the whirling sail goes round, And the whirling sail goes round; Alone and warming his five wits The white owl in the belfry sits."--TENNYSON.

OLD AND NEW.--THE SIGN OF JUPITER.--MODERN IDOLATRY.--ORIGIN OF THE DAYS OF THE WEEK.--HOW WE PERPETUATE IDOLATRY.--SINGULAR FACT.--CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES.--"OLD NICK."--RIDICULOUS SUPERSt.i.tIONS.--GOLDEN HERB.--HOUSE CRICKETS.--A STOOL WALKS!--THE BOWING IMAGES AT RHODE ISLAND.--HOUSE SPIDERS.--THE HOUSE CAT.--SUPERSt.i.tIOUS IDOLATRIES.--WONDERFUL KNOWLEDGE.--NAUGHTY BOYS.--ERRORS RESPECTING CATS.--SANITARY QUALITIES.--OWLS.--A SCARED BOY.--HOLY WATER.--UNLUCKY DAYS.--THUNDER AND LIGHTNING.--A KISS.

Medicine, above all the other sciences, was founded upon superst.i.tion.

Medicine, more than all the other arts, has been practised by superst.i.tions. Stretching far back through the vista of time to the remotest antiquity, reaching forward into the more enlightened present, it has partaken of all that was superst.i.tious in barbarism, in heathenism, in mythology, and in religion.

In showing the Alpha I am compelled to reveal the Omega.

Let us begin with Jupiter. I know that some wise aesculapian--no Jupiterite--will turn up his nose at this page, while to-morrow, if he gets a patient, he will demonstrate what I am saying, and further, help to perpetuate the ignorant absurdities which originated with the old mythologists, by placing "[R]"--the ill-drawn sign of Jupiter--before his recipe.

[Ill.u.s.tration: THE G.o.d OF RECIPES.]

De Paris tells us that the physician of the present day continues to prefix to his prescriptions the letter "[R]," which is generally supposed to mean "recipe," but which is, in truth, a relic of the astrological symbol of Jupiter, formerly used as a species of superst.i.tious invocation, or to propitiate the king of the G.o.ds that the compound might act favorably.

There are still in use many other things which present _prima facie_ evidence of having been introduced when the users placed more faith in mythological or planetary influence than in any innate virtue of the article itself. For instance, at a very early period all diseases were regarded as the effects of certain planetary actions; and not only diseases, but our lives, fortunes, conduct, and the various qualities that const.i.tute one's character, were the consequences of certain planetary control under which we existed. Are there not many who now believe this?

"In ancient medicine pharmacy was at one period only the application of the dreams of astrology to the vegetable world. The herb which put an ague or madness to flight did so by reason of a mystic power imparted to it by a particular constellation, the outward signs of which quality were to be found in its color or shape." Red objects had a mysterious influence on inflammatory diseases, and yellow ones on persons discolored by jaundice.

Corals were introduced as a medicine, also to wear about the neck on the same principle.

These notions are not yet obsolete. Certain diseases are still attributed to the action of the moon. Certain yellow herbs are used for the jaundice and other diseases. The _hepatica triloba_ (three-lobed) is recommended for diseases of the lungs as well as liver (as its first name, _hepatica_, indicates), and some other medicines for other complaints, without the least regard to their innate qualities. Corals are still worn for nose-bleed, red articles kept about the bed and apartments of the small-pox patient, and the red flag hung out at the door of the house, though few may know why a _red_ flag is so hung, or that it originated in superst.i.tion.

The announcement of an approaching comet strikes terror to the hearts of thousands; the invalid has the sash raised that he may avoid first seeing the new moon through the gla.s.s, and the traveller is rejoiced to catch his first glimpse of the young queen of the night over his right shoulder, "for there is misfortune in seeing it over the left."

But we are not yet done with ancient symbols.

"The stick came down from heaven," says the Egyptian proverb.

"The physician's cane is a very ancient part of his insignia. It has nearly gone into disuse; but until very recently no doctor of medicine would have presumed to pay a visit, or even be seen in public, without this mystic wand. Long as a footman's stick, smooth, and varnished, with a heavy gold head, or a cross-bar, it was an instrument with which, down to the present century, every prudent aspirant to medical practice was provided. The celebrated gold-headed cane which Radcliffe, Mead, Askew, Pitcairn, and Baillie successively bore, is preserved in the College of Physicians, London. It has a cross-bar, almost like a crook, in place of a k.n.o.b. The k.n.o.b in olden times was hollow, and contained a vinaigrette, which the man of science held to his nose when he approached a sick person, so that its fumes might protect him from the disease."

The cane, doubtless, came from the wand or caduceus of Mercurius, and was a "relic of the conjuring paraphernalia with which the healer, in ignorant and superst.i.tious times, always worked upon the imagination of the credulous." The present barber's pole originated with surgeons. The red stripe represented the arterial blood; the blue, the venous blood; the white, the bandages.

The superst.i.tious ancients showed more wisdom in their selections of names, as well as in emblems, than we do in retaining them. Heathen worship and mythological signs are mixed and interwoven with all our arts, sciences, and literature. Our days of the week were named by the old Saxons, who worshipped idols--the sun, moon, stars, earth, etc., and to their G.o.d's, perpetual honor gave to each day a name from some princ.i.p.al deity. Thus we are idolaters, daily, though unconsciously.

I think not one person in a thousand is aware of this fact; therefore I give a sketch of each.

SUNDAY.

The name of our first day of the week, Sunday, is derived from the Saxon _Sunna-daeg_, which they named for the sun. It was also called _Sun's-daeg_.

[Ill.u.s.tration: SUN--Sunday.]

As the glorious sunlight brought day and warmth, and caused vegetation to spring forth in its season, warmed the blood, and made the heart of man to rejoice, they made that dazzling orb the primary object of their worship.

When its absence brought night and darkness, and the storm-clouds shrouded its face in gloom, or the occasional eclipse suddenly cut off its shining, which they superst.i.tiously attributed to the wrath of their chief deity, it then became the object of their supplication. With them, and all superst.i.tious people, all pa.s.sions, themes, and worships must be embodied--must a.s.sume form and dimensions, and as they could not gaze upon the dazzling sun, they personified it in the figure of a man--as being superior to woman with them--arrayed in a primitive garment, holding in his hand a flaming wheel. One day was specially devoted to sun worship.

The modern Sunday is the day, according to historical accounts of the early Christians, on which Christ rose from the dead. It does not appear to have been the same day as, or to have superseded, the Jewish Sabbath, although the Christians early celebrated the day, devoting it to religious services. With the Christians, labor was suspended on this "first day of the week," and Constantine, about the year 320, established an edict which suspended all labor, except agricultural, and forbade also all court proceedings. In 538 A. D. the third Council of Orleans published a decree forbidding all labor on Sunday.

The Sabbath (Hebrew _Shabbath_) of the Jews, meaning a day of rest, originated as far back as Moses--probably farther. It was merely a day of rest, which was commanded by Jehovah; and if considered only on physiological grounds, it evinces the wisdom and economy of G.o.d in setting apart one day in seven to be observed by man as a season of rest and recuperation. As such it only seems to have been regarded till after the forty years of exile, when it changed to a day of religious rites and ceremonies, which is continued till the present day by "that peculiar people." That particular day, given in the "law of Moses," corresponds--it is believed by the Jews--to our Sat.u.r.day. Christ seemed to teach that the Jewish Sabbath was no more sacred than any other day, and he accused the Pharisees with hypocrisy in their too formal observance thereof. He attended their service on the Sabbath, on the seeming principle that he did other meetings, and as he paid the accustomed tax, because it was best to adapt one's self to the laws and customs of the country.

We do not purpose to enter into any theological discussion as to which of the two days should be observed for rest and religious observances; for who shall decide? Physiologically considered, it makes no difference.

There should be one day set apart for rest in seven at the most, and all men should respect it.

Without a Sabbath (day of rest) we should soon relapse into a state of barbarism, and also wear out before our allotted time. "In the hurry and bustle of every-day life and labor, we allow ourselves too little relaxation, too little scope for moral, social, and religious sentiments; therefore it is well to set apart times and seasons when all cares and labors may be laid aside, and communion held with nature and nature's G.o.d." And it were better if we all could agree upon one day for our Sabbath; and let us call it "Sabbath," and not help to perpetuate any heathen dogmas and worship by calling G.o.d's holy day after the idolatrous customs of the ancient Saxons.

MONDAY.

The second day of the week the Saxons called _Monandaeg_, or Moon's day; hence our Monday.

This day was set apart by that idolatrous people for the worship of their second G.o.d in power. In their business pursuits, as well as devotional exercises, they devoted themselves to the moon worship. The name _Monandaeg_ was written at the top of all communications, and remembrance had to their G.o.d in all transactions of the day. Each _monath_ (new moon or month) religious (?) exercises were celebrated.