The Funny Philosophers Part 53

"Why does your captain carry that hog at his masthead?"

This question was asked by a midshipman who came alongside in a boat and was recognized by Toney and the Professor as a former acquaintance. They and Tom Seddon were seated in the boat and about to go ash.o.r.e.

"Every man has his idiosyncrasies," said the Professor. "Van Tromp sailed through the British Channel with a broom at his masthead; and our captain never enters a harbor without a hog hanging on his foretop-gallant yard."

"Van Tromp's broom was a symbol of victory," said the young officer.

"And our captain's hog is a symbol of good living," said the Professor.

"He wishes to have it known that, while other vessels come into port on short rations, he carries an abundance of grub wherever he goes," said Toney.

"He must be an eccentric old codger," said the middy.

"He is, indeed," said the Professor.

"Here we are," said the middy. And he sprang on sh.o.r.e, followed by his three friends, whose sea-legs were of very little use to them; for they staggered about as if they had freely partic.i.p.ated in the conviviality of the preceding night and still sensibly felt its effects. They managed at length to waddle along with the earth apparently rocking and rolling under their feet, and finally reached Pharoux's Hotel in Palace Square, where comfortable quarters were secured.

On the following morning the Professor, in company with his three friends and M. T. Pate, walked forth into the Square. As they pa.s.sed in front of the Palace, the negro sentinel, with a staid demeanor, was pacing to and fro, while squads of his sable comrades lounged around, like lazy black dogs, basking in the sun.

"Look at that gigantic American standing among the Brazilian soldiers who seem like pigmies by comparison," said the midshipman.

"It is Hercules," said the Professor.

"Or Goliath of Gath," said the midshipman. "Do you know him?"

"He came out in our ship," said Toney.

"If your captain carried many such giants on board, I wonder that he had a spare porker to hang at his masthead."

"Hercules seems to be on terms of intimacy with those _black guards_ of the House of Braganza," said Toney.

"No punning now, if you please; we are on land," said the Professor.

"But on foreign land, where the points of our puns cannot be perceived by the natives," said Toney.

"Your apology is perfectly satisfactory," said the Professor.

"Let us see what Hercules is going to do," said Tom Seddon.

They approached, and stood in close proximity to the tail of his coat.

He had taken a musket from the hands of a grinning Brazilian of African descent, and, pointing to the flint lock, with a sagacious shake of his noddle, informed him that he was far behind the age; at the same time expatiating on the manifest superiority of the percussion principle. To the instruction of this able tactician the soldiers, although unable to comprehend a word of English, seemed to be listening with profound attention, when a loud laugh from Toney and Tom interrupted this morning's first lesson.

In the course of their wandering through the town they came to a navy-yard, where they saw several vessels in an interesting condition of rottenness. While examining these hulks, an astonishing confusion of tongues was heard in their rear; and, turning around, they beheld a fellow as black as Beelzebub, who wore an officer's uniform and was endeavoring to hold a colloquy with M. T. Pate, who listened and replied with an amiable condescension; but, as neither understood a word that was addressed to him, the utterance of each was an enigma to the other.

The Professor winked at Toney, and then gravely remarked, "Mr. Pate, this negro is doubtless begging for a dump,"--a huge copper coin of the value of several cents, which the Brazilians have invented for the convenience of commerce.

Pate, who in his own country was of Southern birth and accustomed to negroes solely in a menial capacity, drew forth a ponderous dump from his pocket, and bestowing it upon the officer of his Imperial Majesty with a benevolent smile, went on his way, leaving the object of his benefaction astounded by this evidence of his generosity.

As they proceeded up a street they encountered a pair of st.u.r.dy Africans carrying a sedan-chair attached to a couple of poles. Its sides were surrounded with gaudy curtains, for the protection of the timid senorita seated within from the bold gaze of the common mult.i.tude. Walking behind it were Botts, Old Grizzly, and the Long Green Boy, who appeared to have attached themselves to the procession as a committee of investigation; while, ranging up alongside, like a vigilant cruiser about to overhaul a suspicious craft in quest of a contraband cargo, was the adventurous Moses in a prodigious state of excitement, staring at the object of his amazement with dilated eyes, in blissful ignorance of his dangerous proximity to a petticoat. But great was his consternation when informed that there was a young lady behind the curtain. He started back with a terrified expression; and the Professor afterwards said that had not his limbs failed him, and his knees come in collision, like bones in the hands of an Ethiopian serenader, they would have been entertained with the sight of a desperate fugitive darting up the street with the caudal appendage to his coat taking a horizontal projection as he hurried along.

Having during the day visited various localities in the city, they returned to the hotel, and on the following morning proceeded on an expedition to the Imperial gardens. They rode in a huge omnibus drawn by four couples of mules, and navigated by four adventurous natives, each seated on the back of one of the animals, with prodigious rowels on his heels, which seemed to indicate a ruthless determination to gore out the vitals of the beast if he showed the least signs of a refractory disposition, and dared to dispute the supremacy of the rider. Under the shade of cocoa- and coffee-trees they rumbled over the road, and at length arrived at the gates of the gardens.

This inclosure, equal in area to a large farm, was cultivated with great care and filled with every variety of flowers and fruitage. At intervals, among the trees, were fanciful little tenements for the accommodation of those whose business it was to plant and to prune.

Tom Seddon became poetic, and declared that they had discovered a paradise in which an Adam and Eve were probably then dwelling in immortal youth and innocence.

After exploring the gardens for several hours, the Professor seated himself in a beautiful arbor, and, while the gorgeous b.u.t.terflies and birds of variegated and magnificent plumage were flitting around him, he sang:

The op'ning rose doth brightly glow With pearly dews of even, Like a fragment fall'n from yonder bow, Which hangeth like Hope in the heaven.

And gayly on a golden wing, At the sweet evening hour, The humming-bird comes like a fairy thing To flit round the beautiful flower.

Oh, be not like that humming-bird Around the sweet rose roving, That is ling'ring there, while e'er is heard The breezes of summer moving,

But when the chilly blast has blown And wint'ry storms are brewing, He flieth away to a milder zone, And leaveth it then to its ruin;

Be like that bird we oft have seen, Whose mellow notes were ringing Among the willows when all was green, And flowers around us were springing.

And when those boughs are all stript bare, By wint'ry storms o'ertaken, That faithful bird is still ling'ring there, Nor hath ever that spot forsaken.

"A song from Mr. Seddon," cried the Professor, as he concluded his own melody. Tom sang as follows:

Though many days have vanished Since last I sighed adieu, Yet time has never banished The love I feel for you: Though many leagues now sever, Yet I forget thee never;-- True love grows the stronger As it endures the longer.

Though absence bringeth sorrow Upon the soul like night, Yet on that night a morrow Shall shed its golden light,-- And hope's lone star shall burn, love, Brightly till I return, love, And in thy smile discover That night's last gloom is over.

"Poor Tom is thinking of Ida," said the Professor, in a whisper to Toney, as Tom turned aside and furtively wiped away a tear that stood in his eye.

"How can he help thinking of her?" said Toney.

"And Rosabel?" said the Professor.

"Do you suppose," said Toney, "that I ever forget her? I am mirthful, for it does not become a true man to be moody and melancholy. But I never forget."

"Nor does it become one of the Funny Philosophers to sport with such feelings," said the Professor, visibly affected. "I do not forget Dora."

"Do you not?"

"No; though she has long since forgotten me," said the Professor, sadly.

"A song from Mr. Perch," exclaimed a voice in the crowd, and in plaintive tones the Long Green Boy gave utterance to the following melody:

Oh, give me now the heart that thou once stole away from me When list'ning to thy treacherous vow beneath the greenwood tree; The flowers then bloomed above the ground, fanned by the breath of spring; The humming-bird was sporting round upon a purple wing.