The Fourth Sunrise Part 15

"*I have fantastic vision. Always have. As you can see right here, I have a picture of you.' I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. I handed her the photo that I had kept for almost thirty years in my wallet.

"*Oh my G.o.d,' she said. *You have the photo with you.' Christine grabbed the photo and stared at it. *This was my favorite photo. It was the only photo not to make it back from Vietnam and it broke my heart because it was the only one I had of it. I like it more than any of my wedding pictures.'

"*I'm sorry. I had to take it. Take solace in knowing I have loved and adored that photo for a very long time. You see what great condition it still is in.'

"*Whatever top secret operation you pulled off to steal that picture from my husband, you could have taken a different one.'

"*That one was my favorite,' I said. *If I was going to risk being court-martialed, I was taking the golden ticket.'

"We both laughed. I continued to look at the picture even though I had the real deal right in front of me. The photo was still as beautiful as ever. And the Christine who was right in front of me was even more beautiful. *You look pretty angelic in this photo. That was why I took it. It's how I remembered you all those years.'

"*I do think it's incredibly sweet you still have it in your wallet after all these years.'

"*Sweet?'

"*Yeah, it's sweet.'

"*Try pathetic.'

"*I like sweetaa lot better. We can't define what we are. We can't deny that there is a supernatural force leading us both back to the small, little town a couple times through the years.'

"*It's amazing to me that I'm here with you once again. Don't get me wrong, there is no place in this world I'd rather be than with you right here right now. I'm just not doing a good job of protecting myself.'

"*Protecting yourself from whom?' Christine asked.

"*From myself,' I answered.

"*How are you not protecting yourself?'

"*From how much I love you.'

"Christine's eyes locked into mine. *I need you, Joel.'

"*You do?'

"*I need you to be with me. I need you to do the things to me that only you can do. I know I'm selfish. I know I have a man who has no idea how to love me in the way I deserve, but he loves me, nonetheless. Right now, today at this point in my journey, I need all of you.'

"*For how long?' I held my breath.

"*I can promise you tonight.'

"My heart sank at hearing those words. What was I thinking? Why was I here? Why did I return to the scene of the crime? Did I dare say the words, I can't do this? It had been another fifteen years and I was in a house alone at night with the woman I had loved all my life. I was getting a third crack at the kind of love I had only imagined that this world had to offer. So, I let those words filter out of my mind. Although it was heavy on my heart to say them, I wasn't a m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t. I needed to indulge in the moment more than I needed to breathe.

"I stared at Christine's face. We had both stopped talking and we just stared at one another. At first, our stares were about observation and intrigue. Then something happened. We both got out of our minds and into our hearts. We both did it simultaneously.

"*I want you, too,' I said.

"*But?'

"*But nothing. I want this more than I have ever wanted anything. I honestly mean that.'

"Christine and I stared calmly and intensely into one another's souls. Then simultaneously, we each had a tear slowly drip from our eyes. Our tears were expressive streams on our solemn faces, faces telling each other that they were loved beyond words.

"Christine took my hand and led me to the master bedroom. *Before you get too weirded out, this is a completely different bed than my parents used to sleep on.' I laughed in the midst one of the most pa.s.sionate moments that I was to embrace.

"We both fell onto the very large bed. We both rolled on top of the comforter and began to kiss each other pa.s.sionately. As I kissed Christine, everything else in the world took a pause. My relief was being there in her presence. I knew in the depths of my soul that she was the only woman for me. Never had I felt more complete than I was in her embrace and her kiss. And kiss we did.

"Christine and I kissed like a couple of teenagers who were discovering each other for the first time. This was only our third time to be together. Each kiss had its own rhythm. Each embrace had its own heart. This was pure ecstasy. This was my heaven and indulge I did.

"We began removing one another's clothes and soon we were both naked lying on top of the covers. I covered her body with mine. It wasn't s.e.xual in nature, but in more of a protective possession. For one moment in time, I wanted to be the one to protect this vessel of a beautiful woman.

"I held her tightly. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, which seemed a little bigger than I remembered, pressed against my chest.

"*This is why...' I whispered into Christine's ear. *This is why I can't let you go. My heart is permanently stacked on top of yours. I gave up a long time ago.'

"*Can I be honest with you, Joel?'

"*Of course you can.'

"*All these years, I have truthfully loved my husband. But, one thing that I have always known is that I have always loved you more.'

"*Have you?' I said, rolling on my back.

"*Of course I have. You couldn't be possibly feel so much sincere surrender of feelings and I couldn't possibly not feel the same way. I have loved you since the moment I met you thirty years ago.'

"Christine then laid her head on my chest and slid her body down and rubbed her hands on the inside of my thigh. It was heaven.

"I looked deeply in her eyes. I paused, and then I said, *You are the only woman I have ever wanted.'

"*Why, Joel?'

"*Because I'm a simple man. I loved you first. I didn't know how to love someone that strongly ever again.'

"*Oh, Joel. You are so precious.' Christine wrapped her arms around me and positioned my body above hers and then took her left hand and gripped me and placed me inside her.

"We made love tenderly for what felt like two hours straight. My heart was overwhelmed by the lovemaking. All I wanted was for the moment to last forever. But sadly, like all of our encounters, time got ahead of us.

"I knew she was meeting her husband in Seattle, Washington, in a matter of hours. I looked at the clock and it read five in the morning. Seven hours to be exact. I knew she would again have to leave soon. These were the terms I had grown accustomed to experiencing.

"I looked outside and could see the first whispers of the sun's rays about to break dawn.

"I looked down at Christine and she was as awake as I was and I was still inside her, slowly making love.

"Christine looked up at me and said. *I love you, Joel.'

"*I love you, too.'

"*I want to do something I have always wanted to do for you.'

"I smiled. *What is that?'

"*I want to make you breakfast.'

"*You do?'

"*I do. I'm pretty good at it.'

"*You are?'

"*I ama so, although I could continue doing what we're doing until I have to leave to get to my plane, I would dearly love to make you breakfast.'

"*Breakfast sounds pretty good.'

"With that, I rolled off of her and reclined next to her on my back.

"*That was amazing, Joel. The single most pleasuring, pa.s.sionate, heartfelt night of my life.'

"*Mine, too. Mine, too.'"

Chapter Twenty-three.

"I went with Christine to the kitchen. She had put on a robe and I put on my pants that I had on the night before.

"Christine told me to go back to bed, and I told her there was no way I could be in the same house and not be with her every waking second. I did allow her to go to the bathroom alone, however. I just needed to be near her. I knew this would soon be over, and I couldn't miss a moment.

"One thing I knew for sure was, this woman was one incredible cook. Holy c.r.a.p! It was the best breakfast I'd ever had. Everything she made, she put her own spin on. She made cheesy eggs with Hollandaise dressing, and onion hash browns with her own mix seasonings. Don't even get me started on the meat. Best bacon, ham and sausage I ever had. She mixed them all with special seasonings. Delicious.

"Without a shadow of a doubt, this is not only the best breakfast I ever had, but this is the tastiest meal I ever had.

"Christine raised her orange juice gla.s.s to me and gave me an endearing wink.

"*When do you have to leave?' I asked.

"*Thirty minutes.'

"*That soon?' I was stunned.

"*Actually, I should have left by now. I'm pushing it, giving myself thirty more minutes.'

"*Stay one more day. Make an excuse,' I said in a last plea of desperation.

"*I can't.'

"*Why not?'

"*Because I made a promise I'd be there. He's having a real big meeting and he needs me to be with him.'

"*I understand. I just can't go seventeen years without seeing you again. Can we try to make this at least a twice a year venture?'

"*I can't, Joel.'

"You can't? Or you don't want to?'

"*Joel, I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone besides a husband. But I also have some semblance of a moral code. I know I am a huge hypocrite but what I feel is the truth. I think marriage is sacred and only because I love you at the magnitude that I do, and only because you love me with the incredible zeal that you do, can find it inside me to break the most sacred of vows that I have ever given. But I couldn't live in that place regularly.'

"*Live in that place? What do you mean?'

"*Meaning, I couldn't be with my husband and have a permanent lover on the side.'

"*So, what I am is convenient. Every fifteen years or so, you find it in you to take a stab at me.'

"*Joel, please. That is not what I meant. Please don't take what I said that way.'

"*How should I take it?'

"*Take it as, you're such an amazing man that a very good woman broke the most sacred of vows just so she can be with you.'

"*What separates your mind from your body?' I asked. *Why can't you see me a couple times a year? I don't think that's too much to ask.'

"*It is too much to ask Joel,' Christine said. Christine paused and then sat next to me and held my hand. *My husband has never done one wrong thing to me. He has never even raised his voice. He is an amazing father and a hard-working provider. The only fault he has is the thing that was given to him by G.o.d himself. It's his personality. He's the dullest man I have ever known. Any resemblance of intrigue was long gone after high school.'

"*He isn't pa.s.sionate, he isn't affectionate, but what he is that he is extremely considerate and he shows how much he loves me by what he does for me. He would walk on broken gla.s.s for me.'

"*So would I,' I said honestly.

"*I know, Joel. But I married him. All I can say is, it's a testament to how powerful our love is as to why I have given myself to you on the two nights I have.'

"*That's not enough,' I said, plainly and simply.

"*It's all I can give. I want to go back to the way we used to do it. I miss going down to the post office in Washington, D.C., and pouring out my heart to you in letters.'

"*I need a little bit more. This is too hard. Just give me a little more. I'll take once a year.'

"*Once a year?'

"*Yeah.'

"Christine looked at me and smiled. *Look, let's do the writing thing and if something organically can come up, then yes. Of course we can see each other.'"

Present a" Delta, Colorado - Coffee Shop, 3:20 a.m.

"Organically?" Sharee asked.