The Four Epochs of Woman's Life Part 4

Immediately after the menstrual flow there is a well-marked v.a.g.i.n.al secretion which is whitish in appearance; it may be transparent or of a milky color, and is sometimes very acrid. This secretion may also precede the flow, and there is nothing abnormal in this. But any discharge occurring between the periods sufficient to stain the clothing-- the so-called whites or leucorrhea-- is abnormal, and is caused by an inflammation of the v.a.g.i.n.a or the neighboring parts. In addition to the discharge there is heat and swelling of the parts, more or less local distress, and generally intense nervousness.

If the disease is not cured, it may become chronic. The pain, heat, and scalding disappear, but a copious discharge continues, and in this stage the disease may be very obstinate and greatly reduces the strength. The constant drain breaks down the system, producing pallor, debility, pain in the back, palpitation, indigestion, and so forth.

The character of the discharge in leucorrhea varies considerably, from a whitish or mucous secretion, to a yellowish or mucopurulent secretion, and is debilitating in proportion as it is profuse. It is to be remembered that this is not in itself a disease, but indicates a disease of some of the pelvic organs; and that all such inflammations left to themselves incline to grow worse.

A severe leucorrhea is generally attended with frequent and finally painful micturition; pain in walking in the lower part of the abdomen, which may become so severe as to compel the patient to go to bed.

Pruritus v.u.l.v.a.-- This is an intense and persistent itching of the v.u.l.v.a, and is a symptom rather than a disease. It is not an infrequent result of leucorrhea, the acrid discharge of the latter leading to an irritation of the parts; this causes rubbing of the parts until a veritable inflammation is produced.

Other causes of pruritus v.u.l.v.ae are: The local congestion, such as occurs at the menstrual period, or in certain cases of pelvic inflammations, or in early pregnancy; constipation; sedentary habits; congestion of the liver; incontinence of urine, and diabetes. When dependent on the latter, the malady is most obstinate in yielding to treatment. Indigestible foods or drinks, the rubbing of the clothes, the friction of walking, and the heat of the bed act as exciting causes in those predisposed to it.

The essential treatment here is to at once ascertain and remove the cause; aids in the treatment are v.a.g.i.n.al douches and cooling lotions.

CHAPTER VI.

THE MARRIAGE QUESTION.

Herbert Spencer's Definition of Love; What Const.i.tutes a Suitable Husband; Best Age for Marriage; Shall Cousins Marry? Contraindications to Marriage; Do Reformed Profligates Make Good Husbands? the Proper Length of Time for the Engagement; the Right Time of the Year to Marry; the Selection of the Wedding Day.

"Well, Brutus, thou art n.o.ble; yet, I see, Thy honourable mettle may be wrought From that it is disposed: Therefore, 'tis meet That n.o.ble minds keep ever with their likes.

For who so firm that cannot be seduced?"

-- "Julius Caesar."

Herbert Spencer's Definition of Love.-- "Love is habitually spoken of as though it were a simple feeling, whereas it is the most compound, and therefore the most powerful, of all the feelings. Added to the purely physical elements of it, are first to be noticed those highly complex impressions produced by physical beauty; around which are aggregated a variety of pleasurable ideas, not themselves amatory, but which have an organized relation to the amatory feelings. With this there is united the complex sentiment we term affection-- a sentiment which, as it can exist between those of the same s.e.x, must be regarded as an independent sentiment, but one which is here greatly exalted.

Then there is the sentiment of admiration, respect, reverence, in itself one of considerable power, and which in this relation becomes in a high degree active. There comes next the feeling called the love of approbation. To be preferred above all the world, and that by the one admired above all others, is to have the love of approbation gratified in a degree pa.s.sing every other experience, especially as there is added that indirect gratification of it which results from the preference being witnessed by others. Further, the allied emotion of self-esteem comes into play. To have succeeded in gaining such attachment from and sway over another is a proof of power which cannot fail to agreeably excite amour propre. Yet again, the proprietary feeling has its share in the general activity. There is the pleasure of possession, the two belonging to each other. Once more, the relation allows of an extended liberty of action. Toward each other a strained behavior is requisite. Around each there is a suitable boundary that may not be crossed; an individuality on which none may trespa.s.s. But in this case the barriers are thrown down, and the love of unrestrained activity is gratified. Finally, there is an exaltation of sympathies, egotistic pleasures of all kinds are doubled by another's sympathetic partic.i.p.ation, and the pleasures of another are added to the egotistic pleasures. Thus around the physical feeling forming the nucleus of the whole, are gathered the feelings produced by personal beauty that const.i.tutes simple attachments, of self-esteem, of property, of love of freedom, of sympathy. These, all greatly exalted and severally tending to reflect their excitements on one another, unite to form the mental state we call love. And as each of them is comprehensive of multidinous states of consciousness, we may say that this pa.s.sion fans into immense aggregate most of the elementary excitations of which we are capable; and that hence results its irresistible power."

What Const.i.tutes a Suitable Husband.-- It is desirable that the husband shall be a few years older than the wife. Man is later in coming to maturity, and also retains his s.e.xual powers considerably longer than woman; so that for these functions to cease about the same time, the wife must be younger than the husband. A difference of from two to five years is best; if the parties are young, it is not essential that the husband should be much the wife's senior, as it is later in life. The husband may be ten years older, but a greater disparity of age than this is rarely compatible with congeniality of tastes and dispositions, so essential to a happy married life. The woman who risks her happiness with a man many years younger than herself violates a precept of nature.

The average stature of the man is about three inches greater than that of the woman, and in the physiologic marriage any great deviation from this should be avoided.

The essentials for a happy marriage may be summed up as follows: that the parties shall be of suitable age; that they shall be physically well mated and in full sympathy with each other's views of life, of the same social position, and of equal education.

The Best Age for Marriage.-- The reproductive life begins with p.u.b.erty, but maturity is not reached before the age of twenty-one. It is only then that the standard of development is reached that is most compatible with the successful bearing of the grave responsibilities of wifehood and motherhood. The too early exercise of the reproductive functions leads to increased suffering on the part of the mother, depresses her vitality, and increases her liability to disease.

Statistics show that the mortality is very much greater where girls marry under twenty years of age.

The offspring are apt to be small and ill developed, and die in large numbers in early life; only a small percentage live long and robust lives. In France it has been observed that where the fear of conscription has caused many young people to marry the offspring were lacking in vigor. Among the offspring of immature parents there is a larger proportion of idiots, cripples, criminals, scrofulous, insane, and tubercular than among the children of nubile parents.

In our climate women are best fitted to become wives and mothers between the ages of twenty-four and twenty-eight years. Before this age neither their self-knowledge, their knowledge of the world, nor their experience is sufficiently mature to fit them to wisely make the choice of a companion for life, or to become mothers. After forty, most women cannot hope for children. Men had better wait until between the ages of twenty-seven and thirty years, before they undertake the responsibilities of parenthood.

Shall Cousins Marry?-- They might if both families were perfectly healthy; but as few families are without some lurking predisposition to disease, it is not well, as a rule, to run the risk of developing this by too repeated unions.

Contraindications to Marriage.-- Young women in whose family there is a distinct history of such hereditary diseases as cancer, tuberculosis, or insanity for two generations back, should not marry at all. Not only is this a fearful legacy to hand down to their children, but pregnancy and child-bearing very decidedly favor the development of these diseases.

Syphilis in either s.e.x is a distinct bar to marriage; first, the party married is sure to contract the disease, even though it may have been supposed to have been cured. Fortunately, the children of such marriages are generally still-born; still, they do sometimes live, and are most pitiable and sickly objects. For any one to marry under these conditions is a crime against society, against the State, and against posterity.

Women who have serious forms of heart disease, tuberculosis, or Bright's disease would, by becoming pregnant, run a serious risk of losing their lives toward the close of the pregnancy or at the time of their confinement. In case of heart disease, the pulmonary congestion that accompanies pregnancy, together with the encroachment of the pregnant uterus on the cavity of the chest, would greatly add to the embarra.s.sment of the heart's action.

In normal pregnancy there is some congestion of the kidneys; where there is actual disease of the kidneys prior to the pregnancy, this congestion is apt to become so severe as to threaten the woman's life.

These organic diseases are not to be confounded with functional diseases which are dependent on some other cause; as palpitation of the heart due to indigestion, or heart murmurs dependent on the thin state of the blood, or congestion of the kidneys due to exposure to cold;-- all of which may be cured by proper treatment.

Should a woman with a fibroid tumor marry, she would run a great risk to her life; she should have the tumor removed, or, if this is not possible, she should give up all thoughts of marriage, since the increased irritation and congestion consequent upon the marital relations would tend to favor its growth. Should pregnancy ensue, delivery might be attended with serious complications, as very difficult labor, postpartum hemorrhage, or, as these tumors have but little vitality, and the pressure to which they are subjected during labor is liable to cause their death, disorganization, sloughing, and, as a result, puerperal septicemia.

Sometimes there is such a lack of development of the genital organs as to prevent the woman from having children.

Two persons with even a slight tendency to the same disease, either inherited or acquired, should not intermarry, even if they are in comparatively good health at the time. Their offspring would be quite sure to inherit their diseased tendencies.

Persons whose const.i.tutions have been somewhat injured, but who are not tainted with actual disease, may rear children much healthier than themselves, provided their own lives are wisely regulated. If they are growing better all the time, and are not too much broken in const.i.tution, it may be safe for them to marry.

Among the Jews the physician is frequently consulted before matrimonial alliances are contracted. This custom could not but be of universal benefit; many local or general diseases would be eradicated before marriage, and in this way much suffering and unhappiness would be spared; or, in other cases, the patient would be advised of the inadvisability of marriage.

Do Reformed Profligates Make Good Husbands?-- The manner of life that has been led by this cla.s.s of men is such as to undermine their health, if not to have rendered them physical wrecks. There is the overindulgence in alcoholic beverages, and perhaps, added to this, some drug habit. In addition to this, these men early in their career are apt to become infected with some of the venereal diseases, or perhaps with all of them-- gonorrhea, syphilis, and so forth; and these diseases have the horrible characteristics of becoming latent. A man who contracts this kind of a disease can never be really sure that he is cured. All venereal diseases are highly contagious.

It is now a well-established fact that gonnorrheal infection is not only one of the most common causes of pelvic inflammations in women, but that these same inflammations are of the most virulent types, unless they are recognized and treated in the early stages. It is also a well-known fact that a large percentage of married women suffer from this disease. Sterility almost always results.

In the case of a syphilitic parent, one or two children may be born, but the offspring is generally sickly and diseased. Inebriety as well as s.e.xual excesses are both well recognized as distinct forms of disease accompanied by degeneracy of brain tissue. It is nothing less than criminal for such men to have children, since these children would at least inherit the tendency to the same diseases, if they did not actually have them; there is also a strong probability of such children being born idiots or imbeciles.

It is therefore self-evident that, instead of a reformed profligate making a good husband, he must make a very diseased one. It has therefore been suggested that the parents of the prospective bride should demand from the intended groom a certificate of freedom from all venereal diseases by a physician of their own selection. Also that there should be legislation upon the subject, and that before a man is granted a license of marriage, he should have a certificate from the health officer of freedom from syphilis, gonorrhea, and tuberculosis.

The Proper Length of Time for the Engagement.-- A period not shorter than three months, nor longer than one year, should elapse between the engagement and the marriage.

There are strong physiologic reasons against long engagements: they keep the affections and the pa.s.sions in an excited and unnatural condition, which after a time tends to weaken the nervous system and undermine the health. These evil consequences are common to both s.e.xes. It is far better that the subject of marriage should not be entertained at all unless the circ.u.mstances are such that the union might with propriety be effected at once.

The Right Time of the Year to Marry.-- When woman marries she enters upon a new life, and a very trying one. Extreme heat and extreme cold are both very taxing to the human economy. Midsummer and midwinter are therefore both objectionable, but especially the former.

The Selection of the Wedding-day.-- This is by common consent left to the bride. She should select a time about ten or fifteen days after the end of one of her menstrual periods, as this is the time of comparative sterility, and it is most desirable that the first s.e.xual relations should be fruitless.

PART II.-- MARRIAGE.

CHAPTER VII.

THE ETHICS OF MARRIED LIFE.

The Wedding Journey; the Ethics of Married Life; Shall Husband and Wife Occupy the Same Bed? the Comsummation of Marriage; the Marital Relation; Times when Marital Relations Should be Suspended.

"If it is possible to perfect mankind, the means of doing so will be found in the medical sciences."-- DESCARTES.

The Wedding-journey.-- The wedding-journey, which was formerly the cause of so much discomfort to both husband and wife, has fortunately gone out of vogue; and in its place has come the retirement to a quiet country or seaside spot, away from the prying eyes of friends. Thus the nervous strain incident to sight-seeing and travel is avoided.

The Ethics of Married Life.-- It has been said that G.o.d set men and women in pairs in order that they might perfect each other and complete each other's happiness. The secret of all true happiness in life lies in the spirit of altruism; one must be able to wholly forget herself and to find her happiness in the welfare of others.

The woman who exhausts herself physically and financially on the preparation of her trousseau and her wedding does her husband a wrong by bringing him a wife who is on the verge of nervous prostration.

The secret of a happy married life depends to no small extent on the very beginning: the relation is so entirely new, and much lies hidden in the character of each that was never suspected by the other.

Between husband and wife there must always be mutual concessions, forbearance, and sympathy; a mutual helpfulness to attain all that is best. This, of course, implies that the life of each is an open book for the other to read; that there is an unreserved exchange of thought; and that no privilege is claimed by the one that would not willingly be accorded to the other.