The Foolish Dictionary Part 12

=HEAVE= To raise.

=HEAVEN= A good place to be raised to.

=HEDGE= A fence.

=HEDGEHOG= One who hogs the fences. A Bill-Poster.

=h.e.l.l= Poverty.

=HEREDITY= The cause of all our faults. From Fr. _here_, wretch, and Eng. _ditty_, song. The song of the wretched.

=HEROISM=

[Ill.u.s.tration]

A transferable ticket to the Haul of Fame. Once held by Hobson and Dewey, now carried by Mother Eddy and Brother Dowie.

=HIP= A popular location for the retail liquor business.

=HISTORY= The evil that men do.

=HIT= A chance for first place, first base or first blood.

=HOCK= v. t. To "soak" what we least need. In Germany, they generally "Hock the Kaiser."

=h.o.m.oEOPATHY= See Allopathy.

=HOOT MON=! The Scottish National Hymn.

=HOP= To skip.

=HOPPER= A skipper.

=HOPE= A desire for better things to come that makes a gra.s.s widow willing to try it again. Also, a draft on futurity, sometimes honored, but generally extended.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

=HORN= A sharp point.

=HORNET= Still sharper.

=HORSE-SENSE= A degree of wisdom that keeps one from betting on the races.

=HOSE= Man's excuse for wetting the walk.

=HOSIERY= Woman's excuse for walking in the wet.

=HOTEL= A place where a guest often gives up good dollars for poor quarters.

=HOUSECLEANING= A domestic upheaval that makes it easy for the government to enlist all the soldiers it needs.

=HUG= A roundabout way of expressing affection.

=HUMOR= An outbreak, either of skin or brains frequently branded as Rash.

=HUNGER= Ability to eat in a Night Lunch Cart.