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Sarah followed them inside. "What's for lunch?" she asked timidly. But the women were too engrossed to pay her any attention.
"But Tama never learned," continued Mrs. Rexford. "Time would pa.s.s, then she'd do something else just as thoughtless. That That was the problem." was the problem."
Mrs. Kobayashi nodded regretfully. They fanned themselves in silence.
Little Tama had grown up largely unaffected by family tensions. She had both of her natural parents and she knew nothing about her half sister's adoption, at least until she was older. In truth she was a little self-centered. Mrs. Kobayashi, typical of postwar mothers, had raised her with unusual leniency, as if to atone for those hardships that had forced her older children into premature adulthood. Or maybe the girl was just born that way; someone had once remarked that she was, after all, Kenji Kobayashi's daughter.
"But she was always a good girl at heart," said Mrs. Rexford, "never sneaky or mean-spirited like Teinosuke. When I think of her following me around, wanting my approval no matter how much I scolded her..." She stopped, overcome with emotion.
"There, there," soothed Mrs. Kobayashi. She reached over with the uchiwa uchiwa and gently fanned her daughter's face. "Forget all that. You're both grown women, and this is your chance to develop a true womanly friendship. and gently fanned her daughter's face. "Forget all that. You're both grown women, and this is your chance to develop a true womanly friendship. Ne? Ne?"
Mrs. Rexford nodded.
"I know how much you wanted that with Masako," said Mrs. Kobayashi.
Mrs. Rexford nodded again. It was a source of sorrow that Mrs. Nishimura, whom she romantically regarded as her "true" sister, never dropped her outside face in her presence-or in the presence of anyone else. "It's so hard to talk talk to her," Mrs. Rexford had lamented. "She won't even gossip." to her," Mrs. Rexford had lamented. "She won't even gossip."
"At least with Tama," said Mrs. Kobayashi, "you have a chance."
Real family, all staying in the same house! Even after her experience with the Asaki household, Sarah had romantic notions about large families. She liked the companionable lulls: she and her cousins often sat on the garden veranda, watching Mr. Kobayashi as he chain-smoked and stared off into s.p.a.ce and sketched in hurried spurts. With the women's occasional laughter in the background, the girls sat contentedly within the aromatic haze of his cigarette smoke, sucking on popsicles from the snack shop. Being on the periphery of adult focus was a new experience for Sarah. She liked it. It felt like a sign of tacit approval.
Neighbors, too, were family. There was always someone nearby to whom she could bow a greeting: housewives in the narrow lane, buying greens from the vendor's cart; an old man wearing geta and watering the shrubs outside his slatted wooden gate. Even strangers, pa.s.sing through on their way to somewhere else, seemed to know who Sarah was. Early on she had made the mistake of bowing to random people in the open-air market, a.s.suming everyone knew her family. "Who were you bowing to just now?" her mother or grandmother would ask, puzzled.
Best of all were the t.i.tles of familiarity. Friends of the family, shop clerks, even strangers who happened to drop handkerchiefs in the street were addressed as Auntie, or Big Brother, or Granny. To Sarah's satisfaction, Momoko and Yashiko addressed her as Big Sister.
"Don't you miss living here?" she once asked her mother. "Don't you ever wish you'd married someone from j.a.pan?"
"No," said Mrs. Rexford. "And if I had, you wouldn't be here right now."
"Yes, I would! And I'd be completely j.a.panese, instead of just half."
It wasn't that Sarah had anything against Fielder's b.u.t.te. She liked its austere beauty: miles of empty fields that, in summer, gave off an aroma like bran m.u.f.fins; giant oak trees left over from Indian days; an industrial-sized sky of flat blue, blank except for the freewheeling hawk or the white trail of a plane. But thinking of it now gave her a forlorn feeling.
This, here, was the center of the world. The landscape confirmed it: hills of bright green rising up all around them, a lovely distraction to her unaccustomed eye. Sometimes in the evening, when she and her elders strolled home from the bathhouse in the gentle gray light of the narrow lanes, she looked up at the hills glowing in the last pink wash of sunset. In that light they loomed so close, so clear, she could make out individual trees packed tightly together like broccoli florets. "In ancient days," her mother explained, "those hills kept our city safe from invading warrior clans. That's why it was the perfect location for the royal court." As they headed home, Sarah felt those hills shielding them from the huge sky that, in Fielder's b.u.t.te, made the sunsets so lonely and stark.
chapter 17.
Tama Izumi was the most beautiful of the three sisters. She had full, perfectly formed lips like the Egyptian queen Nefert.i.ti. She exuded a womanly coquetry that Sarah, despite her own lack of experience, instantly recognized as being attractive to the opposite s.e.x. But unlike some beautiful women, Mrs. Izumi extended her good-natured flirtation to women and children alike, as if inviting everyone to share in her feminine appeal. Izumi was the most beautiful of the three sisters. She had full, perfectly formed lips like the Egyptian queen Nefert.i.ti. She exuded a womanly coquetry that Sarah, despite her own lack of experience, instantly recognized as being attractive to the opposite s.e.x. But unlike some beautiful women, Mrs. Izumi extended her good-natured flirtation to women and children alike, as if inviting everyone to share in her feminine appeal.
"Oh, Sarah-chan, you've turned out so pretty pretty!" she said, and the girl fell in love with her all over again.
The women followed Mrs. Izumi into the parlor and kept her company while she unpacked her suitcases. This took a long time, for she kept stopping to chat.
"It seems like yesterday that your mother brought you home from the hospital, in a little bundle," Mrs. Izumi told Sarah.
"Remember that time you babysat," Mrs. Rexford said, "and you fed her mandarin oranges? I was so mad when I found those seeds in her diaper."
"But, Big Sister, she wanted some!" Mrs. Izumi protested, laughing. "I swear! She threw a tantrum every time I stopped!"
Little Jun trotted into the room and stood over the open suitcase. He was an active four-year-old whose small brown legs, clad in little boys' short pants, were constantly on the move. His mother drew out a stack of tiny shirts and placed them in an open bureau drawer. "Those are mine," he told the women.
"Jun-chan, what a nice baseball cap you've got!" said Mrs. Rexford. It was navy blue with a yellow tiger's head on it, for Han-shin Tigers. Mr. Kobayashi had given it to him when he arrived. "You're one of the menfolk now," he had told the boy, reaching down to tweak his visor. Over the next few days the boy would insist on wearing this cap everywhere, even to the bathhouse.
"I'm one of the menfolk," Jun now told them.
"You certainly are!" said his grandmother. "It's a lucky thing you're here to protect us!"
Mrs. Rexford and Mrs. Izumi were reminiscing about friends of their youth. Bored, the little boy wandered away to the other end of the house.
"Mother," said Mrs. Izumi, "whatever happened to Big Sister's old boyfriend? The one who was studying Middle Eastern history?"
"Sekizaki-kun," supplied Mrs. Rexford.
"Soh, Sekizaki-kun! I hear he goes around consulting for the big petroleum companies now," said Mrs. Kobayashi. "Who could have guessed, back then, what would happen with Arab oil?" She turned to Sarah. "He was an odd one," she explained. "For whatever reason, he was fascinated with that part of the world. Think: all that work to get into Kyoto University, then he defied his poor parents and studied the most impractical subject ever." Sekizaki-kun! I hear he goes around consulting for the big petroleum companies now," said Mrs. Kobayashi. "Who could have guessed, back then, what would happen with Arab oil?" She turned to Sarah. "He was an odd one," she explained. "For whatever reason, he was fascinated with that part of the world. Think: all that work to get into Kyoto University, then he defied his poor parents and studied the most impractical subject ever."
"He had bite, that one," said Mrs. Rexford.
"What's bite?" asked Sarah.
"It's a certain bravery," said her grandmother, "an originality of intellect. Your mother's boyfriends, they all had bite. Some of them are important men now."
"No fair, Big Sister!" cried Mrs. Izumi in mock distress. "How come none of my my boyfriends went on to careers of intellect?" boyfriends went on to careers of intellect?"
They all giggled.
"That's because you dated bon-bons," her sister said. Bon-bons were handsome, dashing boys from wealthy families who focused on sports cars and skiing trips instead of their studies.
Mrs. Izumi responded with a sour look, and they all laughed again.
Mrs. Izumi had met her husband in college. He was good looking and extremely polite; Sarah considered him romantic. His father was chief of neurosurgery at Osaka Munic.i.p.al Hospital, but Mr. Izumi himself worked as an office manager. "Our Jun's going to be a doctor. He's going to take after his granddaddy," Mrs. Izumi told the women.
Right now Mr. Izumi was in the family room, watching baseball. Mr. Kobayashi had joined him there, abandoning his work in order to play host. The men seemed slightly off-kilter, like caged animals waiting for their next meal. But they shared a certain solidarity, perhaps because they had been bon-bons in their youth. Little Jun, torn between his desire for male companionship and his attraction to the merrier women with their direct access to food, wandered back and forth between the two camps.
"What's in this bag here?" asked Mrs. Rexford. She peeked inside. "What are all these books and magazines? Watchtower? Watchtower? What's that, Jehovah's Witness? Tama, are you into Christianity now?" What's that, Jehovah's Witness? Tama, are you into Christianity now?"
Her stepsister nodded sheepishly.
Tama Izumi's personality had always tended toward the dramatic. Several years ago she had discovered Confucianism, and she had announced this conversion by sending the Rexfords a hardbound religious text written in the original Chinese, which no one could possibly have known how to read. Before that, it had been some fundamentalist sect of Buddhism, and Sarah had received a child's comic book depicting in lurid, colorful detail all the intricate levels of h.e.l.l.
"Hmm," said Mrs. Rexford, losing interest.
"Auntie, what was it like growing up with Mama?" Sarah asked.
"Well," said Mrs. Izumi, "everyone admired your mother very much. But"-she made a little pout with her lovely lips-"she could be very mean mean to her little sister!" to her little sister!"
"That's because you were a pest," replied Mrs. Rexford with an affectionate bluntness she would never have used with Mrs. Nishimura. "You were always bothering me and stealing my things."
Mrs. Izumi pretended not to hear. "Sarah-chan," she continued, "are you aware that your grandmother used to make me tiptoe past your mother's room while she was studying for exams? And then Big Sister would complain I was breathing too loud, and I'd I'd get scolded!" She was so droll, so childishly indignant, that everyone burst into infectious laughter. get scolded!" She was so droll, so childishly indignant, that everyone burst into infectious laughter.
As an only child, Sarah found this fascinating and vaguely unsettling. Sibling rivalry was perfectly normal, she knew. But after so many weeks of heightened tact, it was odd to hear her grandmother's favoritism acknowledged so blatantly. Perhaps over the years, other family tensions had drained her grandmother and mother of sensitivity toward the baby of the family. After all, Tama was the lucky one. She had grown up with her real mother and father, she had been spared the war years, and she was clearly vocal enough to stand up for herself.
"Did you notice," whispered Mrs. Rexford later that day in the kitchen, "how she steered completely clear of the altar?"
Mrs. Kobayashi reached into the icebox for a package of yakisoba noodles. "Well, you know," she said. "Our tablets are barbaric idols, according to the Bible."
Mrs. Rexford snorted with impatience.
Mrs. Kobayashi sighed. "I wouldn't mind so much if it was a quiet, dignified sort of religion," she said. "But those people insist on going around and ringing strangers' doorbells, like peddlers from the deep country."
"I know. We have Jehovah's Witnesses in America too."
This was why the Izumis were visiting now in the beginning of July, instead of waiting until the midmonth O-bon holiday when families traditionally came together. Their new religion forbade the celebration of holidays: not just Buddhist holidays like O-bon, but also Christian holidays such as Christmas and-even worse in Sarah's opinion-neutral holidays such as children's birthdays.
"I don't understand," Mrs. Rexford said, "why she can't spend two minutes two minutes making a gesture of respect to her forebears." No one in the house, with the possible exception of Mrs. Kobayashi, was religious in a theological sense. Praying at the altar was routine, like eating rice or bowing h.e.l.lo. making a gesture of respect to her forebears." No one in the house, with the possible exception of Mrs. Kobayashi, was religious in a theological sense. Praying at the altar was routine, like eating rice or bowing h.e.l.lo.
Mrs. Kobayashi dropped a handful of onions into the sizzling oil, and its aroma drifted up into the dining room. Sarah, setting the low table, sniffed appreciatively.
Mrs. Rexford popped her head around the shoji screen. "Where is is everybody?" she asked the girl. everybody?" she asked the girl.
"They're all out in the garden."
Her mother's head withdrew.
Eventually Sarah heard her saying, "When you die, Mother, and your tablet goes on those shelves, what does she plan to do then?"
"It'll blow over before that. Don't worry so much. Just enjoy being sisters."
Mrs. Rexford said nothing.
chapter 18.
Sarah woke in the dark. Beside her, lying on sun-aired futons, her mother and her aunt were whispering. woke in the dark. Beside her, lying on sun-aired futons, her mother and her aunt were whispering.
She couldn't quite follow what they were saying. She was groggy and the vocabulary was difficult. They seemed to be discussing philosophy.
She lay still, letting their voices drift through her mind. What time was it? The long drapes were shut, but above them a narrow rectangular window stretched from wall to wall. Through its wooden slats, the night sky glowed an eerie Prussian blue. The trees in the garden cast strange shadows on the walls.
She still had moments of dissonance when she felt like a Westerner. She was aware of the house's smell: an exotic combination of wood, tatami straw, prayer incense, rice. Sometimes when she brushed her teeth she noticed, wafting in through the open window, some baffling night scent she could only a.s.sociate with melons.
"...and his heart is so vast," Mrs. Izumi was saying, "he feels identical love for each one of his children. Robber or saint, it makes no difference-we are all the same in his eyes."
"It seems kind of impersonal," Mrs. Rexford said, "to measure out the exact same love for everybody, like sugar in a rationing line."
But it might be preferable, Sarah thought, to knowing that someone else was getting more than you.
"But that's what makes it a miracle." Mrs. Izumi seemed anxious to make her sister understand. "It's exact and fair like a science, but it's also extremely personal at the same time."
Mrs. Izumi had a new Tokyo accent, not just because she lived in Tokyo but because she had purposely cultivated standardized speech. She used phrases like "namely" or "the truth of the matter." Sarah knew this annoyed her mother, who scorned verbal posturing and took great pride in her Kyoto accent.
"...so you can see its significance," her aunt continued. She had been talking for what felt like a long time. Sarah wanted to change position on the futon, but she was afraid to move. She had never heard this tone in her aunt's voice before. The playfulness was gone; she was making a self-conscious effort to converse on the same level as her sister. Perhaps Mrs. Rexford sensed this too, for she murmured, "Nnn hnn," "Nnn hnn," without any more commentary or dissent. without any more commentary or dissent.
It had never occurred to Sarah that grown people would want to change their ident.i.ties. She'd thought ident.i.ty was like height: it resolved itself by the early twenties, one accepted it and moved on.
In that moment, her longtime crush on her aunt Tama began to fade. It was a surprise, like ice cracking. She saw ahead to a time when her crush would be a faint, poignant memory, and she felt a pang of sorrow.
Outdoors, someone clapped two heavy wood blocks together. There was a long pause. Then the kon...kon... kon...kon... sound came again, closer and more piercing, leaving a high-pitched ringing in the ears. Heavy footsteps sounded in the lane, striding hurriedly over the gravel. sound came again, closer and more piercing, leaving a high-pitched ringing in the ears. Heavy footsteps sounded in the lane, striding hurriedly over the gravel.
Mrs. Izumi paused in her monologue. "Hi-no-yojin duty," she murmured, suddenly sounding soft and wistful. This was the traditional neighborhood reminder to make sure all fires were extinguished before going to bed. Centuries ago, their ancestors had listened to this same sound as they rested their heads on wooden pillows. duty," she murmured, suddenly sounding soft and wistful. This was the traditional neighborhood reminder to make sure all fires were extinguished before going to bed. Centuries ago, their ancestors had listened to this same sound as they rested their heads on wooden pillows.
"Nnn," murmured Mrs. Rexford. She yawned. "They're late tonight." So it was only ten or eleven o'clock, not the early hours of morning as Sarah had thought. murmured Mrs. Rexford. She yawned. "They're late tonight." So it was only ten or eleven o'clock, not the early hours of morning as Sarah had thought.
"Remember," said Mrs. Izumi, "when we used to go with Papa, and he'd let us clap the blocks?" A hint of Kyoto dialect had crept into her voice, giving it a singsong quality. For the first time since her arrival, she actually sounded like someone's little sister. For a surprising instant Sarah was transported back to a time before her own birth, to some long-lost ordinary night when these two sisters must have lain in bed as children. Then, as quickly as it had come, the moment vanished.
"Soh ne...," agreed Mrs. Rexford, echoing her sister's nostalgia. "Tama-chan, can you believe how fast the time went?" agreed Mrs. Rexford, echoing her sister's nostalgia. "Tama-chan, can you believe how fast the time went?"
"I know, Big Sister...so fast..."
The footsteps faded, and the intermittent claps grew fainter. In their wake, night settled with finality over the houses.
Then Mrs. Rexford said, "It was interesting, what we talked about. I'll definitely think it over." Her voice held the same gentleness Sarah remembered from the lunch with her uncle Teinosuke. For a moment, the girl wondered if her mother was actually thinking of converting.
"I'll show you my books tomorrow," said Mrs. Izumi. Those brief moments of shared nostalgia must have eased something in her mind, for she didn't follow it up with any more big words. They lay silent as if in a spell, listening to the last faint echoes of the wooden blocks.
chapter 19.