The Fatal Revenant Part 9

Nonetheless her Staff was a tool of Earthpower, as Berek's had been, and she had fashioned it in love and yearning to sustain the beauty of the Land. Somehow it would aid her to discover the truth, to rescue her son, and to oppose the Despiser.

With the Staff resting against her exhausted heart, she hardly noticed as she drifted into sleep.

When the sound of knocking at her door awakened her, she sat up suddenly, startled. She could not guess how much time had pa.s.sed, could scarcely believe that she had fallen asleep. Momentarily befuddled, she thought, Shock. Nervous prostration. The prolonged difficulties of the day had drained her- Almost at once, however, she remembered her friends. Surging out of bed, she hurried to the door.

Until she saw Stave standing there, with Mahrtiir and Liand behind him, and Pahni, Bhapa, and Anele as well, she did not realize that she had feared some other arrival: a new summons from Covenant and Jeremiah, perhaps; or one of the Masters come to inform her that the Demondim had begun their attack.

Awkwardly, as if she suspected that they might vanish into one of her uninterpretable dreams, she urged her companions to enter. Then she scanned the hall for some sign of the Humbled; for any indication of trouble. But the pa.s.sageway outside her door was empty. The smooth stone walls held no hint of distress.

Breathing deeply to clear the alarm from her lungs, she closed the door, latched it, and turned to face the concern of her friends.

She was glad to see that they emanated health and vigor, in spite of their concerned expressions. The diminishment of Kevin's Dirt had been replaced by a vitality so acute that it seemed to cast a palpable penumbra around all of them except Anele and Stave himself. Now she knew what the former Master and Mahrtiir had discerned in her when she had returned from Glimmermere. The eldritch strength of the waters had washed away their bruises and their weariness and perhaps even their doubts. And she perceived with relief that the lake's effects would last longer than the relatively evanescent restoration which she had performed with her Staff earlier in the day. Kevin's Dirt would not soon regain its power over them.

For Liand even more than for the Ramen, the experience of Glimmermere must have been like receiving an inheritance; a birthright which should have belonged to him throughout his life, but which had been cruelly denied.

By comparison, Stave's impa.s.sivity resembled a glower. Anele murmured incomprehensibly to himself, apparently lost in his private dissociation: the effect of standing on wrought stone. Yet his blind eyes seemed to regard Linden as though even in his madness he could not fail to recognize the significance of what had happened to her.

In simple relief, Linden would have liked to spend a little time enjoying the presence of her friends. She could have offered them food and drink and warmth, asked them questions; distracted herself from her personal turmoil. But they were clearly alarmed on her behalf. Although the Ramen said nothing, Pahni's open worry emphasized Mahrtiir's fierce anger, and Bhapa frowned anxiously.

Liand was less reticent. "Linden," he breathed softly, fearfully. "Heaven and Earth! What has befallen you? If the Masters plunged a blade into your heart, I would not think to see you so wounded."

Involuntarily Linden ducked her head as if she were ashamed. His immediate sympathy threatened to release tears which she could not afford. Already the consequences of her encounter with Covenant and Jeremiah resembled the leading edge of the fury which had flailed her after the horserite. If that storm broke now, she would be unable to speak. She would only sob.

"Please don't," she replied, pleading. "Don't look so worried. I understand. If I were you, I would probably do the same. But it doesn't help."

Stave folded his arms over his chest as if to close his heart. "Then inform us, Chosen. What form of aid do you require? Your anguish is plain. We who have determined to stand at your side cannot witness your plight and remain unmoved."

In response, Linden jerked up her head, taken aback by a sudden rush of insight. Perhaps unwittingly, Stave reminded her that behind their stoicism the Haruchai were an intensely pa.s.sionate people.

The bond joining man to woman is a fire in us, and deep, Brinn had told her long ago. The Bloodguard had broken their Vow of service to the Lords, he had explained, not merely because they had proven themselves unworthy, but more because they had abandoned their wives in the name of a chosen fidelity which they had failed to sustain. The sacrifices that they had made for their Vow had become too great to be endured.

For the same reason, thousands of years later, Brinn and Cail had withdrawn their service to Thomas Covenant. In their eyes, their seduction by the Dancers of the Sea-their vulnerability to such desires-had demonstrated their unworth. Our folly must end now, ere greater promises than ours become false in consequence.

-and remain unmoved. Shaken by memory and understanding, Linden realized abruptly that Stave had made a similar choice when he had declared himself her friend. He had recanted his devotion to the chosen service of the Masters.

Liand had glimpsed the truth when he had suggested that the Masters feared grief. As a race, Stave and his kinsmen had already known too much of it.

Mourning for the former Master, Linden felt her own sorrow recede. It did not lose its force: perhaps it would not. Nevertheless it seemed to become less immediate. Stave's words and losses had cleared a s.p.a.ce in which she could control her tears, and think, and care about her friends.

"You're already helping," she told Stave as firmly as she could. "You're here. That's what I need most right now."

There would be more, but for the moment she had been given enough.

When the Haruchai nodded, accepting her reply, she turned to Manethrall Mahrtiir and his Cords.

"I know that being surrounded by stone like this is hard for you," she began. A faint quaver betrayed her fragility. However, she anch.o.r.ed herself on Mahrtiir's combative glare; clung to the insight which Stave had provided for her.

As she did so, she discovered that she could see more in the auras of the Ramen-and of Liand as well-than magically renewed vitality and protective concern. Beneath the surface, their emotions were complicated by hints of a subtler unease. Something had happened to trouble them since she had parted from Mahrtiir.

"But we have a lot to talk about," she continued. "When we're done, I won't ask you to stay. We'll get together again in the morning."

Bhapa inclined his head as though he were content with whatever she chose to say. But Pahni still stared at Linden with shadows of alarm in her dark eyes. She rested one of her hands on Liand's shoulder as if she had come to rely on his support-or as if she feared for him as well as for Linden. And Mahrtiir remained as watchful as a raptor, searching Linden as though he expected her to name her enemies; his prey.

The Manethrall's manner suggested unforeseen events. Yet his reaction to them tasted of an eagerness which his companions did not share.

His manner strengthened Linden's ability to hold back the effects of her confrontation with Covenant and Jeremiah.

Finally she shifted her gaze to Liand's, addressing him last because his uncomplicated concern and affection touched her pain directly.

"Liand, please don't ask me any questions." He also seemed privately uneasy, although he conveyed none of the Manethrall's eagerness-and little of Pahni's fear. "I'll tell you everything that happened. I'll tell you what I plan to do about it. But it will be easier for me if I can just talk. Questions make it harder for me to hold myself together."

Liand mustered a crooked smile. "As you wish. I am able to hold my peace, as you have seen. Yet allow me to say," he added with a touch of rueful humor. "that since my departure from Mithil Stonedown, no experience of peril and power, no discovery or exigency, has been as unexpected to me as this, that I must so often remain silent."

d.a.m.n it, Linden thought as her eyes misted, he's doing it again. The unaffected gallantry of his attempt to jest undermined her self-control. Striving to master her tears again, she turned her back and pretended to busy herself at the hearth; prodded the logs with the toe of her boot although they plainly did not require her attention.

Over her shoulder, she said thickly, "Sit down, please. Have something to eat. It's been a long day. I want to tell you about Covenant and Jeremiah, and that's going to be hard for me. But there's no hurry." If the Demondim did not strike unexpectedly, she intended to wait until the next morning to confront the horde. "We can afford a little time."

She meant to speak first. Surely then she would be able to put her pain behind her and listen more clearly to the tales of her friends? But she had one question which could not wait.

With her nerves as much as her ears, she heard her friends shift their feet, glance uncertainly at each other, then begin to comply with her request. Stave remained standing by the door, his arms folded like bars across his stained tunic. But Liand and Pahni urged Anele into a chair and seated themselves beside him. At once, the old man reached for the tray of food and began to eat. At the same time, Bhapa and Mahrtiir also sat down. The older Cord did so with deliberate composure. In contrast, Mahrtiir was tangibly reluctant: he appeared to desire some more active outlet for his emotions.

While her companions settled themselves, poured water or springwine into flagons, took a little food, Linden gathered her resolve. Facing the wall beside the hearth, nearly resting her forehead on the blunt stone, she said uncomfortably, "There's something that I have to know. And I need the truth. Please don't hold anything back.

"It's about the caesures. About what you felt going through them. I've already asked Liand about the first one." In the cave of Waynhim, he had told her only that he had felt pain beyond description; that he would have broken if the black lore of the ur-viles had not preserved him. Is there anything else that any of you can tell me? I mean about being in that specific Fall?"

A moment of fretted silence seemed to press against her back. Then the Manethrall replied stiffly, "Ringthane, the pain was too great to permit clear perception. Within the caesure was unspeakable cold, a terrible whiteness, agony that resembled being flayed, and fathomless despair. As the Stonedownor has said, we were warded by the theurgy of the ur-viles. But the Ranyhyn also played a part in our endurance. That they did not lose their way in time diminished a measure of our suffering."

Linden heard the faint rustle of bodies as her friends looked at each other and nodded. With her health-sense, she recognized that Liand, Pahni, and Bhapa agreed with Mahrtiir's a.s.sessment.

"What about you, Stave'?" she asked. He had emerged from the Fall apparently unscathed. "What was it like for you?"

The Haruchai did not hesitate. "As the Manethrall has said, both the ur-viles and the Ranyhyn served us well. We rode upon a landscape of the purest freezing while our flesh was a.s.sailed as though by the na-Mhoram's Grim. Also there stood a woman among rocks, lashing out in anguish with wild magic. Toward her I was drawn to be consumed. However, turiya Herem held her. He is known to me, for no Haruchai has forgotten the touch of any Raver. Therefore I remained apart from her, seeking to refuse the doom which befell Korik, Sill, and Doar."

Remained apart-Linden thought wanly. d.a.m.n, he was strong. From birth, he had communicated mind to mind; and yet he had retained more of himself in the Fall than anyone except Anele. Even she, with the strength of the ur-viles in her veins, had been swept into Joan's madness.

Stave's severance from his people must have hurt him more than Linden could imagine.

But she could not afford to dwell on the prices that her friends paid to stand at her side: not now, under these circ.u.mstances. She had her own costs to bear.

All right," she said after a moment of silence. "That was the first one. What about the second'?" The caesure which she had created, bringing herself and her companions back to their proper time-and displacing the Demondim. "It must have been different. I need to know how it was different."

Mahrtiir spoke first. For the Ramen, the distinction was both subtle and profound. Again we were a.s.sailed by a white and frozen agony which we were unable to withstand. The ur-viles no longer warded us. We lack the strength of the Haruchai. And we did not bear the Staff of Law on your behalf." Liand had served Linden in that way, freeing her to concentrate on wild magic. "Yet the certainty of the Ranyhyn seemed greater, and their a.s.surance somewhat diminished our torment. This, we deem, was made possible by the movement of time within the caesure, for we did not seek to oppose the current of the whirlwind."

Linden nodded to herself. Yes, that made sense. Days ago, she had chosen to believe that the temporal tornado of any Fall would tend to spin out of the past toward the future. Mahrtiir confirmed what she had felt herself during her pa.s.sage from the foothills of the Southron Range three thousand years ago to the bare ground before the gates of Revelstone.

Cautiously, approaching by increments the question which Covenant had advised her to ask, she said. "What about you, Stave? Can you offer anything more?"

The former Master did not respond immediately. Behind his apparent dispa.s.sion, he may have been weighing risks, striving to gauge the effect that his answer might have on her. When he spoke, however, his tone revealed none of his calculations.

"To that which the Manethrall and I have described, I will add one observation. Within the second Fall, the woman possessed by despair and madness was absent. Rather I beheld you mounted upon Hyn. Within you blazed such wild magic that it was fearsome to witness. As in the first pa.s.sage, I was drawn toward the mind of the wielder. But again I remained apart."

So. Twice Stave had preserved his separate integrity. Like the Ramen, he could not tell Linden what she needed to know.

-ask that callow puppy Liand did not deserve Covenant's scorn.

She continued to face the wall as though she wished to m.u.f.fle her voice; conceal her heart. "And you, Liand? You were carrying the Staff. That must have made a difference."

By its very nature, the Staff may have imposed a small pocket of Law on the swirling chaos of the caesure.

"Linden-" the young man began. But then he faltered. His reluctance sc.r.a.ped along the nerves of her back and scalp, the skin of her neck. But percipience alone could not tell her why he was loath to speak, or what he might reveal.

"Please," she said softly, almost whispering. "I need to know."

She felt him gather himself-and felt the Ramen regard him with a kind of apprehension. Stave gazed steadily at the Stonedownor. Only Anele continued to eat and drink as though he were oblivious to his companions.

"Then I must relate," Liand answered unsteadily, "that within the caesure I rode Rhohm upon an endless plain of the most bitter emptiness and cold. About me, I felt a swarm of stinging hornets, each striving to pierce and devour me, though they were not visible to my sight. And at the same time-" Again he faltered. But the underlying bedrock of his dignity and courage supported him. "At the same time," he repeated more firmly. "it appeared to me that I was contained within you-that I sat upon Hyn rather than Rhohm, and that from my heart arose a conflagration such as I have never known. There none of my desires or deeds was my own. In some form, I had ceased to exist, for my thoughts were your thoughts, my pain was yours, and no aspect of Liand son of Fostil remained to me."

Before Linden could press him, he added, "You need not name your query. You wish to hear what it is that I beheld within you.

"Our conjoining was severed when we emerged from the Fall, and I became myself again. Yet while we were one, I partic.i.p.ated in your love for your son, and for Thomas Covenant. I was filled with your fear and pain, your extremity and desperation. I shared your resolve, which is greater than valor or might." Liand did not hesitate now, or hold back. "And I saw that you have it within you to perform horrors. You have known the blackest cruelty and despair, and are able to inflict your full dismay upon any who may oppose you.

"This is the knowledge that you seek," he concluded. "is it not?"

Facing the unwritten stone, Linden groaned to herself: she may have groaned aloud. Was Covenant Jeremiah's puppet? Were they both puppets? Or did the fault lie in her? Liand, she believed, had answered those questions. In Covenant's name, she had prevailed against moksha Jehannum and the Sunbane; but Liand seemed to say that she had never truly healed the capacity for evil which Lord Foul's servants had exposed in her. Her inability to understand or trust Covenant and Jeremiah now was her failure, not theirs.

Softly, speaking more to the wall than to Liand, she breathed, "And yet you're still my friend."

"How could I be otherwise?" returned the Stonedownor. "It is possible that your loves will bind your heart to destruction, as the Mandoubt has warned. It may be that you will repeatedly seek to accomplish good through evil means, as you have done before. But I am myself now, and I am not afraid. I no longer retain all that I have known of you. Yet I have known your loves, and in their name, I am proud to be both your companion and your friend."

Helplessly Linden sagged forward, bracing her forehead against the cool stone. A cloudburst of weeping advanced on her across the convoluted terrain of her confusion; and she could not bear it. Covenant had as much as said that he did not trust her-and Liand had told her that the Unbeliever had good reason for his caution-and yet she heard nothing in Liand's tone except unalloyed candor. He was proud- She might not have been able to fend off her grief; but abruptly Anele spoke. "Anele has been made free of them," the old man announced with unmistakable satisfaction. "And"-he turned his head from side to side in a way that suggested surprise-"the dark things, the creatures lost and harsh, demanding remembrance-Anele no longer fears them. He has been spared much."

The unexpected sound of his voice helped her to step back once more from her clamoring emotions.

He sat on wrought stone, with his bare feet on the polished granite of the floor. As a result, he was in one of the more coherent phases of his madness. He may have understood more than he appeared to grasp. Indeed, he may have been trying in his distorted fashion to rea.s.sure Linden.

To some extent, at least, he had already demonstrated the truth of his a.s.sertion that he was the Land's last hope. He had made possible the recovery of the Staff.

"For my part," Mahrtiir put in while Linden mastered herself, "I aver that there is no surprise in the knowledge which the Stonedownor has gleaned."

The Manethrall's voice was gruff with unaccustomed tenderness. "Breathes there a being in the Land, or upon the wide Earth, who does not nurture some measure of darkness? Surely Esmer would not be drawn to you as he is, did he not behold in you an aspect of his own torment. And has it not been repeated endlessly of the white gold wielder that he will save or d.a.m.n the Land? That which Liand has witnessed in you alters nothing."

Bracing herself on the strength of her friends, Linden set aside her bewilderment and loss; her self-doubt. She could not forget such things. They would affect all of her choices and actions. But the faith of her friends restored her ability to contain herself; to say what needed to be said.

When she had wiped her face once more with the sleeve of her shirt, she turned back toward Stave, Liand, Anele, and the Ramen.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "All of you. The things that I have to tell you are hard for me." And she still needed to hear what had happened to her companions while she had been with Covenant and Jeremiah. "But I think I can do it now"-she attempted a smile-"without being too messy about it.

Summoning her frayed courage, she pulled a chair close to the table so that she would be able to reach the tray of food. When she had seated herself, poured a flagon of springwine, and taken a few swallows, she met the expectant stares of her friends and began.

She said nothing about Esmer: she trusted that Mahrtiir had told the tale of Esmer's recent appearance. Embarra.s.sed on Covenant's behalf, she made no mention of his drinking. And she glossed over his apparently aimless comments about Berek Halfhand and Kevin Landwaster. In retrospect, Covenant's description of Kevin seemed whetted with foreboding. With so much peril crowding around her and her companions, Linden heard prophecy in Kevin's plight. He wanted to be punished-But on that subject, she swallowed her fears.

Everything else, however, she conveyed with as much clarity as she could command: Covenant's strangeness, and Jeremiah's; the self absorbed and stilted relationship between them; the discrepancy between them and her memories of them; the oblique inadequacy and occasional scorn of their answers. Hugging the Staff to her chest, she admitted that Covenant had asked for his ring-and that she had not complied. With difficulty, she acknowledged that the blame for her reluctance and distress might lie in her. And she finished by telling her friends that Covenant had asked her for something in return. A little bit of trust.

Then I won't have to explain what I'm going to do. I can show you.

"There's only one other thing that I can tell you," she concluded thinly. "They don't love me anymore. They've changed too much. That part of them is gone."

Finally a wash of la.s.situde seemed to carry away her last strength. The effort of holding her emotions at bay had wearied her; and she found that she needed the sustenance of aliantha in springwine-and needed as well at least a modic.u.m of numbness. When she had emptied half of her flagon, she took a little fruit and chewed it listlessly. As she did so, she kept her head down, avoiding the uncertainty and trepidation of her friends.

For a long moment, they faced her in silence. They had stopped eating: they seemed almost to have stopped breathing. Then Liand asked cautiously, "If the Unbeliever seeks your aid in his intent, will you give it?'

Linden jerked up her head. She had not considered the possibility-But of course Liand's question made sense. Why else had Covenant come here, bringing Jeremiah with him? Certainly he wanted his ring. However, he was prepared for the chance-the likelihood?-that she would refuse: he had said so. Then why had he asked for a show of trust? I know another way to make this mess turn out right. He and Jeremiah could have simply dismissed her and put his other plans into effect-unless those plans required her partic.i.p.ation.

Meet us up on the plateau tomorrow.

"I have to," she answered slowly. "I already know that I won't like what they want me to do. But if I don't cooperate, I'll never learn the truth. About either of them."

In fact, she could not imagine refusing them. They wanted her aid in some way. They had reason to be afraid of her. And they would not let her touch them.

The truth had become as vital to her as her son's life.

Liand nodded. Although he frowned darkly, he accepted her reasoning.

After another moment, Stave unfolded his arms if he were readying himself for combat. "You have informed the ur-Lord that you intend to make use of the Staff. What will you attempt'?"

Linden pressed her cheek against the comforting strictures of the Staff. "I'll tell you," she promised. "Before you go," before she was left alone with her mourning, "we'll make our own plans.

But this whole day"-she grimaced- "has taken a lot out of me. I need a little time."

Across the table, she faced Liand and the Ramen. "And you have something to tell me. I can feel it. Something happened to you-something more than Glimmermere. If you're willing to talk about it, I want to hear what it was."

At once, as if she had prodded a forgotten worry, Mahrtiir, Bhapa, Pahni, and Liand became restless. Anele appeared unaware that Linden had spoken, and Stave betrayed no reaction. But hesitation clouded the eyes of the others. None of them looked at her directly. Liand studied his hands, Bhapa frowned at the hearth as though the flames puzzled him, and Pahni focused her attention anxiously on Liand. Only Mahrtiir conveyed a sense of antic.i.p.ation; but he closed his eyes and scowled fiercely, apparently attempting to conceal what he felt.

Then, however, the Manethrall opened his eyes to meet Linden's gaze. "We scruple to reply," he said roughly. "because we have no wish to augment the burdens which you must bear. Yet I deem it false friendship to withhold what has transpired. Therefore I will answer.

"When I parted from you, some time pa.s.sed while I gathered together the Cords, the Stonedownor, and Anele so that I might guide them to Glimmermere. Together we traversed the impending stone until at last we regained the open sky of the plateau.

"There we beheld rainfall upon the mountains, and a storm gathering. But we have no fear of the world's weather. Rather we rejoiced that we were freed from stone and constraint. And we had grown eager for the sight of Glimmermere. Therefore we made haste among the hills, that we might gain the eldritch tarn swiftly.

As we did so, Anele appeared to accompany us willingly"-Liand and Pahni nodded in confirmation-"though you had informed us that he would eschew the waters. He spoke constantly to himself as we hastened-" For a moment, Mahrtiir dropped his gaze as if he felt a touch of chagrin. It may be that we should have attended to his words. You have informed us that his madness is altered by that which lies beneath his feet. Some insight might have been gleaned from him." Then the Manethrall looked at Linden again. "But we have grown accustomed to his muttering, which is largely incomprehensible to us. And our eagerness distracted us. We were grateful only that he kept pace without urging."

Linden stared at him. The gra.s.s. d.a.m.n it, she thought, the gra.s.s. The region above Revelstone was not as lush as the Verge of Wandering, but its emerald and fertile greensward resembled the tall gra.s.s of that valley. And she had given not one moment's consideration to how walking across the upland might affect the old man. She had been so shaken by her meeting with Esmer-and so apprehensive about talking to Covenant and Jeremiah- "I made the same mistake," she admitted to a.s.suage her own chagrin. "We've all had a lot on our minds. Please go on."

"Nonetheless," Mahrtiir a.s.serted severely, "the old man was altered. Failing to observe him clearly, we failed both him and you.

"I will not prolong my preamble. Together we gained the sh.o.r.es of the tarn. There we cast no reflection upon the waters, although Anele's image was plainly visible. True to your word, he would not partake of Glimmermere's benison. When we drank, however-when we had bathed and been transformed-"

Abruptly the Manethrall stopped, caught by a resurgence of his earlier reluctance.