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Regaining my Memories and Getting a Servant
It happened when I used magic for the first time. In that moment when I invoked the magic power, a light appeared in my head. Although it wasn’t very clear, I began to recall my memories as a different person: j.a.pan, high school student, traffic accident. Words that do not exist in this world slowly surfaced in my mind.
I had been a normal girl born into a typical j.a.panese family. My parents were kind, and I was an only child. Although I never managed to find a boyfriend during my years there, I had been blessed with plenty of friends so I lived an easy life.
All that ended, however, with my tragic demise. One morning when I was running extremely late, I rounded a corner and instead of knocking into my fated someone, I met with a motorbike. I would have liked to complain that he was driving much too fast for this narrow of a street, but I was no longer able to speak and quickly lost consciousness. I died at only 17. I had been in the spring of my youth, for Pete’s sake!
Thinking back on it, I have nothing but regrets. I had only been a high school student at the time, so I neither had the chance master the art of talking to boys, nor did I fulfill my duty as a daughter to stay with my parents.
…..Well, at this point, it’s too late to be thinking about what I should have done…. it’s not like I perfectly remember everything anyway. Since my memories are so fragmented, all of this feels like someone else’s problem.
I am now Cecile Alldington, 7 years old, and I have just challenged myself to use magic for the first time. I had only been trying to use a simple magic that would change the color of a flower, but for some reason that light appeared and I regained my memories… I guess this means I might have been reincarnated?
As a j.a.panese high school girl, I had a bit of an addiction…. If I have to say it…. I was addicted to Otome Games….
To be more specific, I was absurdly infatuated with the Yandere characters in Otome Games. While in 3D, Yandere is a term that can only bring trouble and the people labelled as such are all dangerous criminals, in the 2D form…. Oh my…. those hunks set my soul ablaze. I felt like I was dying every time I played ❤
And, as if I wasn’t already addicted enough, I managed to find something that was practically made for me. Of course, it was another Otome Game. Following the Yandere boom, they started selling a game set in a crazy world where literally all of the Capture Targets were Yandere…. and I became utterly obsessed with it. It was called, “b.l.o.o.d.y Mind.” When I was playing it, I didn’t really think much of it, but that really is some t.i.tle. It invokes the feeling of a bloodstained lunatic or someone desperately struggling against their murderous thoughts.
The setting is in another world, and it’s made so that as you play through each character’s route, they all go somewhat insane. Each route has the the possibility of a ‘normal end,’ ‘happy end,’ and ‘bad end’ but one of the annoying features is that even in the ‘happy end’ someone dies.
Don’t be surprised! But this world I reincarnated into seems to be a lot like that of the Otome Game’s. I know because as I was recalling my memories, I saw all the important characters playing out various scenes in my head. Of course, that isn’t the only reason I think so. Actually, it was my name that gave me the idea. Cecile Alldington. Without a doubt, that is the name of the heroine’s rival character. And as confirmation, all I had to do was look in the mirror and see the young Cecile Alldington’s features from the game reflected back at me: a stubborn looking young lady with eyes that slant upward and long brown hair that falls in loose waves. That pretty much settles it, right?
“Cecile? What’s wrong? You seem absentminded.” asked Mother. She is on bed-rest right now due to her weak const.i.tution. When I just started giggling strangely in reply, she reaches out to stroke my head. She is Cecile Alldington’s mother, my mother, though she is one of the people that did not appear in the game.
Oh, that’s right. I had been trying to cheer her up by using magic to change the color of a flower.
“You did so well! The flower changed from white to such a pretty amber.” Mother smiled and said when she received the flower. She is such a frail beauty. Since I look more like my father with a angular, fox-like face, I really admire Mother’s delicate features.
“Mother, please get better soon. I feel so lonely when your are feeling bad.”
“Thank you, my kind Cecile.”
I leave Mother’s room and return to my own, and then I take in a big breath.
Now then, I need to sort out this whole situation.
I am Cecile Alldington. I’m a n.o.ble, Viscount Alldington’s only daughter. If this really is the world of the game that I remembered about, then once I turn 15, I will likely have to enter an academy to study magic. The Cecile in the game is in the same year as the heroine at the academy, and acts as the domineering and self-centered rival character. That means I will be fated to meet the heroine there as well. And at this point, I suddenly realized it…. Cecile Alldington bullies the heroine as the game progresses and therefore has a very good chance of being killed by a handsome Yandere.
“This is no joke….”
Are you seriously kidding me? I become young once again just to be killed off? Just 10 more years! I refuse to die that early. In this life, I want to live long enough to go senile!
Hold on a sec…. oh yeah! As long as I don’t have any contact with the heroine or the other main characters, I should be fine….
But wait…. Dang, that won’t be possible.
There are a total of six capturable characters:
First is Gray. He is the student council president and one year older than the heroine. He’s the gentlemanly prince type of character who always took number one in the online popularity polls and is featured in the middle of the game’s packaging. You can think of him as the main love interest. In his route’s ‘bad end’ he ends up imprisoning the heroine.
The second person is Lufrey. He’s in the same year as the heroine and is a Kuudere1. Oddly enough, when players would succeed in getting the ‘happy end’ for his route, they would be disappointed. Most of them seemed to prefer the ‘bad end’ where he became jealously controlling. He basically takes full control of all of the main character’s human interactions. In response, the heroine starts thinking that he can’t live without her, and completely falls to the dark side.
Alec is the third Capture Target. He’s in the same year as Gray and is also the student council vice president. As “the natural airhead” he is the s.p.a.cey one who tends to zone out a lot. Fans of his route tend to be women with a strong motherly instinct. That being the case, as the route progresses, he develops the desire to monopolize the heroine. At that time, if he sees her talking to other people, he ends up resorting to violence.
Ludolf,2 the fourth person, is the heroine’s young homeroom teacher. Although he seems like the serious type, when he and the heroine are alone together, he starts acting like a spoiled child. When you progress through his route, he shows her more and more of his weaknesses thereby opening the heroine’s heart. As this continues though, he goes a little crazy. He starts wanting to make her his, and only his, so he spreads rumors full of half-truths in order to isolate her, basically forcing her to be completely reliant on him. This ‘bad end’ was also preferred by quite a few players.
Honestly, if the danger stopped here, then everything would be fine.
With just these four, as long as I don’t bully the heroine, I’m basically “out of consideration.”3 Of course, if I did bully her, that would be an instant death, but as long as I’m careful, I’ll be fine.
The problem is the last two.
To start with, “b.l.o.o.d.y Mind” had one hidden character, but I died before I found him. I know absolutely nothing about him. That’s beyond scary.
The other one is possibly an even more important character. His name is Athley and he is a year younger than the heroine. He has a complex about being shorter than all of the other Capture Targets, and rather than calling him a handsome young man (biseinen), his looks tend more towards a handsome youth (bishounen). That being the case, because he is the mature type, no one would think he is the youngest of the group. Looking only at this, he seems like he might be the safest Capture Target, but it just so happens that Athley is Cecile Alldington’s personal servant.
When he was six, Ceciles father found him and made him her servant. And because of Cecile’s inconsistent and ill-natured personality, she severely mistreated him resulting in a mult.i.tude of emotional scars and the habit of bottling up his feelings. Basically, the only way to heal these emotional scars was for Cecile to die. In the end, her fate was either to be stabbed to death by one of her dissatisfied followers…. or to be stabbed to death by Athley. The former happens in the ‘happy end’ and the ‘normal end.’ The latter, however, only occurs in the ‘bad end.’ If that case, Athley could no longer bear his suffering nor watch as Cecile bullies the heroine, so he kills her. Unfortunately, the heroine becomes disgusted by his actions, so Athley ends up killing her too, and then finally himself. It’s the “lover’s suicide” end.
When he was six, Cecile’s father found him and made him her servant. And because of Cecile’s inconsistent and ill-natured personality, she severely mistreated him resulting in a mult.i.tude of emotional scars and the habit of bottling up his feelings. Basically, the only way to heal these emotional scars was for Cecile to die. In the end, her fate was either to be stabbed to death by one of her dissatisfied followers…. or to be stabbed to death by Athley. The former happens in the ‘happy end’ and the ‘normal end.’ The latter, however, only occurs in the ‘bad end.’ If that case, Athley could no longer bear his suffering nor watch as Cecile bullies the heroine, so he kills her. Unfortunately, the heroine becomes disgusted by his actions, so Athley ends up killing her too, and then finally himself. It’s the “lover’s suicide”4 end.
After remembering all of this, the first thing I decide is to not make any friends when I start attending the academy. Or perhaps it might be more accurate to say that I will not make any followers….
The only troubling thing left is, no matter how much I am against it, I can’t avoid getting involved with Athley. He is the most dangerous character, the one most likely to lead to my demise, and no matter how careful I am, I cannot completely escape the fear of him killing me. Moreover, Athley becomes Cecile’s servant when he is six years old….. Currently, I am seven…… Athley is one year younger than me…..
Q. E. D… (T/N =therefore)
Some time during this year, Athley will be coming to my home.
This thought makes me so scared, that my whole body starts to tremble.
I won’t torment you. I promise I won’t. I won’t even be mean to you. So please, just let me live a long life!
Just then, a knock sounded at my door.
“Who is it?”
Hearing Father’s gentle voice from the other side of the door, I tell him to come in.
Father opens the door and steps in along with one other small someone. I can’t see him well because he is hidden behind Father, but judging by his stature, he appears to be about my age, or possibly a bit younger.
Seeing that he is hiding, Father says, “Athley! Where are your manners?”
Oh no, just now, I’m sure my face stiffened.
Out from behind father, a little boy with blonde hair tied behind him had appeared. If he took his hair down, it would probably be at about shoulder height. His features already bear a resemblance to his 15-year-old self when he is attending the academy.
“Nice to meet you……. My name is Athley Carlyle.”
Yup. Of course. I know.
“I’m Cecile Alldington.”
If at all possible, I would really like to be on friendly terms with you. At the very least, I don’t want you to have any reason to resent me.
I extend my hand for a handshake, but surprisingly, Athley seems frightened and starts shaking. …..I’m much more scared of you, though?
Seeing this, Father gets mad and scolds, “Where’s your sense of common courtesy?”
“Father! It’s fine! It’s honestly fine! I’m sure he’s just nervous.”
I’m begging you, please don’t make him hate me. I don’t want to provoke even the smallest grudge from him. Whether he understood my thoughts or not, Father nodded his head and agreed with me.
“Athley is the son of one of the men who used to work for me a long time ago. Both of his parents recently pa.s.sed away in an accident.” Due to this, Father seems to have took him in thinking that he could be my servant. Being only seven, I feel like this is all happening too fast, but it seems to be inevitable, and I’ll never really be ready, so it doesn’t actually matter if this happens now.
I mean, Father probably never considered that this very decision would be the one to force Cecile Alldington to her death.
“Get along with each now, you two.” said Father, smiling, as he left the room.
I don’t remember all of the game’s details, but I do remember that in Athley’s story, Cecile’s parents had welcomed him warmly. But, whenever her parents weren’t watching, Cecile treated Athley cruelly. The other servants, seeing this, took advantage of the situation to bully him as well. In other words, my mother and father had nothing to do with Athley’s hatred. For now, that is a relief.
“I’ll be in your care from now on, Cecile-Ojousama,” said Athley with an emotionless voice and his eyes downcast. He looked empty, almost lifeless. And then I realized it. How could I have forgotten? This child had just lost both of his parents. It’s still too soon for him to be able to say such things with a smile.
“Me too. And, if you ever have any troubles, feel free to talk to me about them, okay?”
Athley bobbed his head in consent, looking as cute as expected of a Capture Target. Such cuteness was not enough to cover the pang of dread that I felt thinking about my death flags though. Since I had been a diehard fan of his route, I know the signs all too well.
“Aren’t you hungry?” I finally asked.
“I’m fine…..” But before Athley even finished speaking, his stomach rumbled.
As I thought, he probably has been bearing his hunger until now without saying anything. Even if he didn’t show any signs of embarra.s.sment, he must be feeling at least a little bit awkward…..
“Let’s go to the kitchen. We can ask if they’ll make us something to eat.”
I walk through the corridors unsteadily with the slightly shorter Athley trailing on behind me.
When we reach the kitchen, I ask the cooks to make us a simple meal. Basically anything but something sweet would do, because, if I recall correctly, the Athley from the game did not like sweets.
While we waited for the cooks to bring us the food, Athley said nothing, though he would occasionally glance my way before quickly casting his eyes down once again.
“Have you met Mother yet?” I asked to break the silence.
“Isn’t she really pretty?”
This whole time, he has not met my gaze even once. Even though I desperately need to be on good terms with him, nothing seems to be working!
“Ummm… let’s see…. hobbies! Do you…. have any?”
“From a while ago, yes.”
Finally he replied with more than just one word, but his eyes still remained cloudy.
“Is there anything that frightens you?”
With this, Athley’s eyes finally show a bit of a reaction.
“What sort of things?”
“….You have been avoiding my eyes for a while now~”
He throws up his hands to cover his face.
“What sort of things~?”
As Athley was looking troubled and I was just sitting there, unsure what to do next, one of the kitchen maids brought us a few plates of food, saving us both.
“…..Thanks for the food.” he said.
And then he promptly stuffed his cheeks. As he did so, his face finally loosened up a bit. So cute. Really, too cute~ For a second, I started to go mad, watching such adorableness…. I even started thinking that if it was this kid, I wouldn’t mind being killed. This is really bad. If it keeps going like this, I really will be killed off and I’ll end up hurting this adorable Athley in the process.
“Is it good?” I asked.
Somehow, this time his answer sounded a little bit more energetic. The power of food really is amazing.
“It’s fine to keep eating, but I have something I need to tell you, Athley Carlyle.”
I start the conversation despite Athley’s cheeks being completely stuffed with food. I’m actually in a super fluffy mood since he is just too cute, but I am desperately trying to rein in that part of me so that he won’t notice.
“Since you are going to be working for me, there are a few things I want you to promise. Okay?”
“………Yes,” replies Athley after he quickly gulps down his current mouthful.
“First off, I need you to never forget that both your body and your mind are your own. You always have the option to refuse any unreasonable demands I make. And, if I ever hurt you in any way, don’t just bear with it, you need to go against me.”
Athley obediently nods his head.
“Secondly, you need to follow your heart. When it comes to friendship, affection, love, don’t make any choices that you are going to regret.”
‘Just, in the case of rushing down the path to love… please don’t kill me.’ I think to myself, though I won’t say this last part out loud.
“Lastly, in the case that you aren’t following the previous two promises, I would be happy if you wouldn’t mind protecting me-….. just kidding…. Yeah… That last request wasn’t that important, so you can forget about it. Anyway, just those first two promises, please do what you can to abide by those.”
I then agitatedly asked Athley if that was okay and he agreed and said that he understood.
Alright! With this, I have gotten just a tiny bit closer to safety.
1Kuudere: this can mean two different things, and until we go further in the story, I’m not sure which one is correct. 1. It is a person who has super strong feelings for someone on the inside, but always remains cool and disinterested on the outside. 2. It can also be someone who says really embarra.s.sing things to their beloved while managing to keep a cool, un-bothered expression. Let’s look forward to finding out which one Lufrey-san is! (a.s.suming I did my research properly and did not completely misinterpret this haha)↩
2Ludolf: So… His name should probably be Rudolph… but it makes me think of the red nosed reindeer, so I changed it to Ludolf, which apparently is still a real name. Hope n.o.body minds! Speaking of name changes, I did the same with Cecile-chan’s servant, Athley. His name should probably be Ashley… but it sounded too girly >_< if="" anyone="" dislikes="" my="" slight="" unfaithfulness="" to="" the="" raws,="" i="" can="" switch="" it="" back,="" but="" for="" now="" i="" prefer="" athley="" and="" ludolf="" to="" ashley="" and="" rudolph.="" i="" am="" sorry="" to="" any="" men="" who="" actually="" have="" these="" names="" and="" take="" offense="" to="">
3Out of consideration: this was written as アウト・オブ・眼中(がんちゅう), with the “out” and “of” written in katakana. I very much enjoyed this, but couldn’t think of a good way to include it in the translation that wouldn’t look weird.↩
4Lover’s Suicide: this is a popular theme in traditional j.a.panese stories. I don’t really think it fits here, since I don’t think the heroine actually wanted to commit suicide, but that’s what it says in the raws so I am sticking to it for once.↩
T/N: Look who finally managed to figure out how to make those fancy hyperlinks~ Not that anyone cares, but this tiny growth in my html knowledge makes me feel accomplished XD Also, this was one long chapter! It took FOREVER to get through. I doubt this one will be able to come out that often. I will probably aim for once every two weeks? But we shall see.