The Duck Commander Family Part 13

You didn't think I was going to give you a recipe for chicken feet, did you? I don't really know why these are called armadillo eggs, but they are, and they are tasty. This is a base for many dishes I make. Anything can be added to it at any time. I have used cherries, jams, candied jalapenos, real mozzarella slivers, and many different kinds of meat. If you're not sure it's done after grilling or broiling your bacon, put it in a black pot, add a little b.u.t.ter or olive oil over the top, cover for ten or fifteen minutes, and let steam. 6 to 8 whole jalapenos, sliced

1 package cream cheese

2 pounds breakfast sausage, formed into 6 to 8 patties

1 pound thin-sliced bacon

1 stick of b.u.t.ter, melted 1. Slice jalapenos in half lengthwise.

2. Use one half of each jalapeno for each armadillo egg. Scoop out seeds and veins and then fill each half with cream cheese.

3. Mold sausage patty around jalapeno, making sure to cover the entire jalapeno pepper.

4. Wrap each armadillo egg with a slice of bacon.

5. Cook "eggs" on open grill until bacon is crispy and sausage is thoroughly cooked, about ten to fifteen minutes.

6. Remove eggs from grill and cover with melted b.u.t.ter.

CHAPTER 12

FAST FOOD

CHILDREN, OBEY YOUR PARENTS IN THE LORD, FOR THIS IS RIGHT. "HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER"-WHICH IS THE FIRST COMMANDMENT WITH A PROMISE-"SO THAT IT MAY GO WELL WITH YOU AND THAT YOU MAY ENJOY LONG LIFE ON THE EARTH."

-EPHESIANS 6:13 Korie: After people watch Duck Dynasty, I often get comments on Twitter and from fans that I come into contact with about how well-mannered our kids are. In the South, traditionally children are expected to say "Yes, ma'am" and "No, sir" to adults. It's important for children to show respect for their elders, but I'm afraid that even in the South, that is something that is fading from our society. I'm really proud of our kids for the way they behave, the way they act toward adults, and their manners in general.

When the Duck Dynasty crew was here filming the scene where Phil had our kids clean up an area of his land to make a football field, I think the crew members expected our kids to be griping and complaining about having to do it. But our kids would never do that, at least not within earshot of their papaw Phil. Even if they didn't want to do it, they would never complain to their grandfather if he asked them to do something. That's not the way they were raised.

In the Robertson house, kids are expected to fit in with the family and do what the family does. Whenever I need the kids to do something, I always say, "All right, kids, it's family cleanup time," "family wash-the-car time," or "family clean-out-the-garage time." You get the idea. When I announce "family time," everyone is expected to join in. It's nonnegotiable, and you don't get paid for it. You just do it, because you are part of the family.

IN THE ROBERTSON HOUSE, KIDS ARE EXPECTED TO FIT IN WITH THE FAMILY AND DO WHAT THE FAMILY DOES.

Not that our kids don't have plenty of activities of their own. But sometimes when a family's life totally revolves around the kids, parents can start to feel like their children are a burden. We've never felt that way. Our lives didn't end when we brought children into the world. When our kids were younger, I just put them on my hip and took them with me wherever I went. If it meant they had to fall asleep on my shoulder while I was answering e-mails or filling orders, then that's just the way it would be. Kids only know what you teach them. If you let the whole world revolve around them when they are younger, when they realize that's not really the way the world works, it's not very pretty.

Having said all that, somebody told me once that they'd never seen anyone watch their children as much as we do. We'll sit around at night just watching them doing tricks and performing for us. That was something I brought from my side of the family. My family absolutely loves to watch our kids perform. It's really one of our favorite things to do. I think enjoying your children and delighting in them is a gift that you give your children. It's a way to show them that they are loved and valued. Plus, there's nothing cuter than a three-year-old showing off her latest dance moves. Hey, wait a minute, I will never forget being in the eighth grade and one Friday night telling Phil about "break dancing." Phil said, "What's that?" I told him, "Let me show ya." I put my boom box down, put in my ca.s.sette of Midnight Star's "No Parking on the Dance Floor," and did an entire dance while Phil watched from his recliner. He seemed impressed. "That's some kinda moves, Will," he told me. "Not sure what that is, but at least it's entertaining." So even the Robertson side did a little watchin'! Korie: Another thing we've always tried to teach our children is that people are more important than things. If one of the kids is watching TV and somebody wants to talk, you stop watching TV and listen to them. You never put more importance on a thing than you do on a person. This is hard for older siblings to learn when there are little ones in the family destroying your favorite toys. But it was a lesson we were intent on teaching. If you are going to teach these tough lessons, though, you have to model them in your own life. When your neighbor borrows your lawn mower and tears it up, you have to act with love and forgiveness. It's in the little things and the big things. Your children are always watching.

WE'VE ALWAYS TRIED TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN THAT PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THINGS.

This was a hard lesson for me because I came from such a poor family. When I was a child, you really took pride in having any possessions. But Korie and her family could always go out and buy a replacement when something got lost or broke. She actually taught me a lot about this lesson in our early marriage days. I was used to protecting my stuff from my brothers like the Secret Service. Korie: Willie and I have always thought that your home should be the happiest place for your family. If you're excited when your kids or husband walks in the front door, then you'll have a much happier family. A lot of people don't make it a habit to do that. They go to work and give their best to the outside world because they know if they're negative or griping or complaining, they might lose their job. They're not going to make a sale with a frown on their faces, so they're always putting on their best smile. It should be that way at home too. I always tell our children that the people they love the most and the people who love them the most are their family. So your family should be the people you treat the best.

When the kids come home every day, we really try to make it a point to greet them, be happy, and ask them how their days went. I do the same thing for Willie, and he does the same thing for me. When Willie comes home, I'm excited. I hug him and kiss him. We find out what happened in each other's day, and it sets the right tone for everything else. Our kids see our love for each other, and they realize that's how they should be treating one another too.

I think having happy kids and a happy marriage is all about respect. Willie and I have a mutual respect for each other, and we try to treat each other respectfully. Sadie once asked me why marriage is so hard. She realized married couples don't always make it and that there are a lot of people getting divorced. Our kids see that Willie and I are happy and think marriage looks pretty easy. Of course, they didn't see us during the early years, when times were tough. In those days we fought our way through all the things newlyweds have to figure out in order to live together peacefully. I told Sadie that sometimes it's hard because you go into a marriage with expectations, and you think the other person is going to be a certain way. You want them to be that way because that's how you always envisioned your husband or wife, or that's how your daddy or mama was when you were growing up. But until you can let those expectations go, and value your spouse for who he or she really is and be thankful for it, then a marriage is never going to work.

HAVING HAPPY KIDS AND A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT RESPECT.

I'm very different from Willie's mom, and Willie is very different from my dad. So if you go into a marriage with all these unrealistic expectations and try to change your spouse to be exactly like you want them to be, then you're always going to be fighting and miserable. But if you can let those false expectations go, you can learn to appreciate and be thankful for who that person is, and then marriage can be a great thing. I think marriages start to go bad when selfishness creeps in. Korie and I are super laid-back, in a lot of ways like my parents were. I never liked taking orders, never liked being bossed around, and I didn't marry a parent figure. There is no sense in my giving her orders or her giving me orders; we're both adults. I married somebody to share my life with. You have to let your spouse be the person they want to be, and you have to let them do the things they want to do. If she doesn't feel like cleaning the kitchen one day, she doesn't have to. If I feel it needs to be cleaned, I can do it myself, or hire someone to do it. I don't tell her what to do. I'm not her father. She does the same for me.

Korie ended up working at Duck Commander with me, but if she wanted to do something entirely different, I would have supported her. As the kids have gotten older and as the business has grown, there have been times where I've told her, "If you want to stop, you can stop. Don't feel like you have to work." I've asked her several times if she didn't want me to go on the road, and if she hadn't wanted me to go, I wouldn't have gone. Now, she'd have had to realize that the business might have suffered from it, but if it did, then so be it. Making a little extra money is never worth it if it's at the expense of your family. If you work with your spouse, then you really have to respect each other and communicate well. Those are the keys to living and working with your spouse happily. Korie: When Willie was growing up, he always knew what the consequences were if he misbehaved or acted out of line, and it was the same in my home. We try to never yell at our kids or even raise our voices at them. I can honestly say that I have never heard Willie yell at our children but he has always disciplined them with an immediate action. I remember one time when the kids were fighting and driving me crazy. The TV was turned up really loud, and they were yelling at each other, fighting over some toy or what movie they were going to watch next. Willie came through the door and saw that I was about at my wit's end. He just walked over and turned the TV off. The kids looked at him and thought, "Wait, what just happened?" There was complete silence in the room. Without saying a word, Willie was telling them, "If you're going to fight, then you're not going to get to watch TV." The argument was over, and there was no discussion or arguing back and forth. Willie just put an end to it.

THE ARGUMENT WAS OVER, AND THERE WAS NO DISCUSSION OR ARGUING BACK AND FORTH. WILLIE JUST PUT AN END TO IT.

That's how discipline generally works in our house. When our kids were toddlers, if one of our kids woke up from a nap and was whiny or in a bad mood, then he or she was expected to turn around and go straight back to his or her room. If one of the kids is driving everybody else crazy, then he or she is removed from the situation. They're sent to their room until they can get along with everyone else.

But Willie seems to get his point across better than me. I'm usually the one who wakes the kids up for school in the morning, and Bella takes forever to get out of bed. I have to admit, I was the same way for my mom, so maybe I have too much patience for it. But I have to roll her over and keep prodding her to get up. Then I have to go back and check to make sure she didn't go back to sleep after I left. But Willie literally just walks into a room and turns on a light. He says, "Get up," and they get up. I'm always like, "How in the world did you do that?" I guess that's just the difference between mamas and daddies, and it's important to have that balance. When the kids are misbehaving, I don't count to three. One is enough. I try not to be the one always saying no, but when I do, it should carry some weight. I try to be the parent who disciplines our kids because I don't want Korie to be burdened with it. I think Korie and I have really defined roles in how we handle situations. Korie's tolerance line has always been a lot higher than mine. My kids will test me, but they understand that when they reach my tolerance line, that's it and it's over. The key is being consistent so you never confuse them.

I never raise my voice. Phil never yelled at us when I was growing up. When Phil said it, he said it and didn't have to scream. I see people yelling at their kids, and I always think, "I ain't going to do that." Phil let his actions speak louder than his words. I think one of the most powerful things that happened to us as kids was when my oldest brother, Alan, was seventeen. He and his buddies went camping and were drinking beer. Then they decided to knock down a bunch of mailboxes up the road in a drunken redneck night. A neighbor came down the next morning and talked to Phil. Jase and I were pretty young, and we could hear the adults whispering in the kitchen. I remember hearing Phil say, "Okay, I got you." Phil walked out the front door, climbed in his truck, and drove off.

Phil drove to Alan's camp and found beer cans all over the ground. He told Alan to get in his truck. Then he told the three other boys, "If you ever want to come to my house for the rest of your life, get in my truck, and you're getting a whippin' for tearing up those mailboxes." Two of Alan's friends came over to our house pretty regularly, so they figured they'd better get in the truck. The third guy had never even seen Phil, and Al and the other two boys told him they wouldn't hold it against him if he didn't come. I guess he figured, "How bad can it really be?" The four of them climbed in the back of the truck, and Phil drove them back to our house. Jase and I hid in the azalea bushes and watched Phil whip four seventeen-year-old men. One of them was Bill "Red Dawg" Phillips, who was one of Alan's best friends and later worked for Duck Commander and appeared in several Duckmen videos. Phil told him, "I've known you all your life. I'm so disappointed. I can't believe you pulled a stunt like this." Greg Eppinette, who would later become one of our cameramen on the Duckmen videos, was also there. Phil told him, "I know your parents. We've been to church together. You tell your daddy why you got this." Then Phil whipped him. Next was the boy Phil had never laid eyes on. "Son," Phil said, "I don't know who you are but you tell your daddy that I whipped you and why I did it, and if he has a problem with it, he can come talk to me." Last was Alan, who was wearing these short little running shorts. It was the 1980s, and he looked like Richard Simmons. You want to talk about influencing young ones. It hurt Jase and me to watch that belt hitting Alan's pasty thighs. That was pretty much all it took to keep Alan in line for the rest of high school, and Jase and me as well.

After raising four kids, I think discipline has to start when they're young. A lot of our friends will say, "Oh, he's out of control," and their son is ten years old. I'm always thinking, "He's probably going to be out of control when he's eighteen. You missed it." By the time a kid is ten years old, his parents have missed their window of opportunity to really lay down the ground rules. I'm not saying it's over, I'm just saying the sooner you start teaching your kids what is expected and being consistent with your discipline, the better. Kids respond better when the boundaries are clearly defined. All of our children are old enough now that spankings are pretty much a thing of the past. I know that they will continue to find ways to test our boundaries, but disrespect is not tolerated, and if I see even an ounce of it, I promise, I can still think of some ways to make them regret it.

THE SOONER YOU START TEACHING YOUR KIDS WHAT IS EXPECTED AND BEING CONSISTENT WITH YOUR DISCIPLINE, THE BETTER.

Of course, John Luke and Sadie always tell Will and Bella that they have it a lot easier. But I think the two younger kids saw how the two older kids acted, and they learned that's what was expected of them. If the two older kids were terrors, then the two younger kids would have probably ended up being terrors, too. Korie: Willie commands respect from our kids because they know there is always going to be an immediate reaction if they misbehave. You have to discipline out of love, and there are lots of ways you can do that. We discipline them because we love them and we want to help them to grow into happy, healthy adults. Now that John Luke and Sadie are teenagers, they say that we are more relaxed than their friends' parents. We don't have to do much discipline anymore because we instilled that respect when they were young. And I have to say, we have really good kids. Of course, our kids aren't perfect. We've been on trips where everything was great until the ride home. Will and Bella will start arguing over something ridiculous, and they turn into typical nine- and ten-year-old kids. They'll have their struggles and their difficult times, but they know that we love them and will always be there for them, no matter if they're "a policeman or a jail person." They're ours! Sometimes people ask us if we're worried how the fame will affect our kids. You know what? We're all in the same boat. Everybody is trying to raise their kids to be compa.s.sionate, loving, and responsible adults. There are some famous people who have kids who have messed up, but there are people working at a mill whose kids have messed up. We're all doing the best we can to raise our children. It's not really about fame. It's about spending time with your children, disciplining them when they need it, praising them when they need it, and letting them know they're loved.

All right, enough about our awesome kids. I hope you don't think we are saying we are the perfect parents or have the perfect family. Far from it! We do try to glorify G.o.d in the way we treat one another and the way we raise our children, and then we ask G.o.d to do the rest. Many of you reading this could certainly teach us a thing or two about marriage and child rearing, but these are just some things that we've done in our home, and if they help any of you, then it was worth writing it.

I HATE TO ADMIT IT, BUT I'LL JUST GO AHEAD AND THROW IT OUT THERE: I'M NOT THE COOK THAT KAY IS. OKAY, I'M NOT EVEN HALF THE COOK KAY IS.

Korie: You may have been wondering why we named this chapter "Fast Food." Well, I hate to admit it, but I'll just go ahead and throw it out there: I'm not the cook that Kay is. Okay, I'm not even half the cook Kay is. That's why on Duck Dynasty you always see me chopping vegetables. It's a joke around here that in every scene I'm in with Kay, I'm always chopping vegetables. Willie says I put my ap.r.o.n on to toss the salad. I'm just not a good cook. I'm always rushed and have a hundred other things going on, so I burn the bread, or I'll start cooking something and realize I don't have the main ingredient!

Willie's the cook in our house. He is incredible. He can just throw a bunch of stuff together along with something he caught or brought out of the woods and it turns into a gourmet meal. Am I ever thankful that I married a man who can cook! The problem is, when he is not around, I am helpless. The kids and I have to survive on breakfast for supper. I'm good at pancakes, bacon and eggs, or something easy like tacos, but that's about the extent of it.

I promise I tried. When we got married, Kay gave me all of her recipes, along with a set of my own black skillets. I cooked for a while, but the more kids I had, the worse I seemed to get. I just couldn't do it all, and I had to admit it just wasn't my thing. Willie says he retired me from the kitchen when Will and Bella came along. It doesn't bother me. I'm good at a lot of things. Cooking just doesn't happen to be one of them. I'm good at being a mom; Willie's good at cooking. It works for us.

So, having said all that, I have to tell you that sometimes-well, more often than I care to admit-we just eat fast food. There, I said it. The end of every episode of Duck Dynasty shows us all around the dinner table, and that's real. It's what we do. We love to get together and enjoy a big meal together as a family. We do it often, but not every day. Sometimes we just go through the drive-through line and talk about our day in the car on the way to the next sporting event, and then we wait for Daddy to get home from his latest hunting or business trip so he can whip us up one of his gourmet meals!

HOMEMADE MAC AND CHEESE

Korie: This is an easy mac and cheese recipe that both kids and adults love. It is one of Kay's recipes that I make often. It's so easy, I can even do it! 1 package (16 ounces) large elbow macaroni

8 tablespoons b.u.t.ter

salt and pepper to taste

8 tablespoons flour

21/2 cups milk

2 cups cheddar cheese, grated 1. Cook macaroni according to package directions.

2. While macaroni is boiling, melt b.u.t.ter on medium heat in a medium-sized saucepan and add salt, pepper, and flour. Stir continuously.