The Double Widowing Part 10

Widow I know it's you.

Bramble Yes,--while you call me your husband, you will be my wife. You will love me a little--right? Hey--modesty renders her silent. Hmm. How much more delightful this hand is to kiss than that of my late wife.

Hers was rough, this is soft. But don't lose any time. Come with me.

(pulling her) What is it? What's wrong?

Widow Ah, Desmond--

Bramble What do I hear?

(Enter Tuneless with a candle. The Widow and Bramble see each other, scream, and exit in different directions.)

Tuneless I turn the thing into raillery. Now, we shall see. I have an idea that I must communicate to Lucy.

(Exit Tuneless.)

[Curtain in the original. End of Act II.]

(The lights darken, indicating the pa.s.sage of time. Enter Arabella and Lucy.)

Lucy Mr. Bramble is outraged not to be a widower. He curses the Countess who has given him his false joy--but, he doesn't break with Tuneless, because he's afraid Tuneless will inform his dear lady of his infidelity. He still loves you, but he's still more amorous of inheriting from his wife. This should make it easier for Tuneless to bring him round.

Arabella Really, what good can all this do?

Lucy It may help--with luck. But frankly, I don't think it will help. Let's retire. I'm going to see in what shape my lady is in.

(Exit Lucy and Arabella. Enter Tuneless and Bramble.)

Tuneless Yes, sir, it's dissimulation that keeps society going between men-- civil and matrimonial.

Bramble Ouf!

Tuneless Under the shelter of dissimulation, courtiers embrace each other, women compliment each other, and authors bow to each other at a distance. Dissimulation creates new friendships and smoothes over old hatreds.

Bramble Ouf!

Tuneless Without dissimulation, how many secret separations would grow into public divorces. But dissimulation gives wisdom to men, joy to husbands--that's why there are so many happy families at present.

Bramble Ah, my dear Tuneless--

Tuneless You begin to dissimulate--. You hide from me your fear that I might reveal to your wife your pa.s.sion for-- Don't worry, I am discreet, and she herself cannot prove, even if she suspects, that you took her for Arabella--for you spoke low and she fainted.

Bramble I am furious when I think--

Tuneless That she didn't faint?

Bramble The liar.

Tuneless It's with lying that you find the way to dissimulate.

Bramble What! All the caresses that she gave me for ten years were only to have my wealth.

Tuneless While you permitted her to caress, so you could have hers.

Bramble A woman who hopes to outlive her husband is very unnatural.

Tuneless For a man to wish to live longer than is wife is very--natural.

Bramble To have a criminal pa.s.sion for my nephew.

Tuneless While you have an innocent tenderness for her niece.

Bramble Heaven will punish her and all those who wish the death of others.

Such people always die first.

Tuneless Good. You will both predecease the other.

Bramble Now, I must dissimulate to keep the peace at home, and to preserve my honor before the world.

Tuneless Very good. But, remember the essential thing. Send your nephew to the Indies.

Bramble To the Indies. I will spare nothing to get him there.

Tuneless Here--begin your dissimulation with the Countess. Go joke with her about the trick she played on you, and joke in the faces of all those who do nothing but laugh behind your back.

Bramble That's the role I've got to take.

(Exit Bramble. After a moment, enter Lucy from another direction.)

Lucy Well, Tuneless?

Tuneless I've brought him to the point at which I want him. He will dissimulate. But, I had trouble calming his rage.

Lucy The rage of my mistress is very violent. To soften it, she fainted twice.

Tuneless It's the strength of women to have such little weaknesses ready at their command. For when these great accidents occur--the attack is very strong--and a woman saves herself by fainting or weeping.

Lucy She fortifies herself in this way against reflections, and when she gets her strength back, there are tirades of abuse against her husband--but she leave the name blank.

Tuneless Let's finish. It's time to manage the interview.

Lucy Yes. Here's the lady--bring on the husband.

Tuneless I'll go fetch him.

(Exit Tuneless. Enter Widow from another direction.)

Widow Where are you at, Lucy? You've abandoned me in my rage. I am furious against the Countess.

Lucy That is to say, against your husband.