The Dodge Club Part 14

With this last remark b.u.t.tons walked to the door, and without another word opened it, and motioned to Il Piccolo to leave. The vetturino departed in silence.

On the following morning he made his appearance as pleasant as though nothing had happened.

The carriage rolled away from Salerno. Broad fields stretched away on every side. Troops of villagers marched forth to their labor. As they went on they saw women working in the fields, and men lolling on the fences.

"Do you call that the stuff for a free country?" cried the Senator, whose whole soul rose up in arms against such a sight. "Air these things men? or can such slaves as these women seem to be give birth to any thing but slaves?"

"Bravo!" cried b.u.t.tons.

The Senator was too indignant to say more, and so fell into a fit of musing.

"d.i.c.k," said b.u.t.tons, after a long pause, "you are as pale as a ghost.

I believe you must be beginning to feel the miasma from these plains."

"Oh no," said d.i.c.k, dolefully; "something worse."

"What's the matter?"

"Do you remember the eggs we had for dinner last evening?"

"Yes."

"That's what's the matter," said d.i.c.k, with a groan. "I can't explain; but this, perhaps, will tell thee all I feel."

He took from his pocket a paper and handed it to b.u.t.tons. Around the margin were drawn etchings of countless fantastic figures, ill.u.s.trating the following lines:

A NIGHTMARE.

"_Gorgons, and hydras, and chimeras dire_."

BY A VICTIM.

Eggs! Eggs!! Eggs!!!

Hard boiled eggs for tea!

And oh! the horrible nightmare dream They brought to luckless me!

The hippopotamus came; He sat upon my chest: The hippopotamus roared "I'll spot him!" as He trampled upon my breast.

The big iguanodon hunched And rooted in under me: The big iguanodon raised by that pan o' done Overdone eggs for tea.

The ichthyosaurus tried To roll me up in a ball; While all the three were grinning at me, And pounding me, bed and all.

Hip! hip! hurrah!

It was a little black pig, And a big bull-frog, and a bobtailed dog-- All of them dancing a jig.

And oh, the snakes! the snakes!

And the boa constrictor too!

And the cobra capello--a terrible fellow-- Came to my horrified view.

Snakes and horrible beasts, Frog, pig, and dog Hustled me, pushed me, tickled me, crushed me, Rolled me about like a log.

The little blue devils came on; They rode on a needle's point; And the big giraffe, with asthmatic laugh, And legs all out of joint.

Bats crawled into my ears, Hopping about in my brain; And grizzly bears rode up on mares, And then rode down again.

An antediluvian roared, In the form of a Brahmin bull; And a Patagonian squeezed an onion, Filling my aching eyes full.

The three blue bottles that sat Upon the historical stones Sang, "Hey diddle diddle"--two on a fiddle, The other one on the bones.

"Whoo! whoo! whoo!

Get up, get up, you beauty!

Here come the shaved monkeys, a-ridlng on donkeys, Fresh from Bobberty Shooty."

They raised me up in the air, Bed, body, and all, And carried me soon to the man in the moon, At the siege of Sebastopol.

Down, down, down, Round, round, round, A whirlpool hurled me out of the world, And on, no bottom I found.

Down, down, down, Whirl, whirl, whirl, And the Florentine boar was pacing the sh.o.r.e, His tail all out of curl.

He smoked my favorite pipe, He blew a cloud of smoke, He pulled me out with his porcine snout, And hugging him, I awoke.

"Why, d.i.c.k," cried the Senator, "what precious nonsense!"

"It was intended to be so," said d.i.c.k.

"Well, but you might as well put on an _idee_. It must have some meaning."

"Not a bit of it. It has no meaning; that is, no more than a dream or a nightmare."

The Senator now began to discuss the nature of poetry, but was suddenly interrupted by a shout--

"The Temples!"

The country about Paestum is one of the most beautiful in the world.

Between the mountains and the sea lies a luxuriant plain, and in the middle of it is the ruined city. The outlines of walls and remnants of gates are there. Above all rise five ancient edifices. They strolled carelessly around. The marble floors of a good many private houses are yet visible, but the stupendous temples are the chief attractions here; above all, the majestic shrine of Neptune.

It was while standing with head thrown back, eyes and mouth opened wide, and thoughts all taken up with a deep calculation, that the Senator was startled by a sudden noise.

Turning hastily he saw something that made him run with the speed of the wind toward the place where the noise arose. b.u.t.tons and d.i.c.k were surrounded by a crowd of fierce-looking men, who were making very threatening demonstrations. There were at least fifteen. As the Senator ran up from one direction, so came up Mr. Figgs and the Doctor from another.

"What is this?" cried the Senator, bursting in upon the crowd.

A huge Italian was shaking his fist in b.u.t.tons's face, and stamping and gesticulating violently.