The Devil Inside Part 4

"Cain, don't."

"Don't what?" They had started toward the stairs and Cain stopped, confused by the request.

"He just scared me, and I know you don't think so, but he doesn't deserve what you have in mind."

Cain took a deep breath in an effort to control her rage, not wanting to scare Emma anymore, but she couldn't resist picking up an expensive vase and flinging it at the wall. "This can't go unanswered, love, you know that. What he did"

"He did to me," said Emma. "So I'm asking you to let him live. I won't have his death on my conscience for a 'what if.' G.o.d is forgiving, but not that forgiving." A bit of her mother seeped into her speech, but she really didn't believe in taking someone's life. And from what she was seeing in Cain's eyes, that was exactly what was going to happen to Danny if she didn't do anything to stop it. "Promise me on what we have together you'll respect my wishes. I want your word."

"Why? After what he did today, why?"

She gazed up at Cain, trying to find the right words. "Because this time it happened to me, and I don't believe this behavior warrants such a rash act. That's the best way I can explain how I feel about it."

Emma's reasoning wasn't good enough, and the logical part of Cain's brain told her to send her upstairs with their son and be done with what had to happen. The guy had crossed an unforgivable line, and the price was his life. Cain knew that, but the trust in Emma's eyes made her turn away from logic and tell her what she wanted to hear. No matter the cost, Cain didn't want to destroy how Emma felt about her so she answered with her heart. "I give you my word."

"Thank you."

Hours pa.s.sed after the brief conversation, and when Hayden had fallen asleep, Emma went in search of her partner. The house was quiet and the sun had just set, so it was easy to hear the squeak of the cellar door as it opened.

"Get rid of him."

Cain's voice and her words made Emma grab the banister to keep her feet. When she turned the corner, she stopped. She felt sick when she saw the blood splattered across Cain's shirt and pants, and her crimson hands. "You promised me. I thought your word meant something to you."

In their time together she had never thought of Cain as a liar, but before her stood not only a liar, but also a vicious killer. A killer covered in the evidence of her crime, who had committed the act with her wife and son in the house.

"I promised you, and I kept my word." The blue eyes never wavered, and she delivered the words calmly.

All her mother's warnings crashed down on her. She sank into the nearest chair, disgusted with her own naivete. She had wanted to believe so badly in Cain that she had refused to see what was right in front of her. How much more plainly could Cain show her the depth of her deceptions? This time she was covered in the truth of what she was and what she was capable of. Emma felt her heart turn cold at the fact that she was sharing her life, her bed, and her soul with a killer. To make it worse, she had given this devil a child to perpetuate what the Casey family stood for.

She loved Cain, but she couldn't ignore this evil woman who stood there and blatantly lied to her. Despite their love, she had time to salvage as much of her family as she could. She refused to become as guilty as Cain. She refused to teach Hayden that murder, revenge, and dishonesty were codes to center his life around.

"I said I kept my word," repeated Cain.

"Thank you." Those two empty words were all Emma could think to add.

"At a birthday party for your aunt Marie that Cain and I hosted, one of the guests got drunk and tried something he should've known better about, considering who I was and who I lived with. But I guess he thought Cain would tolerate it since the Irish whiskey was flowing as well as the ale, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. You were about to turn seven, and I remember looking out into the yard and seeing Cain help you get a piece of cake."

Emma took her gloved hands out of her pockets and brought them up to hug herself from the sudden chill the memories had brought on. She realized her voice sounded detached and devoid of emotion, which was a lie. With every detail she retold, she relived the anguish.

"I don't think anyone noticed when this guy dragged me into one of the bedrooms. Just when I thought something horrible was going to happen to me, somebody jerked the guy's body off me. One second I was in terror, and the next I was in the arms of someone I knew would keep me safe."

"Cain?" Hayden looked at her for the first time since they'd left the house.

"Yes, it was Cain. I don't know how she knew, but she saved me."

"So as her reward, you left her?"

His voice sounded so incredulous his mother almost laughed. Her son wasn't yet twelve, but he already thought like the heir to the Casey name. Every sacrifice she'd made to get Hayden back was in vain. Cain was too ingrained where it mattered mosthis heart.

"I didn't leave because of that, Hayden. After she calmed me down and let someone take me upstairs with you, she cleared the grounds. I waited up because I was so worried about her, and because I wanted her to hold me and make the humiliation go away. After what seemed an eternity, I went downstairs to look for her. The man was gone, but Cain hadn't cleaned up yet. I saw her hands. Her hands and her clothes are etched into my brain, and I'm sorry, but I couldn't live like that any more. There was so much blood. She was covered in it, so much so that it felt like it would taint all of us like a flood. The sight of it made me sick. I didn't want to be responsible for getting someone hurt, or worse, just because I shared a bed with the head of the Casey family. I'm sorry if that's hard for you to hear, but it's the truth."

She put her hand on Hayden's arm to get him to stop walking. When he paused, she thought she had gotten through to him and he'd understood her position.

"Mom protected you, and you left because of it?"

Hearing it put like that, her actions didn't make much sense to her either. "I'm not one of my father's cows, Hayden. I don't belong to Cain like some piece of furniture. As much as I respect her sense of family and honor, this isn't feudal j.a.pan where I'm expected to walk four steps behind her. I was her wife, and I wanted to have some say in what happened in my life and the lives of my children. But she told me she didn't kill the guy like she wanted to because I asked for his life. I thought it was a job for the policenot Cain's hands or the muzzle of her gun. Do you understand all of Cain? What she's capable of, under the right circ.u.mstances?"

"I understand better than you. But you left one more person out there just waiting to hurt her or me. All because you were weak. Did you think of that when you were being so charitable? Sure, you did what you thought was right. But I can't respect you for it. You and your clear conscience. Too bad you didn't care as much about Mom and me. Why didn't you ever stop to think about me?" The anger that had been bottled up for four years came pouring out until Hayden was screaming at her.

Hayden's words. .h.i.t her like physical blows, so she moved a little away from him, and her eyes filled with tears again. "Listen to you. No eleven-year-old should have to think that. This doesn't have to be your life, son. I more than care about you, I love you. It killed a big part of me to walk away. You, Cain, and Marie were my family. You're still a part of my family, and I want you to know you have options other than Cain." When Hayden didn't object she moved back close enough to put her hand on the sleeve of his coat.

"What, I could come live here and learn to milk cows? Better yet, I could spend the rest of my life trying to get Grandmother Carol to not look at me like she hates everything about my family and me. No, thank you. You wanted me here so we could get to know each other. Well, you're no one I want to waste my time getting to know better, lady." He jerked his arm out of her grasp and walked farther away from her, wiping his eyes as he went.

Emma just watched him leave, not thinking of anything that would make him stop. The hope she had so fragilely pieced together when she left for New Orleans to see him again shattered with every step he took away from her. She was sure this defeat would hurt as much as giving up her life with Cain.

Hayden turned back toward the house, ignoring Mook as he pa.s.sed. He wanted nothing more than to leave when Cain arrived. Coming here was a mistake, and Cain would have to respect his wishes about not caring to have a relationship with Emma. He had done his part. He had tried because of the precious memories he still clung to when he remembered his mother. This time around he would walk away, and she could spend the rest of her days reliving the pain of loss.

"Let him cool off, Emma. Don't worry. He'll be fine. You just hit a raw nerve without knowing," said Mook.

"What do you mean?"

"He still misses Marie. It upsets him sometimes when someone mentions her name, and he wasn't expecting it."

"Did Cain have to inst.i.tutionalize her?" Emma remembered Cain's younger sister and the afternoons she'd spent listening to Cain read to her. She recalled Marie's blue eyes looking adoringly at Cain.

"She died almost three months ago."

"What? How?"

"You aren't getting the story out of me, and I'll have to insist you don't ask Hayden about it again." The bodyguard broke out into a run when his charge disappeared into the house, leaving Emma to fill in the blanks however she wanted.

The two houseguests spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening behind the closed door of their bedroom. Emma walked past it more than twenty times but took Mook's warning seriously.

Chapter Eight.

The sun had set by the time Emma felt comfortable enough to knock and see if Hayden and Mook wanted to come down for dinner. Her hands flew to her chest when, before her knuckles made contact with the wood, the door opened. Hayden had his coat on and rushed past her toward the stairs, obviously heading outside.

She heard the front door open and close and ran down after him. Is he leaving? Her worst fears were confirmed when she saw the entourage of people standing in her father's yard.

Pulling back the curtain in the living room, she spotted a large SUV parked near the barn. From the light spilling out of the large building, she saw Hayden clinging to Cain. He stayed in Cain's arms for a long time, as if trying to make himself feel better after the horrible morning he'd spent with his birth mother. He'd obviously called, and she'd come early to take him away.

Cain and Hayden strode into the barn, leaving all the help, as Cain liked to call them, outside near the car. The head of the Casey family surely wasn't expecting a mob hit or trouble here, since she'd brought only Merrick and a couple of others with her. In New Orleans, depending on what was going on in the business, anywhere from four to eight guards trailed Cain every day. They had also been a presence in Emma's life, and of all the things she missed, the guards weren't one of them.

Emma looked on as Hayden told Cain something and kept pointing toward the house. Cain c.o.c.ked her head to the side as she listened, looking in her direction every so often as if she knew Emma was standing at the window.

When the boy finished, Cain hugged him again before she put her hands on his shoulders and started to explain something to him. "Hayden, she didn't know about Marie, so try and let that one go, buddy."

Cain squeezed his shoulders, trying to get him to look up. The death of her sister was still a raw spot for both of them, but especially for Hayden, who had spent so much time with Marie. Cain would arrive on many an afternoon to find him reading to her from one of his textbooks so she could learn whatever he was studying in school.

"If she called more often than every four years she'd've known."

"And as my grandmother used to say, if you were born with wheels you'd have been a bicycle," said Cain in a light voice.

"Mom, what in the world's that supposed to mean?"

She laughed as she watched her son's face go from an expression of gloom to one of confusion. "I'm not really sure myself, but it seemed like the right thing to say."

"Come on. I'll show you where we're staying for the night. We've got a lot to catch up on." Hayden moved away from Cain for a minute and went to welcome Merrick.

When he did, Cain looked back up at the house, saw her ex-lover standing in the window, and wondered what had brought their talk around to her late sister. Something had, because she knew Emma well enough to know she would use all the time she'd been given to win Hayden over, just like she had won her own heart so many years before.

Cain hadn't gotten this far in life without being smart enough to suspect this visit was Emma's first step in a plan to lure Hayden away from the evil Caseys. Cain would find out what had upset him soon enough, but now it was time to get out of this f.u.c.king cold. If Hayden wanted to leave, the morning would be soon enough.

"Cain?"

She turned toward the masculine voice and broke into a smile. "Ross, how are you?"

"Fine, thanks for asking. And thank you for letting young Hayden come visit. We've really enjoyed having him." Ross stood at the door of the barn wearing a heavy plaid wool jacket with matching hat.

The flaps that covered his ears looked almost comical, but Cain found herself wishing she had one of her own. "Thanks for having him, Ross. Hayden's a great kid." She patted her son on the back.

"Yeah, and now he can go back to the city with the knowledge of how to milk a cow under his belt."

They all laughed at the statement, making the young man blush.

"Let me show you where you're bunking down for the night, Cain."

"I'll get it, Mr. Ross. Go on inside with Emma."

Ross quickly moved toward the house, acting as if he knew Hayden and his mother needed privacy.

"What's up?" The question came out of Cain's mouth the minute the door of the bunkhouse closed.

"I just want to leave here. Does something have to be wrong?"

Cain took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She had wanted her son to know Emma, but not at the expense of his happiness. Heading down the path of sleepless nights and nightmares again wasn't high on her agenda. They had gotten through the pain of Emma's desertion together the first time, and she would always help him. But if it she could avoid a repeat of that cycle, she would do whatever was necessary for Hayden's peace of mind.

"Right this minute?"

"No, you're right. No sense spending the night in one of those uncomfortable chairs at the airport, but tomorrow I want to go. I came so you wouldn't think I was afraid to try, but I don't want to stay. It's just..." Hayden turned and faced the front door of the bunkhouse.

"Finish, son. You know you don't ever have to do anything just to make me happy. Someday I'll start asking you to do things for the good of the family, but that's far in the future. The best thing my old man did for me was let me live before he gave me too much responsibility. I love you, Hayden, and if it's in your best interest I'll move heaven and earth to give you what you want. If it's to leave here, you don't even have to tell me why."

Cain put her hands on her son's shoulders. As smart and mature as her kid was, he was still a kid.

"It's just that you're my family, Mom. You and Aunt Marie. I don't need anything or anyone else." He recognized the long intake of air and slow exhale he heard above his head as a technique Cain used to calm down.

"Did something happen, or did someone tell you something?"

"No, I'm just ready to go home." The big hands on his shoulders just patted him gently before pulling away. The loving gesture let him know she would give in and leave in the morning, if that was what he really wanted.

Mother and son sat with their guards in the small kitchen in the bunkhouse and ate. Merrick had brought supplies with her, knowing Carol wouldn't feed them. And considering they were in the middle of some frozen h.e.l.l, they didn't have a slew of restaurants to pick from if she wasn't up to cooking.

A little after ten, Cain settled Hayden down in one of the bunks in the large open room at the center and waited for him to go to sleep. When he was out for the night, she and Merrick shared a look before Cain put on her coat and hat and headed outside. She hadn't made it halfway toward the front door of the farmhouse when Emma stepped onto the porch.

"He wants you to take him home?"

Cain looked at the empty fields, wondering how people didn't go completely insane living out here. "Tomorrow. Now you want to tell me what in the h.e.l.l happened? I didn't think you two would be glued at the hip when I got here, but the phone call I got this morning surprised me. Hayden doesn't usually give up on anything so easily."

"He told me today all the stuff he talks to you about was none of my business, so why should it be any different for me?" Emma was hurting and tried to lash out at the person she blamed for her misery.

Cain just nodded again and turned around, headed back to the bunkhouse. "Please, don't go. I'm sorry. This isn't your fault."

"What do you want from me? I raised him to be strong, Emma. Not to be like me but to choose his own path and be whatever he wants. Hayden's his own person, and I happen to love the h.e.l.l out of who he is. He's better than me and you put together. Whatever happened today, you're right. That's between the two of you, but don't expect me to get in the middle. Nor am I going to champion your side. So what is it you want? For me to shake him until he agrees to stay?" Cain took her hands out of her coat pockets and spread them out, obviously frustrated.

"I want to talk to you and not have you sound like you hate me. I want for our son to look at me like I'm a member of his family, like I'm his mother and not some woman he has to spend time with because that's what you expect. I want him to want to please me as much as he lives to please you." Her voice started to sound ragged even to her own ears by the time Emma was done.

The stream of air that left Cain's mouth smoked the air at least two feet in front of her. "You could've had all that and more, and you know it. You left for your own reasons, none of which were me asking you to go. In fact, if memory serves me correctly it was me who asked you to stay. You want him to look at you and treat you like you're his mother. You should've sent him a letter now and then. What I did four years ago was a mistake, but I'm not making any more where you're concerned. I'll give you the morning to convince him to stay, if you can. After that I'm taking him home, if that's what he wants."

"What do you mean you made a mistake?" Emma wondered if Cain really regretted killing the man for what he'd tried to do.

"I listened to you, and I let him live. It's a mistake that has cost me dearly."

Just as quickly Emma realized Cain was still a heartless liar. What she had put into motion didn't seem so horrible now.

Chapter Nine.

Merrick was sitting on Cain's bunk when her boss stepped back into the room and watched as she stripped off her hat, gloves, and coat. She enjoyed looking at the long, denim-wrapped legs since she rarely saw Cain in anything other than a business suit. They shared a close relationship, but she had never been able to convince Cain to cross the line and add being lovers to their list of accomplishments. She knew what Cain needed was a woman like Emma, but one who thought like her when it came to business and family. Merrick loved and accepted all of Cain, whereas Emma obviously could only stomach the soft and gentle parts. Emma had never sat back and learned, like Merrick, that it was Cain's strength for all things that made her incredibly attractive.

"How's the ex?"

"A little miffed. It would seem her son doesn't love her as much as he loves us. It always amazes me the things people can do to convince themselves how the world around them should work and respond to their decisions."

"Baby, what have I told you about women?"

"I believe your advice was along the lines of staying away from them. Maybe only after Special Agent Barney Kyle finally snares me in the trap he's been laying for years and convinces a judge to send me to the men's prison do I see that happening."