The Delights of Wisdom Pertaining to Conjugial Love Part 16

534. After this I conversed with the angels, informing them that somewhat further is revealed in the world by the Lord. They asked, "What?" I said, "Concerning love truly conjugial and its heavenly delights." The angels said, "Who does not know that the delights of conjugial love exceed those of all other loves? and who cannot see, that into some love are collected all the blessednesses, satisfactions, and delights, which can possibly be conferred by the Lord, and that the receptacle thereof is love truly conjugial, which is capable of receiving and perceiving them fully and sensibly?" I replied, "They do not know this, because they have not come to the Lord, and lived according to his precepts, by shunning evils as sins and doing goods; and love truly conjugial with its delights is solely from the Lord, and is given to those who live according to his precepts; thus it is given to those who are received into the Lord's new church, which is meant in the Apocalypse by the New Jerusalem." To this I added, "I am in doubt whether in the world at this day they are willing to believe that this love in itself is a spiritual love, and hence grounded in religion, because they entertain only a corporeal idea respecting it." Then they said to me, "Write respecting it, and follow revelation; and afterwards the book written respecting it shall be sent down from us out of heaven, and we shall see whether the things contained in it are received; and at the same time whether they are willing to acknowledge, that that love is according to the state of religion with man, spiritual with the spiritual, natural with the natural, and merely carnal with adulterers."

535. After this I heard an outrageous murmur from below, and at the same time these words, "Do miracles; and we will believe you." And I asked, "Are not the things above-mentioned miracles?" Answer was made, "They are not." I again asked, "What miracles then do you mean?" And it was said, "Disclose and reveal things to come; and we will have faith." But I replied, "Such disclosures and revelation are not granted from heaven; since in proportion as a man knows things to come, in the same proportion his reason and understanding, together with his wisdom and prudence, fall into an indolence of inexertion, grow torpid, and decay."

Again I asked, "What other miracles shall I do?" And a cry was made, "Do such miracles as Moses did in Egypt." To this I answered, "Possibly you may harden your hearts against them as Pharaoh and the Egyptians did."

And reply was made, "We will not." But again I said, "a.s.sure me of a certainty, that you will not dance about a golden calf and adore it, as the posterity of Jacob did within a month after they had seen the whole Mount Sinai on fire, and heard Jehovah himself speaking out of the fire, thus after the greatest of all miracles;" (a golden calf in the spiritual sense denotes the pleasure of the flesh;) and reply was made from below, "We will not be like the posterity of Jacob." But at that instant I heard it said to them from heaven, "If ye believe not Moses and the prophets,--that is, the Word of the Lord, ye will not believe from miracles, any more than the sons of Jacob did in the wilderness, nor any more than they believed when they saw with their own eyes the miracles done by the Lord himself, while he was in the world."

GENERAL INDEX.

PART THE FIRST.

PRELIMINARY RELATIONS RESPECTING THE JOYS OF HEAVEN AND NUPTIALS THERE, n. 1-26.

ON MARRIAGES IN HEAVEN, n. 27-41.

A man lives a man after death, n. 28-31. In this case a male is a male, and a female a female, n. 32, 33. Every one's peculiar love remains with him after death, n. 34-36. The love of the s.e.x especially remains; and with those who go to heaven, which is the case with all who become spiritual here on earth, conjugial love remains, n. 37, 38. These things fully confirmed by ocular demonstration, n. 39. Consequently there are marriages in heaven, n. 40. Spiritual nuptials are to be understood by the Lord's words, "After the resurrection they are not given in marriage," n. 41.

ON THE STATE OF MARRIED PARTNERS AFTER DEATH, n. 45-54.

The love of the s.e.x remains with every man after death, according to its interior quality; that is, such as it had been in his interior will and thought in the world, n. 46, 47. Conjugial love in like manner remains such as it has been anteriorly; that is, such as it had been in the man's interior will and thought in the world, n. 48. Married partners most commonly meet after death, know each other, again a.s.sociate, and for a time live together: this is the case in the first state, thus while they are in externals as in the world, n. 47*. But successively, as they put off their externals and enter into their internals, they perceive what had been the quality of their love and inclination for each other, and consequently whether they can live together or not, n.

48*. If they can live together, they remain married partners; but if they cannot, they separate, sometimes the husband from the wife, sometimes the wife from the husband, and sometimes each from the other, n. 49. In this case there is given to the man a suitable wife, and to the woman a suitable husband, n. 50. Married pairs enjoy similar communications with each other as in the world, but more delightful and blessed, yet without prolification; in the place of which they experience spiritual prolification, which is that of love and wisdom, n.

51, 52. This is the case with those who go to heaven; but it is otherwise with those who go to h.e.l.l, n. 53, 54.

ON LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, n. 57-73.

There exists a love truly conjugial, which at this day is so rare, that it is not known what is its quality, and scarcely that it exists, n. 58, 59. This love originates in the marriage of good and truth, n. 60, 61.

There is a correspondence of this love with the marriage of the Lord and the church, n. 62, 63. This love, from its origin and correspondence, is celestial, spiritual, holy, pure, and clean, above every other love imparted by the Lord to the angels of heaven and the men of the church, n. 64. It is also the foundation love of all celestial and spiritual loves, and thence of all natural loves, n. 65-67. Into this love are collected all joys and delights from first to last, n. 68, 69. None, however, come into this love, and can remain in it, but those who approach the Lord, and love the truths of the church, and practise its goods, n. 70-72. This love was the love of loves with the ancients, who lived in the golden, silver, and copper ages, n. 73.

ON THE ORIGIN OF CONJUGIAL LOVE AS GROUNDED IN THE MARRIAGE OF GOOD AND TRUTH n. 83-102.

Good and truth are the universals of creation, and thence are in all created things; but they are in created subjects according to the form of each, n. 84-86. There is neither solitary good nor solitary truth; but in all cases they are conjoined, n. 87. There is the truth of good, and from this the good of truth; or truth grounded in good, and good grounded in that truth; and in those two principles is implanted from creation an inclination to join themselves together into a one, n. 88, 89. In the subjects of the animal kingdom, the truth of good, or truth grounded in good, is male (or masculine); and the good of that truth, or good grounded in that truth, is female (or feminine), n. 90, 91. From the influx of the marriage of good and truth from the Lord, the love of the s.e.x and conjugial love are derived, n. 92, 93. The love of the s.e.x belongs to the external or natural man; and hence it is common to every animal, n. 94. But conjugial love belongs to the internal or spiritual man; and hence this love is peculiar to man, n. 95, 96. With man conjugial love is in the love of the s.e.x as a gem in its matrix, n. 97.

The love of the s.e.x with man is not the origin of conjugial love, but its first rudiment; thus it is like an external natural principle, in which an internal spiritual principle is implanted, n. 98. During the implantation of conjugial love, the love of the s.e.x inverts itself, and becomes the chaste love of the s.e.x, n. 99. The male and the female were created to be the essential form of the marriage of good and truth, n.

100. Married partners are that form in their inmost principles, and thence in what is derived from those principles, in proportion as the interiors of their minds are opened, n. 101, 102.

ON THE MARRIAGE OF THE LORD AND THE CHURCH, AND ITS CORRESPONDENCE, n.

116-131.

The Lord in the Word is called the Bridegroom and Husband, and the church the bride and wife; and the conjunction of the Lord with the church, and the reciprocal conjunction of the church with the Lord, is called a marriage, n. 117. The Lord is also called a Father, and the church, a mother, n. 118, 119. The offspring derived from the Lord as a husband and father, and from the church as a wife and mother, are all spiritual; and in the spiritual sense of the Word are understood by sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, sons-in-law and daughters-in-law, and by other names of relations, n. 120. The spiritual offspring which are born from the Lord's marriage with the church, are truths and goods; truths, from which are derived understanding, perception, and all thought; and goods, from which are derived love, charity, and all affection, n. 121. From the marriage of good and truth, which proceeds from the Lord in the way of influx, man receives truth, and the Lord conjoins good thereto; and thus the church is formed by the Lord with man, n. 122-124. The husband does not represent the Lord, and the wife the church; because both together, the husband and the wife, const.i.tute the church, n. 125. Therefore there is not a correspondence of the husband with the Lord, and of the wife with the church, in the marriages of the angels in the heavens, and of men on earth, n. 126. But there is a correspondence with conjugial love, semination, prolification, the love of infants, and similar things which exist in marriages and are derived from them, n. 127. The Word is the medium of conjunction, because it is from the Lord, and thereby is the Lord, n. 128. The church is from the Lord, and exists with those who come to him and live according to his precepts, n. 129. Conjugial love is according to the state of the church, because it is according to the state of wisdom with man, n. 130. And as the church is from the Lord, conjugial love is also from him, n. 131.

ON THE CHASTE PRINCIPLE AND THE NON-CHASTE, n. 138-156.

The chaste principle and the non-chaste are predicated only of marriages and of such things as relate to marriages, n. 139, 140. The chaste principle is predicated only of monogamical marriages, or of the marriage of one man with one wife, n. 141. The Christian conjugial principle alone is chaste, n. 142. Love truly conjugial is essential chast.i.ty, n. 143. All the delights of love truly conjugial, even the ultimate, are chaste, n. 144. With those who are made spiritual by the Lord, conjugial love is more and more purified and rendered chaste, n.

145, 146. The chast.i.ty of marriage exists by a total renunciation of wh.o.r.edoms from a principle of religion, n. 147-149. Chast.i.ty cannot be predicated of infants, or of boys and girls, or of young men and maidens before they feel in themselves a love of the s.e.x, n. 150. Chast.i.ty cannot be predicated of eunuchs so made, n. 151. Chast.i.ty cannot be predicated of those who do not believe adulteries to be evils in regard to religion; and still less of those who do not believe them to be hurtful to society, n. 152. Chast.i.ty cannot be predicated of those who abstain from adulteries only for various external reasons, n. 153.

Chast.i.ty cannot be predicated of those who believe marriages to be unchaste, n. 154. Chast.i.ty cannot be predicated of those who have renounced marriage by vows of perpetual celibacy, unless there be and remain in them the love of a life truly conjugial, n. 155. A state of marriage is to be preferred to a state of celibacy, n. 156.

ON THE CONJUNCTION OF SOULS AND MINDS BY MARRIAGE, WHICH IS MEANT BY THE LORD'S WORDS,--THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO BUT ONE FLESH, n. 156*-181.

From creation there is implanted in each s.e.x a faculty and inclination, whereby they are able and willing to be joined together as it were into a one, n. 157. Conjugial love conjoins two souls, and thence two minds, into a one, n. 158. The will of the wife conjoins itself with the understanding of the man, and thence the understanding of the man with the will of the wife, n. 159. The inclination to unite the man to herself is constant and perpetual with the wife, but inconstant and alternate with the man, n. 160. Conjunction is inspired into the man from the wife according to her love, and is received by the man according to his wisdom, n. 161. This conjunction is effected successively from the first days of marriage; and with those who are principled in love truly conjugial, it is effected more and more thoroughly to eternity, n. 162. The conjunction of the wife with the rational wisdom of the husband is effected from within, but with his moral wisdom from without, n. 163-165. For the sake of this conjunction as an end, the wife has a perception of the affections of her husband, and also the utmost prudence in moderating them, n. 166. Wives conceal this perception with themselves, and hide it from their husbands for reasons of necessity, in order that conjugial love, friendship, and confidence, and thereby the blessedness of dwelling together, and the happiness of life may be secured, n. 167. This perception is the wisdom of the wife, and is not communicable to the man; neither is the rational wisdom of the man communicable to the wife, n. 168. The wife from a principle of love is continually thinking about the man's inclination to her, with the purpose of joining him to herself; it is otherwise with the man, n. 169. The wife conjoins herself to the man by applications to the desires of his will, n. 170. The wife is conjoined to her husband by the sphere of her life flowing from the love of him, n. 171. The wife is conjoined to the husband by the appropriation of the powers of his virtue; which however is effected according to their mutual spiritual love, n. 172. Thus the wife receives in herself the image of her husband, and thence perceives, sees, and is sensible of his affections, n. 173. There are duties proper to the husband, and others proper to the wife; and the wife cannot enter into the duties proper to the husband, nor the husband into the duties proper to the wife, so as to perform them aright, n. 174, 175. These duties also, according to mutual aid, conjoin the two into a one, and at the same time const.i.tute one house, n. 176. Married partners, according to these conjunctions, become one man more and more, n. 177. Those who are principled in love truly conjugial, are sensible of their being a united man, as it were one flesh, n. 178. Love truly conjugial, considered in itself, is a union of souls, a conjunction of minds, and an endeavour towards conjunction in the bosoms, and thence in the body, n. 179. The states of this love are innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friendship, full confidence, and a mutual desire of mind and heart to do every good to each other; and the states derived from these are blessedness, satisfaction, delight, and pleasure; and from the eternal enjoyment of these is derived heavenly felicity, n. 180. These things can only exist in the marriage of one man with one wife, n. 181.

ON THE CHANGE OF THE STATE OF LIFE WHICH TAKES PLACE WITH MEN AND WOMEN BY MARRIAGE, n. 184-206

The state of a man's life, from infancy even to the end of his life, and afterwards to eternity, is continually changing, n. 185. In like manner a man's internal form, which is that of his spirit, is continually changing n. 186. These changes differ in the case of men and of women; since men from creation are forms of knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom, and women are forms of the love of those principles as existing with men, n. 187. With men there is an elevation of the mind into superior light, and with women an elevation of the mind into superior heat; and the woman is made sensible of the delights of her heat in the man's light, n. 188, 189. With both men and women, the states of life before marriage are different from what they are afterwards, n. 190.

With married partners the states of life after marriage are changed, and succeed each other according to the conjunctions of their minds by conjugial love, n. 191. Marriage also induces other forms in the souls and minds of married partners, n. 192. The woman is actually formed into a wife, according to the description in the book of creation, n. 193.

This formation is effected on the part of the wife by secret means: and this is meant by the woman's being created while the man slept, n. 194.

This formation on the part of the wife, is effected by the conjunction of her own will with the internal will of the man, n. 195. The end herein is, that the will of both may become one, and that thus both may become one man, n. 196. This formation (on the part of the wife) is effected by an appropriation of the affections of the husband, n. 197.

This formation (on the part of the wife) is effected by a reception of the propagations of the soul of the husband, with the delight arising from her desire to be the love of her husband's wisdom, n. 198. Thus a maiden is formed into a wife, and a youth into a husband, n. 199. In the marriage of one man with one wife, between whom there exists love truly conjugial, the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband, n. 200. Thus also their forms are successively perfected and enn.o.bled from within, n. 201. Children born of parents who are principled in love truly conjugial, derive from them the conjugial principle of good and truth, whence they have an inclination and faculty, if sons, to perceive the things relating to wisdom; and if daughters, to love those things which wisdom teaches, n. 202-205. The reason of this is, because the soul of the offspring is from the father, and its clothing from the mother, n. 206.

UNIVERSALS RESPECTING MARRIAGES, n. 209-230.

The sense proper to conjugial love is the sense of touch, n. 210. With those who are in love truly conjugial, the faculty of growing wise increases; but with those who are not, it decreases, n. 211, 212. With those who are in love truly conjugial, the happiness of dwelling together increases; but with those who are not, it decreases, n. 213.

With those who are in love truly conjugial, conjunction of minds increases, and therewith friendship; but with those who are not, they both decrease, n. 214. Those who are in love truly conjugial, continually desire to be one man; but those who are not in conjugial love, desire to be two, n. 215. Those who are in love truly conjugial, in marriage have respect to what is eternal; but with those who are not, the case is reversed, n. 216. Conjugial love resides with chaste wives; but still their love depends on the husbands, n. 216*. Wives love the bonds of marriage, if the men do, n. 217. The intelligence of women is in itself modest, elegant, pacific, yielding, soft, tender; but the intelligence of men is in itself grave, harsh, hard, daring, fond of licentiousness, n. 218. Wives are in no excitation as men are; but they have a state of preparation for reception, n. 219. Men have abundant store according to the love of propagating the truths of wisdom, and to the love of doing uses, n. 220. Determination is in the good pleasure of the husband, n. 221. The conjugial sphere flows from the Lord through heaven into everything in the universe, even to its ultimates, n. 222.

This sphere is received by the female s.e.x, and through that is transferred to the male s.e.x, n. 223. Where there is love truly conjugial, this sphere is received by the wife, and only through her by the husband, n. 224. Where there is love not conjugial, this sphere is received indeed by the wife, but not by the husband through her, n. 225.

Love truly conjugial may exist with one of the married partners, and not at the same time with the other, n. 226. There are various similitudes and dissimilitudes, both internal and external, with married partners, n. 227. Various similitudes can be conjoined, but not with dissimilitudes, n. 228. The Lord provides similitudes for those who desire love truly conjugial, and if not on earth he yet provides them in heaven, n. 229. A man, according to the deficiency and loss of conjugial love, approaches to the nature of a beast, n. 230.

ON THE CAUSES OF COLDNESS, SEPARATION, AND DIVORCE IN MARRIAGES, n.

234-260.

There are spiritual heat and spiritual cold; and spiritual heat is love, and spiritual cold is the privation thereof, n. 235. Spiritual cold in marriages is a disunion of souls and a disjunction of minds, whence come indifference, discord, contempt, disdain, and aversion; from which, in several cases, at length comes separation as to bed, chamber, and house, n. 236. There are several successive causes of cold, some internal, some external, and some accidental, n. 237. Internal causes of cold are from religion, n. 238, 239. Of internal causes of cold the first is the rejection of religion by each of the parties, n. 240. Of internal causes of cold the second is that one of the parties has religion and not the other, n. 241. Of internal causes of cold the third is, that one of the parties is of one religion and the other of another, n. 242. Of internal causes of cold the fourth is, the falsity of the religion, n. 243. With many, the above-mentioned are causes of internal cold, but not at the same time of external, n. 244, 245. There are also several external causes of cold, the first of which is dissimilitude of minds and manner, n. 246. Of external causes of cold the second is, that conjugial love is believed to be the same as adulterous love, only that the latter is not allowed by law, but the former is, n. 247. Of external causes of cold the third is, a striving for preeminence between married partners, n.

248. Of external causes of cold the fourth is, a want of determination to any employment or business, whence comes wandering pa.s.sion, n. 249.

Of external causes of cold the fifth is, inequality of external rank and condition, n. 250. There are also causes of separation, n. 251. The first cause of legitimate separation is a vitiated state of mind, n.

252. The second cause of legitimate separation is a vitiated state of body, n. 253. The third cause of legitimate separation is impotence before marriage, n. 254. Adultery is the cause of divorce, n. 255. There are also several accidental causes of cold; the first of which is, that enjoyment is common (or cheap), because continually allowed, n. 256. Of accidental causes of cold the second is, that living with a married partner, from a covenant and contract, seems forced and not free, n.

257. Of accidental causes of cold the third is, affirmation on the part of the wife, and her talking incessantly about love, n. 258. Of accidental causes of cold the fourth is, the man's continually thinking that his wife is willing, and on the other hand, the wife's thinking that the man is not willing, n. 259. As cold is in the mind, it is also in the body; and according to the increase of that cold, the externals also of the body are closed, n. 260.

ON THE CAUSES OF APPARENT LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, AND FAVOR IN MARRIAGES, n.

271-292.

In the natural world almost all are capable of being joined together as to external, but not as to internal affections, if these disagree and are apparent, n. 272. In the spiritual world all are conjoined according to internal, but not according to external affections, unless these act in unity with the internal, n. 273. It is the external affections, according to which matrimony is generally contracted in the world, n.

274. But in case they are not influenced by internal affections which conjoin minds, the bonds of matrimony are loosed in the house, n. 275.

Nevertheless those bonds must continue in the world till the decease of one of the parties, n. 276. In cases of matrimony, in which the internal affections do not conjoin, there are external affections, which a.s.sume a semblance of the internal, and tend to consociate, n. 277. Thence come apparent love, friendship, and favor between married partners, n. 278.

These appearances are a.s.sumed conjugial semblances, and they are commendable, because useful and necessary, n. 279. These a.s.sumed conjugial semblances, in the case of a spiritual man conjoined to a natural, are founded in justice and judgement, n. 280. For various reasons, these a.s.sumed conjugial semblances with natural men are founded in prudence, n. 281. They are for the sake of amendment and accommodation, n. 282. They are for the sake of preserving order in domestic affairs, and for the sake of mutual aid, n. 283. They are for the sake of unanimity in the care of infants and the education of children, n. 284. They are for the sake of peace in the house, n. 285.

They are for the sake of reputation out of the house, n. 286. They are for the sake of various favors expected from the married partner, or from his or her relations, and thus from the fear of losing such favors, n. 287. They are for the sake of having blemishes excused, and thereby of avoiding disgrace, n. 288. They are for the sake of reconciliations, n. 289. In case favor does not cease with the wife, when faculty ceases with the man, there may exist a friendship resembling conjugial friendship when the parties grow old, n. 290. There are various species of apparent love and friendship between married partners, one of whom is brought under the yoke, and therefore is subject to the other, n. 291.

In the world there are infernal marriages between persons who interiorly are the most inveterate enemies, and exteriorly are as the closest friends, n. 292.

ON BETROTHINGS AND NUPTIALS, n. 295-314.

The right of choice belongs to the man, and not to the woman, n. 296.

The man ought to court and intreat the woman respecting marriage with him, and not the woman the man, n. 297. The woman ought to consult her parents, or those who are in the place of parents, and then deliberate with herself before she consents, n. 298, 299. After a declaration of consent, pledges are to be given, n. 300. Consent is to be secured and established by solemn betrothing, n. 301. By betrothing, each party is prepared for conjugial love, n. 302. By betrothing, the mind of the one is united to the mind of the other, so as to effect a marriage of the spirit previous to a marriage of the body, n. 303. This is the case with those who think chastely of marriages; but it is otherwise with those who think unchastely of them, n. 304. Within the time of betrothing it is not allowable to be connected corporeally, n. 305. When the time of betrothing is completed, the nuptials ought to take place, n. 306.

Previous to the celebration of the nuptials, the conjugial covenant is to be ratified in the presence of witnesses, n. 307. Marriage is to be consecrated by a priest, n. 308. The nuptials are to be celebrated with festivity, n. 309. After the nuptials, the marriage of the spirit is made also the marriage of the body, and thereby a full marriage, n. 310.

Such is the order of conjugial love with its modes, from its first heat to its first torch, n. 311. Conjugial love precipitated without order and the modes thereof, burns up the marrows, and is consumed, n. 312.

The states of the minds of each of the parties proceeding in successive order, flow into the state of marriage; nevertheless in one manner with the spiritual and in another with the natural, n. 313. There are successive and simultaneous order, and the latter is from the former and according to it, n. 314.

ON REPEATED MARRIAGES, n. 317-355.

After the death of a married partner, again to contract wedlock, depends on the preceding conjugial love, n. 318. After the death of a married partner, again to contract wedlock, depends also on the state of marriage in which the parties had lived, n. 319. With those who have not been in love truly conjugial, there is no obstacle or hindrance to their again contracting wedlock, n. 320. Those who had lived together in love truly conjugial, are unwilling to marry again, except for reasons separate from conjugial love, n. 321. The state of a marriage of a youth with a maiden differs from that of a youth with a widow, n. 322. Also the state of marriage of a widower with a maiden differs from that of a widower with a widow, n. 323. The varieties and diversities of these marriages, as to love and its attributes, are innumerable, n. 324. The state of a widow is more grievous that that of a widower n. 325.

ON POLYGAMY, n. 332-352.