The Deipnosophists, or Banquet of the Learned of Athenaeus Part 46

But to me may there be, according to the words of the comic poet Diphilus, which he uses in his Peliades--

_A._ A flowery supper very sumptuous, A bowl quite full of pulse for every man.

_B._ That first part is not flowery.

_A._ After that Let a saperdes dance into the middle, A little strong to smell.

_B._ That is a flower Which soon will drive the thrushes all away.

And as a great laugh arose, immediately that spoon of the theatre Melissa came in, and that dogfly Nicium, each of them being a courtesan of no small renown: and so they, looking on what was set upon the table and admiring it, laughed. And Nicium said,--Is not there one of all you men so proud of your beards that eats fish? Is it because your ancestor Meleager the Gadarean, in his poem ent.i.tled the Graces, said that Homer, being a Syrian by birth, represented the ancients as abstaining from fish in accordance with the custom of his own country, although there was a great abundance of them in the h.e.l.lespont? Or have you ever read that one treatise of his which embraces a comparison between peas and lentils? for I see that you have made a great preparation of lentils.

And when I see it, I should advise you, according to the rules of Antisthenes the pupil of Socrates, to relieve yourselves of life if you stick to such food as this. And Carneus replied to her--Euxitheus the Pythagorean, O Nicium, as Clearchus the Peripatetic tells us, in the second book of his Lives, said that the souls of all men were bound in the body, and in the life which is on earth, for the sake of punishment; and that G.o.d has issued an edict that if they do not remain there until he voluntarily releases them himself, they shall fall into more numerous and more important calamities. On which account all men, being afraid of those threatenings of the G.o.ds, fear to depart from life by their own act, but only gladly welcome death when he comes in old age, trusting that that deliverance of the soul then takes place with the full consent of those who have the power to sanction it. And this doctrine we ourselves believe. But I have no objection, replied she, to your selecting one of three evils, if you please. For do you not know, O wretched men, that these heavy kinds of food shut in the dominant principle of the soul, and do not allow wisdom to exist unimpaired in it?

46. Accordingly Theopompus, in the fifth book of his History of the Actions of Philip, says--"For to eat much, and to eat meat, takes away the reasoning powers, and makes the intellect slower, and fills a man with anger, and harshness, and all sorts of folly." And the admirable Xenophon says, that it is sweet to a hungry man to eat barley-cakes and cardamums, and sweet to a thirsty man to draw water out of the river and drink it. But Socrates was often caught walking in the depth of evening up and down before his house; and to those who asked him what he was doing there, he used to reply that he was getting a relish for supper.

But we shall be satisfied with whatever portion we receive from you, and we are not angry as if we received less than we ought, like the Hercules in Anticlides. For he says, in the second book of his Returns--"After Hercules had accomplished his labours, when Eurystheus was solemnizing some sacrificial feast, he also was invited. And when the sons of Eurystheus were setting before each one of the company his proper portion, but placing a meaner one before Hercules, Hercules, thinking that he was being treated with indignity, slew three of the sons, Perimedes, Eurybius, and Eurypylus." But we are not so irascible, even though in all other points we are imitators of Hercules.

47.

For lentils are a tragic food,

said Archagathus . . . . to have written; which also

Orestes ate when he had recover'd from his sickness,

as Sophilus the comic writer says. But it is a Stoic doctrine, that the wise man will do everything well, and will be able to cook even lentils cleverly. On which account Timon the Phliasian said--

And a man who knows not how to cook a lentil wisely.

As if a lentil could not be boiled in any other way except according to the precepts of Zeno, who said--

Add to the lentils a twelfth part of coriander.

And Crates the Theban said--

Do not prefer a dainty dish to lentils, And so cause factious quarrels in our party.

And Chrysippus, in his treatise on the Beautiful, quoting some apophthegms to us, says--

Eat not an olive when you have a nettle; But take in winter lentil-macaroni-- Bah! bah!

Lentil-macaroni's like ambrosia in cold weather.

And the witty Aristophanes said, in his Gerytades--

You're teaching him to boil porridge or lentils.

And, in his Amphiaraus--

You who revile the lentil, best of food.

And Epicharmus says, in his Dionysi--

And then a dish of lentils was boil'd up.

And Antiphanes says, in his Women like one another--

Things go on well. Do you now boil some lentils, Or else at least now teach me who you are.

And I know that a sister of Ulysses, the most prudent and wisest of men, was called Fa?? (lentil), the same whom some other writers call Callisto, as Mnaseas of Patra relates, in the third book of his History of the Affairs of Europe, and as Lysimachus also tells us, in the third book of his Returns.

48. And when Plutarch had burst into a violent fit of laughter at this, the Cynic, who could not endure to have his extensive learning on the subject of lentils disregarded, said--"But all you fine gentlemen from Alexandria, O Plutarch, are fed from your childhood on lentils; and your whole city is full of things made of lentils: which are mentioned by Sopater the lentil parodist, in his drama ent.i.tled Bacchis, where he speaks as follows:--

I could not bear to eat a common loaf, Seeing a large high brazen pile of lentils.

For, what is there of which mortals have need, (according to your own idol, Euripides, O you most learned of men,) except two things only,

The corn of Ceres and a draught of water?

And they are here, and able to support us.

But we are not with plenty such as this Contented, but are slaves to luxury And such contrivances of other food.

And in another place that dramatic philosopher says--

The moderate fare shall me content Of a plain modest table; And I will never seek nor e'en admit Whatever is out of season and superfluous.

And Socrates said that he differed from other men in this, that they lived that they might eat, but he ate that he might live. And Diogenes said to those who accused him of scratching himself,--I wish I could scratch my stomach, so as to rub all poverty and want out of it. And Euripides, in his Suppliant Women, says of Capaneus--

This man is Capaneus, a man who had Abundant riches, but no pride therefrom Lodged in his, more than in a poor man's bosom.

But those who boasted of their luxury He blamed, and praised the contented spirit.

For virtue did not, as he said, consist In eating richly, but in moderation.

49. Capaneus was not, as it seems, such as the honest Chrysippus describes, in his treatise On those things which are not eligible for their own sakes. For he speaks in this manner:--"Some men apply themselves with such eagerness to the pursuit of money, that it is even related, that a man once, when near his end, swallowed a number of pieces of gold, and so died. Another person sewed a quant.i.ty of money into a tunic, and put it on, and then ordered his servants to bury him in that dress, neither burning his body, nor stripping it and laying it out." For these men and all like them may almost be said, as they die, to cry out--

Oh gold, the choicest of all gifts to men!

For no fond mother does such raptures know, Nor children in the house, nor any father, Such as do flow from you, and are enjoy'd By those who own you. If like yours the face Of Venus, when she rose up from the sea, No wonder that she has ten thousand lovers.

Such great thirst for money was there among the men of that time, concerning which Anacharsis, when some one asked him what the Greeks used money for? said, To count with. But Diogenes, in his treatise on Polity, proposed to establish a law that bits of bone should be taken as coins; and well too has Euripides said--

Speak not of wealth; that G.o.d I worship not, Who comes with ease into a bad man's power.

And Chrysippus, in his elementary work, which is ent.i.tled, A Treatise on Good and Evil Things, says that "a certain young man from Ionia came to sojourn at Athens, clothed in a purple robe having golden fringes; and when some one asked of him what countryman he was, he replied that he was rich. And, perhaps, it may be the very same person whom Alexis mentions in his Thebans, where he says--

_A._ But from what country does this person come?

_B._ From Richland; and by general consent The natives of that land are counted n.o.ble; Nor can one find a n.o.ble beggar anywhere.

50. When Cynulcus had said this, and when no one applauded him, he got out of temper; and said,--But since these men, O you master of the feast, are made so uncomfortable by a diarrha of words as to feel no hunger; or perhaps, it may be that they laugh at what is said about lentils, (having in their mind what is said by Pherecrates, in his Coriander--

_A._ Come now, I'll sit me down; and bring me here, O slave, a table, and a cup of wine, That I may eat to flavour what I drink.

_B._ Here is a cup, a table, and some lentils.