The Deipnosophists, or Banquet of the Learned of Athenaeus Part 31

And Pherecrates also speaks of boiled feet, in his Slave-master--

_A._ Tell us, I pray you now then, how the supper Will be prepared.

_B._ Undoubtedly I will.

In the first place, a dish of well-minced eel; Then cuttle-fish, and lamb, a slice of rich Well-made black pudding; then some pig's feet boil'd; Some liver, and a loin of mutton, And a mighty number of small birds; and cheese In honey steep'd, and many a slice of meat.

And Antiphanes says, in his Parasite--

_A._ The well-warm'd legs of pigs.

_B._ A n.o.ble dish, I swear by Vesta.

_A._ Then some boiled cheese Bubbled upon the board.

And Ecphantides says, in his Satyrs--

It is no great hardship, if it must be so, To buy and eat the boil'd feet of a pig.

And Aristophanes speaks of tongue as a dish, in his Tryers, in the following words--

I've had anchovies quite enough; for I Am stretch'd almost to bursting while I eat Such rich and luscious food. But bring me something Which shall take off the taste of all these dainties.

Bring me some liver, or a good large slice Of a young goat. And if you can't get that, Let me at least have a rib or a tongue, Or else the spleen, or entrails, or the tripe Of a young porker in last autumn born; And with it some hot rolls.

50. Now when all this conversation had taken place on these subjects, the physicians who were present would not depart without taking their share in it. For Dionysiocles said, Mnesitheus the Athenian, in his book about Comestibles, has said, "The head and feet of a pig have not a great deal in them which is rich and nutritious." And Leonidas writes, "Demon, in the fourth book of his Attica, says that Thymtes, his younger brother, slew Apheidas, who was king of Athens, he himself being a b.a.s.t.a.r.d, and usurped the kingdom. And in his time, Melanthus the Messenian was banished from his country, and consulted the Pythia as to where he should dwell: and she said wherever he was first honoured by gifts of hospitality, when men set before him feet and a head for supper. And this happened to him at Eleusis; for as the priestesses happened at the time to be solemnizing one of their national festivals, and to have consumed all the meat, and as nothing but the head and feet of the victim were left, they sent them to Melanthius.

51. Then a paunch[161:1] was brought in, which may be looked upon as a sort of metropolis, and the mother of the sons of Hippocrates, whom I know to have been turned into ridicule by the comic poets on account of their swinish disposition. And Ulpian, looking upon it, said,--Come now, my friends, whom does the paunch lie with? For we have now been minding the belly long enough, and it is time for us now to have some real conversation. And as for these cynics, I bid them be silent, now that they have eaten abundantly, unless they like to gnaw some of the cheeks, and heads, and bones, which no one will grudge their enjoying like dogs, as they are; for that is what they are, and what they are proud of being called.

The remnants to the dogs they're wont to throw,

Euripides says, in his Cretan Women. For they wish to eat and drink everything, never considering what the divine Plato says in his Protagoras, "That disputing about poetry, is like banquets of low and insignificant persons. For they, because they are unable in their drinking parties to amuse one another by their own talents, and by their own voices and conversation, by reason of their ignorance and stupidity, make female flute-players of great consequence, hiring at a high price sounds which they cannot utter themselves, I mean the music of flutes, and by means of this music they are able to get on with one another. But where the guests are gentlemanly, and accomplished, and well educated, you will not see any flute-playing women, or dancing women, or female harpers, but they are able themselves to pa.s.s the time with one another agreeably, without all this nonsense and trifling, by means of their own voices, speaking and hearing one another in turn with all decency, even if they drink a great deal of wine." And this is what all you Cynics do, O Cynulcus; you drink, or rather you get drunk, and then, like flute-players and dancing-women, you prevent all the pleasure of conversation: "living," to use the words of the same Plato, which he utters in his Philebus, "not the life of a man, but of some mollusk, or of some other marine animal which has life in a sh.e.l.l-encased body."

52. And Cynulcus, being very angry, said,--You glutton of a man, whose G.o.d is your belly, you know nothing else yourself, nor are you able to keep up an uninterrupted conversation, nor to recollect any history, nor to begin anything which may tend to throw a charm on any discussion. But you have been wasting all the time with questions of this sort, "Is there such and such a statement? Is there not? Has such and such a thing been said? Has it not been said?" And you attack and examine closely everything which occurs in anything which is said, collecting all your thorns--living continually

As if among thistles, or plants of rough borage--

never collecting any sweet flowers. Are you not the person who call that which is called by the Romans _strena_, being so named in accordance with some national tradition, and which is accustomed to be given to friends, _epinomis_? And if you do this in imitation of Plato, we should be glad to learn it; but if you find that any one of the ancients has ever spoken in such a manner, tell us who it is who has. For I know that there is some part of a trireme which is called epinomis, as Apollonius states in his treatise on what relates to Triremes. Are not you the man who called your new stout cloak, which had never yet been used by you, (for the proper name of it, my friend, is really fa??????,) useless?

saying--"My slave Leucus, give me that useless cloak." And once going to the bath, did not you say to a man who asked you, Whither now? I am going, said you, ?p????e??? (p.r.o.nouncing the word as if it meant _to kill yourself_ rather than _to bathe_). And that very day your beautiful garment was purloined from you by some bath robbers; so that there was great laughter in the bath, at this useless cloak being hunted for. At another time too, O my dear friends; (for the plain truth shall be told you,) he tripped against a stone and dislocated his knees. And when he was cured he again came into public: and when men asked him, What is the matter, O Ulpian? he said it was a black eye. And I (for I was with him at the time) being then unable to restrain my laughter, got anointed under the eyes with some thick ointment by a physician who was a friend of mine, and then said to those who asked me, What is the matter with you, that I had hurt my leg.

53. There is also another imitator of the same wisdom, Pompeia.n.u.s the Philadelphian; a man not dest.i.tute of shrewdness, but still a terrible wordcatcher: and he, conversing with his servant, calling him by name with a loud voice, said--"Strombichides, bring me to the gymnasium those intolerable slippers (he used the word ?f???t???, intending it to mean _what he had never worn_) and my useless (he used the word ????st??, by which he meant _which he had never used_) cloak. For I, as soon as I have bound up my beard, shall address my friends. For I have got some roast fish. And bring me a cruet of oil. For first of all we will be crushed (he used the word s??t???s?e???, meaning to say _we will rub ourselves well_), and then we will be utterly destroyed (his word was ?p????e???, and he meant to say _we will have a bath_)." And this same sophist, in the month of February, as the Romans call it, (and Juba the Mauritanian says that this month has its name[163:1] from the terrors caused by the spirits under the earth, and from the means used to get rid of those fears, at which season the greatest severity of winter occurs, and it is the custom of them to offer libations for many days to those who are dead:) in the month of February, I say, he said to one of his friends--"It is a long time since you have seen me, because of the heat." And when the festival of the Panathenaea was being celebrated, during which the courts of justice do not a.s.semble, he said--"This is the birthday of the virgin G.o.ddess Minerva," (but he p.r.o.nounced the word ????t????, as if he had meant _of the c.o.c.k of Minerva_,) "and this day is unjust," (for he called it ?d????, though he meant the word to have the sense of being _a holiday for the courts of law_). And once he called a companion of ours who came back from Delphi without having received an answer from the G.o.d, ????st??, (which never means anything but _useless_, but he used the word for _unanswered_). And once when he was making a public display of his eloquence, and going through a long panegyric on the Queen of cities, he said, Most admirable is the Roman dominion, and ???p?stat?? (he meant _irresistible_).[164:1]

54. Such now, my friends, are Ulpian's companions, the sophists; men who call even the thing which the Romans call miliarium, that is to say, a vessel designed to prepare boiling water in, ?p??????, an oven-kettle; being manufacturers of many names, and far outrunning by many parasangs the Sicilian Dionysius: who called a virgin ??a?d??? (from ??? and ????), because she is waiting for a husband; and a pillar e?e???t?? (from ??? and ???t??), because it remains and is strong. And a javelin he called a????t???, because (??t??? ???eta?) it is thrown against something; and mouse-holes he called ?st???a, mysteries, (from t??e?? t??? ??) because they keep the mice. And Athanis, in the first book of his History of the Affairs of Sicily, says that the same Dionysius gave an ox the name of ?a??ta?; and a pig he called ?a????. And Alexarchus was a man of the same sort, the brother of Ca.s.sander, who was king of Macedonia, who built the city called Uranopolis. And Heraclides Lembus speaks concerning him in the seventh book of his Histories, and says; "Alexarchus, who founded the city Uranopolis, imported many peculiar words and forms of speaking into the language: calling a c.o.c.k ??????a?, or _he that crows in the morn_; and a barber ??t????t??, or _one who cuts men_; and a drachm he called ???????, _a piece of silver_; and a chnix he called ?e??t??f??, _what feeds a man for a day_; and a herald he called ?p?t??, _a bawler_. And once he wrote a letter to the magistrates of the Ca.s.sandrians in this form:[164:2]--????a???? ? ???? p????? ?a?e??. t??? ??????e?? ???? ??da ??p??sa ?e?t??

????? ??at?t??a? ??s?? t??? ?e??????a? ?e?? p??a?? ??t??sa?te? a?t???, ?a? f??a?a?

??????e??." But what that letter means I think that even the Pythian Apollo himself could hardly tell. For, as Antiphanes says, in his Cleophanes,--

What is it then to be a tyrant, (or What would you call pursuing serious things,) In the Lyceum with the sophists; by Jove, They are but thin and hungry joyless men.

And say the thing does not exist if now It is produced; for that is not as yet, Nor can already be produced, which now Is caused afresh. Nor if it did exist Before, can it be now made to exist.

For there is nothing which has no existence.

And that which never yet has taken place, Is not as if it had, since it has not.

For it exists from its existence; but If there is no existence, what is there From which it can exist? The thing's impossible.

And if it's self-existent, it will not Exist again. And one perhaps may say, Let be; whence now can that which has no being Exist, what can become of it? What all this means I say that e'en Apollo's self can't tell.

55. I know too that Simonides the poet, somewhere or other, has called Jupiter ???sta????, (meaning ???st?? ?????, _best of rulers_;) and aeschylus calls Pluto ???s??a??, (from ??e?? t?? ?a??, _collecting the people_;) and Nicander the Colophonian called the asp, the animal, ????a??a, _poisonous_, (from ??s, _poison_, and ???, _to emit_; though the word is usually applied to Diana in the sense of shooting arrows, because ??s also means an arrow.)

And it is on account of these tricks and others like them that the divine Plato, in his Politics, after having said that some animals live on the dry land, and others in the water, and also, that there are some cla.s.ses which are fed on dry food, others on moist food, and others which graze, giving the names of ????at??? and ????at???, and again, of ????t??f???, ????t??f??? and ????????? to the different kinds of animals, according as they live on the land, or in the water, or in the air--adds, by way of exhortation to those manufacturers of names to guard against novelty, the following sentence, word for word:--"And if you take care not to appear too anxious in making new names you will continue to old age with a greater reputation for prudence." But I know that Herodes Atticus, a rhetorician, named the piece of wood which was put through his wheels when he was going in his chariot down steep places, t????p?d??, (as _a fetter to the wheels_.) Although Simaristus, in his Synonymes, had already given this piece of wood the name of ?p???e??, or _the drag_. And Sophocles the poet, in some one of his works, called a guardian _a bolt_, saying--

Be of good cheer, I am a mighty bolt To keep this fear away from you.

And, in another place, he has given an anchor the name of ?s??? or _the holder_, because it ?at??e?, _holds_ the ship--

And the sailors let out the holder of the ship.

And Demades the orator said that aegina was the "eyesore of the Peiraeus,"

and that Samos was "a fragment broken off from the city." And he called the young men "the spring of the people;" and the wall he called "the garment of the city;" and a trumpeter he ent.i.tled "the common c.o.c.k of the Athenians." But this word-hunting sophist used all sorts of far more far-fetched expressions. And whence, O Ulpian, did it occur to you to use the word ?e???tas???? for satiated, when ????? is the proper verb for that meaning, and ???t??? means to feed?

56. In reply to this Ulpian said with a cheerful laugh,--But do not bark at me, my friend, and do not be savage with me, putting on a sort of hydrophobia, especially now that this is the season of the dog-days. You ought rather to fawn upon and be gentle towards your messmates, lest we should inst.i.tute a festival for dog killing, in the place of that one which is celebrated by the Argives. For, my most sagacious gentleman, ???t???a? is used by Cratinus in his Ulysses in this way:--

You were all day glutting yourselves with white milk.

And Menander, in his Trophonius, uses the word ???tas?e?? in the same sense. And Aristophanes says in his Gerytades--

Obey us now, and glut us with your melodies.

And Sophocles in his Tyro has--

And we received him with all things which satisfy (p?????ta).

And Eubulus in his Dolon--

I, O men, have now been well satisfied (?e???tasa?), And I am quite well filled; so that I could With all my energy but just contrive To fasten on my sandals.

And Sophilus says in his Phylarchus--

There will be an abundant deal of eating.

I see the prelude to it;--I shall surely be Most fully satisfied; indeed, my men, I swear by Bacchus I feel proud already.

And Amphis says in his Ura.n.u.s--

Sating herself till eve with every dainty.

Now these statements, O Cynulcus, I am able to produce without any preparation; but to-morrow, or the day after, for that (???) is the name which Hesiod gave to the third day, I will satiate you with blows, if you do not tell me in whose works the word ??????da???, _Belly-G.o.d_, is to be found. And as he made no answer,--But, indeed, I myself will tell you this, O Cynic, that Eupolis called flatterers this, in his play of the same name. But I will postpone any proof of this statement until I have paid you the blows I owe you.

57. And so when every one had been well amused by these jokes,--But, said Ulpian, I will also give you now the statement about paunches which I promised you. For Alexis, in his play which is ent.i.tled Ponticus, jesting in a comic manner, says that Callimedon the orator, who was surnamed the Crab (and he was one of those who took part in the affairs of the state in the time of Demosthenes the orator)--

Every one is willing to die for his country (p?t?a?): And for a boiled paunch (?t?a?) Callimedon, The dauntless crab, would very probably Dare to encounter death.

And Callimedon was a man very notorious for his fondness for dainties.

And Antiphanes also speaks of paunches in his Philometor, using these words--