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Her body trembled as she tried to stand, but Rick grabbed her arm and pulled her back into the booth.
"I want to know if Tank has been bothering you," Rick demanded. "I'll kill that b.a.s.t.a.r.d if he ever lays a hand on you!"
Her face drawn in anger, Ann tried to collect herself. "I told you where I was. Now please, I don't feel good, and I just want to go home."
"I'm sorry," Rick said, releasing her. "I just wanted to talk to you. I'll walk you home."
They headed up Main Street for the pedestrian bridge over the rail yard that led to the old apartment house where Ann still lived. Walking past Carnes' barn stirred thoughts of a future she had dreamed of with Rick, but now knew it would never happen. Why did things have to get so complicated? Everything had changed now she thought. Their lives would never be the same again and Rick would never know why.
"I'm really excited about us going to college together next year," Rick said, trying to cheer Ann up. "Applications have to be in right after Christmas break. I'll pick you up during the break and we can fill them out together at my house. I can't wait to get you away from Tank Johnson and Bankstowne High next year. Our lives will be perfect together without him around." Rick talked on as they climbed the stairs to Ann's apartment.
Ann stopped at her door. Her hands shook so badly she had difficulty getting the key into the lock. She didn't open the door and invite Rick in. Instead she turned with her back against the door and confronted Rick.
"Are you kidding? My parents don't have money for me to go to college. My daddy thinks the only role for women in this world is cooking for men and having their babies," Ann snapped.
Baffled by her sudden change of att.i.tude, Rick tried to rea.s.sure her. "You can get scholarships. I know you can. You have the best grades in the cla.s.s, but you have to apply. They don't just give them away. How do you think I can afford it?" Rick asked. "My parents lived through the Depression too, and they think getting a job at the Coastline Shops is more important than going to college. They don't think being a writer is a real job. My experience as editor of the Railroader is going to get me a scholarship right here at Cannon College. Commuting together will be fun, almost like being married." Rick looked for a reaction but nothing came. "You'll make a great teacher. You're good with kids, and they give out lots of scholarships to prospective teachers at Cannon every year. We could have a great life together."
"Good for you," Ann said. "I'm glad you have it all figured out. You live in a normal family, but I have to stay here to help take care of my mother and protect Jo Lee from my drunken father. His drinking is getting worse, and I think my mother's sick. But she's scared to tell him, and now . . ." Ann couldn't continue, breaking into uncontrollable sobs. She pulled open the door and slipped inside, slamming the door behind her.
"I won't leave until you come back and tell me what's going on," Rick said as he pounded on the Nestlebaum's door.
Ann ran past her mother to the bedroom she shared with Jo Lee and buried her face in her pillow.
Alice ignored Rick's shouting and pounding on the door and followed her upset daughter into the bedroom. "Ann, what in the world is the matter, and why is Rick beating on our door? Did you two have a fight?"
Ann mumbled some words but was sobbing too hard to be understood.
Alice sat on the side of her bed, drew her daughter to her, and held her tight like she did when Ann was a baby.
"He raped me, momma. He raped me!" Ann blurted out. "I'm so ashamed. He was so strong I couldn't fight him off!" She pulled away from her mother and collapsed on her bed, sobbing.
Alice was on her feet instantly. "I'll call right now and speak to his mother before your father gets home. He'll kill Rick if he finds out."
"Not Rick. It was Tank Johnson!" she screamed. "That b.a.s.t.a.r.d forced himself on me then laughed and said to tell Rick, 'Not bad for white trash.'" Her body heaved with uncontrollable sobs.
Alice tried to console her devastated daughter but couldn't offer anything beyond her gentle touch. "We can't tell the police or let your father know about this. Sam Johnson is head of the Coastline Shops. He would fire Red if we accuse Tank. The police won't do anything. It would just be your word against his," Alice argued aloud with herself. She pulled Ann up by her shoulders, looked straight into her tear-swollen eyes, and spoke deliberately. "Listen to me. We can't tell anybody about this. It's got to be our secret. You're strong. I know you can do it. Tank will graduate in the spring and be out of our lives for good. You just have to go to school and act like nothing happened, you hear me? Just like nothing happened."
Alice turned away and grabbed her side in pain, trying to hide it from Ann. She stood up and calmly walked toward the door. "Go in the bathroom and get yourself cleaned up before your father gets home," she said and left the room as if nothing had happened.
Dazed by her mother's inability to deal with her trauma, Ann locked herself in their freezing cold bathroom. She ran nothing but hot water until steam filled the room. Her skin glowed bright red from heavy scrubbing, but she couldn't wash away the feeling of Tank's sweaty body pressed against her. Gone was the warm feeling inside she always had when she thought about this being the same tub Rick had taken long soaking baths in. Her fantasy of them sneaking in after everyone was asleep to make love in this bathtub had been brutally shattered.
"You gonna be in there all night?" Red shouted from outside the bathroom door. "I got a ton of grime to wash off before supper." Red's pounding on the door shocked Ann back to reality. She had to resume her life as if nothing had happened to avoid Rick's suspicions. How was she going to live with the lie?
"I'll be out in a minute, Daddy. Sorry to take so long," Ann answered. Her body shook as if the scalding water had turned to ice. She quickly pulled on her bathrobe.
She avoided her father's eyes when she entered their apartment through the kitchen door and stood next to the old cook stove to warm herself.
"It looks like our little girl is all grown up, Momma," Red said. He ogled Ann's figure through her threadbare bathrobe, for the first time sober enough to recognize her transformation into a young woman. "No wonder that Barnes boy is always sniffing around like a hound dog." He stood and went to the door. "You better have saved me some hot water."
"You go on," Alice whispered after Red had gone into the bathroom. "I'll tell your daddy you aren't feeling well and went to bed early without supper. Go on now, do your homework and go to bed."
After supper, Red followed his routine of drinking a bottle of cheap Wild Turkey bourbon and was snoring on the couch before Alice had cleaned up supper dishes.
Alice snuck into the girl's bedroom to check on Ann. She'd fixed a sandwich and a gla.s.s of milk. Jo Lee was busy doing homework at a desk the girls shared.
Quickly, before Alice could speak, Ann asked, "Momma, do you think Daddy would sign papers for me to apply to Cannon College?"
Alice's eyes narrowed. She spoke through clinched teeth. "And just how do you think we can afford that, young lady?"
"I can get a scholarship. Mrs. Tichenor, my English teacher, said my grades were good enough and she would write a letter of recommendation for me."
"So you think you can just run off to college and leave Jo Lee and me here? I need you here to help me. I can't handle your daddy anymore, and I don't want him going after Jo Lee when he gets drunk."
Jo Lee didn't look up from her homework, but Ann could tell she was listening carefully to every word. Alice shrugged. "If he says he'll sign it, then I guess you can go if you get that scholarship," she said knowing full well Red would never sign for her to go to college.
"Thank you, Momma. Do I have to go to school tomorrow? I'm really tired and just want to sleep."
"We'll see in the morning. Now, get to bed before your daddy wakes up and wants to know what's the matter with you."
Rick strained to keep his voice to a whisper in the library where they had study hall. "Ann, I'm worried about the way you've been missing school and avoiding me these last few weeks. Please tell me what the heck is wrong. Is it something I've done? I'll do whatever it takes to get us back to the way we were, just don't keep shutting me out. I'll come over during Christmas break so we can talk this out, okay?"
"It's nothing you can fix. I'm sorry if I've hurt you and wish things could be different." At the sound of the bell ending third period, Ann rushed into the crowded hallway before Rick could see her tears.
She ducked into the girl's bathroom seconds before throwing up. Missing her period wasn't something Ann could talk to her mother about and she didn't have any close girlfriends.
The cold water she splashed on her face was soothing. When she looked up from the lavatory into the mirror, dark circles under her puffy red eyes stared back at her. Ann looked like a woman twice her age. She glanced around to see if she was alone then slipped into a stall, wrapped her arms around her waist, and sobbed. "Oh my G.o.d, what am I going to do?"
Chapter 7.
"The town of Bankstowne grew, established churches, schools, grocery stores, doctors, dentists, and a dozen other shops to take care of its citizens."
Holiday downer Christmas day at the Johnson's house wasn't the happy occasion Sam Johnson expected. They were supposed to be sitting on the fifty-yard line to watch his North Carolina Tar Heels play in the Orange Bowl.
Tank had shaken Sam's world to the core when he awkwardly confessed his stupid high school prank to get even with Rick for not giving him the star billing he deserved in the school paper. Even Tank was shaken to find out later Ann was pregnant.
"Are you trying to screw up your chances to play football just for a roll in the hay with a drunken grease monkey's daughter?
"I didn't think she'd get pregnant."
"Jesus, son, what's the matter with you? If she goes to the police, we have a real problem."
Sam paced in front of a crackling fireplace of the finest home in Bankstowne. He almost bit in half the cigar stub protruding from the corner of his mouth. He hadn't lit up since Dr. McCormick made him quit smoking five years ago. A childhood bout of pneumonia left his lungs weak, so now he only chewed the finest hand-rolled Havana's shipped directly to him from Cuba.
"I have big plans for your future, son, and I'm not just talking about playing football at Carolina. You keep your p.e.c.k.e.r in your pants and you can write your own ticket to the General a.s.sembly, the governor's mansion . . . Washington. There's no limit to where you can go."
"But what about pro ball? I can make a whole lot more money in the NFL. Heck, I could make more than you even." Tank smirked.
"Listen to me, boy, I'm talking about more money than you can imagine, in the hundreds of millions. You can play maybe five or six years if you don't blow a knee, then what?"
"Then I'll be old enough to run for governor." Tank stood only inches from his father's face. "Or congress. By then everybody in the country will know who I am."
"Don't get smart with me. The plan is to get you elected to the General a.s.sembly first. To learn your way around, how to make alliances and get legislation pa.s.sed that will put your name in front of the voters." Sam chewed his nub of a cigar. "Then when you're thirty, move up to the governor's mansion as the youngest governor in North Carolina's history. As governor you can help turn our new S & T Distributing Company into an even bigger money machine.
"Tobacco is the life blood of North Carolina. We have the lowest cigarette tax in the country and the best part is tax stamps aren't required on individual packs. We sell them to my contacts in New York City by the boxcar load for half their thirty-cent New York state tax value. Do you have any idea how much a quarter million cartons of cigarettes a month to New York alone would bring? How does one and a half million a month sound to you?"
Sam rolled his eyes. "In the General a.s.sembly and later in the governor's mansion you can kill any cigarette tax bills so we can sell cigarettes for at least seventy percent profit a pack." Sam draped his arm around Tank's shoulder, smiling and giving him a tight squeeze for emphasis. "Now do you understand why it's so important for that little tramp not to screw everything up by drawing attention to us with a paternity suit? And you had better learn to keep you pants zipped."
Tank shrugged. "I'm sorry, Pop. She won't say anything. I know she won't. If anything, she'll blame it on that little twit, Rick Barnes. Before she starts to show I'll make sure she convinces him it's his kid and that sap will marry her." Tank pulled from under his father's arm and straightened. "He's so stuck on her. He'll never know the difference."
"You'll do nothing until I tell you!" Sam said, biting on his cigar so hard that its tobacco fell onto the floor. "Do you understand me? Nothing! Her old man may be a drunk, but the girl is smart enough to ruin everything. We can't risk the publicity of a rape trial or paternity lawsuit. When you run for the General a.s.sembly, I don't want even a hint of scandal that some reporter can dig up. Now, let me think." His voice lowered as he motioned to the door. "See if you can stay out of trouble long enough for me to figure out how to handle this. Close the door behind you."
Tank pulled the handcrafted oak pocket doors together with a loud bang, protesting his father's plan for his life.
Sam slumped into a high-backed chair behind an antique desk said to have been used by Jefferson Davis when he held his last cabinet meeting in Charlotte after General Lee's surrender at Appomattox.
An hour later, he emerged from the study with a smile and chewing a fresh cigar. The sun had dropped out of sight from the study's ma.s.sive stained gla.s.s window salvaged from a plantation house before it was destroyed the by Sherman's march to Savanna. n.o.body was going to take away this beautiful home or stop his new tobacco enterprise. He would make sure of that, no matter what he had to do.
"Okay son, here's what's going to happen," Sam said when he entered the kitchen and caught Tank opening a beer. "I'm going to move the whole Nestlebaum family to Winston-Salem and put her daddy to work over there sweeping up the warehouse or something, but for a higher wage than he makes at the Shops. Alcohol has rotted his brain. He won't ask any questions. He'll just be glad to have a job. And since his little tramp of a daughter won't get rid of the baby, she'll work in the office, provided with financial support for the baby in return for her silence."
Tank mulled over Sam's plan. "Do you really think they'll go for it?"
"h.e.l.l yes. And it's your job to convince her it's in their best interest to move and, above all, keep quiet. They either move or he'll lose his job. But out of the goodness of my heart, I want to help them with their delicate situation." Sam smiled but clenched his teeth to keep the cigar firmly in his mouth.. "You make her understand this isn't an option, it's their only option. I'll take care of her old man, convince him this is a grand opportunity for him to provide for their growing family. Now let's eat some of that Christmas turkey Essie and your mother spent all day fixing. d.a.m.n, a good plan always makes me hungry."
Just six blocks away at the Barnes' house, Rick helped Mary Beth clear the remains of Christmas dinner off the table and stack dishes in the sink. Stretched out on the couch, Roy was taking his traditional after Christmas dinner nap. Wil had closed the door to his room and was listening to his favorite radio show, True Detective.
"Are you going over to Ann's house this evening?" Mary Beth asked while she washed dishes, handing them to Rick to dry.
Rick tried not to give away the hurt and confusion he was feeling about their troubled relationship. He thought back on the nights they slipped away to Carnes' barn for stolen moments of uninhibited pa.s.sion. His love gave Ann strength, freed her from constant fear of Red, and released her emotions that had built up like a long dormant volcano.
"Yes ma'am. I'm taking her Christmas present over. I really miss not living across the hall from her."
"Tell her I said h.e.l.lo." Mary Beth paused before she asked, "Is everything all right between you two?"
"Sure, Momma, everything's fine," he said with a forced grin. "We just don't get see each other as often as we used to. Her daddy has been giving her a rough time lately, too. After we graduate and are commuting to Cannon, we'll be able to spend a lot more time together, away from her daddy."
"She's such a sweet girl. I don't think you could do any better. Has Red agreed to let her commute with you? I know he's never liked you very much. He just might be mean enough to keep her home and make her go to work to help support the family. It's sinful the way that man drinks up their grocery money and how awful he treats his family"
"It's okay, Momma. We have it all worked out." Rick still hoped her parents would let her go to Cannon College. She'd already received several scholarship offers. "Believe me, I want to get her out of that house as often as I can. She should have enough scholarships pay for school. I'll be picking up extra money working part time for the Daily Journal to help out with books and stuff." Rick hurriedly dried the last few dishes, rinsed his hands, and then grabbed his coat. "Better run before it gets too late. You know how Red can be."
Mary Beth clasped her hands to her chest as Rick waved goodbye. "You two have fun and give Alice my best. Don't be too late."
"I will," Rick said then slipped out the door. He didn't like hiding his problems from his mother, but she had enough to worry about.
Chapter 8.
"As the railroad prospered, so did Bankstowne, constantly growing and providing a good place to raise a family."
Final embrace Ann met Rick in the hall outside their apartment because Red was home and she didn't want to risk a confrontation.
"We'll have to stay here and be quiet," Ann said. She leaned against the door alongside Rick, trying her best to avoid direct eye contact. "Daddy's asleep on the couch."
"Can't we go for a drive or something?"
"If he woke up and I was out with you he would really be mad."
Rick was quiet for a moment before digging into his pocket for something. "I brought your Christmas present. I'd hoped for a more romantic setting, but I guess this will have to do." Rick pulled a little black box out of his pocket then held it out for Ann. She already knew it was a friendship ring; they'd talked about it earlier in their relationship.
She took the box then carefully opened it. As she thought, inside sat a plain silver band. "It's beautiful, but you shouldn't have gotten me anything after the way I've treated you." Her stare lingered on the ring, and it filled her with shame and fear. "I'm sorry Rick, but I can't accept it." She closed the box and tried to give it back to him.
"What do you mean you can't accept it?" He stepped away from the wall and faced Ann. Rick wrapped his hands around hers, locking the box tightly in her hand. "I don't understand. After all we've been through together this last year . . . We'll be free of your father when college starts in the fall." Rick took a deep breath and called up all the courage he could muster. "Are you breaking up with me? What about all our plans, your scholarship and our future after college? What about all that?" Rick's voice cracked. Ann could feel the sadness in his tone.
Ann tried to let him down gently while her own heart was being torn to pieces. She took her free hand and calmly pressed her index finger against his lips. "Shhhhh, you'll wake Daddy."
Rick sniffled and choked back tears trying to make sense of what was happening.
"Those were your plans, Rick. It never would have worked out for us. We've had a good year. Please don't spoil it now."
"Don't spoil it now? This is crazy! I thought you loved me. Didn't those nights in the barn mean anything to you? You said you wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together and have my babies."
Rick paced back and forth in the hall then lunged at the wall and pounded his fist as hard as he could. He whirled around and pinned Ann's shoulders against the door to her apartment.
"I love you, Ann," he said, his voice hoa.r.s.e, his eyes red.
"Stop it, Rick," Ann cried out. "You're hurting me. Can't you see I don't have any control over my life, that those were just dreams that could never come true?"
Rick let go of Ann and took a step back, shaking his head in disbelief. "You're not the same person I knew three months ago. Is it your daddy? Has he hurt you or threatened you?" His eyes narrowed. "What about Tank . . . has he bothered you? Answer me, Ann." Rick's voice turned desperate. He was losing control.
Ann knew she had to calm him down quickly. But if she told him the real reason she had to break off their relationship, he would be devastated. Her heart raced, and she fought to hold back tears. "Rick . . . we're moving."
Rick froze, his anger melting into confusion. Rick unraveled. His lips quivered, his voice cracked. His head was spinning to the point he was unsteady on his feet.
"Daddy got a new job," Ann said. "He starts right after the holidays. We're already packing. I . . . I can't tell you where we're moving to." Avoiding Rick's eyes, Ann fidgeted with the black box. "It will be a new start, and Daddy promised he would stop drinking. Please be happy for us." She stood limp and cold in the dimly lit hall where they had embraced so many times before.
Rick could only stare, tears welling in his eyes.
"I won't be seeing you again before we leave," Ann said. "Please try to understand." She barely managed to get the words out, wishing he would take her into his arms and go someplace far away from this nightmare.