The Darkest Secret Part 24

He must be in pain, she thought, yet he carried her with careful, easy steps, doing his best not to jostle her. Such tenderness...such a darling man.

Would she ever figure him out?

She tried to open her mouth to thank him, to apologize for not aiding him in the Realm of Snakes, for actual y hindering him, but no words emerged. Her lips refused to even part, lethargy stil pumping through her at an alarming rate. d.a.m.n it. She owed him something.

He must have sensed her internal struggle, though he never looked down, never slowed his gait. Easy now, he said, that husky voice wisping through her mind. Don't try to talk.

Sleep, heal.

That. She could give him that. Obedience, just this once. Or again. With him, the lines had always been blurred. She closed her eyes and let the darkness once again consume her.

HAIDEE STRETCHED HER ARMS over her head, back arching, legs kicking out. In the back of her mind, she knew she'd grown used to hard, twig-laden ground, cramped cel s and general discomfort.

But, oh, not this time. The mattress beneath her was soft and smel ed deliciously of peat smoke and flowers. And sweet Lord above, she heard a crackling fire, felt wave after wave of delicious heat caressing her skin.

Only two things marred the luxury of the moment. A dul headache throbbing in her temples, and a gnawing sense of emptiness in her stomach. Both demanded attention.

Now. She blinked open her eyes, taking stock. She was sprawled on her side, lying on a bed of soft, colorful petals.

Inside a murky, barren cave. Had Amun picked the flowers from the forest and brought them here, just to ensure her comfort?

Amun.

She jolted upright, heartbeat accelerating with grat.i.tude, delight and awareness. So much awareness. He sat only a few inches away, within striking distance. Perhaps he was coming to trust her. A fire blazed in front of him, creating a symphony of music and heat. His bare back was to her. As she'd noticed before, he bore no tattoos, no scars. She saw only the ridges of his spine and a wide span of muscle and scabs.

From the snakes, she realized. The snakes he'd saved her from.

"Where are we?" she asked, surprised by the raw quality of her voice.

He didn't move, didn't even twitch with alarm at the sudden interruption. We're between realms, I think.

We're safe, though. I scouted ahead, and there's nothing and no one for miles.

"Thank you," she said softly. "For everything."

He nodded. You have to talk to me, Haidee. Slowly he twisted so that his hip pressed against hers, and they were facing each other. I wasn't sure how the ambrosia in the air would affect you. I wasn't sure if I needed to try and purge it from your body or leave you be.

She knew she needed to reply but couldn't. Not just yet.

She wanted to savor this moment with him, no animosity between them.

He was just so beautiful, his dark, fathomless eyes probing al the way to her soul. His lips, though taut with tension, could lure a woman to her own downfal . As long as she could have those lips on her body, that tongue licking, sucking and tasting, destruction hardly mattered.

More than embodying physical perfection, he was courageous, caring, protective. How could anyone consider him evil? Least of al herself?

Honestly. How could she ever hurt him? Even if he decided he no longer needed her and opted to punish her for her past sins? She wouldn't be able to blame him. He just wanted to survive, as she always had.

And what if Baden had been just like him? she suddenly wondered, causing sickness to churn in her stomach. What if she'd helped kil an innocent man? Not that Baden had been innocent back then, but what if he would have matured into a dedicated warrior like the one in front of her?

What if they were al innocent? The sickness intensified.

Strider had spent those seemingly endless days with her, yet he hadn't raped her, hadn't tortured her, hadn't hurt her as he could have. He'd threatened her, yes, but then, she had threatened him. She had even hit him, stabbed him.

He'd retaliated, once, but not as fiercely as he should have.

The Lords of the Underworld are the epitome of evil, Dean Stefano, the modern-day version of the Bad Man, the first Hunter she'd ever encountered, had always said. As right-hand man to Galen, who rarely made an appearance, he was currently in charge of the troops. They must be eradicated before their poison spreads. To you, to your loved ones. How many of your mothers have died of cancer? How many of your teenage daughters have been violated? How many of your spouses have betrayed you?

When someone had balked about kil ing another living being, Stefano had added stiffly, Kil ing a demon isn't murder. Demons are animals, and those animals would slaughter your entire family without a single pang of remorse. Like a starving lion or bear. They attack and ravage thoughtlessly. Never forget that fact.

Wasted breath, she'd thought every time she'd heard that speech. Haidee hadn't needed convincing. A demon had slaughtered her entire family. Not just once, but twice.

She'd always blamed the entire lot of them because, to her, a demon was a demon and evil was evil.

Now, with the proud, compa.s.sionate Amun so close to her, she at last saw the flaw in her logic. Evil destroyed. These men hadn't destroyed her when given the chance, yet destruction had always been her ultimate goal.

How many times had she tried to eradicate the Lords? Had she even cared about the methods used?

No.

A wail of regret suddenly caught in her throat. What if she was the evil one?

A firm arm slid under her knees and another wrapped around her waist. A moment later she was being lifted and lowered. After that, she was leaning against Amun's ma.s.sive chest, her cheek pressed into the hol ow of his neck. Gently he caressed her hair as if she was beloved rather than despised, as if her emotional state mattered.

What are you, Haidee? he asked again, voice as gentle as his touch.

She'd never discussed her...infection with another living being. Ever. Not even Micah. But this was Amun. Her Amun. As tears burned her eyes, she relaxed against him, flattening her palm against the heart beating so swiftly in his chest. He'd saved her; he deserved to know the truth.

"I'm not exactly sure," she whispered. "Human, I know that much, but something else, too. I can be kil ed just like anyone else. Bleeding out, disease, starvation. But each time I'm kil ed, I come back, exactly as I am now."

You've died before? I mean, I know you died that once, but you've actual y died several times? His tender stroking never ceased.

"Yes. More than several, though. I lost count a long time ago. Stil , no matter how long I manage to stay alive in one incarnation, I never age past this point. I guess my age just kind of froze after the very first death."

So what happens after you die?

She shuddered. "It's horrible. You'd think the pain of dying would be the worst, but no. The pain of rebirth, or whatever it is, is devastating. I'l feel my life slipping away, float in darkness for what seems an eternity, but then, when the light comes..." She shuddered again. "The light swal ows me, burns me to my soul, but not with fire, with ice, and my body wil begin to rejuvenate. I'm like a mother giving birth -to myself. My bones feel like they're being injected with acid, every muscle spasms and my skin feels like it's being poured back on."

Those warm fingers curled around her nape, the caress becoming a ma.s.sage. Again, his touch was tender, and yet, as aware of him as she was, her sensitive flesh p.r.i.c.kled, her nipples beaded, and an ache bloomed between her legs. How she wanted this man.

She had always a.s.sumed discussing the past would be difficult. And never had she imagined doing so with one of the demon-possessed warriors she'd fought so diligently to obliterate. The words flowed smoothly, however. "When the pain final y leaves, I always find myself in the same location.

Greece, in a cave next to the water. I won't remember any of the good things that happened to me, yet I'm aware that the memories were taken. Not that that makes any sense.

I'l know who I am, every terrible thing that's ever been done to me, every terrible thing I've done, and the hate... G.o.d, Amun, I'm always fil ed with so much hate. For the first few years of a new life, that hate is the only thing that drives me."

He rested his chin on top of her head, his warm breath ruffling strands of her hair, tickling. How long have you been alive this time?

"About eleven years."

Why have you never come after us before?

She should lie. The truth would destroy the tranquility of this moment. He deserved the truth, though.

After everything, he deserved the truth.

"I have come after you," she admitted. "A few years ago, some of you were in New York. I helped burn down your home. And then, a few months ago, in Budapest, there was a shootout. I was there."

No, I mean, in one of your other lives. I've been around a long time, yet this is the first time since ancient Greece that I've encountered you.

He wasn't going to take issue with her confession. He wasn't even going to acknowledge it as the travesty it was.

The realization was staggering. "I always remain in seclusion until I've got the hate under control. And even then, I have to wait until I can pa.s.s myself off as someone else before I can rejoin society and the Hunters, which means waiting until the people who might have known me are dead."

How do you know who they are, if most of your memories are taken? And how you are Haidee now, if you've changed your ident.i.ty?

"I've come back so many times, and with so many years apart, I'm often able to reuse the same name.

As for the rest, I keep records inside my cave, files detailing everything I've been through in one lifetime.

I also send newspaper clippings, photos, that sort of thing, to a mailbox nearby."

That's smart. His sincerity warmed her as surely as his touch.

"Thank you." She lifted her arm, drawing his attention to her tattoos. She'd never done this before, either. Never explained what the etchings meant. If she and Amun were ever going to make a relationship work, though-you want a ful -blown relationship now?-one of them had to take that first, trusting step.

"See this?" she asked, ignoring her question to herself.

With her free hand, she traced a circle around the only address amid the faces, phrases and dates.

His fingers curled around her wrist, slowly turning her arm, al owing him to study each of the surrounding tattoos. He rubbed the pad of his thumb over Micah's name, as if he could wipe it away. Just then, she wished he could.

Yes, he said. I see.

"That's where my mailbox is."

At first, he didn't respond. Then his breath emerged raggedly and he stiffened. Don't tel me anything else about how you survive. Okay?

"O-okay," she said, confused. "Why?" Because he'd feel obligated to tel his friends, but didn't actual y want them to know? Yes, she realized a moment later. That was exactly why.

The thought of possible betrayal should have sent her leaping out of his lap. Instead, she cuddled closer.

He was stil trying to take care of her.

Who's the Bad Man? he asked, changing the subject.

Hearing a nickname she'd only ever thought jolted her.

"How did you know about him?"

His thumb brushed the side of her jaw, and she shivered. I had a vision of you. Like the one we saw together, of you on the veranda. Except in this one, you were a little girl.

Everyone else, I can read their minds, but you...I have only ever seen s.n.a.t.c.hes of your life.

First, he could read al minds but hers? That was kind of...

disappointing. She wished he could see al of her, know al of her. If anyone could help her sift through her confused emotions and conflicting desires, it was this man. "The Bad Man was the first Hunter I ever met. He found me after my parents were kil ed."

Blood, a river between her mother and her father. Both helpless...dead.

Oh, no. No way in hel would she al ow that hated memory to resurface now. "He saved my life after...someone like you tried to kil me. He thought I'd come in handy." She laughed bitterly. "He was right, he just didn't know it. I was nearly a teenager when he sold me in the slave market after failing to train me. But after I died the first time, I remembered his lessons and that's how I later hooked up with the Hunters."

And that's when you helped kil Baden? Simply asked, with no hint of his emotions.

Goodbye, sweet, stolen moment. If any topic could ruin their ease with each other, it was that one. Stil .

She nodded, tears once again burning her eyes.

Who did we take from you that drove you to hate us so deeply?

Again, there was no emotion in his voice. Not anger, not condemnation. Far more stunning, his question offered her absolution. A justifiable reason for her actions. He would never know what that meant to her, how profoundly that affected her.

She couldn't help herself. She pressed a kiss on the pulse thumping at the base of his neck. "My parents.

My sister.

My...husband."

Husband?

"Yes."

His arms tightened around her. Before, you mentioned only one of us had done the deed. Do you know...do you know which of us it was?

That hesitancy...he feared he was the culprit, she realized.

"I did not see the face of the one who kil ed my parents and sister, but I do know it wasn't you or any of your friends. He was a demon-possessed warrior, though. As for my husband..." She sighed. "I'm not sure exactly who was responsible, but I do remember seeing your friends the night of his death."

He tipped up her chin and met her gaze, his black eyes deep pools of regret. He didn't speak, and neither did she.

Earlier he had offered her absolution, and with her silence, she now did the same for him.

He nodded in understanding, in thanks, and released her chin. His hand slid into her hair, his fingers combing through the strands. Do you know the story of how I came to be demon-possessed?

"I think so. You and the others stole and opened Pandora's box, unleashing the demons that were trapped inside. The G.o.ds decided to punish you, and rightly so," she couldn't help but add, "by bonding each of you with a demon of your own."

That's right.

"Why'd you steal the box, anyway?"