The Darkest Secret Part 14

Then Secrets informed him that Torin knew, also. That Strider simply hadn't realized. Amun was shocked to his soul that neither man had kil ed her already. Shock that nearly burned him alive, chasing away the sweetest kiss of her chil ed skin. Because she lived, Amun had a.s.sumed he was the only one who had figured out her past misdeed.

"Wel ?" Strider demanded In reply to his previous statement, Amun merely nodded.

The warrior's nostrils flared with outrage. "You knew?"

He gave a second nod.

"I shouldn't be surprised. You always know everything. But f.u.c.k, man! You're stil treating her like a G.o.dd.a.m.n treasure."

The words were gritted as he tunneled a hand through his hair and paced. "You picked her over me, d.a.m.n it."

There was no response that could exonerate him, even another apology, so he offered none. And in the silence, Amun began to hear more of Strider's thoughts. Thoughts the warrior couldn't snuff out quickly enough.

She's mine. To kiss, to kil . Whatever I decide. d.a.m.n her, how has she tied me in knots like this? I despise her.

Amun's hands curled into fists. Mine, he wanted to shout.

He didn't. Such a confession would only dig his hole of guilt and shame deeper, so he kept his lips pressed into a tight line.

Why haven't you harmed her? he signed stiffly. Because Strider desired her, too? Such desire was completely unlike the war-hungry man, though. Only Sabin, their leader and keeper of the demon of Doubt, was better able to place the campaign against the Hunters over his personal needs and wants. So Strider's hesitation to strike had to stem from something else. Or rather, it had better stem from something else.

Amun had never felt more capable of murder than he did at that moment, thinking of another man putting his hands on Haidee.

Guilt...shame...he fel into the hole anyway.

His friend plopped back into the chair, gaze never leaving him. "We don't know how, but she calms you, clears your mind, even makes the demons cower."

So. As he'd suspected, Haidee was responsible for his recovery. The knowledge was as upsetting as it was welcome.

"She has to be near you, in the same room, for...whatever she does to work," Strider went on. "We stil don't know how she's doing it, but we've carried her in and out of this room several times to test the limits of her ability. Once she reaches the hal way, your torment begins al over again."

"Experiments" suddenly made sense. Was her ability the reason he felt bound to her? Because she somehow did what he couldn't, frightening the demons into submission?

Was that how she affected him so strongly, his body a slave to desires he didn't want to feel?

That question led to another, one far more distressing than any that had come before. Was this how Baden had felt when he'd opened his door one moonlit night and found Haidee outside, begging for help?

The memory opened up in Amun's mind, courtesy of Haidee, he was sure.

I'm frightened, she'd said, tears glistening in her eyes, her lower lip trembling. I think someone's out there, fol owing me. Please escort me home. Please.

He beat it back until he saw only black. He didn't want to go there. Other questions began to pop up, each more d.a.m.ning than the last. Had Baden looked at her lovely face and felt at peace for the first time since his possession?

Was that why he'd simply bowed his head when the Hunters had surged from their hiding places and attacked him, welcoming his own death?

Jerkily, he signed, Can she hear your thoughts?

"No." Strider blinked, shook his head in confusion. "Can she hear yours?"

Amun nodded stiffly.

"Can she hear everything? Even your demon...s? Even your demons."

No. Thank the G.o.ds. Just what I al ow her to hear.

Strider propped his elbow on the arm of the chair, a triumphant gleam suddenly glittering in his blue eyes, intensifying the blaze already banked there. "We can use that to our advantage."

Of course the warrior immediately went to tricking and defeating the girl. "Sabin wil -"

Amun hissed before he could stop himself. No.

Again Strider blinked in confusion.

No, he signed a second time. You wil not mention this to Sabin. He barely stopped himself from adding, Ever.

"Amun, you know I can't-"

Not yet. You won't mention it yet. Amun had chosen to fol ow Sabin while they'd lived in the heavens, soldiers for the G.o.d king, even though Lucien had been the one in charge. No one could strategize like Sabin. No one was fiercer. No one was better suited to getting an unpleasant job done.

After they'd opened Pandora's box and found themselves cursed, as wel as stuck in the land of the mortals, half of his friends had continued to fol ow Lucien. The other half had decided to fol ow Sabin.

Amun hadn't changed his mind.

He'd gone with Sabin because no one hated Hunters more.

For the first time in al the centuries since, he regretted that decision.

Amun had often helped his friend torture their prisoners for information, but he hadn't enjoyed the screams or the blood as Sabin had. Stil . He'd known that what they were doing was necessary to their survival.

Now he knew, deep in his bones, that no matter what he said, the moment Sabin learned Haidee's true ident.i.ty, he would stride into this room and calmly but surely strip her of her pride, her peace of mind and even her wil to live.

"I'm not going to keep this from him, Amun," Strider said.

There was no emotion in his tone. His voice was dead now, his tenacity clear.

Give me a day with her, then. A day wasn't going to be enough, he realized in the next instant. Not because he desired her. Which he did. Oh, did he desire. More than he should, more than he'd ever desired another. There was stil no denying that fact. Never before had he placed someone else's welfare above that of his friends, and an enemy at that. No, a day wasn't going to be enough because she'd cal ed him "baby" and he wanted so badly for it to be true.

He scrubbed a hand down his sore, swol en face. The endearment had been meant for another man.

That should have lessened its appeal. It didn't.

Stil . He was going to protect her, he thought. From Sabin.

From al of them. She was the reason Amun's sanity had returned. Therefore, he had to keep her safe.

And if he was going to keep her safe, at least for a little while, he needed to set a few rules. Like, no more thinking about how soft she felt in his arms. Like, no more tapping into her sweetest memories.

Like, no more kissing her.

The first time had been the last time. No matter how succulent she'd tasted. No matter how pa.s.sionately she'd come apart for him. No matter how much he yearned to sink inside her, slipping in and out, slowly at first, then increasing his speed, pushing them both to feverish heights. s.h.i.t. He wasn't supposed to be thinking about her, and he d.a.m.n wel wasn't supposed to be l.u.s.ting for her.

"Why do you want a day?" Strider demanded. "A day's not going to change anything. Besides, Sabin's not going to kil her, knowing she's responsible for your improved condition."

Sabin would torture her, though. Because I would rather pamper an enemy-even the one responsible for Baden's murder, he added for his own benefit-than endure the darkness and the visions. Selfish of him, yes, and another reason to hate himself, but that wasn't going to stop him.

Another reason to hate himself? he mused then. An odd choice of words. Amun didn't hate himself and never had.

He didn't like some of the things he'd done over his endless lifetime, but hate? No. Unlike some of the other warriors, he wasn't fil ed with guilt over his past, either. He'd kil ed innocents, yes. He'd razed cities to the ground, that, too. But he'd been a puppet, his strings pul ed by his demon. So how, then, was he to blame?

Because he should have been stronger? That was what some of his friends thought about themselves.

Not him. No one would have been strong enough to stop those demons.

Because he'd helped open Pandora's box, and deserved the punishment that led to his need for destruction? Nearly al of the Lords thought that, but again, Amun didn't.

Everyone made mistakes, and that had been one of his.

You paid the price and then you moved on.

And what of Haidee? he wondered. Was her mistake forgivable? Had she paid the price? Should he move on?

His jaw clenched. He ignored that line of questioning, focusing instead on what he'd do once his day with her was over-or if he wasn't even given a day. No matter what, he wasn't going to al ow Sabin to have her. When the time came, Amun would simply cart her out of the fortress. And once they left, no one would be able to find them. His demon could do more than steal secrets from those around them.

His demon could keep secrets. Distorting memories, even before they were created.

If Amun wanted to disappear forever, he could disappear forever.

He could hide Haidee until he learned how to control the new demons himself. Then...then he didn't know what he would do with her. Bring her back, he hoped. Do what needed doing, he prayed. Because if he failed to learn the answers he needed, he would be stuck with Haidee forever, destroying his friends.

Plus, Amun added, I plan to talk to her. Learn more about her effect on me.

"Who are you trying to fool? Yourself or me? We both know that's a lie. You're not thinking with you brain right now, my man." The last was snapped, as if the warrior had reached the end of his patience.

"You want to f.u.c.k her, end of story."

Wel , Amun had reached the end of his patience, too. What we both know is that you aren't thinking with your brain, either.

There was a momentary splash of astonishment over Strider's face before the warrior smoothed his features into a blank expression that matched his earlier tone. "Stay out of my head."

Control your thoughts, Amun signed. I know you desire her.

Now I'l hear you admit it.

The tip of Strider's tongue traced over the straight line of his teeth. "Fine. I want her. But I'm not going to do anything about it. I'm not going to let it stop me from winning our war." At least he didn't try to deny his feelings. "Can you say the same?"

Amun merely raised his chin. I can't say anything.

"Funny. That's not what I meant and you know it."

Wel , that's al you're going to get from me.

"Fine," Strider snarled, pushing to his feet. "I'm leaving before you provoke my demon any more.

You've got your day, but I'd be careful if I were you. When you least expect it, she's gonna go for your head. Guaranteed. And maybe that doesn't concern you. Maybe you even want to die.

Yeah, I saw what you did to yourself. But guess what? Not for a single moment are any of the rest of us ready to deal with your loss. So why don't you think about that before you put your life on the line for our enemy?"

CHAPTER TEN.

TWO SECONDS AFTER STRIDER barricaded himself inside his own bedroom, he had his phone in hand and was texting Lucien. He couldn't deal with this. He'd reached his bul s.h.i.t limit.

At fortress. Come get me. Now.

It was nice, having a friend who could flash from one location to another with only a thought.

Within five minutes, his friend materialized a few feet away from him. Lucien was winded, barreled chest rising and fal ing shal owly. A sheen of sweat covered his entire torso.

His mane of black hair s.h.a.gged around his severely scarred face, and his multicolored eyes were bright.

He was shirtless, his b.u.t.terfly tattoo practical y crackling with electricity on his left shoulder. His unfastened pants were barely staying on his hips. To top it al off, tension radiated from the man.

"What the hel were you doing?" Strider asked from his closet. He'd already strapped himself with weapons, but a few moments before had decided a couple more blades wouldn't hurt. Wel , wouldn't hurt him.

One of Lucien's black brows practical y knitted into his hairline. "Who the hel do you think I was doing?"

O-kay, then. Lucien had been in bed with Anya. For a moment, Strider almost forgot how p.i.s.sed he was with Amun and Haidee as he savored the fact that he'd just c.o.c.k-blocked the keeper of Death.

Almost. "Anyone ever tel you that you shouldn't check your messages while you're rol ing around in bed?"

"Yes. Anya. And believe me, I'm going to pay for this." His deep baritone was amused and excited rather than fearful at the thought of incurring his volatile female's wrath.

"Here's a news flash for you. No matter what I'm doing, I check my messages when I'm worried about leaving my friends at home with a contingent of angels, when one of my men is sick, or when a Hunter is in residence. And when al three are happening at once? I check even when I don't have messages. So.

What's wrong? Why did you summon me? Amun okay?"

Strider shoved an extra clip for his .22 into his pocket as he abandoned the confines of the walk-in.

"Amun's great.

Better. The problem's me. I gotta take off for a little while."