The Danger Mark Part 40

Overwhelmed with consternation, she seated herself to consider the circ.u.mstances; little flashes of alarm a.s.sisted her. Then a sort of delicate madness took possession of her, deafening her ears to the voice of fear. She refused to be afraid.

As she sat there, both hands unconsciously indenting her breast, the clamour and tumult of her senses drowned the voice within.

No, she would not be afraid!--though the burning perfume was mounting to her head with every breath and the glow grew steadily in her body, creeping from vein to vein. No, she would not be afraid. It could never happen again. She would be on her guard after this.... Besides, the forgetfulness had been so momentary, the imprudence so very slight ...

and it had helped her, too--it was already making her sleepy ... and she had needed something to quiet her--needed sleep....

After a long while she turned languidly and picked up the little crystal flask from the dresser--an antique bit of gla.s.s which Rosalie had given her.

Dawn whitened the edges of the sky; the birds were becoming very noisy.

She lifted the curiously cut relic; an imprisoned fluid glimmered with pale-violet light--some scented French distillation which Rosalie affected because n.o.body else had ever heard of it--an aromatic, fiery essence, faintly perfumed.

For a moment the girl gazed at it curiously. Then, on deliberate impulse, she filled another gla.s.s.

"One thing is certain," she said to herself; "if I am capable of controlling myself at all, I must begin now. If I should touch this it would be excess.... I would like to, but"--she flung the contents from the window--"I won't. And _that_ is the way I am able to control myself."

She smiled, set the gla.s.s aside, and raised her eyes to the paling stars. When at last she stretched herself out on the bed, dawn was already lighting the room, but she fell asleep at once.

It was a flushed and rather heavy slumber, not perfectly natural; and when Kathleen entered at nine o'clock, followed by Geraldine's maid with the breakfast-tray, the girl still lay with face buried in her hair, breathing deeply and irregularly, her lashes wet with tears.

The maid retired; Kathleen bent low over the feverishly parted lips, kissed them, hesitated, drew back sharply, and cast a rapid glance around the room. Then she went over to the dressing-table and lifted Rosalie's antique flacon; and set it back slowly, as the girl turned her face on the pillow and opened her eyes.

"Is that you, Kathleen?"

"Yes, dear."

For a few seconds she lay quite motionless, then, rising on one elbow, she pa.s.sed the backs of her fingers across her lids, laughed sleepily, and straightened up, freeing her eyes from the confusion of her hair.

"I've had horrid dreams. I've been crying in my sleep. Come here," she said, stretching out her arms, and Kathleen went slowly.

The girl pulled her head down, linking both arms around her neck:

"You darling, can you ever guess what miracle happened to me yesterday?"

"No.... What?"

"I promised to marry Duane Mallett!"

There was no reply. The girl clung to her excitedly, burying her face against Kathleen's cheek, then released her with a laugh, and saw her face--saw the sorrowful amazement in it, the pain.

"Kathleen!" she exclaimed, startled, "what is the matter?"

Mrs. Severn dropped down on the bed's edge, her hands loosely clasped.

Geraldine's brown eyes searched hers in hurt astonishment.

"Aren't you glad for me, Kathleen? What is it? Why do you--" And all at once she divined, and the hot colour stained her from brow to throat.

Kathleen bent forward swiftly and caught her in her arms with a smothered cry; but the girl freed herself and leaned back, breathing fast.

"Duane knows about me," she said. "I told him."

"He knew before you told him, my darling."

Another wave of scarlet swept Geraldine's face.

"That is true.... He found out--last April.... But he and I are not afraid. I promised him--" And her voice failed as the memory of the night's indulgence flashed in her brain.

Kathleen began: "You promised me, too--" And her voice also failed.

There was a silence; the girl's eyes turned miserably toward the dressing-table, closed with a slow, inward breath which ended like a sob; and again she was in Kathleen's arms--struggled from them only to drop her head on Kathleen's knees and lie, tense face hidden, both hands clenched. The wave of grief and shame swept her and pa.s.sed.

After a while she spoke in a hard little voice:

"It is foolish to say I cannot control myself.... I did not think what I was doing last night--that was all. Duane knows my danger--tendency, I mean. He isn't worried; he knows that I can take care of myself----"

"Don't marry him until _you_ know you can."

"But I am perfectly certain of myself now!"

"Only prove it, darling. Be frank with me. Who in the world loves you as I do, Geraldine? Who desires happiness for you as I do? What have I in life besides you and Scott?... And lately, dearest--I _must_ speak as I feel--something--some indefinable constraint seems to have grown between you and me--something--I don't exactly know what--that threatens our intimate understanding----"

"No, there is nothing!"

"Be honest with me, dear. What is it?"

The girl lay silent for a while, then:

"I don't know myself. I have been--worried. It may have been that."

"Worried about yourself, you poor lamb?"

"A little.... And a little about Duane."

"But, darling, if Duane loves you, that is all cleared up, isn't it?"

"Yes.... But for a long time he and Rosalie made me perfectly wretched.... I didn't know I was in love with him, either.... And I couldn't sleep very much, and I--I simply couldn't tell you how unhappy they were making me--and I--sometimes--now and then--in fact, very often, I--formed the custom of--doing what I ought not to have done--to steady my nerves--in fact, I simply let myself go--badly."

"Oh, my darling! My darling! Couldn't you have told me--let me sit with you, talk, read to you--_love_ you to sleep? Why did you do this, Geraldine?"

"Nothing--very disgraceful--ever happened. It only helped me to sleep when I was excited and miserable.... I--I didn't care what I did--Duane and Rosalie made me so wretched. And there seemed no use in my trying to be different from others, and I thought I might as well be as rotten as everybody. But I tried and couldn't--I tried, for instance, to misbehave with Jack Dysart, but I couldn't--and I only hated myself and him and Rosalie and Duane!"

She sat up, flushed, dishevelled, lips quivering. "I want to confess!

I've been horribly depraved for a week! I gambled with the Pink 'uns and swore as fashionably as I knew how! I scorched my tongue with cigarettes; I sat in Bunny Gray's room with the door bolted and let him teach me how to make silver fizzes and Chinese juleps out of Rose wine and saki! I let Jack Dysart retain my hand--and try to kiss me--several times----"

"Geraldine!"

"I _did_. I wanted to be horrid."

She sat there breathing fast, her big brown eyes looking defiantly at Kathleen, but the child's mouth quivered beyond control and the nervous hands tightened and relaxed.