The Constant Couple Part 17

_Lady L._ 'Tis too early for serenading, Sir Harry.

_Sir H._ Wheresoever love is, there music is proper.

_Lady L._ But, Sir Harry, what tempest drives you here at this hour?

_Sir H._ No tempest, madam, but love madam.

[WILDAIR _taking her by the Hand_.

_Lady L._ As pure and white as angels' soft desires.

_Sir H._ Fierce, as when ripe consenting beauty fires.

_Lady L._ [_Aside._] If this be a love token, [WILDAIR _drops a ring, she takes it up_.] your mistress's favours hang very loose about you, sir.

_Sir H._ I can't, justly, madam, pay your trouble of taking it up, by any thing but desiring you to wear it.

_Lady L._ You gentlemen have the cunningest ways of playing the fool, and are so industrious in your profuseness. Speak seriously, am I beholden to chance or design for this ring?

_Sir H._ To design, upon my honour. And I hope my design will succeed.

[_Aside._

_Lady L._ Shall I be free with you, Sir Harry?

_Sir H._ With all my heart, madam, so I may be free with you.

_Lady L._ Then plainly, sir, I shall beg the favour to see you some other time; for at this very minute I have two lovers in the house.

_Sir H._ Then to be as plain, I must begone this minute, for I must see another mistress within these two hours.

_Lady L._ Frank and free.

_Sir H._ As you with me--Madam, your most humble servant. [_Exit._

_Lady L._ Nothing can disturb his humour. Now for my merchant and Vizard. [_Exit, and takes the Candles with her._

_Enter_ PARLY, _leading in_ SMUGGLER, _dressed in Woman's Clothes._

_Parly._ This way, Mr. Alderman.

_Smug._ Well, Mrs. Parly,--I'm obliged to you for this trouble: here are a couple of shillings for you. Times are hard, very hard indeed; but next time I'll steal a pair of silk stockings from my wife, and bring them to you--What are you fumbling about my pockets for?

_Parly._ Only setting the plaits of your gown: here, sir, get into this closet, and my lady will wait on you presently.

[_Puts him into the Closet, runs out, and returns with_ VIZARD.

_Vizard._ Where wouldst thou lead me, my dear auspicious little pilot?

_Parly._ You're almost in port, sir; my lady's in the closet, and will come out to you immediately.

_Vizard._ Let me thank thee as I ought. [_Kisses her._

_Parly._ Pshaw, who has hired me best? a couple of shillings, or a couple of kisses? [_Exit_ PARLY.

_Vizard._ Propitious darkness guides the lover's steps; and night, that shadows outward sense, lights up our inward joy.

_Smug._ My nephew's voice, and certainly possessed with an evil spirit.

_Vizard._ Ha! I hear a voice. Madam----my life, my happiness, where are you, madam?

_Smug._ Madam! He takes me for a woman too: I'll try him. Where have you left your sanct.i.ty, Mr. Vizard?

_Vizard._ Talk no more of that ungrateful subject--I left it where it has only business, with day-light; 'tis needless to wear a mask in the dark.

_Smug._ Well, sir, but I suppose your dissimulation has some other motive besides pleasure?

_Vizard._ Yes, madam, the honestest motive in the world--interest----You must know, madam, that I have an old uncle, Alderman Smuggler; you have seen him, I suppose.

_Smug._ Yes, yes, I have some small acquaintance with him.

_Vizard._ 'Tis the most knavish, precise, covetous old rogue, that ever died of the gout.

_Smug._ Ah, the young son of a wh.o.r.e! [_Aside._] Well, sir, and what of him?

_Vizard._ Why, madam, he has a swingeing estate, which I design to purchase as a saint, and spend like a gentleman. He got it by cheating, and should lose it by deceit. By the pretence of my zeal and sobriety, I'll cozen the old miser, one of these days, out of a settlement and deed of conveyance----

_Smug._ It shall be a deed to convey you to the gallows then, ye young dog. [_Aside._

_Vizard._ And no sooner he's dead, but I'll rattle over his grave with a coach and six, to inform his covetous ghost how genteelly I spend his money.

_Smug._ I'll prevent you, boy; for I'll have my money buried with me.

[_Aside._

_Vizard._ Bless me, madam! here's a light coming this way. I must fly immediately.----When shall I see you, madam?

_Smug._ Sooner than you expect, my dear.

_Vizard._ Pardon me, dear madam, I would not be seen for the world. I would sooner forfeit my life, my pleasure, than my reputation. [_Exit._

_Smug._ Egad, and so would I too. [_Exit._

ACT THE FIFTH.

SCENE I.

LADY DARLING'S _House_.