The Comical Adventures of Twm Shon Catty Part 28

"Well then," continued Twm, "I order thee to give us a dance in the middle of the crockery."

"With all my heart, if _you_ order it, for I should dread to disobey Twm Shon Catty more than twenty times my loss." On which he jumped, capered and danced, in the midst of his brittle commodities, kicking and treading the dishes, pans, basins, and other articles, to powder beneath his feet.

"By the Lord, thou art a strange fellow!" said Powell, as he paid him the amount of his forfeit; "and I foresee that there's much more luck for thee than thou dreamest of: and I confidently antic.i.p.ate what will come in thy favour, my Cardiganian hero."

Twm was much surprised to hear Powell speak thus, as his manner implied much more than his words; but his astonishment was considerably augmented when, in a subsequent conversation, our hero discovered that Powell knew all his affairs and connections with the lady of Ystrad Feen.

"She once," said he, "played me a jade's trick; but no matter, we are now friends, and she has even a.s.sisted me in my suit with her amiable friend, Miss Meredith. In heart and soul, she is attached to you, Jones; but she is a weak yielding woman beneath the terrors of her father's frown, and in some evil hour might again sacrifice herself, if you are too long out of her sight. She is proud of you and of your wild achievements, and even finds excuses for your most blameable courses. Now, my advice is, that you will endeavour to distinguish yourself during the races, and start for the gold plate: the grey horse, I suspect, has blood in him, and will beat the best that is to run."

"But why," asked Twm, "did she not keep her promise to meet me at Llandovery fair?"

Powell replied that she was prevented by her father's sudden illness; and great is her sorrow for the disappointment she must have caused.

On the following day the town speedily put on its gala dresses, and flags waved from every corner. Bells were rung and guns fired in honour of the festival, which consisted of a rather extensive programme, namely the Eisteddvod, Races, and Ball. Between eleven and twelve o'clock, our hero, with other musical and literary compet.i.tors, entered the Town-Hall, in bardic trim, with the harp of his friend Ianto Gwyn, slung by a blue ribbon, and attached to his shoulder.

The audience included all the intellect, taste, and fashion of the district, and the compet.i.tors were greeted on their appearance, with hearty and long-continued applause.

At length the business of the meeting was begun by a speech from the president, who occupied a central seat on the raised platform. He dwelt emphatically on the laudable object of the Eisteddvod; "to preserve from annihilation one of the most ancient languages spoken by mankind, remarkable for its perspicuousness, energy, and expression; that, like a perpetual living miracle, kept its firm stand in this solitary nook of country;-to revive and preserve the beautiful melodies which had been the delight of our gallant and patriotic forefathers;-and lastly by emulation, to keep alive the brilliant blaze of the native Awen, the darling poesy of the land, which yielded their fragrant and refreshing blossoms, lovely sacrifice on the altar of Taste."

Penillion singing succeeded; in which the minstrels of Merionethshire excelled. The rest went on in rotation, minutely according to the description given by the ever-faithful Drayton, to whose pages we refer the reader.

There was a surprise awaiting Twm. Among the given subjects for the Cowydd, or Poem, was "Govid," or Affliction, for which it turned out that there was but one who had written on it; and, to his unutterable astonishment, he heard his own poem on that t.i.tle recited, and more than all, a prize awarded to it by the umpires.

Lady Devereaux, who had attached her name to this effusion, was called upon to receive the meed of her talents. That lady, who sat by her father, as one of the audience, now rose, and said, with some emotion, that the poem so highly honoured was not of her composition, but had been sent to her by its author, a person of taste and ingenuity, whom she was bound ever to esteem; as to his valour and courtesy she had once been indebted for the preservation of her life. Then naming Mr. Thomas Jones as the author, she pointed him out; and, amid loud and long applause, a handsome silver medal was placed round his neck.

We will not occupy more s.p.a.ce in relating what the reader can so readily imagine. Our hero was the most successful compet.i.tor at the Eisteddvod, and at the Races. At the Ball too he won the admiration of the ladies, and withal, the wonder and esteem of the Breconians. But alas! the buoyancy of spirits, and the exultation of heart, which owed their evanescent existence to these distinction, were soon doomed to give way to feelings of contrasted severity.

Now, while in the zenith of his glory, confidently antic.i.p.ating, as the final crown of his happiness, the willing hand of his mistress, a note for him arrived at the inn, from the fair widow, that threw him into absolute despair. She told him in plain terms, that unless he could outwit her, all his hopes of her hand would be utterly in vain. This intimation he could understand only as a formal _permit_ to wear the willow as soon as he pleased; that she was otherwise engaged, and had altogether done with him.

His reasoning and conclusions in this argument received absolute and entire confirmation by the tantalising conduct of Miss Meredith, who accidentally meeting him one day, did nothing but laugh and jest at his anxious-looking face and restless behaviour. She would give no answers to his eager, importunate questioning, and ran away and left him, half wild and desperate. The next hour, at least, was spent by Twm in railing bitterly the "vile caprice and inconsistency of woman."

Hearing that her company had preceded her in the way home, next evening, and that she was about to follow them alone, he resolved to way-lay and put her under contribution, at any rate; which he conceived would be one way, at least, of out-witting her, and perhaps the right one.

He hastily a.s.sumed a dress which thoroughly disguised him, for his features were almost altogether concealed by a large hairy travelling cap, which he wore well down over his ears, and his figure was equally lost amongst the ample folds of a great coat, which had never been made for him.

His preparations made, he took his stand by the gate that in those days led from the town into the mountains, through which the road ran to Llanspyddyd, Trecastle, and Llandovery.

At length the gay widow arrived, and Twm immediately caught hold of her bridle, and, in an a.s.sumed snuffling tone of voice, demanded her money.

She begged hard for mercy on her pocket, but in vain; and gave at last a considerable sum, which, she said, was the whole contents of her pocket.

Our hero, having placed the booty in the crown of his cap, declared himself quite satisfied; "And so am I!" cried the spirited widow; and, at the same moment, grasping his cap and its whole contents, laughing aloud as she galloped away from him, she cried, "Thus the widow outwits and triumphs over Twm Shon Catty!"

Had Fortune determined to spite poor Twm Shon Catty as much as she had previously favoured him? It looked most unpleasantly like; for he had never been in such a deplorable condition as now, standing there in the road, glancing wistfully at the fast retreating figure of the widow. He was shorn of his laurels completely, and at once a bankrupt in love and fortune; as the cap contained the whole of the money he brought with him to Brecon, as well as what he had gained there.

This inauspicious adventure, although it damped his spirits for a time, had the ultimate effect of rousing his latent energies to the highest pitch. He was not long in hatching a scheme to forward his purposes, which, however, required the aid (which was soon offered to him) of Powell and his two friends.

Twelve o'clock the next morning saw him dismounting at the door of Ystrad Feen, accoutred in a military undress; originally used by him in London, as at present, for masquerading purposes. In this disguise, he expected immediate admittance as a stranger; but to his unutterable dismay, instead of finding the door fly open to his knock, it appeared to have been doubly barricaded against him.

After his repeated summons, the lady of the mansion, with pompous formality, appeared at the window, like the warder of a fortress holding a parley at the outpost. In a gay spirit of bantering, she declared that the military uniform became him exceedingly, and begged to know what rank he held in the army. Our hero parried these home-thrusts but with an ordinary degree of grace, and, in a bowed spirit, entreated admission to the inner walls. The lady Joan was quite peremptory in her refusal, declaring, that having lately heard so much to his disadvantage, she had decided on breaking off all future acquaintance with him as a lover; "especially," added she, "as, instead of the witty person I thought you, I find you quite a dull animal, that any school-girl might outwit."

Here she indulged in a provoking laugh, and bade him "good bye," as she turned to close the window.

"Nay then," said Twm in a desponding key, "if we are indeed to be henceforth strangers, as we have been friends, true and warm friends, you will give me your hand, at least, in parting." She slowly stretched out her hand through the window, and our hero, with the eager spring of a hungry tiger, darted forward, grasped her wrist with his left hand, and drawing his sword with the right, exclaimed in a tone of affected fury, "Revenge at least is left me-by yon blessed sky above us, I'll be trifled with no longer-off goes your hand unless you consent to our union this instant, and on this very spot."

"Lord! don't squeeze so hard and look so fierce," cried the lady of Ystrad Feen.

Twm, with increased boisterousness, resumed, "On your answer will depend, whether, for the remainder of your life, you have a single hand or a pair of them-for on the p.r.o.nouncing of a negative, this hand, this soft white hand, beautiful as it is, will instantly fly, severed from the wrist; and only think now, my gentle lady Joan, how dreadful you would look with a stump."

Twm looked determined enough, and what could a lady do in respectable society with only one hand? The idea was preposterous. In her vexation, she stretched her pretty neck out, and endeavoured to make her tormentor relax his grasp by inflicting a bite on the back of his hand. Twm seized this opportunity of imprinting a very decisive kiss on her check, on which she drew back her head, her face glowing radiantly with blushes.

"You villain!" cried she, "I suspected you were about to bite my ear off."

"No, only your hand, Joan," replied Twm; "and that I _will_ have, unless you consent to be mine this instant."

"I would not so much care," cried the lady of Ystrad Feen, "but your horrid name; I could not endure to be called Mrs. Twm Shon Catty."

"I have protested bitterly, and will not be foresworn," cried Twm, "that here, even here, with your hand stretched through the window, the marriage ceremony shall be performed; and so your answer at once without evasion."

"The parson of our parish has gone to a christening," said the lady of Ystrad Feen.

"Yes or no!" roared the terrific Twm, menacing the threatened blow.

"Well then, as I could not handle a knife or fork, or play my spinnet, or give you a box on the ear when I want pastime, I may as well say-Yes!"

"Bless thee for that," cried Twm in ecstacy, and eagerly kissed the captured hand. Sticking his sword in the ground, he drew forth a small bugle, and blew a loud blast that was re-echoed by the surrounding mountains. Immediately a party of ten persons, wearing masks, appeared, one of which was arrayed in a clerical habit, who drawing forth his book, at once commenced the marriage ceremony, Twm the while holding her hand through the window.

The Lady of Ystrad Feen had never calculated upon being married in this unceremonious fashion; but she was fairly at a loss, and therefore came to the conclusion to endure her fate, patiently and with resignation, yet in her heart very glad that she was under such a pleasant pressure of circ.u.mstances.

The ceremonial was nearly half over, when four windows of the first floor were suddenly opened, and several highly-dressed ladies and gentlemen put out their heads and displayed most mirthful countenances, the fair ones waving their whitest cambrics above their heads; and with shaking peals of laughter, looked down upon this singular wedding. The "ho, ho, ho!"

of the merry Prothero, was heard with surpa.s.sing loudness; and "Well done, Twm!" were the first words that the spirit of t.i.tillation permitted him to utter.

Notwithstanding this interruption, the ceremony was finished, and parson Hughes p.r.o.nounced them man and wife. Unwilling to loosen the hand which he now considered his own, our hero held it fast till he entered the house through the window.

Once within the mansion that now called him master, an amazing change of circ.u.mstances took place. The lady endearingly asked for forgiveness for her latter conduct, while Twm entreated the same for himself. Squire Prothero had been the author of many good offices for our hero; having conciliated Sir John Price, who, although a proud man, was also something of a humorist, as he proved himself in this instance. A plan was concerted to throw every impediment in the way of Twm's union, for him to surmount them as he could, to afford sport for the old baronet and his merry friend Prothero, in which trickery the lady herself was by promise compelled to join, which accounts for her latter conduct.

Being ushered by his bride into the drawing-room, our hero was introduced to, and warmly greeted by two most unexpected personages, his lady's father and his own! Sir John, who had been a visitor at the Priory-House for a week, was the gayest of the gay on this occasion. Placing an elegant tiara of jewels on her brow, the northern Baronet embraced her tenderly; and handing her to our hero, said, "Here, you lucky dog! prove thyself worthy of the blood of the Wynns, and that shall warm to thee yet."

This most unexampled wedding was followed in a few days by another ceremony more befitting the social position of Lady Devereaux, and at the same time Miss Meredith gave her hand to the delighted Justice Powell.

Somehow, it did not occur to any of the parties that its brilliance was much impaired by the absence of Miss Felina Tomtabby Price, and her high-minded sister. These stately spinsters determined to punish their family for this unprecedented proceeding, by withdrawing their countenance from them, and the degenerate world for ever.

Some of the _great_, (great fools!) that is to say, the most eminently useless residents of the then proud town of Brecon, were in the most embarra.s.sing state of dilemma on this occasion. They entertained very serious doubts as to the possibility of admitting our hero into their exquisitely select circle, on account of his left-handed origin; and more than all, his former questionable doings:-certain malignant spirits having insinuated suspicions of his once figuring in London as a black-leg, if not a thief. But as the patronizing influence of Sir John Price was scanned, they condescended to overlook these supposed peccadilloes; as it was decidedly proved to them that he had never vulgarized himself by any practice of usefulness in the world, by what they deemed worse than witchcraft in the debas.e.m.e.nt of gentility-the following of a trade or profession.

Our tale is almost ended; we have only to add a word or two with respect to our princ.i.p.al characters, as it would hardly be respectful to dismiss them without some appearance of attention.

Reparation having been made to all parties who were sufferers by our hero's faults and follies, the Gras.p.a.cres, father and son, by the good offices of Sir John Wynn and the friendly Prothero, were in time conciliated. The luckless Inco Evans had soon after to add to his other losses, that of his clerical gown, on account of a certain complaint preferred against him to his diocesan, by Miss Bessy Gwevel-heer: and his magisterial function was also numbered with the things that were, but are not. When despised and impoverished, in his old age, Twm stepped forward with timely aid, that more than compensated for the injuries he had ever done him.

Twm showed most kindly consideration for hungry Moses and his ever starving family, and made a praiseworthy attempt to fatten them up. All was in vain, and Moses was struck with wonder and admiration when he saw an unusually stout specimen of humanity.

The venerable Ianto Gwyn was installed as the family harper; while each and all of the humbler companions of his wild days, were acknowledged, befriended, and aided in their views in life.