The Color Of Her Panties Part 27

Che let out his breath. Gwenny had used her wand to catch Jenny. That had been Jenny's intent when she decided to be the last to cross, but Che had mislaid that notion when he saw the monster almost grab her.

Jenny landed safely before them. Che embraced her.

She wasn't as pretty as Gwenny, but she was his best friend, and he was greatly relieved to have her safe.

"Ha-ha, four-eyes!" Gobble said. "They gotcha spectacles! Now you're bat blind!"

Che suffered a surge of fury. He released Jenny and took a step toward the goblin brat. But Gobble was already rising into the air and floating over the chasm. Gwenny was just as angry.

"Don't drop me! Don't drop me!" he screamed. "I didn't mean nothing!"

Now Jenny realized what was happening. "Don't hurt him," she said. "He's just acting the way he is. That's what brats do."

Gwenny hesitated. Gobble shook over the chasm, because her hand was shaking on the wand. Che put his hand on hers and guided it so that the brat floated back to the regular cave floor and landed. He knew Jenny was right; a brat couldn't be blamed for being brattish. Also, Gwenny was supposed to protect her little brother, even if he was a disgrace to Goblin Mountain.

But how was Jenny to fare, now, without her spectacles?

The light was dim enough already, and this would probably indeed make her effectively blind.

Gwenny put her hands to her face. Che thought she was crying. But then she poked her own eye, and something came away from it. It was one of her magic contact lenses!

"Jenny, take this," Gwenny said, pressing the tiny lens into Jenny's hand. "Put it in your eye, and you will be able to see with that eye."

Jenny realized what it was. "But that's yours! You need it!"

"I have the other. We can share. One eye is good enough, down here.

When we get back to the surface, you can get another pair of spectacles, and it will be all right.

But down here, we need you to see, so you don't step off any more ledges."

Jenny had to acknowledge the truth of that. She rubbed the lens on her shirt, then brought it to her right eye. It went into place, and she blinked. "Oh, I can see again, better than before! But what's that Gobble has?"

Che looked. The brat was just standing there.

Gwenny looked. Her left eye had her lens. "Oh, that's his daydream.

The biggest, fattest bottle of tsoda popka ever filled. He lives for junk food." There was a trace of sadness in her voice, which Che understood: now that the three of them had joined the Adult Conspiracy, they were no longer supposed to be interested in junk food. It would take time to adjust to that privation.

Gobble looked at them. "Hey, are you %%%%s talking about me?"

"Oh, it disappeared," Jenny said.

"Because you jogged him out of his daydream," Che said, though he had never seen the dream.

"Gobble, if you keep using that word, I just may change my mind about dropping you in the gulf," Gwenny said.

Che could see why. That particular term was the most derogatory reference to the female persuasion that existed, which was why it was forbidden by the Conspiracy.

They returned to business. "I don't trust letting Sammy go ahead loose," Jenny said. "He could have plunged into that chasm himself."

"Maybe we could tie a tope to him, " Gwenny suggested.

"No, he wouldn't like that. Besides, it might snag and choke him. But we do need to find the-" she hesitated, not wanting the cat to take off "-whatever."

"Maybe you could hold him, and see which way he wants to go," Che said.

"Yes, let's try that," Jenny agreed, relieved. She held the cat in her arms. "Now, Sammy, I want you to stay with me, because it's dangerous here. But I also want to find the River Lethe, and by a safe route. So you just look the way you want to go, and we'll go there. Okay?"

The cat seemed satisfied to be carried. He looked down the tunnel ahead-and both girls jumped. "Look at that!" Gwenny cried, delighted.

"Oh, wonderful!" Jenny agreed.

"What do you see?" Che asked, mystified.

"Sammy is dreaming the route to the river," Gwenny answered. "It's like a map, with the path highlighted. Now we know exactly where to go."

"But doesn't your mentioning it make him stop?"

"No, it's still there," Jenny said. "Maybe because he's an animal, and he has a very fixed attention span. When he sets out to find something, he doesn't stop until he has either found it, or been stopped from finding it. I never knew exactly how that worked before."

"Hey," Gobble said, "you mean those lenses make you see things? Like dreams?"

"oops," Gwenny said. "We shouldn't have let him know that. He'll blab it all over the mountain."

"No, he won't," Che replied. "We're taking him to the Lethe, right? That will be just one more thing for him to forget."

"Hey, I'm not forgetting anything!" Gobble cried. "I'm going to remember all the great words, and how my stupid **** of a sister has to use a lens to see, which means she's blind too, so can't be chief, and how she's snooping on dreams."

"You may forget more than those things, if you don't shut your fowl mouth," Gwenny warned him tightly.

The brat shut up for a while, realizing that she was serious. He knew that a fowl mouth was the very foulest mouth, because it referred to the way a harpy talked.

They went on, more rapidly now, because the girls had the cat's mental map to follow. They wound down through what would have been truly awesome caverns if they had been in less of a serious hurry. But they couldn't complete the journey in one trek, so they made camp in a dead-end offshoot chamber and had a meal. They took turns visiting another region for private business, and Gobble had the wit not to call it $$$$ out loud.

Then they settled down to sleep. "I appoint you the watch," Gwenny told Gobble. "I'm sure you'll let us know if any monsters approach."

"Hey!" he protested. "Why me? I didn't ask to come here!

"Because you're the cause of this trip, because of the way you corrupted yourself with part of the Adult Conspiracy.

"Well, how do you know I won't tie you all up and steal that wand, so I can get out of here?

Gwenny handed him the wand. "Try it," she said.

He waved the wand. Nothing happened. "Hey-it's broke!

"No. It's just not attuned to you. You can't use it. And if you were to tie us up, you would have to make your way back alone. If you manage to get across the chasm, I'm sure the callicantzari will welcome you with open maws.

Gobble shut up. Che knew he wouldn't keep very good watch, but it didn't matter, because they had a.s.signed him the place at the chamber mouth. Any monster who came would eat him first. His screams would alert the rest of them. Then Gwenny would use the wand to float the monster elsewhere.

It worked perfectly. No monster came.

After a reasonable sleep, they ate again and resumed their journey.

Sammy's mental map remained clear to the girls, who seemed to do about as well with one seeing eye apiece as with two. He suspected that was because two eyes were necessary for the magic of depth perception, but dreams lacked depth and the caves had nothing but depth, which a single eye already knew.

Finally they reached the River Lethe. It was just a ribbon of dark water, evidently no more than a lost tributary, coming from some forgotten source and going to a forgotten end. But it was one of the most treacherous rivers of Xanth. Water from this river had caused the Good Magician Humfrey to forget his wife Rose for eighty years.

That had complicated his life somewhat, when he remembered.

Gwenny got out a small cup and dipped out a tiny driblet. She faced Gobble, who tried to cringe away. But there was nowhere he could go.

"Forget these words," she said, and sprinkled him with six drops. Then she gritted her teeth and uttered the awful crudities.

"% % % %, ****, ####, + + + +, $$$$, <><><><," she="" said,="" and="" then="" fell="" back,="" looking="" as="" if="" she="" wanted="" to="" wash="" her="" mouth="" out.="" che="" knew="" how="" she="" felt;="" he="" wanted="" to="" wash="" his="" ears="">

"It didn't work!" Gobble cried. "I still know them! I can say -! See?"

Then he reconsidered. "Aarrgh! It's gone!" He looked chagrined.

Gwenny dipped out another driblet. "Now you will forget that I have any problem with my vision, or that anyone uses contact lenses, or that anyone can see any dreams with them." She sprinkled him with three more drops.

"Ha!" the brat said. "When I get home, I'll tell all Xanth about-" He paused. "About-oh, mice! I know there's something!"

Gwenny nodded. "Mission accomplished, I think. I wish I could make him forget to be a brat, but without his brattiness he would disappear, because that's his essence.

"Now all we have to do is get safely back to the surface," Che said.

Somehow he knew it wouldn't be easy.

Chapter 11.

"You really shouldn't have threatened him," Ida said.

Mela nodded, shamefaced. "I know. I was desperate, and it was all I could think of under pressure."

"It's funny," Okra said musingly. "He did not seem frightened or angry, just amused. I wonder why?"

"Oh, I know!" Ida said, realizing. "Because that was the big Question he couldn't answer. So of course he would have made sure to learn it the moment the color was fixed.

Probably Sofia told him. He must have been prepared, and wouldn't have freaked out at all if he had seen them."

"Oh, I forgot!" Mela said, chagrined anew.

"But at least we got a hint," Ida said. "We have to go see Nada Naga. I wonder what she has to do with us?"

"I never heard of her before you told the story about Marrow Bones, Prince Dolph, and how he agreed to marry her," Okra said. "Is she acquainted with Jenny Elf?"

"I believe she is," Mela said. "But I don't think she would help you get rid of Jenny."

"Would she know anything about my destiny?" Ida asked, getting interested.

"I don't see why. But if our only hint for our Answers is to talk to her, then we'll talk to her. I understand she's a nice person, and when in her human form, one of Xanth's most beautiful women."

Ida looked at Mela, surprised. "You mean you're not?"

Mela seemed taken aback. "Why, I never thought about it. These legs aren't my usual state. I'm just a merwoman in drag, as it were.

"In what?"

"In a wrong body, inverted, reversed, seeming other than I am, stranded out of my element-"

"Footsore?"

"Whatever," Mela agreed, smiling.

Ida looked around. "Where do we find Nada Naga?"

Mela pondered. "I suppose we'll have to go to Castle Roogna and inquire. I understand she lived there while she was betrothed to Prince Dolph. They should know where she is now."

So they followed the enchanted path toward Castle Roogna. It was easy going, being fairly level, with regular camping places along the way.

Ida was rather intrigued by the prospect of meeting royalty.

There was a swirl of leaves before them. The swirl a.s.sumed the shape of a voluptuous nymph. "Did I overhear talk about beautiful women?" it inquired.

"You don't count, Metria," Ida replied. "You can a.s.sume any shape you want."

"And you don't tell the truth!" Mela said angrily.

"I always tell the truth," the demoness said indignantly. "Except about my age, which is none of your business.

"Not the whole truth. You didn't tell me to put on more than a panty."

The demoness shrugged that off as she stepped out from the settling leaves. "Well, you didn't ask me. What's this about Nada Serpent?"

Ida played the game. "Nada who?"

"Snake, reptile, python, half human, crossbreed-"

"Whatever?" Ida suggested.