The Clicking of Cuthbert - novelonlinefull.com
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"And then?"
"Then you admit it and release him from his engagement."
She sat for a while in silence. I could see that my words had made an impression.
"I think it's a splendid idea. Thank you very much." She rose and moved to the door. "I knew you would suggest something wonderful." She hesitated. "You don't think it would make it sound more plausible if I really took the vinaigrette?" she added, a little wistfully.
"It would spoil everything," I replied, firmly, as I reached for the vinaigrette and locked it carefully in my desk.
She was silent for a moment, and her glance fell on the carpet. That, however, did not worry me. It was nailed down.
"Well, good-bye," she said.
"_Au revoir_," I replied. "I am meeting Mortimer at six-thirty tomorrow. You may expect us round at your house at about eight."
Mortimer was punctual at the tryst next morning. When I reached the tenth tee he was already there. We exchanged a brief greeting and I handed him a driver, outlined the essentials of grip and swing, and bade him go to it.
"It seems a simple game," he said, as he took his stance. "You're sure it's fair to have the ball sitting up on top of a young sand-hill like this?"
"Perfectly fair."
"I mean, I don't want to be coddled because I'm a beginner."
"The ball is always teed up for the drive," I a.s.sured him.
"Oh, well, if you say so. But it seems to me to take all the element of sport out of the game. Where do I hit it?"
"Oh, straight ahead."
"But isn't it dangerous? I mean, suppose I smash a window in that house over there?"
He indicated a charming bijou residence some five hundred yards down the fairway.
"In that case," I replied, "the owner comes out in his pyjamas and offers you the choice between some nuts and a cigar."
He seemed rea.s.sured, and began to address the ball. Then he paused again.
"Isn't there something you say before you start?" he asked. "'Five', or something?"
"You may say 'Fore!' if it makes you feel any easier. But it isn't necessary."
"If I am going to learn this silly game," said Mortimer, firmly, "I am going to learn it _right_. Fore!"
I watched him curiously. I never put a club into the hand of a beginner without something of the feeling of the sculptor who surveys a ma.s.s of shapeless clay. I experience the emotions of a creator. Here, I say to myself, is a semi-sentient being into whose soulless carca.s.s I am breathing life. A moment before, he was, though technically living, a mere clod. A moment hence he will be a golfer.
While I was still occupied with these meditations Mortimer swung at the ball. The club, whizzing down, brushed the surface of the rubber sphere, toppling it off the tee and propelling it six inches with a slight slice on it.
"d.a.m.nation!" said Mortimer, unravelling himself.
I nodded approvingly. His drive had not been anything to write to the golfing journals about, but he was picking up the technique of the game.
"What happened then?"
I told him in a word.
"Your stance was wrong, and your grip was wrong, and you moved your head, and swayed your body, and took your eye off the ball, and pressed, and forgot to use your wrists, and swung back too fast, and let the hands get ahead of the club, and lost your balance, and omitted to pivot on the ball of the left foot, and bent your right knee."
He was silent for a moment.
"There is more in this pastime," he said, "than the casual observer would suspect."
I have noticed, and I suppose other people have noticed, that in the golf education of every man there is a definite point at which he may be said to have crossed the dividing line--the Rubicon, as it were--that separates the golfer from the non-golfer. This moment comes immediately after his first good drive. In the ninety minutes in which I instructed Mortimer Sturgis that morning in the rudiments of the game, he made every variety of drive known to science; but it was not till we were about to leave that he made a good one.
A moment before he had surveyed his blistered hands with sombre disgust.
"It's no good," he said. "I shall never learn this beast of a game. And I don't want to either. It's only fit for lunatics. Where's the sense in it? Hitting a rotten little ball with a stick! If I want exercise, I'll take a stick and go and rattle it along the railings. There's something _in_ that! Well, let's be getting along. No good wasting the whole morning out here."
"Try one more drive, and then we'll go."
"All right. If you like. No sense in it, though."
He teed up the ball, took a careless stance, and flicked moodily. There was a sharp crack, the ball shot off the tee, flew a hundred yards in a dead straight line never ten feet above the ground, soared another seventy yards in a graceful arc, struck the turf, rolled, and came to rest within easy mashie distance of the green.
"Splendid!" I cried.
The man seemed stunned.
"How did that happen?"
I told him very simply.
"Your stance was right, and your grip was right, and you kept your head still, and didn't sway your body, and never took your eye off the ball, and slowed back, and let the arms come well through, and rolled the wrists, and let the club-head lead, and kept your balance, and pivoted on the ball of the left foot, and didn't duck the right knee."
"I see," he said. "Yes, I thought that must be it."
"Now let's go home."
"Wait a minute. I just want to remember what I did while it's fresh in my mind. Let me see, this was the way I stood. Or was it more like this? No, like this." He turned to me, beaming. "What a great idea it was, my taking up golf! It's all nonsense what you read in the comic papers about people foozling all over the place and breaking clubs and all that. You've only to exercise a little reasonable care. And what a corking game it is! Nothing like it in the world! I wonder if Betty is up yet. I must go round and show her how I did that drive. A perfect swing, with every ounce of weight, wrist, and muscle behind it. I meant to keep it a secret from the dear girl till I had really learned, but of course I _have_ learned now. Let's go round and rout her out."
He had given me my cue. I put my hand on his shoulder and spoke sorrowfully.
"Mortimer, my boy, I fear I have bad news for you."
"Slow; back--keep the head---- What's that? Bad news?"
"About Betty."