The Circle Part 8

LADY KITTY. I never saw anyone so inconsiderate.

PORTEOUS. You'll keep us all waiting half an hour. I know you.

LADY KITTY. [_Fumbling in her bag._] Oh, well, peace at any price, as Lord Beaconsfield said.

PORTEOUS. He said a lot of d.a.m.ned silly things, Kitty, but he never said that.

[_LADY KITTY'S face changes. Perplexity is followed by dismay, and dismay by consternation._

LADY KITTY. Oh!

ELIZABETH. What is the matter?

LADY KITTY. [_With anguish._] My lip-stick!

ELIZABETH. Can't you find it?

LADY KITTY. I had it in the car. Hughie, you remember that I had it in the car.

PORTEOUS. I don't remember anything about it.

LADY KITTY. Don't be so stupid, Hughie. Why, when we came through the gates I said: "My home, my home!" and I took it out and put some on my lips.

ELIZABETH. Perhaps you dropped it in the car.

LADY KITTY. For heaven's sake send some one to look for it.

ARNOLD. I'll ring.

LADY KITTY. I'm absolutely lost without my lip-stick. Lend me yours, darling, will you?

ELIZABETH. I'm awfully sorry. I'm afraid I haven't got one.

LADY KITTY. Do you mean to say you don't use a lip-stick?

ELIZABETH. Never.

PORTEOUS. Look at her lips. What the devil d'you think she wants muck like that for?

LADY KITTY. Oh, my dear, what a mistake you make! You _must_ use a lip-stick. It's so good for the lips. Men like it, you know. I couldn't _live_ without a lip-stick.

[_CHAMPION-CHENEY appears at the window holding in his upstretched hand a little gold case._

C.-C. [_As he comes in._] Has anyone here lost a diminutive utensil containing, unless I am mistaken, a favourite preparation for the toilet?

[_ARNOLD and ELIZABETH are thunderstruck at his appearance and even TEDDIE and ANNA are taken aback. But LADY KITTY is overjoyed._

LADY KITTY. My lip-stick!

C.-C. I found it in the drive and I ventured to bring it in.

LADY KITTY. It's Saint Antony. I said a little prayer to him when I was hunting in my bag.

PORTEOUS. Saint Antony be blowed! It's Clive, by G.o.d!

LADY KITTY. [_Startled, her attention suddenly turning from the lip-stick._] Clive!

C.-C. You didn't recognise me. It's many years since we met.

LADY KITTY. My poor Clive, your hair has gone quite white!

C.-C. [_Holding out his hand._] I hope you had a pleasant journey down from London.

LADY KITTY. [_Offering him her cheek._] You may kiss me, Clive.

C.-C. [_Kissing her._] You don't mind, Hughie?

PORTEOUS. [_With a grunt._] Ugh!

C.-C. [_Going up to him cordially._] And how are you, my dear Hughie?

PORTEOUS. d.a.m.ned rheumatic if you want to know. Filthy climate you have in this country.

C.-C. Aren't you going to shake hands with me, Hughie?

PORTEOUS. I have no objection to shaking hands with you.

C.-C. You've aged, my poor Hughie.

PORTEOUS. Some one was asking me how old you were the other day.

C.-C. Were they surprised when you told them?

PORTEOUS. Surprised! They wondered you weren't dead.

[_The BUTLER comes in._

BUTLER. Did you ring, sir?

ARNOLD. No. Oh, yes, I did. It doesn't matter now.

C.-C. [_As the BUTLER is going._] One moment. My dear Elizabeth, I've come to throw myself on your mercy. My servants are busy with their own affairs. There's not a thing for me to eat in my cottage.

ELIZABETH. Oh, but we shall be delighted if you'll lunch with us.

C.-C. It either means that or my immediate death from starvation. You don't mind, Arnold?

ARNOLD. My dear father!