The Church of St. Bunco Part 8

Therein was this preachment:

"The Bible says that the teachings of Jesus rightly practised, will, _must_, set at variance the members of any household, some of whom do, and some of whom do not, imbibe the faith.... G.o.d's will be done. The command is still on the elect to come out from the world, and to separate and to shake the dust from their feet, of any house which will not receive the peace bestowed."

Mrs. Woodbury, having thus justified her religion and her economics by Scripture, proceeded to justify Scripture itself by the Absolute--the example of Mrs. Eddy. St. Josephine went on, in her letter, thus:

"When the Discerner of this Science first apprehended the demands of this Religion and system of ethics, she was forced to withdraw from the Congregational Church.... I have been informed, also, that not one of her family ever held her faith in anything but active contempt."

This latter revelation to St. Woodbury, regarding Saint Mary Baker Eddy and her relatives, is probably true. Others have received the same information. But when the chosen one was rejected of the Baker family, particularly of its affluent members, it is affirmed that the spirit of "Science" arose within Mary, like a mighty tantrum, and, recalling her early likeness to Samuel and the Hebrews, she exclaimed with "immortal mind," "I will yet roll in wealth!" These words of the prophetess-Mother are sweet to the ear of Christian Science, which admonishes its adherents to go and do likewise--a.s.suring them that if steadfast "in Science," they will be sure to stand solid in Dunn and Bradstreet.

It is well that our condition of existence, whatever may be its metaphysical bases, is not all tragedy, but is relieved by a border of comedy. According to a tale of Christian Science, as told by the Boston _Traveler_, Mrs. Woodbury, when in the prime of her healing illumination, with its full returns, felt on one occasion that piety would be advanced if a "loyal student" of hers--a lady of means--should add a promising husband to the true Church. It was done. Then, the ever-watchful "teacher"

sent forth on the wedding tour a third "loyal student"--a virgin with her lamp trimmed and burning--to see that neither of the other twain should lapse from grace and the certainty of further contributions.

The complaint against the _Traveler_ newspaper got into court on the 11th of January, 1897. Short work was made of it. Notwithstanding all the divine science incarnate in St. Josephine C. Woodbury, His Honor the Judge, Dewey by name, excluded her from the court-room, that she might not contribute to the examination of her witnesses any eye-beams of hypnotism.

As this book is not designed to be improperly personal, but simply an exposition of the claims, doctrines, and effects, of Christian Science, all unnecessary use of individual names must be avoided. But a few are indispensable; and people who are mentioned here have already got themselves corruscatingly into print.

The first witness for Mrs. Woodbury--who turned out also to be the last--was a Mr. Alfred M. Potter. He testified that he was a brother of Mrs. Fred D. Chamberlain--the lady said to be alienated from her husband--and that he and his sister boarded with the Woodburys. He was estranged from his family, he said, except that one sister, but Mrs.

Woodbury was not the cause of it.

As the _Traveler_ summed up one point of the court-records, Mr. Potter, in the past year, had paid the husband of Mrs. Woodbury thirteen thousand dollars outside of board and room. He had paid Mrs. Woodbury "between a thousand and eleven hundred dollars for instructions for himself." But, in the summer of 1896, there was a European trip for Mr. Potter and the Woodburys. How could a "loyal student," young and wealthy, venture abroad without his "teacher?" And why was not his money well expended for spiritual pleasures, on the way, if St. Josephine and Mr. Woodbury took good care of Mr. Potter, and brought him safe home?

But the most extraordinary matter in connection with Mr. Potter's depositions was a certain quasi-confirmation of a story that came to the _Traveler_ and had been published, alleging that, on the authority of Mrs.

Woodbury, the ancient and most infinitely closed of all miracles, "the immaculate conception," had been repeated under the advanced dispensation of Mother Eddy's religion. Such was declared by various "loyal students"

of Mrs. Woodbury to have been the claim of their exalted "teacher," to whom a son was born, named "Prince," an abbreviation of his full t.i.tle, "the Prince of Peace." Mr. Potter came short of corroborating the whole of this miracle, but gave substantially the version of it which Mrs. Woodbury presented to the public, after the trial, in the pages of her "War in Heaven." There she says:

"On the morning of June 11th, 1890, there was born to me a baby boy; though, till his sharp birth-cry saluted my ears, I had not realized that prospective maternity was the interpretation of preceding months of physical discomfort.... An hour after the birth I rose. In the afternoon I was up and dressed, and at night dined with my family.... We named our boy Prince Woodbury, partly because he came into our family as a veritable harbinger of peace."

Witness Potter testified that he understood, through Mrs. Woodbury, that "she had no knowledge of the birth of Prince" until she found him with her. This circ.u.mstance, he understood, "was through Christian Science."

When Mr. Potter, with a straight, truthful, honest face, gave this testimony, it naturally affected the gravity of the bench, the bar, and all others present, except Christian Scientists. There was reflected from one to another the sardonic smile of "mortal mind." But the case went on until presently a paper was put before Mr. Potter, by counsel for the defense, that it might be identified.

The paper never got before the court. But the contents of it were very peculiar. The paper, in fact, was a brutally blunt form of retraction on the part of Mr. Fred D. Chamberlain, of every derogatory criticism of Mrs.

Woodbury he had ever made, and a meek submission to her brand of "Christian Science." In the event of his not signing the paper, he was given to understand that he must depart from the abode of his wife.

The doc.u.ment, it appears, was in the handwriting of the "loyal student,"

Mrs. Chamberlain, and was dictated by Mrs. Woodbury. But when it was presented to Mr. Chamberlain for his signature, he had not only declined to attach his name to it, but had retained the doc.u.ment.

The Woodbury counsel quickly protested against the admission of such evidence, and the protest was judicious; for was not the whole case of "alienation" substantially set down on that paper? Hence, too, what would become of the libel-suit? But the court decided that the evidence was admissible. Then, in such a shocking plight, what could an able Woodbury lawyer do but decline, with virtuous indignation, to go on further with the case? The short of it was that Judge Dewey discharged the defendants, reprimanded the prosecution, and the noisy _Traveler_ had everything its own way.[50]

As for the Chamberlain suit for damages "in Science," it was not pursued to the monetary end. It was soon ascertained that the wife really had more affection for her delectable "teacher" than any "loyal student" could be expected to have for a mere husband. As a business necessity, a divorce was then procured by Mr. Chamberlain, on the ground of desertion, and the twain went separate ways.

It was not proved in Mrs. Woodbury's libel suit against the _Traveler_ that St. Josephine had claimed the full import of the _Traveler's_ story about her "Prince." The proceedings, we have seen, were prematurely stopped. But, after the newspaper's legal victory, it published sworn statements from a number of people who would have been its witnesses had the trial gone on. The most important was one made by Hon. George E.

Macomber, an ex-mayor of Augusta, Maine.[51] In the regular form of a legal deposition he declared that he had known Mrs. Woodbury for several years, his acquaintance with her having come through his wife, who had taken lessons of her. He said:

"My wife came one day and said Mrs. Woodbury had had a child down at Ocean Point which was a 'Second Christ,' was immaculately conceived, and that it was the duty of her students to make presents to this 'Second Christ.'"

Mr. Macomber declined to make presents, and, according to his statement, his wife's "eyes were opened," after a while, and she "pulled out" of "Science."

The _Traveler's_ other witnesses may pa.s.s. It is only essential to say that they were numerous, and that they all agreed with Mr. Macomber. One of them testified, in an interview, that he had once gone so far in neglect of his own family as to make a will in favor of "the Prince of Peace." But our direct point here is only this.--There would seem to be no doubt that St. Josephine Woodbury's "loyal students," far and wide, were called upon to bear gifts to her celestial son. Hence, his origin had palpable use as a financial mystery, whatever may have been its precise theological bearings.

In "Christian Science," the doctrine here recorded has been logically coupled with another doctrine--that of inconnubiality in wedlock. This tenet, we can see, like the former, might result in money, goods and bequests, for some attractive "teacher," which might otherwise be squandered by a "student" in raising a family.

But the principle here imbedded "in Science" has not been special to Mrs.

Woodbury. Mother Eddy herself is the crystal background of all good things, and this one, with the rest, must be credited to the fountain of universal originality, _Science and Health_.[52] The pure simplicity of any being who can seriously read that book to the end, inevitably fits him to maintain with Christian Scientists, that, if children be not given to parents under physical laws, the science of perfect purity will ultimately evolve "_Children of the Soul_." "My husband and I," recently exclaimed a vestal matron of Mrs. Eddy's following, "have long lived together as brother and sister: isn't it beautiful?" "Perhaps it is,"

replied another matron, thus addressed, "but I am told it is generally impracticable, except in Boston."

When last heard from, our contemporary "Prince of Peace" was a pretty school-boy of wit beyond his years. May the world smile kindly on "Prince Woodbury," who is in nowise to blame for any new-fangled religion; but may heaven preserve him from any further involution with the sacraments of "Christian Science."

Before bidding adieu to the heroine-martyr of our present chapter, one more instance must be given of her work in a careless world--a very sad instance, not to be treated lightly.

Among Mrs. Josephine Woodbury's "loyal students" for some time preceding the year 1897, was a hand-maiden of "Christian Science," one Mary Nash.

The story of poor little Mary was told in the Boston _Traveler_,[53]

chiefly in the words of her father, when that paper was sued for libel "in Science."

Mary Nash, as we summarize that story, lived at Augusta, Maine, and her father, like our witness Macomber, had been a mayor of that city. He was a busy man, but one who loved his daughter, and kept her in funds for what he regarded as harmless fads and amus.e.m.e.nts.

Mary joined the "loyal students." Then, little by little, she absented herself from Augusta, making frequent pilgrimages to Boston. The pilgrimages grew in duration, until her home was seldom her habitation.

"Teacher" Woodbury had not only changed her heart, but her whole tenor of mortal life, and Mary was completely born again into the most progressed fears and phases of "Christian Science."

Letters followed to her father, asking for money, and demanding that he and all his house should join "the loyal students." He forwarded the money as occasion required, but his unregenerate neck stiffly declined "Science." So Mary went no more to her father for weeks and months together. He sent her mother and brother to her, with prayers that she return to the family hearth-stone, if not to the family church. But she was always sequestered from the influence of her relatives, by some "loyal student" or other in the Woodbury collection of dutiful freaks.

Mary's soul was much disturbed at times, notwithstanding the religio-scientific consolations of her surrounding guardians. She began to demonstrate, in her own scattered little person, the one everlasting a.s.sumption of "Christian Science," that the human body is an illusion to be dispelled. In other words, Mary Nash was fast sinking into what ordinary doctors of medicine and divinity term illness, and it became extreme.

Then, not for the first time, her father, went to Boston himself, to take, if possible, his daughter back to his care and her mother's heart, at the Augusta home. But still, still--unless by some accident of a moment--she was always under the eye and the power of a "metaphysical" keeper. Then Mary said "no"--she "could not leave the fount of Christian Science." So she stayed in Boston; for she was of age, and could select her castle and companionship while she had the ways and means to maintain them.

Now what could a poor law-abiding citizen of New England, who had once been a mayor, do in such a case? Had Mary's father been a wild citizen of the West or the South, he might have taken his handy "gun" along with him, and removed his child or "cleaned out the ranch." But Maine and Ma.s.sachusetts are too subdued for such stringent remedies. So Mayor Nash mourned of "hypnotism," and offered--the distracted father that he was--five hundred dollars, to release his daughter from the blessings of her religion. This mercenary offer was spurned, as suspect perchance in legal and ecclesiastic form; but the way was pointed out in which the money might be received for lessons in Christian Science, at the Woodbury cut-rates.

Meanwhile, it being ascertained that Mary Nash had a modest bank-account in her name, the money was sent for, by herself nominally, but visibly through a person in the number seven shoes of a "loyal student." The bank men--who were not "in Science"--declined to pay Mary's demand, and referred the matter to her father. He agreed with the bank in holding the proceeds of his daughter's account, and his very stomach, not to say his soul, rejected the thought of exchanging cash for religious instruction from Mrs. Josephine C. Woodbury.

So little Mary Nash became of no further promise to "Christian Science."

And there was no time to lose. Mary was plainly departing from the state of deception--certainly such to _her_--called "earthly life." Hastily, at last, she was permitted to journey home with her father, and presently the sad man laid his daughter away in what to him was death.[54]

From the history of "Christian Science"--set down in these pages as the thing really is--it must be clear to anybody not quite emptied of all "mortal sense" that Mrs. Josephine C. Woodbury has been the most logical sequence, the most practical outcome, of the whole firmamental illumination.

But, that the Church of St. Bunco should grow and prosper--or should even hold its own among its honest innocents--it has been necessary for Mrs.

Eddy not only to preach "love" and "purity" in general, but to draw the line of practical conduct somewhere short of blackmail, larceny and homicide. St. Josephine Woodbury never committed a sin in her life. Sin has no reality "in Science." Her "loyal students" would all have testified that she was equal to any of the angels, if not better than the highest.

Yet a hard world around her, not understanding "true religion," began to fancy, say in 1896, that she was not, every second, fulfilling all the ten commandments. Then, besides her _War in Heaven_, the lady has written another book, called _Christian Voices_, in which, the thought having been long imputed to her, she asked the question, "Who shall succeed Mrs.

Eddy?" As _Science and Health_ declares there is no death, and as "Mother Eddy" is specially immortal, St. Josephine's carnal talk of the "Christian Science succession" was naturally regarded "in Science" as worse than blasphemy. Thus many things worked together against St. Josephine Woodbury, until at last she sat on "Mother" Eddy's burning f.a.gots and wore the crown of martyrdom.

Thereat the world did not come to an end, but went right on with the production of quacks, dupes, and "loyal students."

CHAPTER XI.

METAPHYSICS.[55]