The Century Handbook of Writing Part 34

5. The daily scramble for dear life to get aboard a trolley was like taking arms against a sea of troubles. Even standing room was conspicuous by its absence. Sheridan began to think along the line of getting to the office in some other way.

=The Exact Word=

=62. Find the exact word. Do not be content with a loose meaning. Seek the verb, the noun, the adjective, the adverb, or the phrase which expresses your thought with precision.= Such words as _said_, _proposition_, and _nice_ are often used too loosely. Observe the possible gain in definiteness by subst.i.tution.

For _said_ (verb): _declared_, _related_, _insisted_, _exclaimed_, _added_, _repeated_, _replied_, _admitted_, _commented_, _corrected_, _protested_, _explained_, _besought_, _interrupted_, _inquired_, _stammered_, _sighed_, _murmured_, or _thundered_.

For _proposition_ (noun): _transaction_, _undertaking_, _venture_, _recourse_, _suggestion_, _overture_, _proposal_, _proffer_, _convenience_, _difficulty_, _thesis_, or _doctrine_.

For _nice_ (adjective): _discriminating_, _precise_, _fastidious_, _dainty_, _neat_, _pretty_, _pleasant_, _fragrant_, _delicious_, _well-behaved_, _good_, or _moral_.

Inexact verb: He had not sufficiently _regarded_ the difficulties of the task [Use _considered_].

Inexact noun: Promptness is an _item_ which a manager should possess [Use _quality_].

Inexact adjective: He looked _awfully funny_ when I told him he had made a mistake [Use _surprised_].

Inexact phrasing throughout: Health is first in every line of activity. A man who has it does not hold it with enough respect, and make efforts enough to keep it.

Right: Health is indispensable to success in any work. Even those who have it do not realize its value.

Exercise:

1. He was proud of the honorable record he had gained.

2. He resolved that some day he would be a banker, and I shall tell you how he tried to do so.

3. Isn't the sunset grand? Isn't it nice to be out of doors?

4. The mystery as to which ones of the piano keys to play was hard for him to acquire.

5. If the package comes by freight, you must negotiate the proposition of getting it home; but if it comes by express, the delivery is done free.

=Concreteness=

=63. Concrete words are often more effective than vague, general, or abstract words.=

Not specific: She held herself aloof from her brothers' games and amus.e.m.e.nts.

Concrete: She never played soldier or sailed paper boats with her brothers.

No appeal to the senses: I liked to watch the servant girl as she moved about the kitchen, preparing our morning repast.

Concrete: I liked to watch Norah as she fried our crisp breakfast bacon and browned our buckwheat cakes.

Flat, not readily visualized: The first inhabitants overcame the barriers to settlement about a century ago.

Concrete: Rough backwoodsmen broke through the underbrush and swamp-land a century ago.

Exercise:

1. The scientist discovered a bird in a tree.

2. Our hostess set before us many good things to eat.

3. The sailor was carving queer figures on a piece of soft wood.

4. The night watchman heard something that made him suspicious.

5. I stood at the door of the shop to watch the astonishing things the blacksmith was doing.

=Sound=

=64. Avoid the frequent repet.i.tion of a sound, especially if it be harsh or unpleasant.=

Bad: He is an exceedingly orderly secretary.

Better: As a secretary he is very systematic. [Or] The secretary is very systematic.

Bad: Immediately the squirrel hid himself behind the hickory tree.

Better: Immediately the squirrel dodged behind the hickory tree.

Unfortunate rime: Bert did not dare to go home with wet hair.

Better: Bert did not dare to go home with his hair wet. [Or]

Bert was afraid to go home with wet hair.

Exercise:

1. That Christmas happened to be unusually happy.

2. I fear we must sit near the rear of the room.

3. The Jackies went clambering and scurrying up the rigging.

4. The ship slips anchor while the idlers sip tea on the deck.

5. The third treasure-seeker heard a thud. His pick had struck an obstruction.

=Subtle Violations of Good Use: Faulty Idioms, Colloquialisms=

=65. Avoid subtle violations of good use, particularly (a) faulty idioms and (b) colloquialisms.=

=a. Make your expression conform to English idiom.= A faulty idiom is an expression which, though correct in grammar and general meaning, combines words in a manner contrary to usage. Idioms are established by custom, and cannot be explained by logical rules. "I enjoy to read" is wrong, not because the words offend logic or grammar, but merely because people do not instinctively make that combination of words. "I like to read" and "I enjoy reading" are good idioms.