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Some of the girls laughed, some, I think, thought her as silly as she was.
"Where do you come from?" was the next question.
"Come from?" I repeated. "I don't know."
At this they all did laugh, and I suppose it was only natural. Suddenly Harriet Smith made a sort of dash at me.
"Oh, I say," she exclaimed. "I know. She's going to sleep in our room. I saw them putting sheets on the bed in the corner, but Jane wouldn't tell me who they were for. Emma," she called out loudly to a girl of fourteen or fifteen, "Emma, I say, she's going to sleep in our room I'm sure."
Emma Smith was taller and thinner and paler than her sister, but still they were rather like. Perhaps it was for that very reason that they got on so badly--they might have been better friends if they had been more unlike. As it was, they quarrelled constantly, and I must say it was generally Harriet's fault. She was very spoilt, but she had something hearty and merry about her, and so had Emma. They were the daughters of a rich Great Mexington manufacturer, and they had no mother. They were favourites in the school, partly I suspect because they had lots of pocket money, and used to invite their companions to parties in the holidays. But they were not mean or insincere, though rough and noisy--more like boys than girls.
Emma came bouncing forward.
"I say," she began to me, "if it's true you're to sleep in our room I hope you understand you must do what I tell you. I'm the eldest. You're not to back up Harriet to disobey me."
"No," I said. "I don't want to do anything like that."
"Well, then," said Harriet, "you'll be Emma's friend, not mine."
My face fell, and I suppose Harriet saw it. She came closer to me and looked at me well, as if expecting me to answer. But for the first time since I had been in my new surroundings I felt more than bewildered--I felt frightened and lonely, terribly lonely.
"Oh, mamma," I thought to myself, "I wish I could see you to tell you about it. It isn't a bit like what I thought it would be."
But I said nothing aloud. I think now that if I had burst out crying it would have been better for me, but I had very little power of expressing myself, and Haddie had instilled into me a great horror of being a cry-baby at school.
In their rough way, however, several of the girls were kind-hearted, the two Smiths perhaps as much so as any. Harriet came close up to me.
"I'm only in fun," she said; "of course we'll be friends. I'll tell you how we'll do," and she put her fat little arm round me in a protecting way which I much appreciated. "Come over here," she went on in a lower voice, "where none of the big ones can hear what we say," and she drew me, nothing loth, to the opposite corner of the room.
As we pa.s.sed through the group of older girls standing about, one or two fragments of their talk reached my ears.
"Yes--I'm sure it's the same. He's a bank clerk, I think. I've heard papa speak of them. They're awfully poor--come-down-in-the-world sort of people."
"Oh, then, I expect when she's old enough she'll be a governess--perhaps she'll be a sort of teacher here to begin with."
Then followed some remark about looking far ahead, and a laugh at the idea of "the monkey" ever developing into a governess.
But after my usual fashion it was not till I thought it over afterwards that I understood that it was I and my father they had been discussing.
In the meantime I was enjoying a confidential talk with Harriet Smith--that is to say, I was listening to all she said to me; she did not seem to expect me to say much in reply.
I felt flattered by her condescension, but I did not in my heart feel much interest in her communications. They were mostly about Emma--how she tried to bully her, Harriet, because she herself was five years older, and how the younger girl did not intend to stand it much longer.
Emma was as bad as a boy.
"As bad as a boy," I repeated. "I don't know what you mean."
"That's because you've not got a brother, I suppose," said Harriet. "Our brother's a perfect nuisance. He's so spoilt--papa lets him do just as he likes. Emma and I hate the holidays because of him being at home. But it's the worst for me, you see. Emma hates Fred bullying her, so she might know I hate her bullying me."
This was all very astonishing to me.
"I have a brother," I said after a moment or two's reflection.
"Then you know what it is. Why didn't you say so?" asked Harriet.
"Because I don't know what it is. Haddie never teases me. I love being with him."
"My goodness! Then you're not like most," said Harriet elegantly, opening her eyes.
She asked me some questions after this--as to where we lived, how many servants we had, and so on. Some I answered--some I could not, as I was by no means as worldly-wise as this precocious young person.
She gave me a great deal of information about school--she hated the governesses, except the old lady, and she didn't care about her much.
Miss Broom was her special dislike. But she liked school very well, she'd been there a year now, and before that she had a daily governess at home, and it was very dull indeed. What had I done till now--had I had a governess?
"Oh no," I said. "I had mamma."
"Was she good to you," asked my new friend, "or was she very strict?"
I stared at Harriet. Mamma was strict, but she was very, very good to me. I said so.
"Then why are you a boarder?" she asked. "_We_'ve not got a mamma, but even if we had I'm sure she wouldn't teach us herself. I suppose your mamma isn't rich enough to pay for a governess for you."
"I don't know," I said simply. I had never thought in this way of mamma's teaching me, but I was not at all offended. "I don't think any governess would be as nice as mamma."
"Then why have you come to school?" inquired Harriet.
"Because"--"because father and mamma have to go away," I was going to say, when suddenly the full meaning of the words seemed to rush over me.
A strange giddy feeling made me shut my eyes and I caught hold of Harriet's arm.
"What's the matter?" she said wonderingly, as I opened my eyes and looked at her again.
"I'd rather not talk about mamma just now," I said. "I'll tell you afterwards."
"Up in our room," said Harriet, "oh yes, that'll be jolly. We've got all sorts of dodges."
But before she had time to explain more, or I to ask her why "dodges"--I knew the meaning of the word from Haddie--were required, a bell rang loudly.
Instantly the hubbub ceased, and there began a sort of silent scramble--the elder girls collecting books and papers and hurrying to their places; the younger ones rushing upstairs to the other schoolroom, I following.
In a few minutes we were all seated round the long tables. It was a sewing afternoon, and to my great delight I saw that Miss Fenmore, the pretty governess whom I had taken such a fancy to, though I had not yet spoken to her, was now in Miss Broom's place.
Mamma had provided me with both plain work and a little simple fancy work, but as my things were not yet unpacked, I had neither with me, and I sat feeling awkward and ashamed, seeing all the others busily preparing for business.
"Have you no work, my dear?" said Miss Fenmore gently. It was the first kind speech I had had from a governess.
"It isn't unpacked," I said, feeling my cheeks grow red, I did not know why.
Miss Fenmore hesitated for a moment. Then she took out a stocking--or rather the beginning of one on knitting-needles.
"Can you knit?" she asked.