The Carmina of Caius Valerius Catullus Part 5

Aureli, pater essuritionum, Non harum modo, sed quot aut fuerunt Aut sunt aut aliis erunt in annis, Pedicare cupis meos amores.

Nec clam: nam simul es, iocaris una, 5 Haeres ad latus omnia experiris.

Frustra: nam insidias mihi instruentem Tangem te prior inrumatione.

Atque id si faceres satur, tacerem: Nunc ipsum id doleo, quod essurire, 10 A me me, puer et sitire discet.

Quare desine, dum licet pudico, Ne finem facias, sed inrumatus.

XXI.

TO AURELIUS THE SKINFLINT.

Aurelius, father of the famisht crew, Not sole of starvelings now, but wretches who Were, are, or shall be in the years to come, My love, my dearling, fain art thou to strum.

Nor privately; for nigh thou com'st and jestest 5 And to his side close-sticking all things questest.

'Tis vain: while lay'st thou snares for me the worst, By ---- I will teach thee first.

An food-full thus do thou, my peace I'd keep: But what (ah me! ah me!) compels me weep 10 Are thirst and famine to my dearling fated.

Cease thou so doing while as modest rated, Lest to thy will thou win--but ----

Aurelius, father of the famished, in ages past in time now present and in future years yet to come, thou art longing to paedicate my love. Nor is't done secretly: for thou art with him jesting, closely sticking at his side, trying every means. In vain: for, instructed in thy artifice, I'll strike home beforehand by irrumating thee. Now if thou didst this to work off the results of full-living I would say naught: but what irks me is that my boy must learn to starve and thirst with thee. Wherefore, desist, whilst thou mayst with modesty, lest thou reach the end,--but by being irrumated.

XXII.

Suffenus iste, Vare, quem probe nosti, h.o.m.ost venustus et dicax et urba.n.u.s, Idemque longe plurimos facit versus.

Puto esse ego illi milia aut decem aut plura Perscripta, nec sic ut fit in palimpseston 5 Relata: chartae regiae, novei libri, Novei umbilici, lora rubra, membrana Derecta plumbo, et pumice omnia aequata.

Haec c.u.m legas tu, bellus ille et urba.n.u.s Suffenus unus caprimulgus aut fossor 10 Rursus videtur; tantum abhorret ac mutat.

Hoc quid putemus esse? qui modo scurra Aut siquid hac re scitius videbatur, Idem infacetost infacetior rure, Simul poemata attigit, neque idem umquam 15 Aequest beatus ac poema c.u.m scribit: Tam gaudet in se tamque se ipse miratur.

Nimirum idem omnes fallimur, nequest quisquam, Quem non in aliqua re videre Suffenum Possis. suus cuique attributus est error: 20 Sed non videmus, manticae quod in tergost.

XXII.

TO VARUS ABUSING SUFFENUS.

Varus, yon wight Suffenus known to thee Fairly for wit, free talk, urbanity, The same who scribbles verse in amplest store-- Methinks he fathers thousands ten or more Indited not as wont on palimpsest, 5 But paper-royal, brand-new boards, and best Fresh bosses, crimson ribbands, sheets with lead Ruled, and with pumice-powder all well polished.

These as thou readest, seem that fine, urbane Suffenus, goat-herd mere, or ditcher-swain 10 Once more, such horrid change is there, so vile.

What must we wot thereof? a Droll erst while, Or (if aught) cleverer, he with converse meets, He now in dullness, dullest villain beats Forthright on handling verse, nor is the wight 15 Ever so happy as when verse he write: So self admires he with so full delight.

In sooth, we all thus err, nor man there be But in some matter a Suffenus see Thou canst: his lache allotted none shall lack 20 Yet spy we nothing of our back-borne pack.

That Suffenus, Varus, whom thou know'st right well, is a man fair spoken, witty and urbane, and one who makes of verses lengthy store. I think he has writ at full length ten thousand or more, nor are they set down, as of custom, on palimpsest: regal paper, new boards, unused bosses, red ribands, lead-ruled parchment, and all most evenly pumiced. But when thou readest these, that refined and urbane Suffenus is seen on the contrary to be a mere goatherd or ditcher-lout, so great and shocking is the change. What can we think of this? he who just now was seen a professed droll, or e'en shrewder than such in gay speech, this same becomes more boorish than a country boor immediately he touches poesy, nor is the dolt e'er as self-content as when he writes in verse,--so greatly is he pleased with himself, so much does he himself admire. Natheless, we all thus go astray, nor is there any man in whom thou canst not see a Suffenus in some one point. Each of us has his a.s.signed delusion: but we see not what's in the wallet on our back.

XXIII.

Furei, quoi neque servos est neque arca Nec cimex neque araneus neque ignis, Verumst et pater et noverca, quorum Dentes vel silicem comesse possunt, Est pulchre tibi c.u.m tuo parente 5 Et c.u.m coniuge lignea parentis.

Nec mirum: bene nam valetis omnes, Pulchre concoquitis, nihil timetis, Non incendia, non graves ruinas, Non furta inpia, non dolos veneni, 10 Non casus alios periculorum.

Atqui corpora sicciora cornu Aut siquid magis aridumst habetis Sole et frigore et essuritione.

Quare non tibi sit bene ac beate? 15 A te sudor abest, abest saliva, Mucusque et mala pituita nasi.

Hanc ad munditiem adde mundiorem, Quod culus tibi purior salillost, Nec toto decies cacas in anno, 20 Atque id durius est faba et lapillis; Quod tu si manibus teras fricesque, Non umquam digitum inquinare possis.

Haec tu commoda tam beata, Furi, Noli spernere nec putare parvi, 25 Et sestertia quae soles precari Centum desine: nam sat es beatus.

XXIII.

TO FURIUS SATIRICALLY PRAISING HIS POVERTY.

Furius! Nor chest, nor slaves can claim, Bug, Spider, nor e'en hearth aflame, Yet thine a sire and step-dame who Wi' tooth can ever flint-food chew!

So thou, and pleasant happy life 5 Lead wi' thy parent's wooden wife.

Nor this be marvel: hale are all, Well ye digest; no fears appal For household-arsons, heavy ruin, Plunderings impious, poison-brewin' 10 Or other parlous case forlorn.

Your frames are hard and dried like horn, Or if more arid aught ye know, By suns and frosts and hunger-throe.

Then why not happy as thou'rt hale? 15 Sweat's strange to thee, spit fails, and fail Phlegm and foul snivel from the nose.

Add cleanness that aye cleanlier shows A b.u.m than salt-pot cleanlier, Nor ten times cack'st in total year, 20 And harder 'tis than pebble or bean Which rubbed in hand or crumbled, e'en On finger ne'er shall make unclean.

Such blessings (Furius!) such a prize Never belittle nor despise; 25 Hundred sesterces seek no more With wonted prayer--enow's thy store!

O Furius, who neither slaves, nor coffer, nor bug, nor spider, nor fire hast, but hast both father and step-dame whose teeth can munch up even flints,--thou livest finely with thy sire, and with thy sire's wood-carved spouse. Nor need's amaze! for in good health are ye all, grandly ye digest, naught fear ye, nor arson nor house-fall, thefts impious nor poison's furtive cunning, nor aught of perilous happenings whatsoe'er. And ye have bodies drier than horn (or than aught more arid still, if aught there be), parched by sun, frost, and famine. Wherefore shouldst thou not be happy with such weal. Sweat is a stranger to thee, absent also are saliva, phlegm, and evil nose-snivel. Add to this cleanliness the thing that's still more cleanly, that thy backside is purer than a salt-cellar, nor cackst thou ten times in the total year, and then 'tis harder than beans and pebbles; nay, 'tis such that if thou dost rub and crumble it in thy hands, not a finger canst thou ever dirty. These goodly gifts and favours, O Furius, spurn not nor think lightly of; and cease thy 'customed begging for an hundred sesterces: for thou'rt blest enough!

XXIIII.

O qui flosculus es Iuventiorum, Non horum modo, sed quot aut fuerunt Aut posthac aliis erunt in annis, Mallem divitias Midae dedisses Isti, quoi neque servus est neque arca, 5 Quam sic te sineres ab illo amari.

'Qui? non est h.o.m.o bellus?' inquies. est: Sed bello huic neque servos est neque arca.

Hoc tu quam lubet abice elevaque: Nec servom tamen ille habet neque arcam. 10

XXIIII.

TO JUVENTIUS CONCERNING THE CHOICE OF A FRIEND.

O of Juventian youths the flowret fair Not of these only, but of all that were Or shall be, coming in the coming years, Better waste Midas' wealth (to me appears) On him that owns nor slave nor money-chest 5 Than thou shouldst suffer by his love possest.

"What! is he vile or not fair?" "Yes!" I attest, "Yet owns this man so comely neither slaves nor chest My words disdain thou or accept at best Yet neither slave he owns nor money-chest." 10

O thou who art the floweret of Juventian race, not only of these now living, but of those that were of yore and eke of those that will be in the coming years, rather would I that thou hadst given the wealth e'en of Midas to that fellow who owns neither slave nor store, than that thou shouldst suffer thyself to be loved by such an one. "What! isn't he a fine-looking man?" thou askest. He is; but this fine-looking man has neither slaves nor store. Contemn and slight this as it please thee: nevertheless, he has neither slave nor store.

XXV.

Cinaede Thalle, mollior cuniculi capillo Vel anseris medullula vel imula oricilla Vel pene languido senis situque araneoso, Idemque Thalle turbida rapacior procella, c.u.m diva munerarios ostendit oscitantes, 5 Remitte pallium mihi meum, quod involasti, Sudariumque Saetab.u.m catagraphosque Thynos, Inepte, quae palam soles habere tamquam avita.

Quae nunc tuis ab unguibus reglutina et remitte, Ne laneum latusculum ma.n.u.sque mollicellas 10 Inusta turpiter tibi flagella conscribillent, Et insolenter aestues velut minuta magno Deprensa navis in mari vesaniente vento.

XXV.

ADDRESS TO THALLUS THE NAPERY-THIEF.

Thou bardache Thallus! more than Coney's robe Soft, or goose-marrow or ear's lowmost lobe, Or Age's languid yard and cobweb'd part, Same Thallus greedier than the gale thou art, When the Kite-G.o.ddess shows thee Gulls agape, 5 Return my m.u.f.fler thou hast dared to rape, Saetaban napkins, tablets of Thynos, all Which (Fool!) ancestral heirlooms thou didst call.

These now unglue-ing from thy claws restore, Lest thy soft hands, and floss-like flanklets score 10 The burning scourges, basely signed and lined, And thou unwonted toss like wee barque tyned 'Mid vasty Ocean vexed by madding wind!

O Thallus the catamite, softer than rabbit's fur, or goose's marrow, or lowmost ear-lobe, limper than the drooping p.e.n.i.s of an oldster, in its cobwebbed must, greedier than the driving storm, such time as the Kite-G.o.ddess shews us the gaping Gulls, give me back my mantle which thou hast pilfered, and the Saetaban napkin and Thynian tablets which, idiot, thou dost openly parade as though they were heirlooms. These now unglue from thy nails and return, lest the stinging scourge shall shamefully score thy downy flanks and delicate hands, and thou unwonted heave and toss like a tiny boat surprised on the vasty sea by a raging storm.

XXVI.

Furi, villula nostra non ad Austri Flatus oppositast neque ad Favoni Nec saevi Boreae aut Apeliotae, Verum ad milia quindecim et ducentos.

O ventum horribilem atque pestilentem! 5

XXVI.

CATULLUS CONCERNING HIS VILLA.

Furius! our Villa never Austral force Broke, neither set thereon Favonius' course, Nor savage Boreas, nor Epeliot's strain, But fifteen thousand crowns and hundreds twain Wreckt it,--Oh ruinous by-wind, breezy bane! 5