The Carmina of Caius Valerius Catullus Part 11

Prithee Catullus, why delay thine death? Nonius the tumour is seated in the curule chair, Vatinius forswears himself for consul's rank: prithee Catullus, why delay thine death?

LIII.

Risi nescioquem modo e corona, Qui, c.u.m mirifice Vatiniana Meus crimina Calvos explica.s.set, Admirans ait haec ma.n.u.sque tollens, 'Di magni, salaputium disertum!' 5

LIII.

A JEST CONCERNING CALVUS.

I laughed at one 'mid Forum-crowd unknown Who, when Vatinius' crimes in wondrous way Had by my Calvus been explained, exposed, His hand upraising high admiring cried "Great G.o.ds! the loquent little Doodle-diddle!" 5

I laughed at I know not whom in the crowded court who, when with admirable art Vatinius' crimes my Calvus had set forth, with hands uplifted and admiring mien thus quoth "Great G.o.ds, the fluent little Larydoodle!"

LIIII.

Othonis caput oppidost pusillum * * * *

Neri rustica semilauta crura, Subtile et leve peditum Libonis.

Si non omnia displicere vellem Tibi et Fuficio seni recocte 5

LIIIIb.

Irascere iterum meis iambis Inmerentibus, unice imperator.

LIIII.

TO JULIUS CaeSAR. (?)

The head of Otho, puniest of pates * * * *

The rustic half-washt shanks of Nerius And Libo's subtle silent fizzling-farts.

I wish that leastwise these should breed disgust In thee and old Fuficius, rogue twice-cookt. 5

LIIIIb.

Again at these mine innocent iamb-lines Wi' wrath be wrothest; unique Emperor!

Otho's head is paltry past all phrase * * * the uncouth semi-soaped shanks of Nerius, the slender soundless fizzlings of Libo * * * if not all things I wish would displease thee and Fuficius, the white-headed and green-tailed.

Anew thou shalt be enraged at my harmless iambics, emperor unique.

LV.

Oramus, si forte non molestumst, Demostres, ubi sint tuae tenebrae.

Te campo quaesivimus minore, Te in circo, te in omnibus libellis, Te in templo summi Iovis sacrato. 5 In Magni simul ambulatione Femellas omnes, amice, prendi, Quas vultu vidi tamen serenas.

A, vel te sic ipse flagitabam, 'Camerium mihi, pessimae puellae.' 10 Quaedam inquit, nudum sinum reducens, 'En heic in roseis latet papillis.'

Sed te iam ferre Herculei labos est. 13 Non custos si fingar ille Cretum, 23 Non si Pegaseo ferar volatu, Non Ladas ego pinnipesve Perseus, 25 Non Rhesi nivea citaque biga: Adde huc plumipedes volatilesque, Ventorumque simul require cursum: Quos cunctos, Cameri, mihi dicares, Defessus tamen omnibus medullis 30 Et multis langoribus peresus Essem te mihi, amice, quaeritando. 32 Tanto ten fastu negas, amice? 14 Dic n.o.bis ubi sis futurus, ede Audacter, conmitte, crede lucei.

Num te lacteolae tenent puellae?

Si linguam clauso tenes in ore, Fructus proicies amoris omnes: Verbosa gaudet Venus loquella. 20 Vel si vis, licet obseres palatum, Dum vostri sim particeps amoris.

LV.

OF HIS FRIEND CAMERIUS.

We pray, an' haply irk it not when prayed, Show us where shadowed hidest thou in shade!

Thee throughout Campus Minor sought we all, Thee in the Circus, thee in each bookstall, Thee in Almighty Jove's fane consecrate. 5 Nor less in promenade t.i.tled from The Great (Friend!) I accosted each and every quean, But mostly madams showing mien serene, For thee I pestered all with many pleas-- "Give me Camerius, wanton baggages!" 10 Till answered certain one a-baring b.r.e.a.s.t.s "Lo, 'twixt these rosy paps he haply rests!"

But now to find thee were Herculean feat. 13 Not if I feigned me that guard of Crete, 23 Not if with Pegasean wing I sped, Or Ladas I or Perseus plumiped, 25 Or Rhesus borne in swifty car snow-white: Add the twain foot-bewing'd and fast of flight, And of the cursive winds require the blow: All these (Camerius!) couldst on me bestow.

Tho' were I wearied to each marrow bone 30 And by many o' languors clean forgone Yet I to seek thee (friend!) would still a.s.say. 32 In such proud lodging (friend) wouldst self denay? 14 Tell us where haply dwell'st thou, speak outright, Be bold and risk it, trusting truth to light, Say do these milk-white girls thy steps detain?

If aye in tight-sealed lips thy tongue remain, All Amor's fruitage thou shalt cast away: Verbose is Venus, loving verbal play! 20 But, an it please thee, padlockt palate bear, So in your friendship I have partner-share.

We beg, if maybe 'tis not untoward, thou'lt shew us where may be thine haunt sequestered. Thee did we quest within the Lesser Fields, thee in the Circus, thee in every bookshop, thee in holy fane of highmost Jove. In promenade yclept "The Great," the crowd of cocottes straightway did I stop, O friend, accosting those whose looks I noted were unruffled. And for thee loudly did I clamour, "Restore to me Camerius, most giddy girls." Quoth such-an-one, her bosom bare a-shewing, "Look! 'twixt rose-red paps he shelters him." But labour 'tis of Hercules thee now to find. Not were I framed the Cretan guard, nor did I move with Pegasean wing, nor were I Ladas, or Persius with the flying foot, or Rhesus with swift and snowy team: to these add thou the feathery-footed and winged ones, ask likewise fleetness of the winds: which all united, O Camerius, couldst thou me grant, yet exhausted in mine every marrow and with many a faintness consumed should I be in my quest for thee, O friend. Why withdraw thyself in so much pride, O friend? Tell us where thou wilt be found, declare it boldly, give up the secret, trust it to the light. What, do the milk-white maidens hold thee? If thou dost hold thy tongue closed up in mouth, thou squanderest Love's every fruit: for Venus joys in many-worded babblings.

Yet if thou wishest, thou mayst bar thy palate, if I may be a sharer in thy love.

LVI.

Orem ridiculam, Cato, et iocosam Dignamque auribus et tuo cachinno.

Ride, quidquid amas, Cato, Catullum: Res est ridicula et nimis iocosa.

Deprendi modo pupulum puellae 5 Trusantem: hunc ego, si placet Dionae, Protelo rigida mea cecidi.

LVI.

TO CATO, DESCRIBING A "BLACK JOKER."

O risible matter (Cato!) and jocose, Digne of thy hearing, of thy sneering digne.

Laugh (Cato!) an thou love Catullus thine; The thing is risible, nay, too jocose.

Erstwhile I came upon a lad who a la.s.s 5 Was ---- and (so please it Dion!) I Pierced him with stiffest staff and did him die.

O thing ridiculous, Cato, and facetious, and worthy of thine ears and of thy laughter. Laugh, Cato, the more thou lovest Catullus: the thing is ridiculous, and beyond measure facetious. Just now I caught a boy a-thrusting in a girl: and on him (so please you, Dione) with rigid spear of mine I fell.

LVII.

Pulcre convenit inprobis cinaedis, Mamurrae pathicoque Caesarique.

Nec mirum: maculae pares utrisque, Vrbana altera et illa Formiana, Inpressae resident nec eluentur: 5 Morbosi pariter, gemelli utrique Vno in lectulo, erudituli ambo, Non hic quam ille magis vorax adulter, Rivales sociei puellularum.

Pulcre convenit inprobis cinaedis. 10

LVII.

ON MAMURRA AND JULIUS CaeSAR.

Right well are paired these Cinaedes sans shame Mamurra and Caesar, both of pathic fame.

No wonder! Both are fouled with foulest blight, One urban being, Formian t'other wight, And deeply printed with indelible stain: 5 Morbose is either, and the twin-like twain Share single Couchlet; peers in shallow lore, Nor this nor that for lechery hungers more, As rival wenchers who the maidens claim Right well are paired these Cinaedes sans shame. 10

A comely couple of shameless catamites, Mamurra and Caesar, pathics both.

Nor needs amaze: they share like stains--this, Urban, the other, Formian,--which stay deep-marked nor can they be got rid of. Both morbidly diseased through pathic vice, the pair of twins lie in one bed, alike in erudition, one not more than other the greater greedier adulterer, allied rivals of the girls. A comely couple of shameless catamites.

LVIII.

Caeli, Lesbia nostra, Lesbia illa, Illa Lesbia, quam Catullus unam Plus quam se atque suos amavit omnes, Nunc in quadriviis et angiportis Glubit magnanimos Remi nepotes. 5