The Canterbury Tales, and Other Poems Part 52

But first," quoth he, "here at this ale-stake* *ale-house sign <8> I will both drink, and biten on a cake."

But right anon the gentles gan to cry, "Nay, let him tell us of no ribaldry.

Tell us some moral thing, that we may lear* *learn Some wit,* and thenne will we gladly hear." *wisdom, sense "I grant y-wis,"* quoth he; "but I must think *surely Upon some honest thing while that I drink."

Notes to the Prologue to the Pardoner's Tale

1. The nails and blood of Christ, by which it was then a fashion to swear.

2. Mediaeval medical writers; see note 36 to the Prologue to the Tales.

3. Boist: box; French "boite," old form "boiste."

4. Erme: grieve; from Anglo-Saxon, "earme," wretched.

5. Cardiacle: heartache; from Greek, "kardialgia."

6. Corpus Domini: G.o.d's body.

7. Corny ale: New and strong, nappy. As to "moist," see note 39 to the Prologue to the Tales.

8. (Transcriber's Note)In this scene the pilgrims are refreshing themselves at tables in front of an inn. The pardoner is drunk, which explains his boastful and revealing confession of his deceits.

THE TALE <1>

Lordings (quoth he), in churche when I preach, I paine me to have an hautein* speech, *take pains **loud <2> And ring it out, as round as doth a bell, For I know all by rote that I tell.

My theme is always one, and ever was; Radix malorum est cupiditas.<3> First I p.r.o.nounce whence that I come, And then my bulles shew I all and some; Our liege lorde's seal on my patent, That shew I first, *my body to warrent,* *for the protection That no man be so hardy, priest nor clerk, of my person*

Me to disturb of Christe's holy werk.

And after that then tell I forth my tales.

Bulles of popes, and of cardinales, Of patriarchs, and of bishops I shew, And in Latin I speak a wordes few, To savour with my predication, And for to stir men to devotion Then show I forth my longe crystal stones, Y-crammed fall of cloutes* and of bones; *rags, fragments Relics they be, as *weene they* each one. *as my listeners think*

Then have I in latoun* a shoulder-bone *bra.s.s Which that was of a holy Jewe's sheep.

"Good men," say I, "take of my wordes keep;* *heed If that this bone be wash'd in any well, If cow, or calf, or sheep, or oxe swell, That any worm hath eat, or worm y-stung, Take water of that well, and wash his tongue, And it is whole anon; and farthermore Of pockes, and of scab, and every sore Shall every sheep be whole, that of this well Drinketh a draught; take keep* of that I tell. *heed

"If that the goodman, that the beastes oweth,* *owneth Will every week, ere that the c.o.c.k him croweth, Fasting, y-drinken of this well a draught, As thilke holy Jew our elders taught, His beastes and his store shall multiply.

And, Sirs, also it healeth jealousy; For though a man be fall'n in jealous rage, Let make with this water his pottage, And never shall he more his wife mistrist,* *mistrust *Though he the sooth of her defaulte wist;* *though he truly All had she taken priestes two or three. <4> knew her sin*

Here is a mittain* eke, that ye may see; *glove, mitten He that his hand will put in this mittain, He shall have multiplying of his grain, When he hath sowen, be it wheat or oats, So that he offer pence, or elles groats.

And, men and women, one thing warn I you; If any wight be in this churche now That hath done sin horrible, so that he Dare not for shame of it y-shriven* be; *confessed Or any woman, be she young or old, That hath y-made her husband c.o.kewold,* *cuckold Such folk shall have no power nor no grace To offer to my relics in this place.

And whoso findeth him out of such blame, He will come up and offer in G.o.d's name; And I a.s.soil* him by the authority *absolve Which that by bull y-granted was to me."

By this gaud* have I wonne year by year *jest, trick A hundred marks, since I was pardonere.

I stande like a clerk in my pulpit, And when the lewed* people down is set, *ignorant I preache so as ye have heard before, And telle them a hundred j.a.pes* more. *jests, deceits Then pain I me to stretche forth my neck, And east and west upon the people I beck, As doth a dove, sitting on a bern;* *barn My handes and my tongue go so yern,* *briskly That it is joy to see my business.

Of avarice and of such cursedness* *wickedness Is all my preaching, for to make them free To give their pence, and namely* unto me. *especially For mine intent is not but for to win, And nothing for correction of sin.

I recke never, when that they be buried, Though that their soules go a blackburied.<5> For certes *many a predication *preaching is often inspired Cometh oft-time of evil intention;* by evil motives*

Some for pleasance of folk, and flattery, To be advanced by hypocrisy; And some for vainglory, and some for hate.

For, when I dare not otherwise debate, Then will I sting him with my tongue smart* *sharply In preaching, so that he shall not astart* *escape To be defamed falsely, if that he Hath trespa.s.s'd* to my brethren or to me. *offended For, though I telle not his proper name, Men shall well knowe that it is the same By signes, and by other circ.u.mstances.

Thus *quite I* folk that do us displeasances: *I am revenged on*

Thus spit I out my venom, under hue Of holiness, to seem holy and true.

But, shortly mine intent I will devise, I preach of nothing but of covetise.

Therefore my theme is yet, and ever was, -- Radix malorum est cupiditas. <3> Thus can I preach against the same vice Which that I use, and that is avarice.

But though myself be guilty in that sin, Yet can I maken other folk to twin* *depart From avarice, and sore them repent.

But that is not my princ.i.p.al intent; I preache nothing but for covetise.

Of this mattere it ought enough suffice.

Then tell I them examples many a one, Of olde stories longe time gone; For lewed* people love tales old; *unlearned Such thinges can they well report and hold.

What? trowe ye, that whiles I may preach And winne gold and silver for* I teach, *because That I will live in povert' wilfully?

Nay, nay, I thought it never truely.

For I will preach and beg in sundry lands; I will not do no labour with mine hands, Nor make baskets for to live thereby, Because I will not beggen idlely.

I will none of the apostles counterfeit;* *imitate (in poverty) I will have money, wool, and cheese, and wheat, All* were it given of the poorest page, *even if Or of the pooreste widow in a village: All should her children sterve* for famine. *die Nay, I will drink the liquor of the vine, And have a jolly wench in every town.

But hearken, lordings, in conclusioun; Your liking is, that I shall tell a tale Now I have drunk a draught of corny ale, By G.o.d, I hope I shall you tell a thing That shall by reason be to your liking; For though myself be a full vicious man, A moral tale yet I you telle can, Which I am wont to preache, for to win.

Now hold your peace, my tale I will begin.

In Flanders whilom was a company Of younge folkes, that haunted folly, As riot, hazard, stewes,* and taverns; *brothels Where as with lutes, harpes, and giterns,* *guitars They dance and play at dice both day and night, And eat also, and drink over their might; Through which they do the devil sacrifice Within the devil's temple, in cursed wise, By superfluity abominable.

Their oathes be so great and so d.a.m.nable, That it is grisly* for to hear them swear. *dreadful <6> Our blissful Lorde's body they to-tear;* *tore to pieces <7> Them thought the Jewes rent him not enough, And each of them at other's sinne lough.* *laughed And right anon in come tombesteres <8> Fetis* and small, and younge fruitesteres.** *dainty **fruit-girls Singers with harpes, baudes,* waferers,** *revellers **cake-sellers Which be the very devil's officers, To kindle and blow the fire of lechery, That is annexed unto gluttony.

The Holy Writ take I to my witness, That luxury is in wine and drunkenness. <9> Lo, how that drunken Lot unkindely* *unnaturally Lay by his daughters two unwittingly, So drunk he was he knew not what he wrought.

Herodes, who so well the stories sought, <10> When he of wine replete was at his feast, Right at his owen table gave his hest* *command To slay the Baptist John full guilteless.

Seneca saith a good word, doubteless: He saith he can no difference find Betwixt a man that is out of his mind, And a man whiche that is drunkelew:* *a drunkard <11> But that woodness,* y-fallen in a shrew,* *madness **one evil-tempered Persevereth longer than drunkenness.

O gluttony, full of all cursedness; O cause first of our confusion, Original of our d.a.m.nation, Till Christ had bought us with his blood again!

Looke, how deare, shortly for to sayn, Abought* was first this cursed villainy: *atoned for Corrupt was all this world for gluttony.

Adam our father, and his wife also, From Paradise, to labour and to woe, Were driven for that vice, it is no dread.* *doubt For while that Adam fasted, as I read, He was in Paradise; and when that he Ate of the fruit defended* of the tree, *forbidden <12> Anon he was cast out to woe and pain.

O gluttony! well ought us on thee plain.

Oh! wist a man how many maladies Follow of excess and of gluttonies, He woulde be the more measurable* *moderate Of his diete, sitting at his table.

Alas! the shorte throat, the tender mouth, Maketh that east and west, and north and south, In earth, in air, in water, men do swink* *labour To get a glutton dainty meat and drink.

Of this mattere, O Paul! well canst thou treat Meat unto womb,* and womb eke unto meat, *belly Shall G.o.d destroye both, as Paulus saith. <13> Alas! a foul thing is it, by my faith, To say this word, and fouler is the deed, When man so drinketh of the *white and red,* *i.e. wine*

That of his throat he maketh his privy Through thilke cursed superfluity The apostle saith, <14> weeping full piteously, There walk many, of which you told have I, -- I say it now weeping with piteous voice, -- That they be enemies of Christe's crois;* *cross Of which the end is death; womb* is their G.o.d. *belly O womb, O belly, stinking is thy cod,* *bag <15> Full fill'd of dung and of corruptioun; At either end of thee foul is the soun.

How great labour and cost is thee to find!* *supply These cookes how they stamp, and strain, and grind, And turne substance into accident, To fulfill all thy likerous talent!

Out of the harde bones knocke they The marrow, for they caste naught away That may go through the gullet soft and swoot* *sweet Of spicery and leaves, of bark and root, Shall be his sauce y-maked by delight, To make him have a newer appet.i.te.

But, certes, he that haunteth such delices Is dead while that he liveth in those vices.

A lecherous thing is wine, and drunkenness Is full of striving and of wretchedness.

O drunken man! disfgur'd is thy face,<16> Sour is thy breath, foul art thou to embrace: And through thy drunken nose sowneth the soun', As though thous saidest aye, Samsoun! Samsoun!

And yet, G.o.d wot, Samson drank never wine.

Thou fallest as it were a sticked swine; Thy tongue is lost, and all thine honest cure;* *care For drunkenness is very sepulture* *tomb Of manne's wit and his discretion.

In whom that drink hath domination, He can no counsel keep, it is no dread.* *doubt Now keep you from the white and from the red, And namely* from the white wine of Lepe,<17> *especially That is to sell in Fish Street <18> and in Cheap.

This wine of Spaine creepeth subtilly -- In other wines growing faste by, Of which there riseth such fumosity, That when a man hath drunken draughtes three, And weeneth that he be at home in Cheap, He is in Spain, right at the town of Lepe, Not at the Roch.e.l.le, nor at Bourdeaux town; And thenne will he say, Samsoun! Samsoun!

But hearken, lordings, one word, I you pray, That all the sovreign actes, dare I say, Of victories in the Old Testament, Through very G.o.d that is omnipotent, Were done in abstinence and in prayere: Look in the Bible, and there ye may it lear.* *learn Look, Attila, the greate conqueror, Died in his sleep, <19> with shame and dishonour, Bleeding aye at his nose in drunkenness: A captain should aye live in soberness And o'er all this, advise* you right well *consider, bethink What was commanded unto Lemuel; <20> Not Samuel, but Lemuel, say I.

Reade the Bible, and find it expressly Of wine giving to them that have justice.

No more of this, for it may well suffice.

And, now that I have spoke of gluttony, Now will I you *defende hazardry.* *forbid gambling*

Hazard is very mother of leasings,* *lies And of deceit, and cursed forswearings: Blasphem' of Christ, manslaughter, and waste also Of chattel* and of time; and furthermo' *property It is repreve,* and contrar' of honour, *reproach For to be held a common hazardour.

And ever the higher he is of estate, The more he is holden desolate.* *undone, worthless If that a prince use hazardry, In alle governance and policy He is, as by common opinion, Y-hold the less in reputation.

Chilon, that was a wise amba.s.sador, Was sent to Corinth with full great honor From Lacedemon, <21> to make alliance; And when he came, it happen'd him, by chance, That all the greatest that were of that land, Y-playing atte hazard he them fand.* *found For which, as soon as that it mighte be, He stole him home again to his country And saide there, "I will not lose my name, Nor will I take on me so great diffame,* *reproach You to ally unto no hazardors.* *gamblers Sende some other wise amba.s.sadors, For, by my troth, me were lever* die, *rather Than I should you to hazardors ally.

For ye, that be so glorious in honours, Shall not ally you to no hazardours, As by my will, nor as by my treaty."

This wise philosopher thus said he.

Look eke how to the King Demetrius The King of Parthes, as the book saith us, Sent him a pair of dice of gold in scorn, For he had used hazard therebeforn: For which he held his glory and renown At no value or reputatioun.