The Cabinet Minister Part 54

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Half-a-dozen lessons at store prices. Dash it all, you wouldn't 'ave me waste 'em!

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Hopeless!

[SIR JULIAN enters un.o.bserved by Lebanon or LADY TWOMBLEY.]

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Look 'ere, Lady T! I'm sorry to disappoint a lady, but it ain't Mr.

Joseph Lebanon's principle to do something for nothing.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

No. If you lent a lady your arm you'd do it at interest.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

I'm not alludin' to our pleasant financial relationship, Lady T. What I infer is that if after the forthcoming hop I drag myself away from my sorrowin' friends at Drumdurris I expect a--ah--a solatium. [SIR JULIAN remains watching and listening.]

LADY TWOMBLEY.

A what?

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Lady T, my pride has been wounded in this 'ouse--my self-respect has been 'urt.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Ha, ha, ha! Pardon me, I'm hysterical.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

If you could 'eal my feelings by rendering me a service----

LADY TWOMBLEY.

To be rid of you?

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Oh, Lady T, 'ow plainly you put it! Well, yes.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Try me. [SIR JULIAN disappears suddenly.]

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

'Ush! Thought I 'eard somebody. Lady T, you are aware that Mr. Joseph Lebanon's position in the financial world is an eminent one.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

I wasn't aware of it.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Take it from me, Lady T, take it from me. But that distinguished position might be advanced by the success of some delicate little financial operations which I'm on the brink of, Lady Twombley, on the brink of. Lady T, if I could know twenty-four hours in advance of the prying newspapers the decision of the Government on the Rajputana Ca.n.a.l Question it would go far to 'eal the wound my self-respect has received in this _recherche_ 'Ighland 'ome. You follow me, Lady T?

LADY TWOMBLEY.

I suppose you mean that when the decision of the Government is known in the City something or other will go up and something or other will go down on the Stock Exchange? Is that it?

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

That's it, Lady T, that's it! And some fellers will make fortunes! Oh, Lady T!

LADY TWOMBLEY.

But why do you bother a poor woman with a headache----

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Because without the gentle guidance of tender-hearted woman I can't find out whether the Government is going to grant the concession for the cutting of the Rajputana Ca.n.a.l. Oh, Lady Twombley, let me 'ave five minutes alone with Sir Julian's papers in Sir Julian's room.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Mr. Lebanon!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Two minutes! A stroll round. I'll go in with a duster and tidy up.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Oh!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Or give me a glimpse of some of the doc.u.ments Mr. Melton brought with him in that box yesterday.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

I want some fresh air!