The Burglar Who Liked To Quote Kipling Part 22

The old man looked up from his paper. "Now that was quick," he said.

"Like a bunny," I agreed, and signed myself out.

CHAPTEREighteen "I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you all here." suppose you're wondering why I summoned you all here."

Well, how often do you get to use a line like that? Here they all were, gathered together at Barnegat Books. When I bought the store from old Litzauer I'd had visions of little informal a.s.semblies like this one. Sunday-afternoon poetry readings, say, with little gla.s.ses of medium-dry sherry and a tray of cuc.u.mber sandwiches handed round. Literary kaffee klatsches, with everybody smoking European cigarettes and arguing about what Ionesco really meant. I figured it would bring people around and garner the shop some useful word-of-mouth publicity. More to the point, it sounded like a great way to meet girls.

This evening's convocation was not quite what I'd had in mind. No one was snarling in iambs or trochees. Kafka's name had not come up. The store had already had more publicity than it needed. And I didn't expect to meet any girls.

The only one on hand, Carolyn, was perched on the high stool I used for fetching the loftier volumes from the loftier shelves. She sat off to one side, while the rest of my guests were strung out in an irregular half-circle facing the sales counter. I myself was standing behind the counter; I didn't have a chair to sit on because the one I usually kept behind the counter was occupied at the moment by Prescott Demarest.

See, my place was a bookstore, not a library. There weren't enough chairs to go around. The Maharajah of Ranchipur had the best seat in the house, a swivel-based oak armchair from my office in back. Atman Singh, his spine like a ramrod, sat upon an upended wooden packing case that had held Rome Beauty apples sometime in the dim past before Mr. Litzauer used it to store surplus stock. Rudyard Whelkin had a folding chair Carolyn had brought over from the Poodle Factory.

I hadn't introduced anyone to anyone else, nor had any of them seen fit to offer small talk about football or the weather or crime in the streets. They'd arrived not in a body but all within a fairly brief span of time, and they'd remained remarkably silent until I did my suppose-you're-wondering number. Even then, all I got was a bunch of sharp stares.

"Actually," I went on, "you all know why I summoned you here. Otherwise you wouldn't have come. We're here to discuss a book and a murder."

A hush didn't fall over the room. You can't have everything.

"The murder," I went on, "was that of Madeleine Porlock. She was shot the day before yesterday in her apartment on East Sixty-sixth Street. The killer shot her once in the forehead, using a .32-caliber automatic pistol. The gun was a Marley Devil Dog, and the killer left it at the scene of the crime. He also left me at the scene of the crime, unconscious, with the murder gun in my hand."

The Maharajah frowned in thought. "You are saying you did not kill the woman."

"I am indeed. I was there to deliver a book. I was supposed to get paid for the book. Instead I got drugged and framed, drugged by Miss Porlock and framed by the man who killed her. But"-I smiled brightly-"I still have the book."

I also had their attention. While they watched, silent as stones, I reached under the counter and came up with The Deliverance of Fort Bucklow. The Deliverance of Fort Bucklow. I flipped it open at random and read: I flipped it open at random and read: "Old Eisenberg was a crafty codWith the cunning of his breed,And he ate a piece of honey cakeAnd he drank a gla.s.s of mead,And he wiped his lips and his fingertipsWhile he swore a solemn oathThat if they should go by Fort BucklowThey'd perish-not one but both."

I closed the book. "Horrid last line," I said. "Bad verse is when you can tell which line is there to rhyme with the other, and the whole book's like that. But it didn't become the object of our attention because of its literary merits. It's unique, you see. One of a kind. A pearl beyond price, a published work of Kipling's of which only one copy exists. And this is it, right here."

I set the book on the counter. "At the time I agreed to steal this book," I went on, "it was in the personal library of a gentleman named Jesse Arkwright. I was reliably informed that he had acquired it by private negotiation with the heirs of Lord Ponsonby, who withdrew it from a scheduled auction and sold it to him." I fixed my gaze on Rudyard Whelkin. "There may have been a Lord Ponsonby," I said. "There may still be a Lord Ponsonby. But that is not how Jesse Arkwright got his copy of The Deliverance of Fort Bucklow. The Deliverance of Fort Bucklow."

Demarest asked how he'd got it.

"He bought it," I said, "from the very man who engaged me to steal it back. The arrangements for the original sale were worked out by Madeleine Porlock."

The Maharajah wanted to know how she came into it.

"She was Arkwright's mistress," I told him. "She was also a lifelong acquaintance of my client, who told her that he'd come into possession of an exceedingly desirable book. She in turn remarked that a friend of hers-one might almost say client client-was a pa.s.sionate collector with an enthusiasm for books. It only remained to bring buyer and seller together."

"And the sale went through?" Demarest seemed puzzled. "Then why would the seller want to steal the book back? Just because of its value?"

"No," I said. "Because of its lack of value."

"Then it is counterfeit," said the Maharajah.

"No. It's quite genuine."

"Then..."

"I wondered about that," I said. "I tried to figure out a way that the book could be a phony. It could be done, of course. First you'd have to find someone to write thirty-two hundred lines of doggerel in a fair approximation of Kipling's style. Then you'd have to find a printer to hand-set the thing, and he'd need a stock of fifty-year-old paper to run it off on. Maybe you could use fresh stock and fake it, but"-I tapped the book-"that wasn't done here. I handle books every day and I know old paper. It looks and feels and smells different.

"But even if you had the paper, and if you could print the thing and have it bound and then distress it in a subtle fashion so that it looked well-preserved, how could you come out ahead on the deal? Maybe, if you found the absolutely right buyer, you could get a five-figure price for it. But you'd have about that much invested in the book by then, so where's your profit?"

"If the book is genuine," the Maharajah said, "how can it be worthless?"

"It's not literally worthless. The day after I stole it, a gentleman tried to take it from me at gunpoint. As luck would have it"-I smiled benignly at Atman Singh-"he selected the wrong book by mistake. But he tried to placate me by giving me five hundred dollars, and coincidentally enough, that's a fair approximation of the book's true value. It might even be worth a thousand to the right buyer and after the right sort of build-up, but it's certainly not worth more than that."

"Hey, c'mon, Bern." It was Carolyn piping up from the crow's nest. "I feel like I missed a few frames, and I was around for most of it. If it's supposed to be worth a fortune, and it's not a phony, why's it only worth five hundred or a thousand?"

"Because it's genuine," I said. "But it's not unique. Kipling had the book privately printed in 1923 in a small edition. That much was true. What wasn't true was the appealing story about his incinerating every copy but one. There are quite a few copies in existence."

"Interesting thought," Prescott Demarest said. He was dressed as he'd been when Carolyn took his picture, but then I'd simply been able to see that he was wearing a dark suit. Now I could see that it was navy blue, with a muted stripe that had been invisible in the photograph. He straightened in my chair now. "So the book's one of many," he said. "How do you know that, Rhodenbarr?"

"How did I find it out?" It wasn't quite the question he'd asked but it was one I felt like answering. "I stole a copy from Jesse Arkwright's house Wednesday night. Thursday I delivered that copy to Madeleine Porlock's apartment. I was drugged and the book was gone when I came to. Then last night I returned to the Porlock apartment"-gratifying, the way their eyes widened-"and found The Deliverance of Fort Bucklow The Deliverance of Fort Bucklow in a shoe box in the closet. in a shoe box in the closet.

"But it wasn't the same copy. I figured it was possible that she could have stowed the book in the closet before admitting her killer to the apartment. But wouldn't he look for the book before he left? Wouldn't he have held the gun on her and made her deliver it before shooting her? He'd taken the trouble to scoop up five hundred dollars of my money before he left. Either he or Porlock took the money out of my back pocket, and if she took it, then he must have taken it from her himself, because it wasn't there to be found." The cops could have taken it, I thought, but why muddy the waters by suggesting that possibility?

"My copy was all neatly wrapped in brown paper," I went on. "Now Madeleine Porlock might have unwrapped it before she hid it, just to make sure it wasn't a reprint copy of Soldiers Three Soldiers Three or something equally tacky." I avoided Atman Singh's eyes. "If so, what happened to the brown paper? I didn't see it on the floor when I came to. Granted, I might not have noticed it or much else under the circ.u.mstances, but I looked carefully for that paper when I tossed the apartment last night, and it just plain wasn't there. The killer wouldn't have taken it and the police would have had no reason to disturb it, so what happened to it? Well, the answer's clear enough now. It was still fastened around the book when the killer walked off with it. Madeleine Porlock most likely had the wrapped book in her hands when he shot her, and he took it as is." or something equally tacky." I avoided Atman Singh's eyes. "If so, what happened to the brown paper? I didn't see it on the floor when I came to. Granted, I might not have noticed it or much else under the circ.u.mstances, but I looked carefully for that paper when I tossed the apartment last night, and it just plain wasn't there. The killer wouldn't have taken it and the police would have had no reason to disturb it, so what happened to it? Well, the answer's clear enough now. It was still fastened around the book when the killer walked off with it. Madeleine Porlock most likely had the wrapped book in her hands when he shot her, and he took it as is."

"That's quite a conclusion," Rudyard Whelkin said. "My boy, it would seem that your only clues were clues of omission. Rather like the dog that didn't bark, eh? Five hundred missing dollars, a missing piece of brown paper. Rather thin ice, wouldn't you say?"

"There's something else."

"Oh?"

I nodded. "It's nothing you could call evidence. Pure subjective judgment. I sat up reading that book Wednesday night. I held it in my hands, I turned the pages. Last night I had my hands on it again and it wasn't the same book. It was inscribed to H. Rider Haggard, same as the copy I stole from Arkwright, but there was something different about it. I once knew a man with a yard full of laying hens. He swore he could tell those birds apart. Well, I can tell books apart. Maybe one had some pages dog-eared or a differently shaped water stain-G.o.d knows what. They were different books. And, once I realized that, I had a chance to make sense of the whole business."

"How?"

"Let's say, just hypothetically, that someone turned up a carton of four or five dozen books in the storage room of a shuttered printshop in Tunbridge Wells." I glanced at Whelkin. "Does that sound like a reasonable estimate?"

"It's your hypothesis, my boy."

"Call it fifty copies. The entire edition, or all that remains of it, outside of the legendary long-lost copy the author was supposed to have presented to H. Rider Haggard. Now what would those books bring on the market? A few hundred dollars apiece. They'd be legitimate rarities, and Kipling's becoming something of a hot ticket again, but this particular work is not only a minor effort but distinctly inferior in the bargain. It has curiosity value rather than literary value. The books would still be worth hauling home from the printshop, but suppose they could be hawked one at a time as unique specimens? Suppose each one were furnished with a forged inscription in a fair approximation of Kipling's handwriting? It's hard to produce a new book and make it look old, but it's not too tricky to scribble a new inscription in an old book. I'm sure there are ways to treat ink so that it looks fifty years old, with that iridescence some old inscriptions have.

"So my client did this. He autographed the books or had some artful forger do it for him, and then he began testing the waters, contacting important collectors, perhaps representing the book as stolen merchandise so the purchaser would keep his acquisition to himself. Because the minute anyone called a press conference or presented the book to a university library, the game was up. All the collectors he'd stung along the way would be screaming for their money back."

"They couldn't do anything about it, could they?" Carolyn wanted to know. "If he was a shady operator, they couldn't exactly sue him."

"True, but there's more than one way to skin a cat." She made a face and I regretted the choice of words. "At any rate," I went on, "the inflated market for the remaining books would collapse in a flash. Instead of realizing several thousand dollars a copy, he'd have a trunkful of books he couldn't give away. The high price absolutely depended on the books being one of a kind. When they were no longer unique, and when the holograph inscriptions proved to be forgeries, my client would have to find a new way to make a dishonest living."

"He could always become a burglar," the Maharajah suggested, smiling gently.

I shook my head. "No. That's the one thing he d.a.m.n well knew he couldn't do, because when he needed a burglar he came to this very shop and hired one. He found out, undoubtedly through Madeleine Porlock, that Arkwright was planning to go public with his copy of Fort Bucklow. Fort Bucklow. Maybe public's the wrong word. Arkwright wasn't about to ring up the Maybe public's the wrong word. Arkwright wasn't about to ring up the Times Times and tell them what he had. But Arkwright was a businessman at least as much as he was a collector, and there was someone he was trying to do business with who had more of a genuine interest in and tell them what he had. But Arkwright was a businessman at least as much as he was a collector, and there was someone he was trying to do business with who had more of a genuine interest in Fort Bucklow Fort Bucklow than Arkwright himself, who had no special interest in Kipling or India or anti-Semitic literature or whatever this particular book might represent." than Arkwright himself, who had no special interest in Kipling or India or anti-Semitic literature or whatever this particular book might represent."

Whelkin asked if I had someone specific in mind.

"A foreigner," I said. "Because Arkwright was engaged in international commerce. A man with the wealth and power of an Indian prince."

The Maharajah's jaw stiffened. Atman Singh inclined his body a few degrees forward, prepared to leap to his master's defense.

"Or an Arab oil sheikh," I continued. "There's a man named Najd al-Quhaddar who comes to mind. He lives in one of the Trucial States, I forget which one, and he pretty much owns the place. There was a piece about him not long ago in Contemporary Bibliophile. Contemporary Bibliophile. He's supposed to have the best personal library east of Suez." He's supposed to have the best personal library east of Suez."

"I know him," the Maharajah said. "Perhaps the best library in the Middle East, although there is a gentleman in Alexandria who would almost certainly wish to dispute that a.s.sertion." He smiled politely. "But surely not the best library east of Suez. There is at least one library on the Indian subcontinent which puts the Sheikh's holdings to shame."

Mother taught me never to argue with Maharajahs, so I nodded politely and went on. "Arkwright had a brilliant idea," I told them. "He was trying to rig a deal with the Sheikh. Work up some sort of trade agreements, something like that. The Deliverance of Fort Bucklow The Deliverance of Fort Bucklow would be a perfect sweetener. Najd al-Quhaddar is a heavy supporter of the Palestinian terrorist organizations, a position that's not exactly unheard of among the oil sheikhs, and here's a unique specimen of anti-Semitic literature with a whole legend to go with it, establishing a great English writer as an enemy of world Jewry. would be a perfect sweetener. Najd al-Quhaddar is a heavy supporter of the Palestinian terrorist organizations, a position that's not exactly unheard of among the oil sheikhs, and here's a unique specimen of anti-Semitic literature with a whole legend to go with it, establishing a great English writer as an enemy of world Jewry.

"There was only one problem. My client had already sold a book to the Sheikh."

I looked at Whelkin. His expression was hard to read.

"I didn't read this in Contemporary Bibliophile, Contemporary Bibliophile," I went on. "The Sheikh was told when he bought the book that he had to keep it to himself, that it was stolen goods with no legitimate provenance. That was fine with him. There are collectors who find hot merchandise especially desirable. They get a kick out of the cloak-and-dagger aspects-and of course they figure they're getting a bargain.

"If Arkwright showed his copy to Najd, the game was up and the fat was in the fire. First off, Arkwright would know he'd been screwed. More important, Najd would know-and Arab oil sheikhs can get all sorts of revenge without troubling to call an attorney. In some of those countries they still chop hands off pickpockets. Imagine what they'd come up with if they had a personal grudge against you."

I stopped for breath. "My client had another reason to keep Arkwright from adding to the Sheikh's library. He was negotiating another sale to Najd, and it was designed to net him a fortune. The last thing he wanted was for Arkwright to queer it."

Carolyn said, "I'm lost, Bern. What was he going to sell him?"

"The Deliverance of Fort Bucklow."

"I thought he already did."

"He sold him the Rider Haggard copy. Now he was going to sell him something a little special." I tapped the book on the counter. "He was going to offer him this copy," I said.

"Wait one moment," Prescott Demarest said. "You have me utterly confused. That copy in front of you-it's not the one you took from this man Arkwright's home?"

"No. That copy left Madeleine Porlock's apartment in the possession of the man who killed her."

"Then the book in front of you is another copy which you found in her closet?"

I shook my head. "I'm afraid not," I said ruefully. "You see, the copy from the shoe box in the closet was a second Rider Haggard copy, and how could my client possibly sell it to the Sheikh? He'd already done that once. No, this is a third copy, curiously enough, and I have to apologize for lying earlier when I told you this was the Porlock copy. Well, see, maybe I can just clear up the confusion by reading you the inscription on the flyleaf."

I opened the book, cleared my throat. G.o.d knows I had their attention now.

" 'For Herr Adolf Hitler,' " I read, " 'whose recognition of the twin Damocletian swords of Mosaic Bolshevism and Hebraic International Finance have ignited a new torch in Germany which, with the Grace of G.o.d, will one day brighten all the globe. May your present trials prove no more than the anvil upon which the blade of Deliverance may be forged. With abiding good wishes and respect, Rudyard Kipling, Bateman's, Burwash, Suss.e.x, U.K., 1 April 1924.' "

I closed the book. "The date's significant," I said. "I was looking at John Toland's biography of Hitler before you gentlemen arrived. One of the fringe benefits of owning a bookstore. The date Kipling supposedly inscribed this book was the very day Hitler was sentenced to five years in Landsberg Prison for his role in the Munich Beer Hall Putsch. A matter of hours after the sentence was announced he was in his cell writing the t.i.tle page of Mein Kampf. Mein Kampf. Meanwhile, Rudyard Kipling, moved by the future Fuhrer's plight, was inscribing a book to him. There's some rubber stamping in ink on the inside front cover, too. It's in German, but it seems to indicate that the book was admitted to Landsberg Prison in May of 1924. Then there are some marginal notes here and there, presumably in Hitler's hand, and some underlining, and some German phrases scribbled on the inside back cover and the blank pages at the back of the book." Meanwhile, Rudyard Kipling, moved by the future Fuhrer's plight, was inscribing a book to him. There's some rubber stamping in ink on the inside front cover, too. It's in German, but it seems to indicate that the book was admitted to Landsberg Prison in May of 1924. Then there are some marginal notes here and there, presumably in Hitler's hand, and some underlining, and some German phrases scribbled on the inside back cover and the blank pages at the back of the book."

"Hitler might have had it in his cell with him," Rudyard Whelkin said dreamily. "Took inspiration from it. Tried out ideas for Mein Kampf Mein Kampf-that's what those scribbles could indicate."

"And then what happened to the book?"

"Why, that's still a bit vague. Perhaps the Fuhrer presented it to Unity Mitford and it found its way back to Britain with her. That's not an unappealing little story. But all the details have yet to be worked out."

"And the price?"

Whelkin raised his imposing eyebrows. "For Adolf Hitler's personal copy of a work of which only one other copy exists? For a source book for Mein Kampf Mein Kampf? Inscribed to Hitler and chock-full of his own invaluable notes and comments?"

"How much money?"

"Money," Whelkin said. "What is money to someone like Najd al-Quhaddar? It flows in as fast as the oil flows out, more money than one knows what to do with. Fifty thousand dollars? One hundred thousand? A quarter of a million? I was just beginning to dangle the bait, you see. Just letting that Arab get the merest idea of what I had to offer. The ultimate negotiations would have to be positively Byzantine in their subtlety. How much would I have demanded? How much would he have paid? At what point would the bargain be struck?" He spread his hands. "Impossible to say, my boy. What is that phrase of Dr. Johnson's? 'Wealth beyond the dreams of avarice.' Avarice is quite a dreamer, you know, so his words might be the slightest bit hyperbolic, but suffice it to say that the book would have brought a nice price. A very nice price."

"But not if Arkwright ruined the deal."

"No," Whelkin said. "Not if Mr. Arkwright ruined the deal."

"How much did he pay you for his copy?"

"Five thousand dollars."

"And the Sheikh? He'd already bought a copy with the Haggard inscription."

He nodded. "For a few thousand. I don't remember the figure. Is it of great importance?"

"Not really. How many other copies did you sell?"

Whelkin sighed. "Three," he said. "One to a gentleman in Fort Worth who is under the impression that it was surrept.i.tiously removed from the Ashmolean at Oxford by a greedy sub-curator with gambling debts. He'll never show it around. Another to a retired planter who lives in the West Indies now after making a packet in Malayan rubber. The third to a Rhodesian diehard who seemed more excited by the poem's political stance than its collector value. The Texan paid the highest price-eighty-five hundred dollars, I believe. I was selling off the books one by one, you see, but it was a laborious proposition. One couldn't advertise. Each sale called for extensive research and elaborate groundwork. My travel expenses were substantial. I was living reasonably well and covering my costs, but I wasn't getting ahead of the game."

"The last copy you sold was to Arkwright?"

"Yes."

"How did you know Madeleine Porlock?"

"We were friends of long standing. We'd worked together now and again, over the years."

"Setting up swindles, do you mean?"

"Commercial enterprises is a less loaded term, wouldn't you say?"

"How did a copy of Fort Bucklow Fort Bucklow get in her closet?" get in her closet?"

"It was her commission for placing a copy with Arkwright," he said. "I needed cash. Normally I'd have given her a thousand dollars or so for arranging the sale. She was just as pleased to have the book. She expected to sell it eventually for a good sum. She knew, of course, not to do anything with it until I'd had my shot at the big money with Najd al-Quhaddar."

"Meanwhile, you needed Arkwright's copy back."

"Yes."

"And offered me fifteen thou to fetch it for you."

"Yes."

"Where was the fifteen thousand going to come from?"