The Broken Sister Part 25

"Yes, I do."

"I'll do it, but not because I'm there to make sure of how you act, but to support you."

Kylie closed her eyes. To support her. That's all she'd ever really desired and had been unable to ask for.

Kylie entered the hospital room. Cadence turned her head and when their eyes met, tears immediately filled Cadence's eyes. It made a deep pit in Kylie's stomach. She could not imagine actually doing anything to try or possibly succeed in ending her life. It was ironic, as many used to worry about her mental health, her depression, even worry if she was the girl who would hurt herself. Yet she knew she was far too squeamish and scared of death to even consider it. Being sad and confused and sometimes unsure didn't mean she would ever use violence against herself in any form, even taking too much medicine. Which, if anyone knew her, she was beginning to understand, as Tristan had pointed out, they would know that.

"You must hate me and wish I succeeded."

Kylie dropped to the chair that was right next to Cadence's head. She gently took Cadence's hand and kept her voice calm and soothing. "No. No, I would never want you to be harmed or hurt. Oh, Cadence, why did you do this?"

"I took money from them." It burst out of her mouth, loud and almost obnoxious, like it was some kind of noxious fume she had to expel from her lungs and lips. "I let them buy me off. I didn't know how to tell you. You came too late. You came and you were so... me. You understood. You came that night to my dorm room and you wanted to do something, the something I've wanted to do and succeed at since this happened. I didn't know how to tell you I had sold out. That I chickened out."

"You didn't chicken out. You faced off against them and you put it out there on Rape Matters. I would never have had the guts to do so. And I'd have never found you if you hadn't. You helped me begin to even want to face this. You didn't sell out, you survived. My silence is how I survived."

Tears rolled over Cadence's face. "Don't you understand? I was lying to you the entire time. But it felt so good to imagine, just imagine, if Tommy actually got punished. It was a fantasy that can and will never happen. But I just wanted it to. I never imagined there would be anyone to come forward and understand. To fight with me. But it was too late. I had already taken a bribe to go away. I signed all this legal paperwork. I didn't know how to tell you. And then, oh G.o.d, realizing that I gave in... I let them pay us. Like my rape was for sale. Like I was a wh.o.r.e. Like-"

Kylie merely leaned over the bed and took Cadence's crying body into her arms. "Shh. Shh. You're not a wh.o.r.e. And I'm not mad at you. You forget, I understand everything you went through and are going through. Stop blaming us. Please? We're the victims. Everyone else blames us, but we can't. We can't let them make us blame ourselves." Kylie held the trembling, crying girl, who Kylie believed was so much stronger and saner and whole and functioning... so much better than Kylie.

It took listening to Cadence for Kylie to finally, finally feel a strange lightness settle over her heart and dig into her head. She wasn't to blame. She nearly wilted under the knowledge. She wasn't a wh.o.r.e or a b.i.t.c.h or a s.l.u.t. She didn't ask for it. She didn't sign up for it. She didn't do anything wrong. She had been raped. Forced. She was drugged and had been unconscious.

It didn't matter that she wore short skirts or slept with other boys in that fraternity. It didn't matter if she flirted and kissed guys that very night. None of her actions mattered. His actions were what mattered. Nothing she did deserved the punishment, the crime against her that was committed. She just hadn't understood that she was letting society and her own biases rape her again by blaming herself. Calling herself names. The very names her rapist's brother asked her not to call herself. In fact, Tristan constantly drilled into her that she was not those names. The irony didn't make much sense to Kylie. Why? Why did Tristan pretend to think she was the opposite of those things? To gain her confidence so he could manipulate her? Be the good guy to Tommy's bad? But if that were the case, why wasn't Tristan going after her now?

"You see, we can't go after him. I just didn't know how to tell you." Cadence sobbed against Kylie's chest. "I wanted to tell you so many times, but the fantasy of feeling like we were going to get him felt so good."

"I see you are in pain and I wish you'd told me. Never hurt yourself again, Cadence. Please. Promise me? We'll get help, okay? Together we'll go to those rape survivors groups. We'll deal with it together. Whatever happens to Tommy or not, we won't let that determine how we deal with what happened to us. Do you understand me? You have my help. I have yours. We can't do it alone. That's what I've most learned."

"But he'll get away with it. Just as if it didn't matter..."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Whatever happens to him or not isn't worth your life. Do you understand that?" Kylie was thrown that these were words coming from her mouth. Trying to be a cheerleader for someone else's emotional problems felt hypocritical. Yet here she was, giving the advice she herself should take. She took in a deep breath and squeezed Cadence tighter. No, she would take this advice. She would use her family and Cadence's friendship to start dealing with this, with all of it, so it didn't break her, like the guilt had broken Cadence.

She kept holding the trembling, crying girl, but she also felt a resolve in her she'd never really felt before.

She wasn't broken.

She had believed for a decade she was so messed up she couldn't trust or talk or cry or eat.

Maybe she couldn't, but that didn't mean she deserved to be punished for it. Nor did it mean there was anything drastically wrong with her. Having s.e.x didn't mean she deserved to be raped. Being at a party didn't mean anyone had the right to drug her without her permission or knowledge.

"You think you have problems? Do you know who my boyfriend ended up being?" Kylie finally put some s.p.a.ce between them so Cadence could dry her eyes. Cadence sniffed and blew her nose.

"Who?"

"Tommy's older brother. He was supposed to come neutralize me or some such s.h.i.t. Found me off the comment I made on the website. But then he claims he fell for me and never wanted to do anything to hurt me."

"That's really screwed up."

Kylie nodded. "It really is."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"You don't believe him, do you?"

"I actually might, Cadence. But what did come of all this is I finally told my family and they were amazing and all things you said they would be."

Cadence picked at the sheets, shaking her head. "What do we do now?"

"You get better. I'll be right here with you, okay? The rest can wait."

Cadence bit her lip. "I'm sorry, Kylie."

"Don't be sorry. I'm glad I met you. I'm glad you came forward or I would be all alone with this still. And I have to tell you Cadence, not being alone is a lot better. We'll figure things out when you're better."

Chapter Twenty-One.

"IS THERE VIDEO SURVEILLANCE at Tamasy Industries? In your office?" Kylie said as Tristan was just putting the phone to his ear. Her tone was brisk, impatient. He closed his eyes. It was Kylie. But how did he talk to her? How did he get her to keep talking to him?

"Surveillance?" He repeated it dumbly.

"Yes. Do you have video of me being felt up by you on your desk?"

He jerked upright. His heart squeezed in pain and longing at the sharpness of her voice. "No. Of course not. Not in my office, I mean. But... yes, there are cameras out in the lobby and hallways."

"I should believe you, why?"

"You want them erased?" He leaned forward and rubbed at his neck. The tension had knots that traveled up into his temples.

"Yes. Duh. But I don't trust you to do it."

"We could go tonight. Any time after eight and there won't be a soul around. You can do it yourself." He closed his eyes. The futileness of trying to convince her he wasn't trying to hurt her weighed heavily on him. "I know you don't believe me. But I would never do anything to hurt you. I would never let anything between us be-"

"I'll meet you out front at nine. Just to be sure." She hung up the phone. He stared desolate at the small device in his hand. She'd never forgive him. He should forget about her and trying to make this right. There was no making this right. He deserved it. So he should accept that fate and move on. Move on like he usually did. Like he did after Tara left. Like he did after Tommy's first accusation of rape. Like he did... always.

Except for the awful pinching of his throat. It felt like two hands were suffocating him, or some kind of virus was making his throat swell. He couldn't imagine going forward with his life as is. After who he was, what he'd done, and then finding Kylie. She had changed something in him. Shown him what having someone in his life was like. He'd spent his life pretty much alone. The love and concern his family showed was measured in how he lived up to family expectations and family obligations. The same things that pushed his sister to run away from home and the family. The same family that had created Tommy. Tommy who, what? Talked about girls like they were pieces of candy he got to gorge on. He could unwrap and taste whichever ones he wanted, however and whenever he wanted. What Tristan didn't know is how far that ent.i.tlement went.

But Kylie didn't lie.

Somewhere deep in his gut he knew the bigger truth. Kylie McKinley didn't lie. She wasn't mistaken. She didn't confuse drunk or pa.s.sed out with drugged. And even if she had, that would still mean whatever s.e.x she'd had was rape.

His stomach rebelled at all the images. At all the truths that seemed to steamroll over him. He made it to the toilet before he started throwing up the lunch he'd barely eaten. He threw up and threw up until he dry-heaved and finally stopped. Wearily he grabbed a washcloth and wiped his mouth. Folding it, he ran it under the cold water and scrubbed at his face. His little brother had raped two girls. Two that he knew about. Two girls Tristan had attempted to humiliate, hurt, and shame into going away.

He had not yet figured out what to do about work, his brother, his grandfather or the rest of his life. He'd laid sleepless in bed all night, tossing and turning, wanting to call Kylie a dozen times. Wondering what she was doing. How she was hurting. He hadn't expected her phone call. Nor what she'd asked.

He finally turned and started the shower. He had to do something. He finally started to clean up and wait the few hours until he could see Kylie.

Ally and Kylie came together in a car he recognized as their mom's. His heart beat faster. Good. She must have gone home and talked to them, reached out to them, and Tristan was sure they were the kind of family to embrace her, help her, and love her. Unlike his own, who simply searched to bury wrongdoings at all cost.

Ally glared hard at him. He waited leaning against the building. Kylie merely stared at him, face blank and unreadable. He stepped forward.

"Hi." When had he ever felt this timid or unsure?

"Is the security feed on site here?" Kylie's tone was cold and curt.

"Yes. It's on the first floor. I'll show you."

"We will be taped coming in?"

"Well, yes. There is twenty-four-hour surveillance. I'll go do it, I promise. But..."

"Yeah, we don't trust you. All right. I'm going," Ally interrupted him. "Ky? You want to wait here?"

"No. I'll come in."

He felt like he was not even there. She talked around him, and looked right through him.

He unlocked the front door. There was dim lighting interspersed around the lobby. No one else was around. He took them back into the security office that had a full time, around the clock security guard manning it. Tonight Phillip worked. He'd already talked to him on the phone and explained what he needed. No whys. Phillip didn't care why. Just that Tristan had authorization to access his firm's images.

"I pulled all the footage from the date you specified. There it is. Just click there," Phillip said.

Ally and Kylie stood just behind Tristan. "Okay, thank you, Phillip. Do you mind if we have a few minutes?"

"Nope. I'll just go check around." Phillip left and the girls stepped beside him. He sat down and fast-forwarded until the times matched when Kylie arrived at the office. Then there was her image, walking into the reception area, down the hallway, and there Tristan was, scowling at her from his doorway. There was no audio.

"No wonder you looked like you wanted to kill me that day. I could have run into anyone."

He glanced at Kylie. Then he shook his head and stared harder at the screen. He flipped around to different screens. "The only surveillance we have is in entry, hallways, and back stairs." He quickly erased the images for the hour before, during, and after she was there. Just in case. It was all gone. He felt better, lighter. He was impressed she'd thought of this.

He spun around and found both of them still squinting at all the images. "How do we know you speak the truth?" Ally said.

"I don't know what else to do to prove it to you, Ally. I just-" He ran his fingers into his hair. She was tough, demanding, exacting, and suspicious. The complete opposite of her sister. He glanced up at Kylie. "I'm here, aren't I? Erasing video of you because you asked. What would be the point of tricking you if I went so far as to have you come here and do this? That would be a pointless charade. I'd just have said no and not done so. To my knowledge, there is no video or pictures...well s.h.i.t, that's not true. Here." He reached into his pocket and withdrew his phone. "Take it. Keep it. You'll find them."

Kylie had grabbed it out of surprise. She held his phone. She stared at him without a word and then finally swiped at the screen.

"Pa.s.sword?"

He winced. He'd forgotten that part. He felt the blush rising up into his face as he mumbled, "Your birthdate."

Her gaze shot to his, wide now with surprise. Shock, even. He shrugged. What could he say? It had been easy to remember. She quickly typed in the month and day and his phone opened to her. She clicked on his pictures and started flipping. There wasn't much. He didn't take very many, ever. Most were innocuous ones of her.

She stopped and stared harder at one. "I didn't know you took these."

Ally strained her head to look, probably thinking they were some telltale clues to what a c.r.a.p-hole jerk he was. Like he took some naked pictures of her in his apartment or something. Instead, he was sure she meant the ones of them sledding. They were barely together, but she'd looked so happy in the snow, the world shining around her. He knew exactly which ones. The same ones Tommy had found on his computer. He liked the pictures. They made him feel calm to remember them, and so he'd copied them to his computer too.

"Yes." He sighed and stood up. "Come on, Ally, you can come up with me. I copied those to my computer. Let's go erase them and you can look around and confirm there's nothing else I'm hiding."

Ally watched him, uncharacteristically quiet. Kylie tried to hand him back his phone. "Here... just... whatever."

"No. I can buy a new phone. I can't buy your trust. If this gives you a measure of comfort, then I'm happy to do it." Though he'd sincerely miss the pictures. He really liked those ones.

He pa.s.sed around her and motioned for Ally to come. What harm could there be if Ally was inside Tamasy Industries? They could always claim she was there on behalf of her sister. Ally was quiet on the elevator ride. He leaned against the opposite wall, slouched and feeling lower than a beetle before her.

He unlocked everything and led her to his office. She glanced around. "Nice place."

He shrugged. "It was. I'm not sure what I think of it now."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know if I can work here anymore. After all this... I don't know what is going to happen." He sat down and turned his computer on and waited for it to come alive. When it did, he motioned to Ally. "Here, click away, get rid of whatever you want. s.h.i.t, for that matter, copy whatever else you want too."

He turned and sat on one of the chairs facing his desk as Ally sat in his chair. She started clicking and quickly erased the same pictures that were on his phone. There was nothing different. There was nothing on his social media, which he was sure Ally had already checked on.

"There's a file here on Cadence." Shock was thick in her voice. He got up and found a thumb drive. He tossed it to Ally. It landed on her lap.

"And one on Kylie. Go ahead, Ally. Look at them, copy them and then delete them and empty the trash bin. I told you, take whatever you want. None of that stuff is on the company server or backed up to any kind of cloud. The only copies are on my hard drive."

He sat back down, leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and stared at the floor.

Ally got to work, and then after several minutes she finally asked, her tone quiet, "Why?"

"Why what exactly, Ally? Why did I do this to your sister? Ruin her life? What?"

"Why did you let me in here? Why are you letting us have access?"

"Because I didn't mean to cover up any crimes. I didn't mean to cause her harm, or Cadence. I didn't mean for anything."

"Then why did you do it? I have to say, you seem strangely affected by it. Like, I kind of believe your remorseful thing you have going on here. That, or you're the greatest actor of all time. So... why did you do it then?"

"If someone, some stranger, accused Kylie of raping them, would you believe the stranger or Kylie?"

"Kylie, of course. Just like I believe your brother raped her."

He winced. Hearing it didn't get easier. "I believed my brother. I thought I was saving my brother from awful, unfair criminal accusations. I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Believed?"