The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night Volume II Part 15

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the young merchant continued to Taj al-Muluk: "So I entered the house and when my mother saw me she said, "Her death lieth heavy on thy neck and may Allah not acquit thee of her blood! A plague on such a cousin!" Then came my father, and we laid her out and get ready her bier and buried her; and we had recitations of the whole Koran over her tomb and we abode by her grave three days, after which we returned to our home, and I grieving for her grievously. Then my mother came to me and said, "I would fain know what thou didst to her, to break her heart[FN#518] for, O my son, I questioned her at all times of the cause of her complaint, but she would tell me nothing nor let me know aught of it. So Allah upon thee, tell me what thou hast been doing to her that she died." Quoth I, "I did nothing." Quoth my mother, "Allah avenge her on thee! Verily she told me naught, but kept her secret till she died of her love longings for thee; but when she died I was with her and she opened her eyes and said to me; 'O wife of my uncle may Allah hold thy son guiltless of my blood and punish him not for what he hath done by me! And now Allah transporteth me from the house of the world which is perishable to the house of the other world which is eternal.' Said I, 'O my daughter, Allah preserve thee and preserve thy youth!' And as I questioned her of the cause of her illness, she made me no answer; but she smiled and said, 'O wife of my uncle, bid thy son, whenever he would go whither he goeth every day, repeat these two saws at his going away; 'Faith is fair! Unfaith is foul!' For this is of my tender affection to him, that I am solicitous concerning him during my lifetime and after my death.'

Then she gave me somewhat for thee and sware me that I would not give it until I see thee weeping for her and lamenting her death.

The thing is with me; and, when I have seen thy case as I have said, I will make it over to thee." "Show it me," cried I: but she would not. Then I gave myself up to love delights and thought no more of my cousin's death: for my mind was unsettled and fain would I have been with my lover the livelong day and night.[FN#519] So hardly had I perceived the darkness fall when I betook myself to the garden, where I found the young lady sitting on coals of fire for much impatience. As soon as she was sure that she saw me, she ran to me and throwing her arms about my neck, enquired of the daughter of my uncle. I replied, "Sooth to say she is dead, and we have caused Zikr- litanies and recitations of the Koran to be performed for her; and it is now four nights and this be the fifth since she is gone." When she heard that, she shrieked aloud and wept and said, "Did I not tell thee that thou hast slain her? Hadst thou let me know of her before her death, I would have requited her the kindness she did me, in that she served me and united thee to me; for without her, we had never foregathered, we twain, and I fear lest some calamity befal thee because of thy sin against her." Quoth I, "She acquitted me of offence ere she died;" and I repeated to her what my mother had told me. Quoth she, "Allah upon thee! when thou returnest to thy mother, learn what thing she keepeth for thee." I rejoined, "My mother also said to me; 'Before the daughter of thy uncle died, she laid a charge upon me, saying, Whenever thy son would go whither he is wont to go, teach him these two saws, 'Faith is fair; Unfaith is foul!' " When my lady heard this she exclaimed, "The mercy of Almighty Allah be upon her! Indeed, she hath delivered thee from me, for I minded to do thee a mischief, but now I will not harm thee nor trouble thee."

I wondered at this and asked her, "What then west thou minded to do with me in time past and we two being in bond of love?"

Answered she, "Thou art infatuated with me; for thou art young in life and a raw laddie; thy heart is void of guile and thou weetest not our malice and deceit. Were she yet alive, she would protect thee; for she is the cause of thy preservation and she hath delivered thee from destruction. And now I charge thee speak not with any woman, neither accost one of our s.e.x, be she young or be she old; and again I say Beware! for thou art simple and raw and knowest not the wiles of women and their malice, and she who interpreted the signs to thee is dead. And indeed I fear for thee, lest thou fall into some disgrace and find none to deliver thee from it, now that the daughter of thy uncle is no more."--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

When it was the One Hundred and Twenty-first Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the young merchant continued to Taj al-Muluk: "Then the young lady said to me, "I fear for thee lest thou fall into some disgrace and find none to deliver thee from it. Alas for thy cousin and ah, the pity of her! Would I had known her before her death, that I might have requited by waiting upon her the fair service she did me. The mercy of Allah Almighty be upon her, for she kept her secret and revealed not what she suffered, and but for her thou hadst never foregathered with me; no, never! But there is one thing I desire of thee." I asked, "What is it?"; and she answered, "It is that thou bring me to her grave, that I may visit her in the tomb wherein she is and write some couplets thereon." I rejoined, "To morrow, if Allah please!"[FN#520] I slept with her that night, and she ceased not saying after every hour, "Would thou hadst told me of thy cousin before her death!"

And I asked her, "What is the meaning of the two saws she taught me? 'Faith is fair! Unfaith is foul!'" But she made no answer.

As soon as it was day she rose and, taking a purse of gold pieces, said to me, "Come, show me her tomb, that I may visit it and grave some verses thereon and build a dome over it and commend her to Allah's mercy and bestow these diners in alms for her soul." I replied, "To hear is to obey!"; and walked on before her, whilst she followed me, giving alms as she went and saying to all upon whom she lavisht bounty, "This is an alms for the soul of Azizah, who kept her counsel till she drank the cup of death and never told the secret of her love." And she stinted not thus to give alms and say, "for Azizah's soul," till the purse was empty and we came to the grave. And when she looked at the tomb, she wept and threw herself on it; then, pulling out a chisel of steel and a light hammer, she graved therewith upon the head stone in fine small characters these couplets,

"I past by a broken tomb amid a garth right sheen, * Whereon seven blooms of Nu'uman[FN#521] glowed with cramoisie; Quoth I, 'Who sleepeth in this tomb?' Quoth answering Earth *

'Before a lover Hades-tombed[FN#522] bend reverently!'

Quoth I, 'May Allah help thee, O thou slain of Love, * And grant thee home in Heaven and Paradise height to see!'

Hapless are lovers all e'en tombed in their tombs, * Where amid living folk the dust weighs heavily!

Pain would I plant a garden blooming round thy grave, * And water every flower with tear drops flowing free!"

Then she turned away in tears and I with her and returned to the garden where she said to me, "By Allah! I conjure thee never leave me!" "To hear is to obey," replied I. Then I gave myself wholly up to her and paid her frequent visits: she was good and generous to me; and as often as I pa.s.sed the night with her, she would make much of me and would ask me of the two saws my cousin Azizah told my mother and I would repeat them to her. And matters ceased not to be on this wise and I continued for a whole year eating and drinking and enjoying dalliance and wearing change of rich raiment until I waxed gross and fat, so that I lost all thought of sorrowing and mourning, and I clean forgot my cousin Azizah. And on New Year's day I went to the bath, where I refreshed myself and put on a suit of sumptuous clothes; then coming out I drank a cup of wine and smelt the scent of my new gear which was perfumed with various essences; and my breast was broadened thereby, for I knew not the tricks of Pate nor the changing ways of Time. When the hour of night prayer came, I was minded to repair to my lover; but, being the worse for wine, I knew not when going to her whither I went, so my drunkenness turned me into a by street called Syndic Street;[FN#523] and the while I walked up that street behold, I caught sight of an old woman faring with a lighted taper in one hand, and in the other a folded letter.--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.

When it was the One Hundred and Twenty-second Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the young merchant, whose name was Aziz, continued to Taj al-Muluk:--And when I entered the street called Syndic Street behold, I caught sight of an old woman walking with a lighted taper in one hand and in the other a folded letter and I drew near her and lo! she was weeping and repeating these couplets,

"O glad news bearer well come! Welcome! Hail! * How sweet thy speech to me, what treat thy tale: O messenger from him whose weal I love, * G.o.d bless thee long as breathes soft morning-gale!"

Now when she saw me she asked, "O my son! canst thou read?"; and I answered, of my officiousness, "Yes, old naunty!" Rejoined she, "Then take this letter and read it to me." And when she handed it to me, I took it and unfolding it read it to her and behold it was from an absent man to his friends and lovers whom he greeted; and, when she heard its purport, she rejoiced at the good tidings and blessed me, saying, "Allah dispel thine anxiety, even as thou hast dispelled mine!" Then she took the letter and walked on.

Meanwhile, I was urged by a call of nature and sat down on my heels to make water.[FN#524] When I had ended I stood up and wiped the orifice with a pebble and then, letting down my clothes, I was about to wend my way, when suddenly the old woman came up to me again and, bending down over my hand, kissed it and said, "O my master! the Lord give thee joy of thy youth! I entreat thee to walk with me a few steps as far as yonder door, for I told them what thou didst read to me of the letter, and they believe me not, so come with me two steps and read them the letter from behind the door and accept the prayers of a righteous woman." I enquired, "What is the history of this letter?", and she replied, "O my son, this letter is from my son, who hath been absent for a term of ten years. He set out with a stock of merchandise and tarried long in foreign parts, till we lost hope of him and supposed him to be dead. Now after all that delay cometh this letter from him, and he hath a sister who weepeth for him night and day; so I said to her, 'He is well and all right.'

But she will not believe me and declares, 'There is no help but thou bring me one who will read this letter in my presence, that my heart may be at rest and my mind at ease.' Thou knowest, O my son, that all who love are wont to think evil: so be good enough to go with me and read to her this letter, standing behind the curtain, whilst I call his sister to listen within the door, so shalt thou dispel our heed and fulfil our need. Verily quoth the Apostle of Allah (whom Allah bless and preserve!), 'Whoso easeth the troubled of one of the troubles of this troublous world, Allah will ease him of an hundred troubles'; and according to another tradition, 'Whoso easeth his brother of one of the troubles of this troublous world, Allah shall relieve him of seventy and two troubles on the Day of Resurrection.' And I have betaken myself to thee; so disappoint me not." Replied I, "To hear is to obey: do thou go before me!" So she walked on devancing me and I followed her a little way, till she came to the gate of a large and handsome mansion whose door was plated with copper.[FN#525] I stood behind the door, whilst the old woman cried out in Persian, and ere I knew it a damsel ran up with light and nimble step. She had tucked up her trousers to her knees, so that I saw a pair of calves that confounded thinker and lighter, and the maid herself was as saith the poet describing her,

"O thou who barest leg calf, better to suggest * For pa.s.sion madded amourist better things above!

Towards its lover cloth the bowl go round and run; * Cup[FN#526]

and cup bearer only drive us daft with love."[FN#527]

Now these legs were like two pillars of alabaster adorned with anklets of gold, wherein were set stones of price. And the damsel had tucked up the end of her gown under her arm pit and had rolled up her sleeves to the elbow, so that I could see her white wrists whereon were two pairs of bracelets with clasps of great pearls; and round her neck was a collar of costly gems.

Her ears were adorned with pendants of pearls and on her head she wore a kerchief[FN#528] of brocade, brand new and broidered with jewels of price. And she had thrust the skirt of her shift into her trousers string being busy with some household business. So when I saw her in this undress, I was confounded at her beauty, for she was like a shining sun. Then she said, with soft, choice speech, never heard I sweeter, "O my mother! is this he who cometh to read the letter?" "It is," replied the old woman; and she put out her hand to me with the letter. Now between her and the door was a distance of about half a rod[FN#529]; so I stretched forth my hand to take the letter from her and thrust head and shoulders within the door, thinking to draw near her and read the letter when, before I knew what her design was, the old woman b.u.t.ted her head against my back and pushed me forwards with the letter in my hand, so that ere I could take thought I found myself in the middle of the hall far beyond the vestibule. Then she entered, faster than a flash of blinding leven, and had naught to do but to shut the door. And Shahrazed perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

When it was the One Hundred and Twenty-third Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the youth Aziz pursued to Taj al Muluk: "When the old woman pushed me forwards I found myself, ere I could think, inside the vestibule; and the old woman entered faster than a flash of blinding levee and had naught to do but to shut the door. When the girl saw me in the vestibule, she came up to me and strained me to her bosom, and threw me to the floor; then she sat astraddle upon my breast and kneaded my belly with her fingers, till I well nigh lost my senses. Thereupon she took me by the hand and led me, unable to resist for the violence of her pressure, through seven vestibules, whilst the old woman forewent us with the lighted candle, till we came to a great saloon with four estrades whereon a horseman might play Polo.[FN#530] Here she released me, saying, "Open thine eyes." So I opened them still giddy for the excess of her embracing and pressing, and saw that the whole saloon was built of the finest marbles and alabasters, and all its furniture was of silk and brocade even to the cushions and mattresses.

Therein also were two benches of yellow bra.s.s and a couch of red gold, set with pearls and precious stones, befitting none save Kings like thyself. And off the saloon were smaller sitting rooms; and the whole place was redolent of wealth. Then she asked, "O Aziz, which is liefer to thee life or death?" "Life,"

answered I; and she said, "If life be liefer to thee, marry me."

Quoth I, "Indeed I should hate to marry the like of thee." Quoth she, "If thou marry me thou wilt at least be safe from the daughter of Dalilah the Wily One."[FN#531] I asked, "And who be that daughter of the Wily One?" Whereupon she laughed and replied, " 'Tis she who hath companied with thee this day for a year and four months (may the Almighty destroy and afflict her with one worse than herself!) By Allah, there liveth not a more perfidious than she. How many men hath she not slain before thee and what deeds hath she not done. Nor can I understand how thou hast been all the time in her company, yet she hath not killed thee nor done thee a mischief." When I heard her words, I marvelled with exceeding marvel and said, "O my lady, who made thee to know her?" Said she, "I know her as the age knoweth its calamities; but now I would fain have thee tell me all that hath pa.s.sed between you two, that I may ken the cause of thy deliverance from her." So I told her all that had happened between us, including the story of my cousin Azizah. She expressed her pity when she heard of the death, and her eyes ran over with tears and she claps hand on hand and cried out, Her youth was lost on Allah's way,[FN#532] and may the Lord bless thee for her good works! By Allah, O Aziz, she who died for thee was the cause of thy preservation from the daughter of Dalia the Wily; and, but for her, thou hadst been lost. And now she is dead I fear for thee from the Crafty One's perfidy and mischief; but my throat is choking and I cannot speak." Quoth I Ay, by Allah: all this happened even as thou sayest." And she shook her head and cried, "There liveth not this day the like of Azizah. I continued, "And on her death bed she bade me repeat to my lover these two saws, 'Faith is fair! Unfaith is foul'" When she heard me say this, she exclaimed, "O Aziz, by Allah those same words saved thee from dying by her hand; and now my heart is at ease for thee from her, for she will never kill thee and the daughter of thy uncle preserved thee during her lifetime and after her death. By Allah, I have desired thee day after day but could not get at thee till this time when I tricked thee and outwitted thee; for thou art a raw youth[FN#533] and knowest not the wiles of young women nor the deadly guile of old women." Rejoined I, No, by Allah!" Then said she to me, "Be of good cheer and eyes clear; the dead hath found Allah's grace, and the live shall be in good case. Thou art a handsome youth and I do not desire thee but according to the ordinance of Allah and His Apostle (on whom be salutation and salvation!). Whatever thou requirest of money and stuff, thou shalt have forthright without stint, and I will not impose any toil on thee, no, never!, for there is with me always bread baked hot and water in pot. All I need of thee is that thou do with me even as the c.o.c.k doth." I asked "And what doth the c.o.c.k?" Upon this she laughed and clapped her hands and fell over on her back for excess of merriment then she sat up and smiled and said, "O light of my eyes, really dost thou not know what c.o.c.k's duty is?" "No, by Allah!" replied I, and she, "The c.o.c.k's duty is to eat and drink and tread.' I was abashed at her words and asked, "Is that the c.o.c.k's duty? Yes, answered she; "and all I ask of thee now is to gird thy loins and strengthen thy will and futter thy best." Then she clapped her hands and cried out, saying, "O my mother, bring forward those who are with thee." And behold, in came the old woman accompanied by four lawful witnesses, and carrying a veil of silk. Then she lighted four candles, whilst the witnesses saluted me and sat down; and the girl veiled herself with the veil and deputed one of them to execute the contract on her behalf. So they wrote out the marriage bond and she testified to have received the whole sum settled upon her, both the half in advance and the half in arrears; and that she was indebted to me in the sum of ten thousand dirhams.--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.

When it was the One Hundred and Twenty-fourth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the young merchant continued to Taj al-Muluk: When they wrote out the marriage contract, she testified to having received the whole sum settled upon her, the half in advance and the half in arrears and that she was indebted to me in the sum of ten thousand dirhams.

She paid the witnesses their wage and they withdrew whence they came. Thereupon she arose and cast off her clothes and stood in a chemise of fine silk edged with gold lace, after which she took off her trousers and seized my hand and led me up to the couch, saying, "There is no sin in a lawful put in." She lay down on the couch outspread upon her back; and, drawing me on to her breast, heaved a sigh and followed it up with a wriggle by way of being coy. Then she pulled up the shift above her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and when I saw her in this pose, I could not withhold myself from thrusting it into her, after I had sucked her lips, whilst she whimpered and shammed shame and wept when no tears came, and then said she, "O my beloved, do it, and do thy best!" Indeed the case reminded me of his saying, who said,

"When I drew up her shift from the roof of her coynte, * I found it as strait* as my mind and my money: So I drove it half-way, and she sighed a loud sigh * Quoth I, 'Why this sigh?': 'For the rest of it, honey!'"

And she repeated, "O my beloved, let the finish be made for I am thine handmaid. My life on thee, up with it! give it me, all of it! that I may take it in my hand and thrust it into my very vitals!" And she ceased not to excite me with sobs and sighs and amorous cries in the intervals of kissing and clasping until amid our murmurs of pleasure we attained the supreme delight and the term we had in sight. We slept together till the morning, when I would have gone out; but lo! she came up to me, laughing, and said, "So! So! thinkest thou that going into the Hammam is the same as going out?[FN#534] Dost thou deem me to be the like of the daughter of Dalilah the Wily One? Beware of such a thought, for thou art my husband by contract and according to law. If thou be drunken return to thy right mind, and know that the house wherein thou art openeth but one day in every year. Go down and look at the great door." So I arose and went down and found the door locked and nailed up and returned and told her of the locking and nailing. "O Aziz," said she, "We have in this house flour, grain, fruits and pomegranates; sugar, meat, sheep, poultry and so forth enough for many years; and the door will not be opened till after the lapse of a whole twelvemonth and well I weet thou shalt not find thyself without this house till then."

Quoth I "There is no Majesty, and there is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great!" "And how can this harm thee,"

rejoined she; "seeing thou knowest c.o.c.k's duty, whereof I told thee?" Then she laughed and I laughed too, and I conformed to what she said and abode with her, doing c.o.c.k's duty and eating and drinking and futtering for a year of full twelve months, during which time she conceived by me, and I was blessed with a babe by her. On the New Year's day I heard the door opened and behold, men came in with cakes and flour and sugar. Upon this, I would have gone out but my wife said, "Wait till supper tide and go out even as thou camest in." So I waited till the hour of night prayer and was about to go forth in fear and trembling, when she stopped me, saying, "By Allah, I will not let thee go until thou swear to come back this night before the closing of the door." I agreed to this, and she swore me a solemn oath on Blade and Book,[FN#535] and the oath of divorce to boot, that I would return to her. Then I left her and going straight to the garden, found the door open as usual; where at I was angry and said to myself, "I have been absent this whole year and come here unawares and find the place open as of wont! I wonder is the damsel still here as before? I needs must enter and see before I go to my mother, more by reason that it is now nightfall." So I entered the flower garden,--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

End of Vol. 2.

Volume 2 Footnotes

[FN#1] Supplementarily to note 2, p. 2, [FN#2 Vol 1]and note 2, p. 14, [FN#21 Vol 1] vol. i., I may add that "Shahrazad," in the Shams al-Loghat, is the P.N. of a King. L. Langles (Les Voyages de Sindibad Le Marin et La Ruse des Femmes, first appended to Savary's Grammar and reprinted 12 mot pp. 161 + 113, Imprimerie Royale, Paris, M.D.CCC.XIV) explains it by Le cypres, la beaute de la ville; and he is followed by (A. de Biberstein) Kazimirski (Ends el-Djelis Paris, Barrois, 1847). Ouseley (Orient. Collect.) makes Shahrzad=town-born; and others an Arabisation of Chehr-azad (free of face, ingenuous of countenance) the pet.i.t nom of Queen Humay, for whom see the Terminal Essay. The name of the sister, whom the Fihrist converts into a Kahramanah, or nurse, vulgarly written Dinar-zad, would= child of gold pieces, freed by gold pieces, or one who has no need of gold pieces: Dinzad=child of faith and Daynazad, proposed by Langles, "free from debt (!)" I have adopted Macnaghten's Dunyazad. "Shahryar," which Scott hideously writes "Shier ear," is translated by the Shams, King of the world, absolute monarch and the court of a.n.u.shir wan while the Burhan-i-Kati'a renders it a King of Kings, and P.N. of a town. Shahr-baz is also the P.N. of a town in Samarcand.

[FN#2] Arab. "Malik," here used as in our story-books: "Pompey was a wise and powerful King" says the Gesta Romanorum. This King is, as will appear, a Regent or Governor under Harun al-Rashid.

In the next tale he is Viceroy of Damascus, where he is also called "Sultan."

[FN#3] The Bull Edit. gives the lines as follows:---

The lance was his pen, and the hearts of his foes *

His paper, and dipped he in blood for ink; Hence our sires ent.i.tled the spear Khattiyah, *

Meaning that withal man shall write, I think.

The pun is in "Khattiyah" which may mean a writer (feminine) and also a spear, from Khatt Hajar, a tract in the province Al-Bahrayn (Persian Gulf), and Oman, where the best Indian bamboos were landed and fashioned into lances. Imr al-Keys (Mu'allakah v. 4.) sings of "our dark spears firmly wrought of Khattiyan cane;" Al-Busiri of "the brown lances of Khatt;" also see Lebid v. 50 and Hamasah pp. 26, 231, Antar notes the "Spears of Khatt" and "Rudaynian lances." Rudaynah is said to have been the wife of one Samhar, the Ferrara of lances; others make her the wife of Al-Ka'azab and hold Sambar to be a town in Abyssinia where the best weapons were manufactured The pen is the Calamus or Kalam (reed cut for pen) of which the finest and hardest are brought from Java: they require the least ribbing. The rhetorical figure in the text is called Husn al-Ta'alil, our aetiology; and is as admirable to the Arabs as it appears silly to us.

[FN#4] "He loves folk" is high praise, meaning something more than benevolence and beneficence.. Like charity it covers a host of sins.

[FN#5] The sentence is euphuistic.

[FN#6] Arab. "Rubb"=syrup a word Europeanised by the "Rob Laffecteur."

[FN#7] The Septentriones or four oxen and their wain.

[FN#8] The list fatally reminds us of "astronomy and the use of the globes" . . . "Shakespeare and the musical gla.s.ses."

[FN#9] The octave occurs in Night xv. I quote Torrens (p. 360) by way of variety.

[FN#10] A courteous formula of closing with the offer.

[FN#11] To express our "change of climate" Easterns say, "change of water and air," water coming first.

[FN#12] "The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night" (Psalm cxxi. 6). Easterns still believe in the blighting effect of the moon's rays, which the Northerners of Europe, who view it under different conditions, are pleased to deny. I have seen a hale and hearty Arab, after sitting an hour in the moonlight, look like a man fresh from a sick bed; and I knew an Englishman in India whose face was temporarily paralysed by sleeping with it exposed to the moon.

[FN#13] The negroids and negroes of Zanzibar.

[FN#14] i.e. Why not make thy heart as soft as thy sides! The converse of this was reported at Paris during the Empire, when a man had by mistake pinched a very high personage: "Ah, Madame! if your heart be as hard as (what he had pinched) I am a lost man."

[FN#15] "Na'iman" is said to one after bathing or head-shaving: the proper reply, for in the East every sign of ceremony has its countersign, is "Allah benefit thee!" (Pilgrimage i. 11, iii.

285; Lane M. E. chaps. viii.; Caussin de Perceval's Arabic Grammar, etc., etc.) I have given a specimen (Pilgrimage i., 122) not only of sign and countersign, but also of the rhyming repartee which rakes love. Hanien ! (pleasant to thee! said when a man drinks). Allah pleasure thee (Allah yuhannik which Arnauts and other ruffians perverted to Allah yanik, Allah copulate with thee); thou drinkest for ten! I am the c.o.c.k and thou art the hen!