The Book Of Good Manners; A Guide To Polite Usage For All Social Functions Part 39

Pall-bearers should be asked either by note or by a representative of the head of the family of the deceased.

The pall-bearers a.s.semble at the house at the appointed hour, and there take the carriages reserved for them. They disperse after the church service.

Except in the case of young women, carriages are not sent to bring pall-bearers to the house.

CALLS. After accepting an invitation to act as a pall-bearer, a man should call at the house of the bereaved and leave his card.

A few days after the funeral he should call again and leave his card. If he wishes, he may simply ask at the door after the women of the family.

DRESS. The pall-bearers wear black frock coat, trousers, and waistcoat, a black silk hat with a mourning band, black shoes, and black kid gloves. The linen should be white

FLOWERS. Unless there has been a request not to send flowers, a pall-bearer may do so after his first call.

If he wishes, a few days after the funeral he may send flowers to the women of the family with his card, on which should be written: With the compliments of -----.

INVITATIONS. The invitation should be promptly accepted or declined, and if accepted only illness or unavoidable absence from the city would excuse a man from attending.

PAPER WEDDING. The first wedding anniversary is called the paper wedding, and is not usually celebrated. If, however, it is celebrated, the invitations may bear the words: No presents received. Congratulations should be extended in accepting or declining the invitations. Any article of paper would be an appropriate gift. An entertainment should follow.

PARTIES. These are less formal than b.a.l.l.s.

They generally begin at nine or nine-thirty, with dancing at ten-thirty or eleven. The supper precedes the dancing. Those who do not take part in the dancing may leave before it begins.

INVITATIONS. These are engraved, giving hour for beginning in lower left-hand corner, and should be sent two weeks in advance. One envelope only need be used. They should be answered promptly.

PATRONESSES. It is customary for the management of any inst.i.tution giving a public ball to formally invite six, eight, or more married women to act as patronesses, and for their names to appear on the invitations. If badges are worn, each patroness is sent one or given one at the ball-room.

The patronesses, after being welcomed at the ball by the management committees, take their places, ready to receive the guests.

The Committee of Arrangements should look after the patronesses, introduce distinguished guests to them, escort them to supper and finally to their carriages.

See also COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS-- PATRONESSES. DANCES.

PEACHES should be quartered and the quarters peeled, then taken up by the fingers and eaten.

PEAS are eaten with a fork.

PLUMS AND GRAPES should be eaten one by one, and the pits allowed to fall noiselessly into the half-closed hand and then transferred to the plate.

POSTAL CARDS. It is wise to restrict the use of postals to impersonal communications; but if they must be used, the message should be brief with an apology for its use. It is a good plan in addition to omit the usual My dear, and to sign with the initials only and the full surname.

POSTPONING DINNERS See CANCELING DINNERS.

POSTPONING WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS--INVITATIONS RECALLED.

PRECEDENCE.

DINNERS. See DINNERS--PRECEDENCE.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--PRECEDENCE.

THEATRE. See THEATRE--PRECEDENCE.

PRESENTS. See GIFTS.

PRESIDENT--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have the honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr.

President, and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: President John Wilson.

PRINCE, ROYAL--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, may it please your Royal Highness, and ends: I have the honor to remain, sir, your Royal Highness' humble servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Sir, and ends: Your Royal Highness' most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales.

PRINCESS, 'ROYAL-HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, may it please your Royal Highness, and ends: Your Royal Highness'

most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Madam, and ends: Your Royal Highness' most obedient servant.