The Book Of General Ignorance Part 32

Irish.

Despite his reputation as one of England's greatest generals, Arthur Wellesley, the 1st Duke of Wellington, was unarguably an Irishman.

He was born in Dublin in 1769 into the Wesley family, whose seat was Dangan Castle, near Trim in County Meath. He later married into one of Ireland's most notable families, the Longfords, and served in the Irish parliament in 1790.

If further proof were needed of his nationality, there is also his decision to play for the All Ireland team in the first recorded game of cricket played in Ireland in August 1792. Their opponents were a team from the local British garrison in Dublin. The Duke notched up a distinctively unimpressive total of six runs from his two innings.

The Duke's grandfather, the 1st Baron Mornington, was called Richard Colley, but a.s.sumed the surname of Wesley after inheriting the estates of a distant relative. While the Colleys had been in Ireland for several centuries, the Wesleys were wealthier and could claim that their ancestor had arrived in Ireland as Henry II's standard-bearer. In 1798, the Duke and his family changed their names to Wellesley, just because it sounded grander.

Debate about the Duke's Irishness was widespread during his lifetime. It is often claimed that he repudiated his link to Ireland by saying that 'A man can be born in a stable, and yet not be an animal.' However, there is no evidence he ever said this: it probably originated as scurrilous court gossip.

Wellington remained as proud of his connections with Ireland as the Irish were of him; a monument 62.5 metres high (205 feet) stands in Phoenix Park in memory of his achievements.

The other quote that he famously didn't say was: 'The Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton.' It was first attributed to the Duke four years after he died in a work of Catholic propaganda by the French historian, Count de Montalembert.

It's worth pointing out that when Wellington briefly and unsuccessfully attended Eton, the school had no playing fields and he was a pupil noted for his lack of enthusiasm for, or talent at, games.

Who was Britain's first Prime Minister?

a) Sir Robert Walpole b) William Pitt the Elder c) The Duke of Wellington d) Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman. The expression 'Prime Minister' was first officially used in 1905 just five days after he became one. Before then the term had been one of abuse.

Sir Robert Walpole, generally recognised as the first de facto de facto Prime Minister, never used the word: he and his successors were 'First Lords of the Treasury'. This included Campbell-Bannerman until 10 December 1905, when in the first official use a Royal Warrant placed the 'Prime Minister' in order of precedence after the Archbishop of York. Prime Minister, never used the word: he and his successors were 'First Lords of the Treasury'. This included Campbell-Bannerman until 10 December 1905, when in the first official use a Royal Warrant placed the 'Prime Minister' in order of precedence after the Archbishop of York.

Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman (18361908) was born Henry Campbell. The name Bannerman was added in 1871, as a condition to his inheriting his uncle's estate. After succeeding Arthur James Balfour, who resigned in 1905, Campbell-Bannerman became Britain's first official Prime Minister. His unusually strong cabinet included two future Prime Ministers (Asquith and Lloyd George) and he led the Liberals to a landslide victory in the 1906 General Election.

More radical than liberal, he supported women's suffrage and Irish devolution; introduced the Old Age Pension; improved the lot of the poor; denounced British 'barbarism' in the conduct of the Boer War; arranged self-government for much of South Africa; and pushed through the Trade Disputes Act in 1906 which gave unions considerable freedom to strike.

In 1907, the year after the election, he had a heart attack, followed by a second one in 1908, after which he resigned in favour of Asquith. Just over two weeks later, he died at No. 10 Downing Street.

His last words were: 'This is not the end of me.'

Who invented the Penny Post?

Once upon a time every schoolboy's hand would have shot up and the cla.s.s would have shouted 'Rowland Hill in 1840, Sir!' in unison. Not these days.

This isn't such a disaster, because those clever-clogs were wrong. William Dockwra had already established the London Penny Post 240 years earlier. It handled packets up to one pound in weight, there were several deliveries a day, and items were also delivered to addresses within ten miles of London for an extra charge of one penny. In 1683, Dockwra was forced to surrender his business to the government-operated General Post Office, a monopoly controlled by the Duke of York, later King James II.

In 1764, Parliament authorised the creation of Penny Posts in any town or city of the UK. By the beginning of the nineteenth century several were in existence. In 1840, Rowland Hill's Uniform Penny Post was established throughout the UK, and soon afterwards postage could be prepaid with the adhesive stamp known as the Penny Black. In 1898, the Imperial Penny Post extended the rate throughout the British Empire.

There are several candidates for the first true postal service. Egyptian pharaohs had an organised courier system as early as 2400 BC BC. The envelope was invented in a.s.syria around 2000 BC BC: both letters and envelopes were made of pottery. Cyrus the Great (568528 BC BC), the founder of the Persian Empire, had a swift courier service that greatly impressed Herodotus. Confucius (551479 BC BC) wrote: 'News travels faster than the mail,' so presumably the Chinese had one around that time too.

The word 'post' comes from the Latin posita posita, 'placed', from the verb ponere ponere, 'to place'. The Roman postal service was two-tier: first cla.s.s went by horse and second cla.s.s by ox-cart. The word 'mail' comes from Old French male male, a wallet or bag The Postmaster General in 1840, Lord Lichfield, criticised Hill's scheme as 'wild and visionary' but it was an immediate success, especially with Queen Victoria. She liked the profile portrait of her on the Penny Black so much that she ordered that the same image be used on all subsequent issues of the stamp for the next sixty years.

The first philatelist surfaced within a year of the first stamp being issued: a young woman who advertised in The Times The Times for sufficient stamps to cover her bedroom walls. Because the UK was the first to issue them, British stamps have the unique distinction of not carrying the name of the issuing country. for sufficient stamps to cover her bedroom walls. Because the UK was the first to issue them, British stamps have the unique distinction of not carrying the name of the issuing country.

What do you get when you're 100 years old?

[image]

A telemessage.

It's no longer a telegram from Her Majesty and it isn't automatic you have to apply for it.

UK inland telegrams were abolished in 1982 and replaced by telemessages which are delivered the next day, along with the normal post. BT describes the new service as: 'an efficient means of contacting customers with vital information, integrating into their whole customer communication strategy to produce real added value results.' Sounds enticing, doesn't it?

In the United Kingdom, the Queen (if asked) sends telemessage greetings on the 100th birthday and on every birthday after the 105th. In the United States, centenarians receive a letter from the President. Today, centenarians are the fastest-growing demographic group in the UK increasing by 7 per cent each year. In 2000, there were 7,000 people in the UK aged 100 or more. Worldwide, there were an estimated 100,000. By 2050, there could be more than two million.

According to Genesis 5: 27, Methuselah lived to be 969 years old. It has been suggested that this was a translation error in which lunar cycles were mistaken for the solar ones, and the actual ages are 13.5 times less. This makes Methusaleh a rather ordinary seventy-two. However, other patriarchs such as Mahalalel (Genesis 5: 15) and Enoch (Genesis 5: 21) were said to have become fathers after sixty-five 'years'. If the lunar cycle theory is accepted this would translate to an age of about four years and ten months.

Jeanne Calment of Arles is the oldest person whose age has definitely been verified by modern doc.u.mentation. Born in 1875, she lived to the age of 122.

At 116 years, Christian Mortensen (18821998), a Danish-born American, is the oldest doc.u.mented male. His closest rival, Shigechiyo Izumi (?18651986) from j.a.pan, is supposed to have reached 120, but there are rumours that his birth certificate was actually his brother's. His claim is recognised by the Guinness Book of World Records Guinness Book of World Records.

On her 121st birthday, Jeanne Calment was asked for the secret of her longevity. She attributed it to olive oil, which she ate nearly every meal as well as rubbing it into her skin. 'I only have one wrinkle,' she gurgled coquettishly, 'and I'm sitting on it.'

EPISODES.

SERIES A.

Pilotf Alan Davies (118 points) Bill Bailey (Winner with 132 points) Eddie Izzard (131 points) 1st and only appearance Kit Hesketh-Harvey (125 points) 1st and only appearance Episode 1 'Adam'

Alan Davies (5 points) Danny Baker (Winner with 18 points) 1st appearance Hugh Laurie (11 points) 1st and only appearance John Sessions (10 points) 1st appearanc Episode 2 'Astronomy'

Alan Davies (30 points) Bill Bailey (5 points) 1st appearance Rich Hall (Joint Winner with 20 points) 1st appearance Jeremy Hardy (Joint Winner with 20 points) 1st appearance Episode 3 'Aquatic Animals'

Alan Davies (20 points) Clive Anderson (Winner with 26 points) 1st appearance Bill Bailey (10 points) 2nd appearance Meera Syal (19 points) 1st and only appearance Episode 4 'Atoms'

Alan Davies (24 points) Jo Brand (Winner with 36 points) 1st appearance Howard Goodall (13 points) 1st appearance Jeremy Hardy (7 points) 2nd appearance Episode 5 'Advertising'

Alan Davies (15 points) Gyles Brandreth (Winner with 54 points) 1st and only appearance Rob Brydon (17 points) 1st appearance Rich Hall (35 points) 2nd appearance Episode 6 'Antidotes'

Alan Davies (8 points) Danny Baker (Winner with 19 points) 2nd appearance Jo Brand (13 points) 2nd appearance Howard Goodall (17 points) 2nd appearance Episode 7 'Arthropods'

Alan Davies (0 points) Jo Brand (38 points) 3rd appearance Jimmy Carr (1 point) 1st appearance Jackie Clune (Winner with 5 points) 1st and only appearance Episode 8 'Albania'

Alan Davies (30 points) Clive Anderson (Winner with 37 points) 2nd appearance Sean Lock (25 points) 1st appearance Linda Smith (30 points) 1st appearance Episode 9 'Africa'

Alan Davies (10 points) Jo Brand (15 points) 4th appearance Dave Gorman (Winner with 20 points) 1st and only appearance Jeremy Hardy (15 points) 3rd appearance Episode 10 'Alan'

Alan Davies (Winner with 23 points!) 1st win Rich Hall (3 points) 3rd appearance Julia Morris (9 points) 1st and only appearance Peter Serafinowicz (5 points) 1st and only appearance Episode 11 'Arts'

Alan Davies (18 points) Bill Bailey (2 points) 3rd appearance Richard E. Grant (Winner with 12 points) 1st and only appearance Linda Smith (5 points) 2nd appearance Episode 12 'Advent' (Christmas Special) Alan Davies (6 points) Phill Jupitus (5 points) 1st appearance Sean Lock (7 points) 2nd appearance John Sessions (Winner with 28 points) 2nd appearance SERIES B.

Episode 1 'Blue'

Alan Davies (22 points) Bill Bailey (7 points) 4th appearance Jo Brand (20 points) 5th appearance Sean Lock (Winner with 17 points) 3rd appearance Episode 2 'Birds'

Alan Davies (40 points) Jo Brand (8 points) 6th appearance Rich Hall (Winner with 3 points) 4th appearance Phil Kay (1 point) 1st appearance Episode 3 'Bombs'

Alan Davies (4 points) Clive Anderson (1 point) 3rd appearance Rich Hall (2 points) 5th appearance Phill Jupitus (Winner with 4 points) 2nd appearance Episode 4 'Bible'

Alan Davies (6 points) Jeremy Clarkson (Winner with 5 points) 1st appearance Barry Cryer (6 points) 1st and only appearance Jeremy Hardy (3 points) 4th appearance Episode 5 'Bears'

Alan Davies (35 points) Bill Bailey (5 points) 5th appearance Jo Brand (8 points) 7th appearance Jimmy Carr (Winner with 15 points) 2nd appearance Episode 6 'Beavers'

Alan Davies (18 points) Bill Bailey (6 points) 6th appearance Sean Lock (18 points) 4th appearance Anneka Rice (Winner with 7 points) 1st and only appearance Episode 7 'Biscuits'

Alan Davies (20 points) Rich Hall (2 points) 6th appearance Dara o Briain (Winner with 4 points) 1st appearance Arthur Smith (18 points) 1st appearance Episode 8 'Bees'

Alan Davies (19 points) Rich Hall (Winner with 5 points) 7th appearance Jo Brand (8 points) 8th appearance Fred MacAulay (4 points) 1st and only appearance Episode 9 'Bats'

Alan Davies (72 points) Rich Hall (Joint Winner With 4 points) 8th appearance Josie Lawrence (Joint Winner With 4 points) 1st and only appearance John Sessions (14 points) 3rd appearance Episode 10 'Bills'

Alan Davies (26 points) Phil Kay (0 points) 2nd appearance Clive Anderson (Winner with 1 point) 4th appearance John Sessions (10 points) 4th appearance Episode 11 'Beats'

Alan Davies (13 points) Mark Gatiss (4 points) 1st and only appearance Sean Lock (8 points) 5th appearance Linda Smith (Winner with 2 points) 3rd and final appearance Episode 12 'Birth' (Christmas special) Alan Davies (52 points) Rich Hall (Winner with 7 points) 9th appearance (6th appearance of the series) Mark Steel (2 points) 1st appearance Phill Jupitus (3 points) 3rd appearance Stephen Fry (56 points) SERIES C.

Episode 1 'Campanology'

Alan Davies (25 points) Bill Bailey (5 points) 7th appearance Rob Brydon (16 points) 2nd appearance Rich Hall (Winner with 8 points) 10th appearance Episode 2 'c.u.mmingtonite'

Alan Davies (4 points) Andy Hamilton (Winner with 5 points) 1st appearance Doon Mackichan (2 points) 1st appearance Arthur Smith (6 points) 2nd appearance Episode 3 'Common Knowledge'

Alan Davies (9 points) Jimmy Carr (12 points) 3rd appearance Sean Lock (0 points) 6th appearance Rory McGrath (Winner with 88 points) 1st appearance Episode 4 'Cheating'

Alan Davies (52 points) Alexander Armstrong (Winner with 93 points) 1st and only appearance Jeremy Clarkson (0 points) 2nd appearance John Sessions (10 points) 5th appearance Episode 5 'Cat's Eyes'

Alan Davies (18 points) Jo Brand (28 points) 9th appearance Rich Hall (3 points) 11th appearance Sean Lock (Winner with 12 points) 7th appearance Episode 6 'c.o.c.kneys'

Alan Davies (19 points) Bill Bailey (Winner with 3 points) 8th appearance Phill Jupitus (12 points) 4th appearance Rory McGrath (1 point) 2nd appearance Episode 7 'Constellations'

Alan Davies (18 points) Jeremy Clarkson (Winner with 5 points) 3rd appearance Rich Hall (2 points) 12th appearance Sean Lock (3 points) 8th appearance Episode 8 'Corby'

Alan Davies (40 points) Bill Bailey (8 points) 9th appearance Phill Jupitus (9 points) 5th appearance David Mitch.e.l.l (Winner with 0 points) 1st appearance Episode 9 'Creatures'

Alan Davies (15 points) Helen Atkinson-Wood (Winner with 200 points) 1st and only appearance Bill Bailey (20 points) 10th appearance Andy Hamilton (22 points) 2nd appearance Episode 10 'Cleve Crudgington'

Alan Davies (84 points) Clive Anderson (28 points) 5th appearance John Sessions (16 points) 6th appearance Mark Steel (Winner with 2 points) 2nd appearance Episode 11 'Carnival'

Alan Davies (26 points) Clive Anderson (Winner with 0 points) 6th appearance Jo Brand (23 points) 10th appearance Phill Jupitus (23 points) 6th appearance Episode 12 'Combustion'

Alan Davies (47 points) Bill Bailey (Winner with 3 points) 11th appearance Phill Jupitus (18 points) 7th appearance Dara o Briain (8 points) 2nd appearance SERIES D.

Episode 1 'Danger'

Alan Davies (19 points) Jo Brand (Winner with 7 points) 11th appearance Jimmy Carr (0 points) 4th appearance Sean Lock (4 points) 9th appearance Episode 2 'Discoveries'

Alan Davies (0 points) Clive Anderson (7 points) 7th appearance Vic Reeves (Winner with 16 points) 1st appearance Arthur Smith (23 points) 3rd appearance Episode 3 'Dogs'

Alan Davies (36 points) Jeremy Clarkson (13 points) 4th appearance Neil Mullarkey (Winner with 5 points) 1st and only appearance Liza Tarbuck (8 points) 1st and only appearance Episode 4 'Dictionaries'

Alan Davies (7 points) Ronni Ancona (Winner with 13 points) 1st appearance Rory Bremner (7 points) 1st and only appearance Phill Jupitus (7 points) 8th appearance Episode 5 'Death' (Halloween Special) Alan Davies (15 points) Clive Anderson (24 points) 8th appearance Sen Lock (8 points) 10th appearance Andy Parsons (Technical Winner with 0 points) 1st and only appearance The Audience (Winner with 2 points) First victory Episode 6 'Drinks'

Alan Davies (Winner with 10 points!) 2nd win Jimmy Carr (2 points) 5th appearance Phill Jupitus (15 points) 9th appearance John Sessions (3 points) 7th appearance Episode 7 'Differences'

Alan Davies (144 points) Jo Brand (16 points) 12th appearance Julian Clary (8 points) 1st and only appearance Dara o Briain (Winner with 3 points) 3rd appearance Episode 8 'Descendants' (Children in Need Special) Alan Davies (29,000,000 points) Rich Hall (2,000,000 points) 13th appearance Phill Jupitus (1,000,000 points) 10th appearance Jonathan Ross (winner with 3,000,000 points) 1st and only appearance Episode 9 'Doves'

Alan Davies (Winner with 54 points!) 3rd win Andy Hamilton (8 points) 3rd appearance David Mitch.e.l.l (9 points) 2nd appearance John Sessions (4 points) 8th appearance Episode 10 'Divination'

Alan Davies (70 points) Graeme Garden (Winner with 7 points) 1st and only appearance Phill Jupitus (6 points) 11th appearance Johnny Vaughan (19 points) 1st and only appearance Episode 11 'Denial & Deprivation'

Alan Davies (39 points) Roger McGough (Joint Winner with 1 point) 1st and only appearance Vic Reeves (Joint Winner with 1 point) 2nd appearance Mark Steel (6 points) 3rd appearance Episode 12 'Domesticity'

Alan Davies (64 points) Jo Brand (18 points) 13th appearance Phill Jupitus (4 points) 12th appearance Jessica Stevenson (Winner with 3 points) 1st and only appearance Episode 13 'December' (Christmas Special) Alan Davies (53 points) Jo Brand (17 points) 14th appearance Rich Hall (9 points) 14th appearance Dara o Briain (Winner with 2 points) 4th appearance SERIES E.

Episode 1 'Engineering'

Alan Davies (4 points) Bill Bailey (18 points) 12th appearance Rob Brydon (Winner with 11 points) 3rd appearance Jimmy Carr (2 points) 6th appearance Episode 2 'Electricity'

Alan Davies (21 points) Jo Brand (Winner with 10 points) 15th appearance Rich Hall (1 point) 15th appearance Sean Lock (12 points) 11th appearance Episode 3 'Eating'

Alan Davies (Winner with 2 points!) 4th win Jimmy Carr (6 points) 7th appearance Phill Jupitus (21 points) 13th appearance Johnny Vegas (3 points) 1st appearance Episode 4 'Exploration'

Alan Davies (8 points) Bill Bailey (3 points) 13th appearance Rich Hall (Winner with 8 points) 16th appearance Sean Lock (16 points) 12th appearance Episode 5 'Europe Alan Davies (26 points) Phill Jupitus (Winner with 5 points) 14th appearance David Mitch.e.l.l (7 points) 3rd appearance Dara o Briain (27 points) 5th appearance The Audience (100 points) Episode 6 'Everything, Etc.'

Alan Davies (24 points) Clive Anderson (25 points) 9th appearance Jeremy Clarkson (30 points) 5th appearance Vic Reeves (Winner with 6 points) 3rd appearance Episode 7 'Espionage'

Alan Davies (8 points) Clive Anderson (Joint winner with 5 points) 10th appearance Jo Brand (4 points) 16th appearance Vic Reeves (Joint winner with 5 points) 4th appearance Episode 8 'Eyes & Ears'

Alan Davies (Winner with 13 points!) 5th win Jimmy Carr (10 points) 8th appearance Phill Jupitus (3 points) 15th appearance David Mitch.e.l.l (11 points) 4th appearance Episode 9 'Entertainment' (Children in Need Special) Alan Davies (6 points) Bill Bailey (6 points) 14th appearance Jo Brand (2 points) 17th appearance Jeremy Clarkson (Winner with 4 points) 6th appearance Episode 10 'England'

Alan Davies (59 points) Charlie Higson (15 points) 1st appearance Phill Jupitus (Technical winner with 8 points) 16th appearance Sean Lock (29 points) 13th appearance The Audience (Winners with 10 points) Second victory Episode 11 'Endings'

Alan Davies (17 points) Jimmy Carr (Joint winner with 5 points) 9th appearance Doon Mackichan (17 points) 2nd appearance Dara o Briain (Joint winner with 5 points) 6th appearance Episode 12 'Empire' (Christmas Special) Alan Davies (Winner with 10 points!) 6th win Bill Bailey (8 points) 15th appearance Jo Brand (33 points) 18th appearance Sean Lock (8 points) 14th appearance Episode 13 'Elephants'

Compilation.

SERIES F.

Episode 1 'Fingers & Fumbs'