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'But what is champagne?' he interrupted.
'Something you drink,' she said; 'what else could it be?'
'I see,' he said; 'a sort of orange-juice.'
'Orange-juice!' Ethelinda cried contemptuously; 'it's not in the least like orange-juice; it's----' (she didn't know what it was made of herself, but there was no use in telling him so) 'I couldn't make you understand without too much trouble, you really are so _very_ ignorant, but there's a good deal of it in romances. And dukes, and guardsmen, and being very beautiful and deliciously miserable, till just before the end--that's a romance! My milliner used to have it read out to her while she was dressing me for that ball I told you about.'
'Do you mind telling me what a heroine is?' he asked. 'I know I'm very stupid.'
'A heroine? oh, _any_ doll can be a heroine. I felt all the time the heroines were all just like me. They were either very good or very wicked, and I'm sure I could be the one or the other if I got the chance. I think it would be more amusing, perhaps, to be a little wicked, but then it's not quite so easy, you know.'
'I should think it would be more uncomfortable,' he suggested.
'Ah, but then you see you haven't any sentiment about you,' she said disparagingly.
'No,' he admitted, 'I'm afraid I haven't. I suppose they couldn't put it in for elevenpence three farthings.'
'I should think not,' Ethelinda observed, 'it's very _expensive_.' And then, after a short silence, she said more confidentially, 'you were talking of Master Archie just now. I rather like that boy, do you know.
I believe I could make something of him if he would only let me.'
'He's a mischievous boy,' said the jester, 'and ill-natured too.'
'Yes, _isn't_ he?' she agreed admiringly; 'I like him for that. I fancy a duke or a guardsman must be something like him; they all had just his wicked black eyes and long restless fingers. It wouldn't be quite so dull if he would notice me a little; but he never will!'
'He's going back to school next week,' the jester said rather cheerfully.
'So soon!' sighed Ethelinda. 'There's hardly time for him to make a real heroine of me before that. How I wish he would! I shouldn't care how he did it, or what came of it. I'm sure I should enjoy it, and it would give me something to think about all my life.'
'Say that again, my dainty little lady; say it again!' cried a harsh, jeering voice from beside them, 'and, if you really mean it, perhaps the old Sausage-Glutton can manage it for you. He's done more wonderful things than that in his time, I can tell you.'
The voice came from an old German clock which stood on the mantelpiece, or rather, from a strange painted wooden figure which was part of it--an ugly old man, who sat on the top with a plate of sausages on his knees, and a fork in one hand. Every minute he slowly forked up a sausage from the plate to his mouth, and swallowed it suddenly, while his lower jaw wagged, and his narrow eyes rolled as it went down in a truly horrible manner.
The children had long since given him the name of 'Sausage-Glutton,'
which he richly deserved. He was a sort of magician in his way, having so much clockwork in his inside, and he was spiteful and malicious, owing to the quant.i.ty of wooden sausages he bolted, which would have ruined anyone's digestion and temper.
'Good gracious!' cried Ethelinda, with a start, 'who is that person?'
'Somebody who can be a good kind friend to you, pretty lady, if you only give him leave. So you want some excitement here, do you? You want to be wicked, and interesting, and unfortunate, and all the rest of it, eh?
And you'd like young Archibald (a nice boy that, by the way), you'd like _him_ to give you a little romance? Well, then, he shall, and to-morrow too, hot and strong, if you like to say the word.'
Ethelinda was too much fluttered to speak at first, and she was a little afraid of the old man, too, for he leered all round in such an odd way, and ate so fast and jerkily.
'Don't--oh, _please_ don't!' cried a little squeaky voice above him. It came from a queer little angular doll, with gold-paper wings, a spangled muslin dress, and a wand with a tinsel star at the end of it, who was fastened up on the wall above a picture. 'You won't like it--you won't, really!'
'Don't trust him,' whispered the jester; 'he's a bad old man; he ruined a very promising young dancing n.i.g.g.e.r only the other day, unhinged him so that he will never hook on any more.'
'Ha, ha!' laughed the Sausage-Glutton, as he disposed of another sausage, 'that old fellow in the peculiar coat is jealous, you know; _he_ can't make a heroine of you, and so he doesn't want anyone else to.
Who cares what he says? And as for our little wooden friend up above, well, I _should_ hope a dainty d.u.c.h.ess like you is not going to let herself be dictated to by a low jointed creature, who sets up for a fairy when she knows her sisters dance round white hats every Derby Day.'
'They're not sisters; they're second cousins,' squeaked the poor Dutch doll, very much hurt, 'and they don't mean any harm by it; it's only their high spirits. And whatever you say, _I'm_ a fairy. I had a Christmas-tree of my own once; but I had to leave it, it was so expensive to keep up. Now, you take my advice, my dear, do,' she added to Ethelinda, 'don't you listen to him. He'd give all his sausages to see you in trouble, he would; but he can't do anything unless you give him leave.'
But of course it would have been a little too absurd if Ethelinda had taken advice from a flat-headed twopenny doll and a flabby jester from the Lowther Arcade. 'My good creatures,' she said to them, 'you mean well, no doubt, but pray leave this gentleman and me to settle our own affairs. Can you really get Master Archie to take some notice of me, sir?' she said to the figure on the clock.
'I can, my loveliest,' he said.
'And will it be exciting,' she asked, 'and romantic, and--and just the least bit _wicked_, too?'
'You shall be the very wickedest heroine in any nursery in the world,'
he replied. 'Oh, dear me, how you _will_ enjoy yourself!'
'Then I accept,' said Ethelinda; 'I put myself quite in your hands--I leave everything to you.'
'That's right!' cried the Sausage-Glutton, 'that's a brave little beauty. It's a bargain, then? To-morrow afternoon the fun will begin, and then--my springs and wheels--what a time you will have of it! He, he! You look out for Archibald!'
And then he trembled all over as the clock struck twelve, and went on eating his sausages without another word, while Ethelinda gave herself up to delightful antic.i.p.ations of the wonderful adventures that were actually about to happen to her at last.
But the jester felt very uneasy about it all; he felt so sure that the old Sausage-Glutton's amiability had some trickery underneath it.
'You are a fairy, aren't you?' he said to the Dutch doll in a whisper; 'can't you do anything to help her?'
'No,' she said sulkily; 'and if I could, I wouldn't. She has chosen to put herself in his power, and whatever comes of it will serve her right. I don't know what he means to do, and I can't stop him. Still, if I can't help her, I can help you; and you may want it, because he is sure to be angry with you for trying to warn her.'
'But I never gave him leave to meddle with _me_,' said the jester.
'Have you got sawdust or bran inside you, or what?' asked the fairy.
'Neither,' he said; 'only the bellows I squeak with, and wire. But why?'
'I was afraid so. It's only the dolls with sawdust or bran inside them that he can't do whatever he likes with without their consent. He can do anything he chooses with you; but he shan't hurt you this time, if you only take care--for I'll grant you the very next thing you wish. Only _do_ be careful now about wishing; don't be in a hurry and waste the wish. Wait till things are at their very worst.'
'Thank you very much,' he said; 'I don't mind for myself so much, but I should like to prevent any harm from coming to her. I'll remember.'
Then he bent towards Ethelinda and whispered: 'You didn't believe what the old man on the clock told you about me, did you? I'm not jealous--I'm only a poor jester, and you're a great lady. But you'll let me sit by you, and you'll talk to me sometimes in the evenings as you did to-night, won't you?'
But Ethelinda, though she heard him plainly, pretended to be fast asleep--it was of no consequence to her whether he was jealous or not.
Winifred was sitting the next afternoon alone in her nursery, trying to play. She was a dear little girl about nine years old, with long, soft, brown hair, a straight little nose, and brown eyes which just then had a wistful, dissatisfied look in them--for the fact was that, for some reason or other, she could not get on with her dolls at all.
The jester was not good-looking enough for her; they had put his eyes in so carelessly, and his face had such a 'queer' look, and he was altogether a limp, unmanageable person. She always said to herself that she liked him 'for the sake of the giver,' poor clumsy, good-hearted Martha, the housemaid, who had left in disgrace, and presented him as her parting gift; but one might as well not be cared for at all as be liked in that roundabout way.
And Ethelinda, beautiful and fashionable as she was, was not friendly, and Winifred never could get intimate with her; she felt afraid to treat her as a small child younger than herself, it seemed almost a liberty to nurse her, for Ethelinda seemed to be quite grown up and to know far more than she did herself.
She sat there looking at Ethelinda, and Ethelinda stared back at her in a cold, distant way, as if she half remembered meeting her somewhere before. There was a fixed smile on her vermilion lips which seemed false and even a little contemptuous to poor lonely little Winifred, who thought it was hard that her own doll should despise her.
The jester's smile was amiable enough, though it was rather meaningless, but then no one cared about him or how he smiled, as he lay unnoticed on his back in the corner.
You would not have guessed it from their faces, but both dolls were really very much excited; each was thinking about the Sausage-Glutton and his vague promises, and wondering if, and how, those promises were to be carried out.