The Birds Part 19

PISTHETAERUS And yet the birds must be thoroughly basted with it.(1)

f(1) He pretends to forget the presence of the amba.s.sadors.

HERACLES We have no interest to serve in fighting you; as for you, be friends and we promise that you shall always have rain-water in your pools and the warmest of warm weather. So far as these points go we are armed with plenary authority.

PISTHETAERUS We have never been the aggressors, and even now we are as well disposed for peace as yourselves, provided you agree to one equitable condition, namely, that Zeus yield his sceptre to the birds.

If only this is agreed to, I invite the amba.s.sadors to dinner.

HERACLES That's good enough for me. I vote for peace.

POSIDON You wretch! you are nothing but a fool and a glutton. Do you want to dethrone your own father?

PISTHETAERUS What an error! Why, the G.o.ds will be much more powerful if the birds govern the earth. At present the mortals are hidden beneath the clouds, escape your observation, and commit perjury in your name; but if you had the birds for your allies, and a man, after having sworn by the crow and Zeus, should fail to keep his oath, the crow would dive down upon him unawares and pluck out his eye.

POSIDON Well thought of, by Posidon!(1)

f(1) Posidon jestingly swears by himself.

HERACLES My notion too.

PISTHETAERUS (TO THE TRIBALLIAN) And you, what's your opinion?

TRIBALLUS Nabaisatreu.(1)

f(1) The barbarian G.o.d utters some gibberish which Pisthetaerus interprets into consent.

PISTHETAERUS D'you see? he also approves. But hear another thing in which we can serve you. If a man vows to offer a sacrifice to some G.o.d, and then procrastinates, pretending that the G.o.ds can wait, and thus does not keep his word, we shall punish his stinginess.

POSIDON Ah! ah! and how?

PISTHETAERUS While he is counting his money or is in the bath, a kite will relieve him, before he knows it, either in coin or in clothes, of the value of a couple of sheep, and carry it to the G.o.d.

HERACLES I vote for restoring them the sceptre.

POSIDON Ask the Triballian.

HERACLES Hi Triballian, do you want a thrashing?

TRIBALLUS Saunaka baktarikrousa.

HERACLES He says, "Right willingly."

POSIDON If that be the opinion of both of you, why, I consent too.

HERACLES Very well! we accord the sceptre.

PISTHETAERUS Ah! I was nearly forgetting another condition. I will leave Here to Zeus, but only if the young Basileia is given me in marriage.

POSIDON Then you don't want peace. Let us withdraw.

PISTHETAERUS It matters mighty little to me. Cook, look to the gravy.

HERACLES What an odd fellow this Posidon is! Where are you off to? Are we going to war about a woman?

POSIDON What else is there to do?

HERACLES What else? Why, conclude peace.

POSIDON Oh! you ninny! do you always want to be fooled? Why, you are seeking your own downfall. If Zeus were to die, after having yielded them the sovereignty, you would be ruined, for you are the heir of all the wealth he will leave behind.

PISTHETAERUS Oh! by the G.o.ds! how he is cajoling you. Step aside, that I may have a word with you. Your uncle is getting the better of you, my poor friend.(1) The law will not allow you an obolus of the paternal property, for you are a b.a.s.t.a.r.d and not a legitimate child.

f(1) Heracles, the G.o.d of strength, was far from being remarkable in the way of cleverness.

HERACLES I a b.a.s.t.a.r.d! What's that you tell me?

PISTHETAERUS Why, certainly; are you not born of a stranger woman?

Besides, is not Athene recognized as Zeus' sole heiress? And no daughter would be that, if she had a legitimate brother.

HERACLES But what if my father wished to give me his property on his death-bed, even though I be a b.a.s.t.a.r.d?

PISTHETAERUS The law forbids it, and this same Posidon would be the first to lay claim to his wealth, in virtue of being his legitimate brother. Listen; thus runs Solon's law: "A b.a.s.t.a.r.d shall not inherit, if there are legitimate children; and if there are no legitimate children, the property shall pa.s.s to the nearest kin."(1)

f(1) This was Athenian law.

HERACLES And I get nothing whatever of the paternal property?

PISTHETAERUS Absolutely nothing. But tell me, has your father had you entered on the registers of his phratria?(1)

f(1) The poet attributes to the G.o.ds the same customs as those which governed Athens, and according to which no child was looked upon as legitimate unless his father had entered him on the registers of his phratria. The phratria was a division of the tribe and consisted of thirty families.

HERACLES No, and I have long been surprised at the omission.

PISTHETAERUS What ails you, that you should shake your fist at heaven?

Do you want to fight it? Why, be on my side, I will make you a king and will feed you on bird's milk and honey.

HERACLES Your further condition seems fair to me. I cede you the young damsel.

POSIDON But I, I vote against this opinion.

PISTHETAERUS Then it all depends on the Triballian. (TO THE TRIBALLIAN.) What do you say?