The Best Nonsense Verses Part 3

8

Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle, Where the early pumpkins blow, To the calm and silent sea Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.

There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle, Lay a large and lively Turtle.

"You're the Cove," he said, "for me; On your back beyond the sea, Turtle, you shall carry me!"

Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.

9

Through the silent roaring ocean Did the Turtle swiftly go; Holding fast upon his sh.e.l.l Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.

With a sad primeval motion Toward the sunset isles of Boshen Still the Turtle bore him well.

Holding fast upon his sh.e.l.l, "Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!"

Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.

10

From the Coast of Coromandel Did that Lady never go, On that heap of stones she mourns For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.

On that Coast of Coromandel, In his jug without a handle Still she weeps, and daily moans; On the little heap of stones To her Dorking Hens she moans, For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.

[_Edward Lear_

NONSENSE VERSES

1

There was an Old Man with a beard, Who said, "It is just as I feared!-- Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren, Have all built their nests in my beard."

2

There was an old man of Hong Kong, Who never did anything wrong; He lay on his back, with his head in a sack, That innocuous old man of Hong Kong.

3

There was an Old Man who supposed That the street door was partially closed; But some very large Rats ate his coats and his hats, While that futile Old Gentleman dozed.

4

There was a Young Lady of Norway, Who casually sat in a doorway; When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed "What of that?"

This courageous Young Lady of Norway.

5

There was an old person of Bow, Whom n.o.body happened to know; So they gave him some soap, and said coldly, "We hope You will go back directly to Bow!"

6

There was an Old Man on some rocks, Who shut his wife up in a box: When she said, "Let me out," he exclaimed, "Without doubt You will pa.s.s all your life in that box!"

7

There was an old man who said, "How Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?

I will sit on this stile, and continue to smile, Which may soften the heart of that Cow."

8

There was an old man who said "Hush!

I perceive a young bird in this bush!"

When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all; It is four times as big as the bush!"

9

There was a young person in green, Who seldom was fit to be seen; She wore a long shawl, over bonnet and all, Which enveloped that person in green.

10

There was an old person of Ware, Who rode on the back of a bear; When they asked, "Does it trot?" he said, "Certainly not!

He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!"

[_Edward Lear_

GENTLE ALICE BROWN

It was a robber's daughter, and her name was Alice Brown, Her father was the terror of a small Italian town; Her mother was a foolish, weak, but amiable old thing; But it isn't of her parents that I'm going for to sing.

As Alice was a-sitting at her window-sill one day A beautiful young gentleman he chanced to pa.s.s that way; She cast her eyes upon him, and he looked so good and true, That she thought, "I could be happy with a gentleman like you!"

And every morning pa.s.sed her house that cream of gentlemen, She knew she might expect him at a quarter unto ten, A sorter in the Custom-house, it was his daily road (The Custom-house was fifteen minutes' walk from her abode).

But Alice was a pious girl, who knew it wasn't wise To look at strange young sorters with expressive purple eyes; So she sought the village priest to whom her family confessed-- The priest by whom their little sins were carefully a.s.sessed.

"Oh, holy father," Alice said, "'twould grieve you, would it not?

To discover that I was a most disreputable lot!

Of all unhappy sinners I'm the most unhappy one!"

The padre said, "Whatever have you been and gone and done?"

"I have helped mamma to steal a little kiddy from its dad, I've a.s.sisted dear papa in cutting up a little lad.

I've planned a little burglary and forged a little cheque, And slain a little baby for the coral on its neck!"

The worthy pastor heaved a sigh, and dropped a silent tear-- And said, "You mustn't judge yourself too heavily, my dear-- It's wrong to murder babies, little corals for to fleece; But sins like these one expiates at half-a-crown apiece.

"Girls will be girls--you're very young and flighty in your mind; Old heads upon young shoulders we must not expect to find; We mustn't be too hard upon these little girlish tricks-- Let's see--five crimes at half-a-crown--exactly twelve-and-six."