The Beloved Traitor Part 34

Only one thing stood out, sharp-lined, clear, absolute, irrevocable in itself--he must go to Marie-Louise paying the price. For, apart from all else, apart from the certainty that if he went to her as the great Laparde she would only bid him return again, not in bitterness but in her splendid self-abnegation, apart from this--how else could he make her believe him? He, a man who once had forsworn his oath; he, who once, in her stead, had chosen in ghastly selfishness the fame, the position, the place that were now his--how else could he make her believe him? How else, unless he flung them from him, when once for these very things, a traitor to his manhood and to her, he had turned his back upon her, could she believe that now he held them as naught compared to her; how else could she believe that in his soul and heart, dominant, supreme, lived now only a love for her, greater than it had ever been because it was chastened now, a love near like to her own great wondrous love that she had offered him--and he had spurned? How else--unless to-night the great Laparde should die, and in his place should live again the Jean Laparde she once had known, the humble fisherman of Bernay-sur-Mer? The fisherman of Bernay-sur-Mer! Yes, that was it! It seemed to crystallise suddenly, sharply, into definite, tangible form, the shadowy, nebulous plan that, from the moment his decision had been made as he had stood and watched her there below him on the steerage deck, had been seeking for expression in his mind. The fisherman of Bernay-sur-Mer! None would recognise in the fisherman of Bernay-sur-Mer the Jean Laparde that the world knew--none save her!

He was before the door of his luxurious deck-suite, and in feverish excitement now he flung it open, closed and locked it behind him, switched on the lights, and ran through the sitting-room into the bedroom beyond. Here, where there had been confusion, his things thrown everywhere when he had dressed for dinner and the dance, all was now in order, and his two steamer trunks were neatly stowed away--the steward's work--beneath the bra.s.s bed. He dropped on his knees, and hurriedly dragged one out--the one that Myrna Bliss had chosen for him that day when they had gone to Ma.r.s.eilles from Bernay-sur-Mer. If only Hector had not disturbed it! _Bon Dieu_, if Hector had not meddled with it! He wrenched up the lid. It was Marie-Louise who had thrust that fisherman's suit into his arms that day when she had told him he was free! What was it she had said? Yes, yes! "Promise me, Jean, that you will keep these with you always, and that sometimes in your great world you will look at them and remember--that they too belong to France." And he had laid them in the bottom of the trunk; and, because he had not forgotten so soon, when Hector, whom he had found already installed at the studio, had unpacked for him on his first arrival in Paris, he had told Hector always to leave them there, never to take them out--but after that he had forgotten. He lifted out the tray, and began to remove the clothing that lay beneath it. It was Hector who had packed the trunk for the journey, and--with an exultant cry, he straightened up, the old, worn, heavy boots, the coa.r.s.e socks still tucked into their tops, in his hands.

He put these down, and reached into the trunk again. Yes, they were all here--the cap; the woollen shirt; the rough suit, crumpled, white-spotted with the old salt stains of the sea.

And then for a moment he stood and looked at them--and looked about the cabin--and for a moment fear came. As a blow that staggered him there fell upon him the full significance of their glaring contrast with the rich fittings of the stateroom-de-luxe about him. They seemed to mock at him, these garments, and jeeringly bid him put them back again into the trunk--as he _had_ done once before. What hideously insincere jest did he imagine he was playing with himself, they sneered at him! What had he to do with toil, and poverty, and hardship, with the life these things stood for--he who knew the palaces of kings, he who had luxury, he who had fame, he who had all that he had ever longed for, he who had everything that money, that position, that authority could procure, he who had but to rub the lamp and demand of the world his will?

"No, no!" he cried out suddenly aloud--and, with a quick, impulsive movement, tore off his ulster and threw it on the bed. It was Marie-Louise now--Marie-Louise! Once she had given her all for him.

It was Marie-Louise, wonderful, beautiful, pitiful, the saddest soul in all the world, out there alone on the steerage deck!

And then he stood still again, hesitant, listening. Some one was knocking on the cabin door. And now the door was tried--the knock repeated. Disturbed, uncertain, he still hesitated--then, stepping into the sitting-room, he closed the connecting door between it and the bedroom, and unlocked and opened the door to the deck.

It was Henry Bliss.

"Ah, you're here, Jean!" the other exclaimed, with what was obviously an attempt at unconcern, as he stepped into the cabin. "I've been looking for you all over the ship. What are you doing up here in your room alone, with all this gaiety going on below? Eh--what's the matter?"

Jean stared at Henry Bliss a little sullenly. Since the other had come, was there--it remained only to get rid of him as soon as possible.

"There is nothing the matter," he said shortly--and shrugged his shoulders.

Henry Bliss frowned, and rubbed his hand over his chin nervously.

"Confound it, Jean!" he burst out abruptly. "I know better! You and Myrna have been having another--er--another misunderstanding. In fact, she--that is, I discovered it a few moments ago. I"--he glanced about him as though to make sure they were alone, and caught Jean's arm confidentially--"I spoke to her very seriously, very seriously about it. I--I am sure it is nothing. It is only that you take these things very much to heart, Jean, while she laughs at them."

"_Pardieu_!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Jean ironically. "That is so!"

"No, no!" said Henry Bliss, hurriedly and in confusion. "No--I--that is not what I meant, Jean. Not at all what I meant! I mean that if she takes it lightly, it cannot--er--be so--er--"

"I know what you mean," said Jean moodily. "I have discovered it for myself."

"Tut, tut!" protested Henry Bliss anxiously. "This will never do at all, Jean! You must both make an effort to understand each other better. Myrna is very--er--high-spirited--very! You see that, of course, Jean--eh? Well? Tut, tut! That is all! You must not be too firm or--er--exacting with her at first. I have found--that is, I have not found that to be the most tactful way of handling her. Now slip on your overcoat, my boy, and we'll go down together."

Again Jean shrugged his shoulders. Would it be necessary to open the door and bow even Henry Bliss out?

"No," he said, with pointed finality; "not now. I prefer to remain here for a little while--alone."

Henry Bliss, perturbed and upset, coughed uneasily--and suddenly began to fumble through his pockets. His fingers encountering first a cigar, he took it out mechanically, and, as evidence of the composure he did not possess, bit off the end with deliberate care. Then he fumbled through his pockets again, and this time produced a marconigram. He tapped it playfully with one finger, and smiled engagingly at Jean.

"Well, well, I knew I had a panacea with me," he said cheerily. "This came by wireless half an hour ago; it's what sent me out on the hunt for you, and ran me into Myrna, and made me stumble on the lovers'

quarrel that I am sure will end just like all the rest of them--eh--my boy? Listen!"--unfolding the message. "It is from a gentleman with whom I am well acquainted, who is very prominent in art circles in New York, stating that he has just learned that you are en route for America, and asking, on behalf of the leading New York societies, if you will accept a public reception on the steamer's arrival in New York. There you are, my boy! Think of that! I promise you that it will be something to eclipse anything you could imagine. We _do_ things in America--if I say it myself! It will be the triumph of your career. Bands, flags, bunting, cheers, the dock _en fete_--to say nothing of reporters"--he was laughing now, and patting Jean's arm excitedly. "They'll show you, my boy, what they think of Jean Laparde in America! That's the kind of a welcome they're getting ready for you--it will be the greatest moment of your life! But here"--he stole an almost wistful glance at Jean, and stepping over to the writing desk at the side of the cabin, laid the marconigram down--"I'll just leave this here, and"--he coughed again, and moved tactfully to the door--"and you just kind of think about that instead of anything else, and--er--in about half an hour or so, I'll bring Myrna along up, and we'll talk it all over together--eh--my boy?"

He waved his hand genially, and, without waiting for a reply, went out.

For a moment Jean did not move; then his eyes, as though drawn irresistibly in that direction, shifted from the door that had closed on Henry Bliss to the marconigram lying on the desk--and abruptly he walked over and picked up the wireless message. He read it through laboriously, for his English still came hard to him--and read it again, more slowly, lingering over the words, muttering s.n.a.t.c.hes of the sentences aloud. "... Shall spare no effort ... endeavour worthily to express our sentiments ... splendid genius of which France is so justly proud..."

And, holding it there in his hands, a dull flush came and spread itself over Jean's face. The triumph of his career, Henry Bliss had said--the greatest moment of his life! This great and wonderful America, of which he had heard so much, was waiting for him eagerly--waiting for him--Jean Laparde--Jean Laparde! This was to be his welcome to that New Land where all was on a scale so tremendous and magnificent. To his ears there came the mighty roar of thousands shouting again and again the name of Jean Laparde; before his eyes a sea of faces looked up into his from dense-lined streets as he drove along--and all, all in that vast mult.i.tude were cheering, waving, acclaiming Jean Laparde.

They were waiting for him there at the gateway to America, open-handed, royal in their hospitality, to pay him honour such as he had never known before. They were waiting for him there--for him--for Jean Laparde! They were waiting--

The flush faded from his face, and a whiteness came, and upon his forehead oozed out a bead of moisture--and, as the seconds pa.s.sed, he hung there almost limply, swaying a little in the agony that was upon him. And then slowly the paper that was in his hands was torn across, and the pieces fluttered to the floor, and the great head rose proud in kingship on the broad shoulders--the kingship of himself, the kingship of Jean Laparde.

Ay, they were waiting for him--but there was another beside who was waiting too! He looked at the torn pieces of paper on the floor--and his laugh rang suddenly clear and buoyant through the cabin. Once he had sold his soul for such as that; but to-night, in spite of these devil's tempters that sought to shake his resolution--there was his answer! There was his answer--the answer that had come to him through the fog and mist as through a veil rent suddenly asunder, the answer that was in Marie-Louise's outstretched arms, the answer that was in her banishment from the friends and the France she loved, in the bitter wrong that he had done, in her love that now he knew for its priceless worth! There in that torn paper was his answer!

And he laughed again--and as he laughed, he ran to the door and locked it for the second time. There would be no more of that, no more interruption, no more of those tempter thoughts, no more of them! And, for the moment, no more thought even of Marie-Louise. He had need to centre all his attention upon his immediate acts now, for he must be very careful what he did. And he had little time--had not Henry Bliss said that in half an hour he would return with Myrna?

He ran back into the bedroom, tore off his coat, vest and shirt; and, catching up his toilet-case, hurried into the bathroom. Here, he clipped off his beard and shaved it close--then quickly, a sort of tense, keyed-up excitement constantly growing upon him, he returned once more to the bedroom, and, stripping off the remainder of his clothes, began to put on the fisherman's suit. How heavy and stiff the boots felt upon his feet, how rough and coa.r.s.e the socks were against his skin--and yet how their familiarity thrilled him! He swung his arms, wondering and laughing at the free play of his muscles in the loose shirt, and memories and thoughts began to press upon him--but he checked them almost instantly, for there was no time now for that.

He finished dressing hastily. He must leave no clue behind him that would occasion even a suspicion that he had not carried out the purpose that the world, and essentially those on board the ship, must be made to believe was the last act of Jean Laparde. Amongst a thousand, amongst the conglomerate races that cluttered the ship's steerage, where even amongst themselves few knew each other, where difference in language precluded all but the most scattered and superficial acquaintanceship, none would recognise Jean Laparde in the rough-garbed fisherman--provided always that no search was inst.i.tuted, provided always that there should be no _incentive_ in the mind of any one to search, provided always that it was accepted as a fact--that Jean Laparde was dead! He could not hope perhaps, between now and the time they reached New York, or, at least, on landing, to escape the attention of the ship's officers or the sh.o.r.e officials; but with Jean Laparde a suicide in the mist and fog of that Atlantic night, he would be no more to them than one as rough and ignorant and poor as those others in the steerage--no more than a stowaway.

Jean dropped down on his knees again beside the trunk, and began to replace the articles he had been obliged to remove in order to get at the fisherman's suit. Nothing--not a sign of anything approaching disorder must appear. They would look through everything--Myrna and her father! He shrugged his shoulders whimsically. The visit of Henry Bliss to the cabin, the other's knowledge of the quarrel with Myrna, the other's concern over his, Jean's, moodiness, was, after all, not to be regretted! It would have its significance for Henry Bliss!

He pushed the trunk back beside its mate under the bed. Money now! A sudden, sharp exclamation, almost of dismay, escaped him. He had little or no money--a few French notes, sufficient for his needs on board ship only. Monsieur Bliss had said more was unnecessary--that he could make drafts through the other's banking connections in New York as he needed them. He searched through the clothes he had taken off, found his pocketbook, opened it, and counted the contents--five twenty-franc notes, a ten-franc gold piece, some silver--that was all!

Less than twenty-five dollars in American money! Well, if it was all--it was all! It could not be helped! He shoved the pocketbook philosophically into his pocket; and, gathering up the clothes he had worn, tied them into a bundle. There remained only the heavy ulster.

He looked slowly, critically about him; and, satisfied that he had overlooked nothing, walked swiftly into the sitting-room, seated himself at the writing desk, and, from one of its pigeon-holes, pulled out a sheet of the ship's notepaper. He hesitated a moment thoughtfully--then picked up a pen.

"_Je m'ennui de tout_--I am tired of it all," he wrote. He balanced the pen in his fingers, and stared at the words cynically. What a commotion it would cause! What food for excitement, for the hysteria of those who cared nothing save for the self-importance it brought them in being so intimately connected with so famous a tragedy as to have been on the _same_ ship where it occurred! They would remember what he had eaten for dinner that night, and quarrel over who had last seen him; and they would envelope themselves with an air of pained and morbid gloom--and cling to the gloom tenaciously because they delighted in it! What an event! And out of them all, with the exception of Henry Bliss, there was none who--ah, yes! Ironically, as the grim humour of it struck him, a smile curled Jean's lips. The stewards who had looked after him would care very much! That one might die, if one wished, was all very well; but to be inconsiderate enough to jump overboard without leaving the _douceurs_ of the voyage behind, could be construed as nothing less than a personal affront! He reached suddenly into his pocket, the irony of the thought lost in a flash of inspiration, and pulled out his pocketbook. It was the one crowning touch required to stamp as a fact, beyond a peradventure of doubt, the conviction that he had made away with himself. He could ill spare any of the money; but he could much less afford to ignore anything that would lend colour to his plan and so minimise the risk of discovery!

He opened the pocketbook again, took from it three of the twenty-franc notes, tucked these into his pocket, and laid the pocketbook with the balance of the money inside of it down upon the desk. It was not a fitting amount, doubtless--but there was his pocketbook and all there was in it! What more could any one give? He took up his pen, and finished his note. "Please divide what is in my pocketbook amongst my stewards. Adieu! Jean."

He folded the note, placed it in an envelope, sealed it, addressed it to Henry Bliss, and, carrying it with him, returned to the bedroom and pinned it securely to the sleeve of his ulster. Then, taking up both the ulster and the bundle he had made of the clothes in which he had been dressed that evening, and leaving the lights turned on, he went to the outer cabin door, opened it cautiously, and peered out. Here, on the upper deck, there was no one in sight. He opened the door wide, marked the spot where the light, flooding from the room, lay across the ship's rail; then, stepping out on the deck, he closed the door softly behind him.

For a moment he stood in the darkness, looking about him, listening.

There was nothing--only the ship-sounds--only the confused voices and laughter of the pa.s.sengers on the deck below--only, faint-borne, the music from the ship's saloon. And then, he crept across the deck to the rail; and, drawing himself back to give his arm full play, he hurled the bundle with all his strength far out over the ship's side--and as he hurled it, in requiem as it were for Jean Laparde, through the night there crashed, and boomed, and moaned, and whined anew the sullen blast of the siren.

It startled him momentarily; but the next instant he stooped and laid the ulster upon the deck beside the rail. It was perhaps fastidious in a suicide to remove his ulster, but the light from his room, when the door was opened, that would shine upon the white paper pinned on the sleeve, would disclose a sufficient motive!

It was done! In all the world now for him there was only one to share his life--a life whose future course he could not see, nor guess; but a life where, greatest of all gifts, most splendid of all splendours, was love. There was but one--only one--and that one out of all the world was she alone who cared for Jean Laparde. And she did not know yet that he was there, that he was going to her, that he would never leave her again--but in a moment she would know! In only another moment now I Ah, he could see the pure, beautiful face shine in welcome with the gladdest light it had ever known; the great eyes, deep, true and fearless, grow dim and misty in their wondrous smile; those lips, divine in contour, lift in tenderest pa.s.sion to his; her arms stretch out, no more in cruel longing, in bitter emptiness, but stretch out--stretch out to him!

"Marie-Louise! Marie-Louise!"--like a prayer, softly, he breathed her name; and, thrilled, eager, his blood afire, he turned from the rail, and ran to the deck companionway.

Barring a possible encounter with a ship's officer who might stop and question him, he would have little trouble in reaching the steerage deck. He was not obliged to enter any part of the ship's saloons or alley-ways--he had only to descend to the deck below, and from there it was but a half dozen steps to the head of the ladder with its little sign "pa.s.sengers forbidden" that led directly to the steerage deck.

True, it was possible that some of the steerage pa.s.sengers might notice him descending the ladder, but they would be too far away and it was too dark for them to see his face from any distance; and to them, in any event, unaccustomed to question, it would mean nothing more, if indeed they gave it any thought at all, than some one of the ship's crew in the ordinary performance of his duty.

At the head of the companionway Jean stopped to a.s.sure himself that the saloon pa.s.sengers were still avoiding the wet, unsheltered portion of the deck beneath; and then, descending quickly, he stole across the deck-s.p.a.ce below, gained the second ladder, and, boldly now, but with the swift agility born of the fishing days of Bernay-sur-Mer that any seaman might have envied, swung himself down to the steerage deck. And here, almost leisurely, he turned, and, seeking the darkest shadows, and so disappearing from the sight of any of the steerage pa.s.sengers who, still huddled about the deck, might have noticed him, he stood motionless, close up against the ship's superstructure. It was perhaps an exaggerated precaution; but it would preclude the possibility of any one of them connecting him, when he eventually went amongst them, with the man who had come down the ladder and presumably had disappeared in some, to them mysterious, where all was mysterious, recess of the ship.

His heart was pounding, he could feel the hot blood flush his cheeks, as his eyes strained through the gloom and semi-darkness, searching the deck. Was she still there--somewhere? Surely, surely she had not yet gone below! For then it would be very hard, perhaps impossible, to find her until to-morrow, and he could not wait so long as that; for it was to-night that he was to take Marie-Louise in his arms again, and hold her there, and stand, they two, and look into each other's eyes, glad, beyond any gladness else, in the love that G.o.d had given back to them. To-morrow? No! To-night! To-night! It must be to-night!

Surely she was still here! Yes--who was that, whose form he could just make out in the darkness at the ship's side far along the deck?

He moved quickly now, still keeping in the shadows, until he reached the side of the ship furthest away from the ladder by which he had descended, and then stepped out across the deck. He pa.s.sed little knots of people, and voices in strange tongues that he had never heard before fell upon his ears; but he gave them no heed--there was only that figure, alone, apart, toward which he was hurrying. And now--yes--he was sure! Her back was turned, and, as before, she was leaning ever the ship's side, but--yes--yes--it was Marie-Louise!

He halted a yard away from her, trembling with an emotion that brought a strange weakness to his limbs, and reached out his arms--her name quivering, low and pa.s.sionate, his soul in his voice, upon his lips.

"Marie-Louise!"

She turned sharply, in a frightened, startled way, and for a moment stared at him; and then, even in the darkness, he could see her face grow deathly white, while her hand groped blindly out behind her for support.

"Dead!" she whispered. "I was praying to the _bon Dieu_ for you, Jean.

And now you are dead, and you have come to me."

"Ay!" he cried blunderingly in his joy. "Ay, that is true, Marie-Louise! Jean Laparde is dead!"