The Beautiful Series: A Beautiful Idea Part 11

Maddox started to walk over to me but I put my hand up. "Don't. If I could, I would leave today but I don't have enough money to go anywhere. Until I do move out I'll pay half of the rent and whatever else I need to pay for." Since all I did was save my money since Maddox didn't allow me to pay for rent or anything I was able to buy all those gifts. But now, I was broke because I may have gone a little overboard. I just didn't calculate into it that Maddox and I would be breaking up and I would need to move out. I looked over in the direction of the gifts, waved my hands and said, "You can keep the gifts because I don't want them."

He started to open his mouth again but I beat him to it. "I don't want to hear it Maddox. I thought you were different but last night put everything into perspective for me."

With that I left the apartment and began my search for an apartment and another job. I knew just working at the library wouldn't make me enough money to move out anytime soon so I drove around and put in applications. I was just about to give up my search when I was at a red light and saw a Now Hiring sign in front of a local bookstore. As soon as the light turned green I pulled up in front of the bookstore and parked. I walked into the store and a jingle went off. Somebody from the back came out in front. "Hi. How can I help you?"

The guy seemed really sweet. He had brown wavy hair and was tall and lean. He was wearing skinny blue jeans with a red sweatshirt and black framed gla.s.ses. I smiled and said, "I saw that you were hiring." He started jumping up and down and squealing at the top of his lungs. "Oh thank G.o.d. I thought I was going to die here without any help." He must have seen the scared look on my face because walked out behind the counter and said, "I'm Patrick Christiansen." I put my hand out and said, "I'm Isabelle." He looked down at my hand and tilted his head to the side. Instead of shaking my hand he laughed and pulled me into a huge hug.

I should have been shocked that this complete stranger hugged me but there was something about him that was really comfortable. Instead of pulling away from me completely, he wrapped an arm around me and started to walk me into the back. "Come on, I'll show you around."

Patrick was really nice. He showed me all that I had to do which wasn't all that much. I just had to keep everything organized, help the customers out if they had any questions, and ring them out. He told me the hardest part was to have to keep a smile plastered on your face because some of the customers could be real "b.i.t.c.h s.k.a.n.ks" as he put it.

For the rest of break Maddox and I stayed away from one another. I thought it was going to be pretty difficult but Maddox had decided to go home for break. A couple of times Sarah called me and tried to get me to explain what had actually happened between us. She informed me that Maddox was taking it pretty badly but I didn't care. I told her that what happened was between Maddox and me and if he wanted to explain it to her then he could.

I was done giving a s.h.i.t. While my heart was broken I wasn't going to talk a bunch of s.h.i.t on him. After all he gave me a place to sleep and put food in my stomach when he really didn't have to, so I just let it go. I was just happy that I didn't really have time to think about it. School was going to be starting up again soon and I had two jobs to keep me plenty busy.

Working at my new job was pretty awesome. Patrick was hilarious and in my spare time I got to read a bunch of the books we sold. I also got to read The Sea of Tranquility and told Patrick he had to read it. I lent it to him and he told me that he loved it. He also told me he loved that I worked there with him. While I helped out the customers he was able to get the background work done a lot faster. When I wondered why he was the only person who worked there he told me that his grandparents owned it. He said that they joked around that it didn't take a rocket scientist to work at a bookstore so they let Patrick work there.

He told me that this time of the season was pretty dead so while I sat on my stool in front of the store and read Patrick was working in the back. I was at a good part in my book when the jingle went off and informed me somebody walked in. I bookmarked my page and looked up and noticed that it was the guy from Spencer's who had hit on me. He looked up and smiled when he recognized me. "Hey."

I smiled and waved at him. Without taking his eyes off me he walked right in front of me and smiled. "So how'd the boyfriend like the outfit?" My smile instantly disappeared and I said, "Oh um, we broke up."

Neil's smile also disappeared but then a c.o.c.ky grin took its place. "That's a d.a.m.n shame because I know without a doubt you would have looked real s.e.xy in that outfit." I could feel a blush on my face but I shook my head.

I looked up and saw Neil was still smiling and then he said, "So I was thinking since you guys broke up how about I take you out for some coffee or something?" I was taken off guard but replied, "I'm still getting over the break up but maybe some other time?"

I could tell that my answer wasn't the one he was hoping for but he smiled again. "Well it wasn't a No so maybe I'll see you around Isabelle." With that he turned around and started to walk out of the store. I was just about to ask him to tell me his name again but he turned around and said, "It's Neil James by the way. Just in case you forgot." After the door closed behind him I heard, "d.a.m.n, that's a fine a.s.s." I turned to see Patrick staring in Neil's direction and started laughing. He looked at me and said, "Oh honey, I'm gay. I thought you knew?"

"I had my suspicions but I wanted to wait for you to tell me." He smiled and then completely switched topics. "So you just broke up with your boyfriend?" I told Patrick I didn't really feel like talking about it. Patrick a.s.sured me he was a great listener and that he would be there whenever I wanted to talk about it. He was just about to walk in the back and get back to his work when I spilled everything.

I told him about how Maddox and I were first friends and I moved in with him because of the whole Financial Aid fiasco and how things started changing. I told him about how he'd introduced me to his family and gave me a tattoo. I also told him about the last night we were together and how I was ready to give up my virginity but he rejected me.

I cried and it took a while for me to get everything out but after I finished Patrick pulled me into his arms and whispered, "Oh honey, he's a jacka.s.s. I think he's just as scared as you. But I do have a solution to your problem." He was still playing with my hair when I said, "What?" Patrick put me at arm's length and said, "My roommate just moved to California so I have a room available. Keep in mind that it's not big or anything but it's a roof over your head and it's dirt cheap. Plus my grandparents live next door and they're awesome. My grandma makes the best apple walnut waffles ever and my grandpa is f.u.c.king hysterical. I'm not saying you have to but it's an option if you want."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks Patrick." I pulled away and looked at him. "You're amazing. You know that right?" He just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Sweetie, I'm f.u.c.king awesome!" I had no words so I just laughed and we got back to work.

It was two months into the new semester and Maddox and I were getting along better. He and I both worked a lot and were rarely ever home at the same time so it was really easy to stay away from each other. At first it was hard on everyone but I told them that I didn't want sides to be taken. Maddox and I had made our decision so that was all there was to it. Sarah and Gabe didn't agree with us breaking up but decided to let it go. Jade gave a sneaky smile when we all asked her about the c.o.c.k ring and said, "That's for me to know b.i.t.c.hes and for you to find out!" Jason ended up breaking up with Christie over break and Ashlynn "broke up" with Derrick as well. I told her that it was a good decision and she realized that it was for the best and she was ready to move on with her life. She also told me that Derrick was fine with the "breaking up". He told her that he was tired of pretending and whether people liked it or not he was going to live his life the way he wanted to. No more hiding.

It was a Sat.u.r.day night and we all decided to have a girl's night out which consisted of Sarah, Jade, Ashlynn, Derrick, Patrick and I. In a drunken state Ashlynn told everyone that her and Derrick dating was just to get Jason jealous. We all laughed and Jade said, "I can't believe I'm related to a dumba.s.s!" While we all needed a night out to just relax because of our hectic schedules I had secret motives. I thought Derrick and Patrick would be really cute together. While Derrick was a little quiet Patrick was loud and flamboyant and told you to your face exactly how it was.

After we all ordered our drinks we went onto the dance floor. I had my arms wrapped around Patrick and we were laughing and having a good time. When the song was over we walked back over to the bar and ordered shots of tequila for everyone and while we waited I started up Operation: Get Patrick and Derrick together. I was just about to open my mouth when Patrick turned to me with a huge smile plastered to his face. After taking a sip of my beer I said, "What are you smiling about cutiepie?"

"Besides the fact that Derrick is completely cute and totally f.u.c.kable?" I giggled and said, "I thought you guys would be really cute together. I mean you guys look totally adorable together but you also even each other out really well." He smiled again and hugged me. "I completely love you gorgeous, but that's not why I'm smiling." I pulled out of his embrace and had confused written all over my face.

He moved closer to me and said, "That hottie from the bookstore is here and he hasn't taken his eyes off you since we've walked in." My eyes bugged out of my head and I turned around. Neil was on the other side of the bar drinking a beer and looking directly at me. I spun right around and Patrick started giggling. I was about to ask him what I should do when the bartender placed the tequila shots in front of us and Patrick handed one to me. "You might need this because hottie is walking over here right now!" I took the shot back and welcomed the warm liquid and then sucked on the lime.

As soon as I turned around Neil was right in front of me. He didn't say anything. Just placed a hand in front of me and said, "Dance with me." I put my hand in his and Neil walked me out onto the dance floor. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Sarah, Jade, Ashlynn, and Derrick were watching me but I didn't care.

As soon as we were in the middle of the dance floor I wrapped my arms around his neck and Neil wrapped his arms around my waist. I was grateful that a slow song was playing because I was a little nervous. We danced for a few minutes then Neil said, "So about that date?" I smiled against his chest and lifted my head to look up into his eyes. I huffed and said, "I really appreciate it but I'm just not ready yet. For now I just want to be single and have fun in college." He shrugged his shoulders and said, "It was worth a shot but whoever you end up with is going to be real lucky." I kissed him on the cheek and said, "Thank you." We danced a few more songs and then we went our separate ways.

Neil was really cute but I just wasn't ready to go into another relationship so fast. A part of me was still hoping there was a chance with Maddox. There was just something that stuck out to me. When Maddox and I first broke up I thought he was going to go back to his old ways of just having s.e.x with girls but he did the exact opposite. He started working all of the time and I wondered if maybe he did actually care about me and I had made a horrible mistake. I started second guessing myself and questioning my motives but I realized that if I had make a mistake Maddox would have tried to convince me otherwise. He didn't do that. He just kind of dropped it and let it go and that hurt more than words could ever be used to describe.

Memo to the Male Species:

Girls like men who know what they want and go after it, not boys who twiddle their thumbs and make it a puzzle we girls have to solve. Because guys, we aren't going to solve that riddle. Hate to break it to ya!

I decided right then and there that I needed to move on with my life and not hold out for something that could possibly never happen. I noticed Patrick and Derrick were talking over at the bar and while I didn't want to interrupt, I knew that if I didn't go over there I would psych myself out. I walked over to the bar, wrapped my arms around Patrick from behind, and kissed him on the cheek.

"Is that room still available?" Patrick swung around and picked me up and started cheering. "h.e.l.l YEAH IT IS GORGEOUS! OMG WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN. WE CAN EAT ICE CREAM AND WATCH A BUNCH OF CHICK FLICKS AND - " As much as I wanted to talk about being roommates with Patrick, I wanted Patrick and Derrick to continue talking more so I said, "We can talk about this later cutiepie." With that I kissed him on the cheek and walked over to where Sarah, Jade, and Ashlynn were dancing.

We all started dancing together and I looked over in the direction of Patrick and Derrick and smiled. Because as I came to the realization that Maddox and I would never be, another relationship was beginning to blossom. With some water, sunlight, and a lot of patience it would become a beautiful thing.

Chapter 16.

Maddox and I rarely saw each other but on one of the rare occasions we did actually see one another I told him that I was moving out. He didn't say anything to me, just shrugged his shoulders and went into his room. Part of me felt like complete s.h.i.t because I couldn't believe that this was how it was going to end but I knew he'd deserved for me to tell him in person. He didn't deserve a text that read: Me - I'm moving out.

Patrick and I talked all the time and he couldn't wait for me to move in with him. It had been three weeks since our girls' night out and Patrick and Derrick were still dating. They seemed really happy together and I was extremely happy for the both of them. Derrick had gone through a lot and didn't deserve the hatred of others putting him down and hiding who he truly was and I was so happy that he'd found Patrick. Patrick introduced Derrick to his grandparents and they instantly loved him. Derrick had asked Patrick if it was too early but Patrick said, "Why stop the inevitable?"

I had wanted to move into Patrick's sooner but my course load and working two jobs was taking up all of my time. When I wasn't working, I was either doing homework or going to cla.s.ses. When I finally had a weekend off I decided to buckle down and get a move on. I got all of the boxes, duct tape, and markers that I would need and began to pack up my room.

I was folding clothes and putting them in boxes. Wrapping up picture frames filled with my friends and Maddox. I was playing music but I heard slamming coming from the kitchen and gla.s.s shattering so I got up off the floor and walked over to my door. I didn't think Maddox was going to be here but apparently he was. A part of me didn't want to see what all of the noise was but I turned the k.n.o.b and walked out anyway.

I stopped at the bathroom and heard more things breaking and deep breathing in and out. I took a deep breath and walked out into the living room and turned to look at the kitchen. It took me a second to comprehend what exactly was going on. Maddox was holding a beer in one hand and grabbing anything breakable in the other and throwing it at the wall as hard as he possibly could.

"What the h.e.l.l is the matter with you? Why are you acting like this?" I screamed at him. He dropped the plate he was holding and it crashed to the floor below him and then he turned to look at me. I had never seen this side of Maddox before. His eyes were filled with so much anger and rage that it scared me a little. I started to walk backwards and I could see in his eyes that he realized he was scaring me. He put down his beer and took a deep breath before he opened his mouth. "Why are you doing this?"

Was he serious? He was the one throwing dishes against the wall and shattering them. I was just packing up my room. There was no contest.

"Because I can't deal with THIS anymore. What we have going on between us. h.e.l.l, I don't even know what it is. You introduce me to your family over Thanksgiving break. You surprise me on Christmas Day. You gave me the best Christmas ever and then that same night you took it all away. You rejected me and it crushed my heart. I thought for a second you actually cared about me but Cynthia was right. I am stupid."

He picked the beer back up off the counter and took a healthy gulp. "You belong in a f.u.c.king psych ward if you truly think that!" I laughed at him. "Which part exactly? The part where you rejected me? The part where I think I'm stupid? Please Maddox, tell me exactly which part you're talking about?" He slammed the beer he was holding up against the wall and it splattered everywhere. Foam started running down the wall onto the carpet.

"DAMMIT YOU ARE THE DUMBEST, MOST STUBBORN PERSON I HAVE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!" I couldn't believe how angry he was getting. Veins were bulging out of his neck and for a second I thought he was going to turn into the Incredible Hulk. If anyone was supposed to be mad it should have been me. The one person I thought I trusted was telling me exactly what I already knew. "SEE! EVEN YOU THINK IT!" I screamed back.

In an instant Maddox lunged at me and grabbed me by the arms. He was squeezing so hard that if he didn't let go a little he was going to leave bruises. He could see in my eyes I was in pain and he loosened his hold on me. "f.u.c.k Isabelle. I also think you are the smartest, most beautiful girl I have ever met and if you pulled your head out of your a.s.s and opened your eyes for two f.u.c.king seconds you would see that I love you."

I almost didn't hear him but I had never had anybody say those words to me before. "Y-You what?!" I could feel the tears starting to form in my eyes, but I would not allow Maddox to see me cry about him anymore. I would not allow anymore tears to fall because of him. For him.

He let go of me and started backing up into the breakfast bar. "You heard me. From the moment I saw you it has always been you. It will always be just you."

I couldn't take this bulls.h.i.t anymore. One minute he was pushing me away and just as fast he was pulling me back to him. s.h.i.t. Even right now he was saying these beautiful words and all the while he was walking away from me. But I couldn't let the words I love you leave my head. n.o.body had ever said those words to me before. Until now.

"Maddox Tyler Mitch.e.l.l don't you dare say things like that to me if you don't mean it." He sat down on a stool and slammed his fist on the breakfast bar. For a second I thought the top was going to crack from just how hard he slammed his fist against it. "NOW WHY THE h.e.l.l NOT? IT'S THE G.o.dd.a.m.n MOTHERf.u.c.kING TRUTH!" I thought I had calmed him down, but apparently not.

But I was so extremely tired of this bulls.h.i.t. We had been playing this back and forth game for so long and I didn't think I could take it any longer. Someone can only drag you around for so long and then you get tired. So extremely tired of being dragged around in the horses.h.i.t that you just cut ties with them. This was my final straw and I was holding the scissors prepared to cut my ties with him. So I decided to h.e.l.l with it. I decided to just put all of my feelings out there and see where it took me. Without taking my eyes off him I said with as much conviction as possible, "Because you are the one person in this f.u.c.ked up world I actually believe and because you're starting to steal my heart."

I think he was just as shocked as I was to hear those words fall from my mouth, but just as fast he shook his head back and forth and started chuckling. Then he stopped, looked me straight in the eyes and turned completely serious. "Well good. It's about d.a.m.n time, Isabelle because you stole my heart months ago." I didn't have time to think, let alone react, because he grabbed me and crushed his mouth to mine. He lifted me up onto the breakfast bar without breaking the kiss and I wrapped my arms and legs around him. He was holding me as if I was going to disappear at any moment. As if what was happening between us right now wasn't real. I could relate.

Before I knew it I was collapsing onto his bed. Then I realized it was my bed. I looked up into his eyes with a curious look. It was almost as if he could read my mind because he said, "That's where all the other girls were. I don't want that for you. You deserve so much better than that. Than me."

In a weird way I found that romantic. I didn't want to think about the others. What mattered was that right now it was me and Maddox. No one else mattered in my opinion. I put my hands to the bottom of his shirt and I felt him jerk against me.

He put his hands over mine to stop me. "Are you sure Isabelle? Because I can wait as long as you need." I looked up into his eyes. Eyes that were filled with longing and desire. I felt the b.u.t.terflies fluttering in my stomach and the wetness pulling between my legs. I thought we were over months ago, but I was wrong. We had never really been apart and I thought back to Christmas when I thought I was ready to have s.e.x with Maddox. I knew it would have been amazing but I would have missed out on the words he'd just said and in that moment I knew. "Maybe you can wait but I can't. Please Maddox. Make love to me."

That's all it took because Maddox crushed his mouth to mine and pushed his tongue in. He slowly pushed me back onto the bed and I could feel just how badly he wanted me through his sweat pants. That turned my light switch on and I went crazy. s.e.x crazy. I pushed him off me so he was lying on his back and I put a leg over him so I was straddling him. I went crazy on his mouth and then I started to move down his body.

I stopped at his nipple rings and started to flick one with my tongue while one of my hands went in his sweatpants and took a hold of him. I started to move my hand up and down and started to swirl my tongue around his nipple. "Sweetheart, you really don't have to do th - Ah f.u.c.k!" Just before he was about to finish in my hands he grabbed a hold of me by the hips and pulled me up so we were at eye level. In this deep s.e.xy voice he said, "Isabelle, when I come it's going to be inside you."

f.u.c.k that's hot!

Within a second he jumped off the bed and walked over to his room. I heard some banging around and the next thing I knew he was standing in my doorway leaning against it with his arms crossed over his bare chiseled chest. I thought for a moment he was going to change his mind and let me down. Again. But he smiled at me and said, "You're beautiful Isabelle."

My heart swelled and we stared at one another for a few moments and then Maddox started to walk over to the bed. My bed. I was sitting up on my elbow drinking him in. He stopped right in front of me pushing his sweatpants down his body leaving his boxers on. He was breathtaking. I sat up and let my legs dangle on either side of him. He rested his hands at the middle point of my thighs and waited. It was almost as if he wanted to see what I was going to do.

He was giving me permission to do what I wanted. So I touched him. I touched his abs. His nipple rings. His arms which were covered with tattoos. His face. I touched his lips. His dimples. His nose. His ears. I was going to memorize his entire body so I would never forget tonight and how he felt up against me. In me.

I could feel Maddox's eyes on me the whole time I touched him and could feel his breath against my face. I didn't look in his eyes the entire time and then I cradled his face in mine and looked up at him. I was still in shock. Not because I was about to have s.e.x, but because it was going to be with Maddox.

I smiled up at him and pulled his head down to mine so he would kiss me. The kiss was like none we had ever had before. Most of our kisses were wild and crazy. But not this one. This one meant something so much more.

We could have kissed for five minutes or five hours and I would have never known the difference. Maddox started to kiss down my neck and his hands made their way to the bottom of my t-shirt. He pulled back to look into my eyes asking for my permission. I couldn't form words so I just nodded my head yes. He pulled the shirt up and over my head and then moved his hands to my back to unclasp my bra. His fingers never left my body when he took the bra off and let it fall to the floor.

"Lie down on the bed Isabelle." I looked up into his eyes and they were filled with such hunger that I gulped and did as he said. My head hit the pillow and I turned to look up at him. He was looking down at me and smiling. He walked to the edge of the bed and his fingers started at my toes and he lightly grazed his way up to my stomach without taking his eyes off mine. It was almost as if he were drinking me in, memorizing me too. Memorizing my touch, my taste.

For a while he just stood there and a million thoughts were running through my mind. I felt like my heart was beating out of its chest and my lungs couldn't get enough oxygen. It felt like all of the air had escaped my bedroom and that I was living on borrowed time. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. I thought I was going to pa.s.s out or fall over dead. Then I looked up into Maddox's eyes and I felt like everything was going to be okay. That this huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. That for the first time in my life I could finally breathe and with his help I could get through anything. I just had one question for him to answer.

One question that I had literally been running away from. But at this moment, here in this room, I felt brave enough to finally ask the question I had been dying to know the answer to for months now.

I felt like it was a now or never moment, a pa.s.s or fail. I felt like in life we are given a test and this one was mine. That if I didn't ask the question I would suffocate and regret it for the rest of my life.

But now lying here I realized that to me it didn't matter what the answer was. What mattered to me was that I had been brave enough to finally ask it. That I had put my heart out on the line and that maybe, just maybe Maddox could show me that not everybody is like Cynthia. Just one question.

"What do you want from me Maddox?" Without taking his eyes off me he put his hand to my cheek and said, "Everything Isabelle. Everything." And then he was on the bed lying between my legs looking into my eyes and what I saw wasn't l.u.s.t, but love. Of course a tear escaped my eyes and he began to wipe it away.

He sat back on his knees and it looked like he had been run over by a truck. His chest was heaving up and down and he was breathing so fast. He lowered his head and I sat up and put my hand under his chin so he would look at me. I saw that his eyes were beginning to well up with tears. I put my hand to his cheek and asked him what was wrong. "Isabelle, we don't have to do this. I don't want you to regret it. Regret me." His voice was filled with so much sorrow. How could he possibly think that I didn't want him? At that moment I finally realized. I was deeply and irrevocably in love with Maddox Tyler Mitch.e.l.l. There was no one else for me because I was taken. Maddox was it and he always would be.

I put my hand to his heart and could feel it beating rapidly. "I love you Maddox." His heartbeat slowed down and was back to beating at a regular tempo and his breathing was back to normal as well. He bent his head and smiled at me. "You have no idea how long I have waited to hear those words come from your beautiful lips." And then he gave me the lightest kiss known to mankind. It was so sweet and yet so pa.s.sionate all at the same time.

He pushed me back so I was lying on the bed and then his hands were at the top of my shorts. He began to slide them down and I lifted my hips so they would come off more easily. I didn't realize that he had taken my panties off as well until they were at my knees. Maddox dropped both of them off the end of the bed and then he was up off the bed. He put his hands at the top of his boxers and slid them down never taking his eyes off of mine. He then turned and walked over to my dresser and grabbed the condom that he had put there earlier. He walked back over and climbed back on the bed kneeling between my legs. He put the wrapper to his teeth and ripped it open taking the condom out and sliding it over him.

I couldn't wait for the next time to put the condom on him.

He lay down on top of me and I could feel his head at my entrance. He put a hand on each side of my face and said, "I'm going to try and go really slowly Isabelle." I opened my legs up wider and wrapped them around him. He started to slide into me and I closed my eyes. The instant I closed my eyes he stopped and I opened my eyes. "What's wrong Maddox?" He kissed my lips and said, "I want you to look at me." I nodded and he began to push into me further. I kept my eyes open but I winced when he got to a certain point. He immediately stopped. "Are you ok?" I closed my eyes and started to take slow even breaths. After a few seconds, I opened my eyes and nodded Yes and then he took a deep breath and pushed all the way in.

After twenty years I had finally given my gift away, to Maddox and he had accepted it. I knew that with Maddox he would cherish it.

He let out a breath I didn't realize he was holding and then he started to suck and kiss my neck. He was letting me get used to his length and boy, did I need to get used to it. I felt full. More than full. Maddox made me feel full. But before long I was ready to move so I lifted my hips and heard Maddox hiss through his teeth. I thought maybe I hurt him but he said, "Isabelle I'm about to come. You've got to warn me when you start to do that. Ok sweetheart?"

At first I thought it was a joke but I could see the seriousness in his face and hear it in his voice. I couldn't help giggling and then I nodded my head. I couldn't believe that I held so much power over this man and it really turned me on.

He quirked his eyebrows at me. "Oh you think that's funny sweetheart?" He started to tickle me and it made me move against him harder which made him stop the tickle attack altogether. I put my hands to his face and whispered, "Please Maddox."

He started off slow and then he started to speed up and I met him thrust for thrust. There was sweat forming at the top of his forehead and I could feel sweat droplets on his lower back where my hands were. I started to close my eyes because I knew I was close and it was becoming too much to handle. Maddox started to slow down and I quickly opened my eyes. "Keep your eyes open sweetheart." He started to speed up again and before I knew it we were both coming together. I was pulsating around him and I knew from the look on his face and the way he said Isabelle that he was filling up his condom.

As good as it felt with him inside of me I started to wonder what it would feel like without the condom. Skin on skin. His skin in my skin. I wanted to know exactly what it would feel like when he came in me.

We didn't last long because of the antic.i.p.ation of us being together. Just before we both finished I whispered in his ear I love you.

Chapter 17.

I woke up the next morning and started to move around and s.h.i.t was I sore. I didn't even know half of those muscles existed until last night. Then I remembered last night and how amazingly wonderful it was. I brushed my fingers against my lips and started to smile.

I started remembering the words.

Every touch.

Every taste.

Every noise.

I rolled over to the side and saw Maddox's head was propped up in his hand and he was watching me. He had this dazed look on his face and I wondered if the same memories were running through his mind. I wrapped my hands around him and kissed him. When I leaned back to look in his face his eyebrows were scrunched together and he was biting his lower lip.

I didn't understand what was going on. I thought he would pounce all over me but it was the exact opposite. He was treating me like a piece of gla.s.s and he was afraid he was going to break me. I cupped his cheek and began to move my thumb over his bottom lip. "Maddox?"

He wrapped a hand around my wrist and kissed the inside of my hand. I saw him close his eyes and then he took a deep breath. Without looking at me he said, "Do you regret what happened last night?"