The Bath Keepers Volume I Part 22

"Fifteen eggs! an omelet of fifteen eggs for you two! Do you expect more friends?"

"That doesn't concern you! do what you are told, and don't keep your great, stupid eyes fastened on my companion; that isn't polite, and I don't ever allow anyone to insult the persons who are in my company! Do you hear, clown?"

As he spoke, the chevalier seized the waiter by one ear and twisted it so hard in his fingers that the unlucky Poussinet was beginning to shriek with pain, when a gray-bearded man in jacket and ap.r.o.n came up and said to the chevalier, in a decidedly unamiable tone:

"What are you pulling my waiter's ears for? What has he done to you, Monsieur Pa.s.sedix? Must you always make trouble here as soon as you arrive? I am tired of it, I warn you! Although you fight with everybody, I warn you that you don't frighten me; and when the day comes that I make up my mind to turn you out of my place, you will never come into it again; and your sword will stay here in p.a.w.n for all that you owe me!"

"Let's go away," said Cedrille, trying to rise; "I am not having any fun here!"

But Pa.s.sedix forced Cedrille to remain on his stool; and having reflected that if he should beat the keeper of the wine shop he would have no supper, he restrained his wrath and tried to smile as he replied:

"La, la! old sea-wolf [_loup de mer_]--for you well deserve the name written on your sign!--here's a lot of pother because I hardly pinched the tip of an ear. I do not seek a quarrel with anyone who is courteous to me. If you have in your place louts who tread on my toes, I am never in a mood to put up with it. If I owe you money, that proves that you have given me credit."

"And I am very sorry that I ever gave you credit; but after this, nothing will be served you here unless you pay cash. As to that matter, I have given Poussinet my orders, and it will do you no good to pull his ears! Nothing without the money--those are his orders."

"Yes," muttered the waiter, "and he beats me; that's all the _pourboire_ I get from him!"

Pa.s.sedix rose and made a motion with his arm as if to strike Poussinet; but the wine shop keeper caught his arm in mid-air and shouted, with a horrible oath:

"So we are going to begin again, eh?"

"I want to go away; I don't enjoy myself here!" said Cedrille, half rising; but the chevalier threw him back on his seat, and continued in a haughty and dignified tone:

"Cabaretier, you may serve us in all confidence this evening; it is not I who treat, but my friend, this excellent Bearnais here; and his pockets are well filled."

"That makes a difference!" murmured the host; and he walked away with his waiter, saying to him: "No matter, you will make them pay when you serve; if they don't, take the dishes away."

"Yes, and look out for my ears!--Ah! what a lousy customer that lanky, hamstringing villain of a Gascon is!"

XIV

A GAME WITH DICE

Cedrille sat as if glued to his seat, from which he dared not stir since his friend had forced him back into it so unceremoniously; but he cut a singular figure as he rolled his eyes around the room, staring at all the people about him; and he had not the slightest appearance of a person who had come there for amus.e.m.e.nt.

As for the Chevalier Pa.s.sedix, his eyes seemed to be trying to discover the contents of the Bearnais's pockets; and, as he caressed his chin, he reflected thus:

"I said that his pockets were well filled, but I know nothing about it; he didn't whisper a word when I said it Sandis! if it should turn out that he hasn't a sou about him--that old pirate of a cabaretier would take back his omelet. But I feel that Dame Cadichard's two little eggs are at the bottom of Roland's sheath. I dare not question this stout little Bearnais. But, come what may, I don't propose to go away from here without filling my belly. The proverb well says: 'Without Bacchus and Ceres, Venus congeals!'--Now, then, as I do not choose that my love shall congeal, I absolutely must do a little work with my jaws!"

Thereupon, turning to the other persons seated at the table at which he had taken his place, tall Pa.s.sedix observed that they were bourgeois, very well dressed and having all the appearance of shopkeepers from the vicinity come thither for recreation. In front of them were goblets and a generous measure of wine; also dice and diceboxes.

"These fellows are probably playing for their reckoning!" thought the Gascon. "An idea! suppose I should suggest a game to the little fellow, especially as he seems inclined to go to sleep.--Hola! I say, worthy Cedrille!"

"What is it?" cried the peasant, staring in order to see better.

"Suppose we have a game of dice, like our neighbors.--You gentlemen are playing _quinze_, I think?"

One of the players looked up at the lean chevalier, and contented himself with an a.s.senting nod.

"Good! what do you say to a game of _quinze_, friend Cedrille? I'll play you for a rose crown. There's a pleasant suggestion for you?"

"No, thanks! I have never played; I don't know any game. At our house, my mother used to say very often: 'Don't let anybody induce you to gamble, my son, it's too dangerous a sport; it becomes a vice and it may lead to crime!'"

"Ta ta ta! that speech smells strongly of the barn! If gambling is dangerous in your province, it isn't so in Paris; and the proof is that everybody gambles, from the lowest to the highest. The greatest n.o.bles set us the example; they wouldn't be gentlemen if they didn't gamble."

"Oh! I don't claim to be a gentleman, myself!"

"Sandis! that's lucky!" said Pa.s.sedix to himself. "What a blockhead this young Bearnais is; he doesn't gamble and he won't eat; he doesn't know how to carry his wine! If only he has money!--but I must make sure of that before they bring us that famous omelet."--And, addressing his young companion once more, Pa.s.sedix said: "Can it be that we are miserly, by any chance, my young shepherd? Fie! fie! that would be a wretched failing, and one that is much ridiculed in Paris, where every man of heart, if he wants to enjoy himself, should pay, without reckoning, every bill presented to him."

"I, miserly!" rejoined Cedrille, with a smile; "oh! I am not afraid of anyone charging me with that; I have never had anything of my own!

Whenever my fob is full, what there is in it is at my friends' service!"

"Bravo! very good! shake! I am just like that, myself!--Well, then, my good Cedrille, as you don't know the game of dice, and as I am absolutely determined to lose a rose crown to you, we will play for it at _wet finger_. I trust that you know that game, at least!"

"At wet finger!" muttered Cedrille, putting his hands to his pockets.

"Oh! I know that game, yes. But, by the way, I just remember that I can't play to-night, unless I play on credit----"

"On credit! What does that mean?"

"It means that the servants at the Hotel de Mongarcin--all those splendid fellows in handsome livery, who treated me so handsomely at the offices----"

"Well! what then? Let us have it, mordioux!"

"Well! when I left them, saying that I was going to walk round the city a bit, they said: 'Have you got any money about you?'--I said _yes_, and took a good fat purse out of my pocket.--Oh! I didn't start out on my travels without the means of travelling.--'Well,' they said, 'leave your purse here; don't take it with you, or it will be stolen; and it won't do you any good to be on your guard, for you won't see anything; Paris is full of vagabonds, cloak s.n.a.t.c.hers, cutpurses, who strip you without your knowing how it's done. You don't need your purse to walk about the city; so, leave it here, where it will be safe, the maitre d'hotel will be responsible for it; and then you can stroll all over Paris and snap your fingers at the robbers.'--Faith! I followed their advice and left my purse in their hands; and I haven't a sou about me!"

It would be difficult to describe the expression of his valiant companion's face while Cedrille was speaking. Chevalier Pa.s.sedix, ordinarily yellow, became green one moment, then violet, then ash-colored; his features seemed to lengthen, his cheeks to sink in more than usual; his eyes flashed fire, and he muttered, clenching his fists:

"This pa.s.ses all bounds! He hasn't a sou, and he wants to enjoy himself in Paris! What an ignorant fool!--Ah! if you were not your cousin's cousin! what pleasure it would give me to thrash you, knave! to teach you to hang on my arm when your pockets are empty!--But the omelet will soon be here, and they will take it away again! That will be an outrage!

Vertuchoux! at embarra.s.sing moments one must be bold; fortune favors the brave!--another proverb. Let us stake all to win all!"

And Pa.s.sedix, turning to his neighbors the dice throwers, suddenly exclaimed:

"Twelve! that's a good throw, but, d.a.m.n the odds! I will stake six livres _tournois_ against monsieur!"

The bourgeois who had just thrown the dice stared at the chevalier and rejoined:

"You don't know the game; we have three dice, and the one who throws nearest to fifteen wins; I have thrown twelve; I have a great many chances in my favor, for anything above fifteen loses."

"I know the game as well as the man who invented it; that doesn't prevent my saying that I will stake six livres _tournois_ against you."

"Very good! I take your bet."

"All right! agreed!--Now, it's your turn, monsieur, on whom I am betting."