The Bath Keepers Volume Ii Part 53

"That is true; if monseigneur wishes, I will go to see if Bahuchet is coming."

"No, no! Cadedis! I have no desire to be forced to ring another hour, to recall you.--Sandioux! this water is getting cold; my page is making a fool of his master!"

"Perhaps the spots are difficult to remove."

"I am afraid--I am shivering--I shall take cold.--Go, tell the bath attendant to bring me some hot water."

In those days, persons who indulged in baths had not at their hand faucets with which to heat or cool the water at pleasure; bath keepers have progressed, like other people; but at that time the attendant brought water in a pail to put in the bath tub.

Plumard went out to perform his master's commission.

"The fire's out," said the attendant, "there's no more hot water; your tall, withered master has been in the bath more than an hour, and the best thing he can do is to go away; it will take too long to start up the fire again."

"Well-managed baths these, on my word! It's evident enough that Master Hugonnet is drinking and that his daughter is away from home!"

And Plumard returned to the chevalier, who was beginning to shiver.

"I regret to announce, monseigneur, that there is no more hot water in the establishment."

"No more hot water? Cadedis! what does this mean? are they laughing at me?"

"No, my honored master; but the attendant has allowed the fire to go out that heats the water for the baths. Master Hugonnet has been drinking so much with some friends that it is impossible to obtain anything from him!"

"O fair Ambroisine! it is evident that you pa.s.s all your time with a countess! These baths are being managed wretchedly; it will be very hot when I bathe here again!--And that rascally page does not return!--I cannot pa.s.s the whole day in the water, however; it weakens me terribly!"

"If monsieur le chevalier wishes--there must be some second-hand shop hereabout; I could go there and buy a doublet and a pair of breeches!"

"I' faith! you are right; that is what we should have done long ago.--Here, take my purse, which, luckily enough, I did not leave in my short-clothes, and hasten to buy me something to wear--the first things that you see, provided they are decent."

"Yes, monseigneur."

"And of some light color--they are most becoming to me. Do not consider the price, but make haste, sandioux! for I am all gooseflesh. Have you my purse?"

"Yes, monseigneur; I fly to the second-hand shop."

Plumard left the cabinet, and called to the attendant as he pa.s.sed through the shop:

"We will do without your hot water; my master is going to leave the bath."

"In that case," said the attendant to himself, as he looked after the esquire, "it seems that the tall, thin man won't want it any more; if he's going to get out of his bath, I can begin to draw the water out of his tub."

He went to a room situated directly beneath the men's bathrooms, pressed a spring corresponding to the tub that he proposed to empty, and opened a c.o.c.k through which the water ran out of doors.

As for Master Hugonnet, urged by his friends, and no longer in full possession of his reason, he had left his house, to make himself completely drunk at his favorite wine shop.

Pa.s.sedix sat in his tub, as motionless as a statue, because he knew that the more one moves about, the more quickly the water grows cool. That in his tub had fallen nearly to zero. The poor chevalier turned purple and counted the minutes, saying to himself:

"Capedebious! I trust that my esquire will move more rapidly than my page; I should have left him unrestricted in the matter of colors; he will try to find a pretty shade, and that will delay him.--Well, what does this mean? I have no water on my shoulders! But I had some a moment ago. One would say that my bath was running away! Why, yes--it is not a dream--my water is falling--my breast is dry!--Ah! ten thousand muskets!

this is the climax of our adventures!--Who is the gallows-bird, the villain, the blockhead, that amuses himself emptying my bath tub? It must be that dolt of an attendant! By Roland! the rascal shall pay me for this! In a moment I shall be left high and dry, and all naked! This is horrible! May the devil fly away with my esquire and my page!--Let us ring! let us ring!--Ah! I shall not forget this bath!"

Pa.s.sedix seized the bellrope and pulled it so hard that it broke in his hand; but luckily the attendant heard the bell, and, as he knew that the esquire had gone, he concluded to go up, saying to himself:

"It must be me that this gentleman wants now, as he has sent his servants away; he wants to pay for his bath, I suppose, and give me a _pourboire_."

But he was stupefied, on opening the door of the cabinet, to see the chevalier still naked in the bath tub, where there was no longer a drop of water, glaring savagely at him and threatening him with his fist.

"What! are you taking a dry bath, monsieur?" said the surprised attendant.

"A dry bath, knave! a dry bath, blockhead! Why am I left high and dry in my bath tub? Because you have drawn the water off, I presume!"

"Well! monsieur's esquire called to me when he went out: 'My master's going to leave the bath!' so then I said to myself: 'I can empty the tub.'"

"Ah! you clown, if I die of inflammation of the lungs, you shall pay me for this! I am frozen!"

"But, monsieur, after all, why do you insist on staying in the tub instead of dressing yourself?"

"Dressing myself! They are all in a plot to drive me frantic! Here is my esquire doing just as my page did! He doesn't come back! How well I am served! It was worth while setting up a staff of servants!--Well, I must make up my mind to something. Give me my linen, rascal! and while I am putting it on, that infernal bald-head will return, I trust--or perhaps my page, Bahuchet!"

But Plumard, on leaving Master Hugonnet's house, weighed in his hand the purse that his new master had bade him take. It was a large purse and well filled; the ex-clerk could not resist the desire to know how much it contained; so he stopped, sat on a stone, and counted out in the hollow of his hand twenty-two gold pieces. That amounted to a considerable sum; the ex-Basochian had never possessed so much. The sight of the gold dazzled him; and the numerous b.u.mpers he had drunk at Master Hugonnet's having made him slightly giddy, he pa.s.sed his hand across his brow and muttered:

"By Saint Grimoire! I shall never earn as much as this in a year, playing the esquire to that long, loose-jointed chevalier. Suppose I should begin by enjoying myself with this money? The opportunity is all the better because I shall not have to share with Bahuchet. I am in luck, on my word! I'll go to the tavern which the pretty girls of the quarter frequent; it's at the Pre-aux-Clercs. I have enough to treat them like a great n.o.bleman!--Oh! I'll wager that they will not refuse to dance a courante or a Perigourd step with me to-night."

And Monsieur Plumard placed the purse in his belt and betook himself to the Pre-aux-Clercs, without another thought for him he had left in the bath.

Bahuchet, having no purse intrusted to him, had been unable to follow the same course of action as his friend Plumard; but other reasons kept him from returning to the chevalier.

Having taken his new master's garments to the cleanser's, where he was told that it would take a long quarter of an hour to remove the spots on the doublet and breeches, the little man left the shop and strolled aimlessly along the street, stopping to look at everything that could possibly amuse him for a moment.

Suddenly, as he was watching two dogs fight, Bahuchet felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned and recognized Miretta, the young Marquise de Santoval's pretty lady's-maid.

"I have found you at last, Monsieur Bahuchet," she said; "I have been looking for you all over Paris for a long time."

"You have been looking for me, captivating brunette?"

"Yes; I went to your solicitor's to find you."

"To Maitre Bourdinard's?--He dismissed me because I made blots on the paper with my pen, and that wasted the ink. I say! what a skinflint!--So you have been looking for me! I beg you to believe that, if I had known it---- Do you require the services of your humble servant?"

"No, not I, but my mistress, madame la marquise.--Come, come quickly, away from all these people."

"Oh! pardon me, pretty maid, but if I must go to the Hotel de Santoval again--many thanks! I am not your man! I remember the way I was treated at the time of the last visit I paid you; I remember very well too that, after beating me outrageously with stirrup leathers, the lackeys said: 'This is how you will be received every time that you come to this house!'--After that, you may well be sure that I would not risk the end of my nose there for anything in the world!--Look you--I am entirely devoted to your lovely mistress, but more than all else I love my own shoulders, I have the warmest regard for my ribs, and I have no desire to be cudgelled again!"

"You will not be asked to go to the Hotel de Santoval again, although everything is changed there now."

"Where are you taking me, then?"

"Wherever you choose; select for yourself the place where you will await my mistress; she will meet you there, for she is most desirous to speak with you in secret, and to intrust to you a letter for the Comte de Marvejols. If you undertake to deliver the letter, she will give you money, as much as you ask."