The Bath Keepers Volume Ii Part 51

"How this color becomes you! See! there is another fine lady stopping to look at you!"

"Sandis! I am accustomed to it.--Come, my friends, and put on your caps; I give you leave! Parbleu! I propose to regale you in the good old way!"

The two ex-clerks walked beside the Gascon chevalier, like two soldiers escorting a marshal of France. They arrived at the wine shop at the end of Rue Saint-Jacques. Pa.s.sedix was known there, and, as he was now a good customer, the waiters served him with the greatest zeal. The chevalier selected a table, ordered three covers to be laid, and seated himself between his two guests, saying:

"What vexes me is that I cannot eat with you. I have already breakfasted twice, and I do not feel capable of dining at this moment. Formerly it would have been easy for me. On my honor, it is pitiful! When one becomes rich, one's capacities should be enlarged accordingly. But it is just the opposite! When I had not a sou, I ate four times as much; to be sure, I didn't eat every day. However, one can always drink, and that is something."

Bahuchet and Plumard conducted themselves in such wise as to augment the chevalier's regret for his lost appet.i.te. The dishes simply appeared and disappeared before the ex-clerks; their plates were no sooner filled than they were as clean as if they had been washed; and this lasted for a considerable time. The two friends hardly took time to drink.

"Bravo! sandioux! this is magnificent! it is superb!" cried Pa.s.sedix; "this is what I call eating--this is the way I used to work! It spurs one on! it sets one on edge! I am sure that in your company I should soon recover my former appet.i.te!"

"Nothing prevents it, monsieur le chevalier; we are entirely at your service; and there is a very simple way to make sure that we shall always be at hand."

"What way is that, little one?"

"Attach us to your ill.u.s.trious person! I believe that you have no esquire; you need one--a chevalier of your rank cannot do without an esquire; give me that post, and I will show myself worthy of the honor, on the faith of Plumard!"

"Eh! why, in truth, that is not a bad idea! An esquire--yes, that looks well; I will make him wear my livery."

"And I, seigneur," said Bahuchet, in his turn, "I offer myself as your page; for an esquire is not enough--you need a page to carry your billets-doux, your love messages--for you must send many of them!"

"Oh! to be sure, I send and receive a great many--that is to say, not so many as you might think, perhaps, because---- Look you, I am going to open my heart to you, to make you my confidants."

"That is too much honor for us, seigneur!"

"Understand that I nourish in the depths of my heart a pa.s.sion which I have tried a hundred times to banish; but it is impossible; the witch constantly returns to torment me night and day!"

"Is monsieur le chevalier in love?"

"Pardieu! I should say as much! So much in love that I have lost my sleep, my wits, and even my appet.i.te! for it probably is this infernal love that weighs on my stomach and impairs my digestion."

"Can it be that monsieur le chevalier's heart is fixed on a cruel fair!

That is not possible."

"You are right, Plumard; it is not possible! There can be no cruel fair for monsieur le chevalier!"

"Mon Dieu! my boys,--what nice little fellows they are!--it is an extraordinary case, most a.s.suredly! But if you knew the history of my love!--My heart is set upon a lovely female demon, whom I cannot see when I wish--who eludes me, flies from me! who vanishes when I think that I have her!"

"Monsieur le chevalier, whoever the object of your love may be, if you take me for your page, I will undertake, ere long, to make you the happy vanquisher of your inamorata!"

"And I take the same oath if I become esquire to Monsieur le Chevalier--apple-green--I mean de Pa.s.sedix; he will see how we will forward his love affairs!"

"Very good! shake hands! it is a bargain; I attach you both to my person; you are my page, and you my esquire."

"Vive monsieur le chevalier!"

"I say nothing of wages--but whatever you receive will be yours."

"That is enough for us."

"Are you still hungry?"

"Always!"

"They are admirable!--Waiter, a succulent dish to close the repast; a frica.s.see of hare! that is your forte. And let us drink--let us even touch gla.s.ses--I will condescend so far.--Moreover, I know that you are young men of good breeding, ex-Basochians; for that reason, when I am alone, I will always admit you to my table."

"And we will give you an appet.i.te, seigneur!"

"I rely upon it!"

The goblets were filled; they touched and drank. At that moment the waiter arrived with the last dish ordered; he came toward them and was on the point of placing it on the table, when Plumard, in a renewed outburst of enthusiasm, raised his arm and his gla.s.s so suddenly that he overturned upon Pa.s.sedix the dish that the waiter had in his hands.

In an instant the chevalier was covered from top to toe with the frica.s.see of hare; his doublet and his short-clothes were drenched with it. Pa.s.sedix swore like one possessed, and would have thrashed the waiter, who declared that it was not his fault. Plumard shouted even louder, so that no one should guess that it was his. Bahuchet, who alone had remained calm, observed, when the others had ceased their outcries:

"It was an accident! But since the harm has been done, monsieur le chevalier, it seems to me that, instead of losing your temper, which will do no good at all, it would be much better to think of repairing the disaster."

"Repair the disaster! Sandis! my doublet and my breeches are covered with grease. Such an elegant costume!--spoiled--ruined!--Can I show myself in this condition?--Luckily, I had taken off my cloak; otherwise it would undoubtedly have received its share of the frica.s.see!"

"I say again, seigneur, that the damage is not so great as you think; I know a dyer and cleanser on Rue Saint-Denis, who is renowned for his skill in removing spots from every kind of fabric; he will cleanse your clothes perfectly, and it will not cost you overmuch."

"Eh! cadedis! what care I for the cost? As if I ever looked at money!

That is not what disturbs me! But in order to have my doublet and breeches cleansed, I must certainly take them off; so I shall be left almost naked--in shirt and cloak--and I cannot go home in that airy costume."

"Another suggestion, seigneur," said Plumard; "suppose we should go to some bathing establishment? You have eaten nothing, so you may safely take a bath; and while you are taking it, Bahuchet will run to the cleanser's with your clothes."

"Ah! that is not badly thought of! I approve my esquire's suggestion; I was just thinking that I should like to bathe."

"Master Hugonnet's baths are on this street, not far away; let us go there, seigneur."

"In that case, I must go out with this sauce all over me! That annoys me!"

"We will walk close beside you, seigneur, one on the right, the other on the left; and with your cloak, in addition, no one will see anything!"

"Very well, so be it!--Let us start at once for the baths; I am in haste to be cleansed!"

Pa.s.sedix paid the bill and left the wine shop, flanked by his page and his esquire.

LI

A BATH

The chevalier and his bodyguard arrived at Master Hugonnet's.

"A bath for me instantly," said Pa.s.sedix; "and while I am in the water, my page here will take my garments to the cleanser's."