The Ballad of St. Barbara Part 6

SONGS OF EDUCATION:

III. FOR THE CReCHE

_Form 8277059, Sub-Section K_

I remember my mother, the day that we met, A thing I shall never entirely forget; And I toy with the fancy that, young as I am, I should know her again if we met in a tram.

But mother is happy in turning a crank That increases the balance at somebody's bank; And I feel satisfaction that mother is free From the sinister task of attending to me.

They have brightened our room, that is s.p.a.cious and cool, With diagrams used in the Idiot School, And Books for the Blind that will teach us to see; But mother is happy, for mother is free.

For mother is dancing up forty-eight floors, For love of the Leeds International Stores, And the flame of that faith might perhaps have grown cold, With the care of a baby of seven weeks old.

For mother is happy in greasing a wheel For somebody else, who is cornering Steel; And though our one meeting was not very long, She took the occasion to sing me this song: "O, hush thee, my baby, the time soon will come When thy sleep will be broken with hooting and hum; There are handles want turning and turning all day, And k.n.o.bs to be pressed in the usual way;

O, hush thee, my baby, take rest while I croon, For Progress comes early, and Freedom too soon."

SONGS OF EDUCATION:

IV. CITIZENSHIP

_Form 8889512, Sub-Section Q_

How slowly learns the child at school The names of all the n.o.bs that rule From Ponsonby to Pennant; Ere his bewildered mind find rest, Knowing his host can be a Guest, His landlord is a Tennant.

He knew not, at the age of three, What Lord St. Leger next will be Or what he was before; A Primrose in the social swim A Mr. Primrose is to him, And he is nothing more.

But soon, about the age of ten, He finds he is a Citizen, And knows his way about; Can pause within, or just beyond, The line 'twixt Mond and Demi-Mond, 'Twixt Getting On-or Out.

The Citizen will take his share (In every sense) as bull and bear; Nor need this oral ditty Invoke the philologic pen To show you that a Citizen Means Something in the City.

Thus gains he, with the virile gown, The fasces and the civic crown, The forum of the free; Not more to Rome's high law allied Is Devonport in all his pride Or Lipton's self than he.

For he will learn, if he will try, The deep interior truths whereby We rule the Commonwealth; What is the Food-Controller's fee And whether the Health Ministry Are in it for their health.

SONGS OF EDUCATION:

V. THE HIGHER MATHEMATICS

_Form 339125, Sub-Section M_

Twice one is two, Twice two is four, But twice two is ninety-six if you know the way to score.

Half of two is one, Half of four is two, But half of four is forty per cent. if your name is Montagu: For everything else is on the square If done by the best quadratics; And nothing is low in High Finance Or the Higher Mathematics.

A straight line is straight And a square mile is flat: But you learn in trigonometrics a trick worth two of that.

Two straight lines Can't enclose a s.p.a.ce, But they can enclose a Corner to support the Chosen Race: For you never know what Dynamics do With the lower truths of Statics; And half of two is a touring car In the Higher Mathematics.

There is a place apart Beyond the solar ray, Where parallel straight lines can meet in an unofficial way.

There is a room that holds The examiner or his clerks, Where you can square the circle or the man that gives the marks.

Where you hide in the cellar and then look down On the poets that live in the attics; For the whole of the house is upside down In the Higher Mathematics.

SONGS OF EDUCATION:

VI. HYGIENE

_Form 394411102, Sub-Section X_

_"All practical Eugenists are agreed on the importance of sleep."-The Eugenic Congress._

When Science taught mankind to breathe A little while ago, Only a wise and thoughtful few Were really in the know: Nor could the Youth his features wreathe, Puffing from all the lungs beneath: When Duty whispered softly "Breathe!"

The Youth would answer "Blow!"

When Science proved with lucid care The need of Exercise, Our thoughtless Youth was climbing trees Or lightly blacking eyes: To reckless idlers breaking bounds For football or for hare-and-hounds, Or fighting hard for fourteen rounds, It came as a surprise.

But when she boldly counsels Sleep To persons when in bed, Then, then indeed men blush to see The daybreak blushing red: The early risers whom we term Healthy, grow sickly and infirm; The Early Bird who caught the Worm Will catch the Germ instead.

For this at least be Science praised If all the rest be rot, That now she snubs the priggish child That quits too soon his cot: The pharisaic pachyderm Of spiritual pride shall squirm: The Early Bird catches the worm, The Worm that dieth not.

THE ARDEN PRESS STAMFORD STREET LONDON, S.E.1