The Anatomy of Melancholy Part 80

Argus with a hundred eyes cannot keep her, _et hunc unus saepe fefellit amor_, as in [6191]Ariosto,

"If all our hearts were eyes, yet sure they said We husbands of our wives should be betrayed."

Hierome holds, _Uxor impudica servari non potest, pudica non debet, infida custos cast.i.tatis est necessitas_, to what end is all your custody? A dishonest woman cannot be kept, an honest woman ought not to be kept, necessity is a keeper not to be trusted. _Difficile custoditur, quod plures amant_; that which many covet, can hardly be preserved, as [6192]

Salisburiensis thinks. I am of Aeneas Sylvius' mind, [6193]"Those jealous Italians do very ill to lock up their wives; for women are of such a disposition, they will most covet that which is denied most, and offend least when they have free liberty to trespa.s.s." It is in vain to lock her up if she be dishonest; _et tyrranic.u.m imperium_, as our great Mr.

Aristotle calls it, too tyrannical a task, most unfit: for when she perceives her husband observes her and suspects, _liberius peccat_, saith [6194]Nevisa.n.u.s. [6195]_Toxica Zelotypo dedit uxor moecha marito_, she is exasperated, seeks by all means to vindicate herself, and will therefore offend, because she is unjustly suspected. The best course then is to let them have their own wills, give them free liberty, without any keeping.

"In vain our friends from this do us dehort, For beauty will be where is most resort."

If she be honest as Lucretia to Collatinus, Laodamia to Protesilaus, Penelope to her Ulysses, she will so continue her honour, good name, credit, _Penelope conjux semper Ulyssis ero_; "I shall always be Penelope the wife of Ulysses." And as Phocias' wife in [6196]Plutarch, called her husband "her wealth, treasure, world, joy, delight, orb and sphere," she will hers. The vow she made unto her good man; love, virtue, religion, zeal, are better keepers than all those locks, eunuchs, prisons; she will not be moved:

[6197] "At mihi vel tellus optem prius ima dehiscat, Aut pater omnipotens adigat me fulmine ad umbras, Pallentes umbras Erebi, noctemque profundam, Ante pudor quam te violem, aut tua jura resolvam."

"First I desire the earth to swallow me.

Before I violate mine honesty, Or thunder from above drive me to h.e.l.l, With those pale ghosts, and ugly nights to dwell."

She is resolved with Dido to be chaste; though her husband be false, she will be true: and as Octavia writ to her Antony,

[6198] "These walls that here do keep me out of sight, Shall keep me all unspotted unto thee, And testify that I will do thee right, I'll never stain thine house, though thou shame me."

Turn her loose to all those Tarquins and Satyrs, she will not be tempted.

In the time of Valence the Emperor, saith [6199]St. Austin, one Archidamus, a Consul of Antioch, offered a hundred pounds of gold to a fair young wife, and besides to set her husband free, who was then _sub gravissima custodia_, a dark prisoner, _pro unius noctis concubitu_: but the chaste matron would not accept of it. [6200]When Ode commended Theana's fine arm to his fellows, she took him up short, "Sir, 'tis not common:" she is wholly reserved to her husband. [6201]Bilia had an old man to her spouse, and his breath stunk, so that n.o.body could abide it abroad; "coming home one day he reprehended his wife, because she did not tell him of it: she vowed unto him, she had told him, but she thought every man's breath had been as strong as his." [6202]Tigranes and Armena his lady were invited to supper by King Cyrus: when they came home, Tigranes asked his wife, how she liked Cyrus, and what she did especially commend in him? "she swore she did not observe him; when he replied again, what then she did observe, whom she looked on? She made answer, her husband, that said he would die for her sake." Such are the properties and conditions of good women: and if she be well given, she will so carry herself; if otherwise she be naught, use all the means thou canst, she will be naught, _Non deest animus sed corruptor_, she hath so many lies, excuses, as a hare hath muses, tricks, panders, bawds, shifts, to deceive, 'tis to no purpose to keep her up, or to reclaim her by hard usage. "Fair means peradventure may do somewhat." [6203]

_Obsequio vinces aptius ipse tuo._ Men and women are both in a predicament in this behalf, no sooner won, and better pacified. _Duci volunt, non cogi_: though she be as arrant a scold as Xanthippe, as cruel as Medea, as clamorous as Hecuba, as l.u.s.tful as Messalina, by such means (if at all) she may be reformed. Many patient [6204]Grizels, by their obsequiousness in this kind, have reclaimed their husbands from their wandering l.u.s.ts. In Nova Francia and Turkey (as Leah, Rachel, and Sarah did to Abraham and Jacob) they bring their fairest damsels to their husbands' beds; Livia seconded the l.u.s.tful appet.i.tes of Augustus: Stratonice, wife to King Diotarus, did not only bring Electra, a fair maid, to her good man's bed, but brought up the children begot on her, as carefully as if they had been her own. Tertius Emilius' wife, Cornelia's mother, perceiving her husband's intemperance, _rem dissimulavit_, made much of the maid, and would take no notice of it. A new-married man, when a pickthank friend of his, to curry favour, had showed him his wife familiar in private with a young gallant, courting and dallying, &c. Tush, said he, let him do his worst, I dare trust my wife, though I dare not trust him. The best remedy then is by fair means; if that will not take place, to dissemble it as I say, or turn it off with a jest: hear Guexerra's advice in this case, _vel joco excipies, vel silentio eludes_; for if you take exceptions at everything your wife doth, Solomon's wisdom, Hercules' valour, Homer's learning, Socrates'

patience, Argus' vigilance, will not serve turn. Therefore _Minus malum_, [6205]a less mischief, Nevisa.n.u.s holds, _dissimulare_, to be [6206]_Cunarum emptor_, a buyer of cradles, as the proverb is, than to be too solicitous.

[6207]"A good fellow, when his wife was brought to bed before her time, bought half a dozen of cradles beforehand for so many children, as if his wife should continue to bear children every two months." [6208]Pertinax the Emperor, when one told him a fiddler was too familiar with his empress, made no reckoning of it. And when that Macedonian Philip was upbraided with his wife's dishonesty, _c.u.m tot victor regnorum ac populorum esset_, &c., a conqueror of kingdoms could not tame his wife (for she thrust him out of doors), he made a jest of it. _Sapientes portant cornua in pectore, stulti in fronte_, saith Nevisa.n.u.s, wise men bear their horns in their hearts, fools on their foreheads. Eumenes, king of Pergamus, was at deadly feud with Perseus of Macedonia, insomuch that Perseus hearing of a journey he was to take to Delphos, [6209]set a company of soldiers to intercept him in his pa.s.sage; they did it accordingly, and as they supposed left him stoned to death. The news of this fact was brought instantly to Pergamus; Attalus, Eumenes' brother, proclaimed himself king forthwith, took possession of the crown, and married Stratonice the queen. But by-and-by, when contrary news was brought, that King Eumenes was alive, and now coming to the city, he laid by his crown, left his wife, as a private man went to meet him, and congratulate his return. Eumenes, though he knew all particulars pa.s.sed, yet dissembling the matter, kindly embraced his brother, and took his wife into his favour again, as if on such matter had been heard of or done.

Jocundo, in Ariosto, found his wife in bed with a knave, both asleep, went his ways, and would not so much as wake them, much less reprove them for it. [6210]An honest fellow finding in like sort his wife had played false at tables, and borne a man too many, drew his dagger, and swore if he had not been his very friend, he would have killed him. Another hearing one had done that for him, which no man desires to be done by a deputy, followed in a rage with his sword drawn, and having overtaken him, laid adultery to his charge; the offender hotly pursued, confessed it was true; with which confession he was satisfied, and so left him, swearing that if he had denied it, he would not have put it up. How much better is it to do thus, than to macerate himself, impatiently to rave and rage, to enter an action (as Arnoldus Tilius did in the court of Toulouse, against Martin Guerre his fellow-soldier, for that he counterfeited his habit, and was too familiar with his wife), so to divulge his own shame, and to remain for ever a cuckold on record? how much better be Cornelius Tacitus than Publius Cornutus, to condemn in such cases, or take no notice of it? _Melius sic errare, quam Zelotypiae curis_, saith Erasmus, _se conficere_, better be a wittol and put it up, than to trouble himself to no purpose. And though he will not _omnibus dormire_, be an a.s.s, as he is an ox, yet to wink at it as many do is not amiss at some times, in some cases, to some parties, if it be for his commodity, or some great man's sake, his landlord, patron, benefactor, (as Calbas the Roman saith [6211]Plutarch did by Maecenas, and Phayllus of Argos did by King Philip, when he promised him an office on that condition he might lie with his wife) and so let it pa.s.s:

[6212] "pol me haud poenitet, Scilicet boni dimidium dividere c.u.m Jove,"

"it never troubles me" (saith Amphitrio) "to be cornuted by Jupiter," let it not molest thee then; be friends with her;

[6213] "Tu c.u.m Alcmena uxore antiquam in gratiam Redi"------

"Receive Alcmena to your grace again;" let it, I say, make no breach of love between you. Howsoever the best way is to contemn it, which [6214]Henry II. king of France advised a courtier of his, jealous of his wife, and complaining of her unchasteness, to reject it, and comfort himself; for he that suspects his wife's incontinency, and fears the Pope's curse, shall never live a merry hour, or sleep a quiet night: no remedy but patience. When all is done according to that counsel of [6215]Nevisa.n.u.s, _si vitium uxoris corrigi non potest, ferendum est_: if it may not be helped, it must be endured. _Date veniam et sustinete taciti_, 'tis Sophocles' advice, keep it to thyself, and which Chrysostom calls _palaestram philosophiae, et domestic.u.m gymnasium_ a school of philosophy, put it up. There is no other cure but time to wear it out, _Injuriarum remedium est oblivio_, as if they had drunk a draught of Lethe in Trophonius' den: to conclude, age will bereave her of it, dies _dolorem minuit_, time and patience must end it.

[6216] "The mind's affections patience will appease, It pa.s.sions kills, and healeth each disease."

SUBSECT. II.--_By prevention before, or after Marriage, Plato's Community, marry a Courtesan, Philters, Stews, to marry one equal in years, fortunes, of a good family, education, good place, to use them well, &c._

Of such medicines as conduce to the cure of this malady, I have sufficiently treated; there be some good remedies remaining, by way of prevention, precautions, or admonitions, which if rightly practised, may do much good. Plato, in his Commonwealth, to prevent this mischief belike, would have all things, wives and children, all as one: and which Caesar in his Commentaries observed of those old Britons, that first inhabited this land, they had ten or twelve wives allotted to such a family, or promiscuously to be used by so many men; not one to one, as with us, or four, five, or six to one, as in Turkey. The [6217]Nicholaites, a set that sprang, saith Austin, from Nicholas the deacon, would have women indifferent; and the cause of this filthy sect, was Nicholas the deacon's jealousy, for which when he was condemned to purge himself of his offence, he broached his heresy, that it was lawful to lie with one another's wives, and for any man to lie with his: like to those [6218]Anabaptists in Munster, that would consort with other men's wives as the spirit moved them: or as [6219]Mahomet, the seducing prophet, would needs use women as he list himself, to beget prophets; two hundred and five, their Alcoran saith, were in love with him, and [6220]he as able as forty men. Amongst the old Carthaginians, as [6221]Bohemus relates out of Sabellicus., the king of the country lay with the bride the first night, and once in a year they went promiscuously all together. Munster _Cosmog. lib. 3. cap. 497._ ascribes the beginning of this brutish custom (unjustly) to one Picardus, a Frenchman, that invented a new sect of Adamites, to go naked as Adam did, and to use promiscuous venery at set times. When the priest repeated that of Genesis, "Increase and multiply," out [6222]went the candles in the place where they met, "and without all respect of age, persons, conditions, catch that catch may, every man took her that came next," &c.; some fasten this on those ancient Bohemians and Russians: [6223]others on the inhabitants of Mambrium, in the Lucerne valley in Piedmont; and, as I read, it was practised in Scotland amongst Christians themselves, until King Malcolm's time, the king or the lord of the town had their maidenheads. In some parts of [6224]India in our age, and those [6225]islanders, [6226]as amongst the Babylonians of old, they will prost.i.tute their wives and daughters (which Chalcocondila, a Greek modern writer, for want of better intelligence, puts upon us Britons) to such travellers or seafaring men as come amongst them by chance, to show how far they were from this feral vice of jealousy, and how little they esteemed it. The kings of Calecut, as [6227]Lod. Vertomannus relates, will not touch their wives, till one of their Biarmi or high priests have lain first with them, to sanctify their wombs. But those Esai and Montanists, two strange sects of old, were in another extreme, they would not marry at all, or have any society with women, [6228]"because of their intemperance they held them all to be naught." Nevisa.n.u.s the lawyer, _lib. 4. num. 33. sylv. nupt._ would have him that is inclined to this malady, to prevent the worst, marry a quean, _Capiens meretricem, hoc habet saltem boni quod non decipitur, quia scit eam sic esse, quod non contingit aliis_. A fornicator in Seneca constuprated two wenches in a night; for satisfaction, the one desired to hang him, the other to marry him. [6229] Hierome, king of Syracuse in Sicily, espoused himself to Pitho, keeper of the stews; and Ptolemy took Thais a common wh.o.r.e to be his wife, had two sons, Leontiscus and Lagus by her, and one daughter Irene: 'tis therefore no such unlikely thing. [6230]A citizen of Engubine gelded himself to try his wife's honesty, and to be freed from jealousy; so did a baker in [6231] Basil, to the same intent.

But of all other precedents in this kind, that of [6232]Combalus is most memorable; who to prevent his master's suspicion, for he was a beautiful young man, and sent by Seleucus his lord and king, with Stratonice the queen to conduct her into Syria, fearing the worst, gelded himself before he went, and left his genitals behind him in a box sealed up. His mistress by the way fell in love with him, but he not yielding to her, was accused to Seleucus of incontinency, (as that Bellerophon was in like case, falsely traduced by Sthen.o.bia, to King Praetus her husband, _c.u.m non posset ad coitum inducere)_ and that by her, and was therefore at his corning home cast into prison: the day of hearing appointed, he was sufficiently cleared and acquitted, by showing his privities, which to the admiration of the beholders he had formerly cut off. The Lydians used to geld women whom they suspected, saith Leonicus _var. hist. Tib. 3. cap. 49._ as well as men. To this purpose [6233]Saint Francis, because he used to confess women in private, to prevent suspicion, and prove himself a maid, stripped himself before the Bishop of a.s.sise and others: and Friar Leonard for the same cause went through Viterbium in Italy, without any garments.

Our pseudo-Catholics, to help these inconveniences which proceed from jealousy, to keep themselves and their wives honest, make severe laws; against adultery present death; and withal fornication, a venal sin, as a sink to convey that furious and swift stream of concupiscence, they appoint and permit stews, those punks and pleasant sinners, the more to secure their wives in all populous cities, for they hold them as necessary as churches; and howsoever unlawful, yet to avoid a greater mischief, to be tolerated in policy, as usury, for the hardness of men's hearts; and for this end they have whole colleges of courtesans in their towns and cities.

Of [6234]Cato's mind belike, that would have his servants (_c.u.m ancillis congredi coitus causa, definito aere, ut graviora facinora evitarent, caeteris interim interdicens_) familiar with some such feminine creatures, to avoid worse mischiefs in his house, and made allowance for it. They hold it impossible for idle persons, young, rich, and l.u.s.ty, so many servants, monks, friars, to live honest, too tyrannical a burden to compel them to be chaste, and most unfit to suffer poor men, younger brothers and soldiers at all to marry, as those diseased persons, votaries, priests, servants.

Therefore, as well to keep and ease the one as the other, they tolerate and wink at these kind of brothel-houses and stews. Many probable arguments they have to prove the lawfulness, the necessity, and a toleration of them, as of usury; and without question in policy they are not to be contradicted: but altogether in religion. Others prescribe filters, spells, charms to keep men and women honest. [6235]_Mulier ut alienum virum non admittat praeter suum: Accipe fel hirci, et adipem, et exsicca, calescat in oleo, &c., et non alium praeter et amabit. In Alexi. Porta, &c., plura invenies, et multo his absurdiora, uti et in Rhasi, ne mulier virum admittat, et maritum solum diligat_, &c. But these are most part Pagan, impious, irreligious, absurd, and ridiculous devices.

The best means to avoid these and like inconveniences are, to take away the causes and occasions. To this purpose [6236]Varro writ _Satyram Menippeam_, but it is lost. [6237]Patritius prescribes four rules to be observed in choosing of a wife (which who so will may read); Fonseca, the Spaniard, in his _45. c. Amphitheat. Amoris_, sets down six special cautions for men, four for women; Sam. Neander out of s...o...b..rnerus, five for men, five for women; Anthony Guivarra many good lessons; [6238]Cleobulus two alone, others otherwise; as first to make a good choice in marriage, to invite Christ to their wedding, and which [6239]St. Ambrose adviseth, _Deum conjugii praesidem habere_, and to pray to him for her, _A Domino enim datur uxor prudens_, Prov. xix. ) not to be too rash and precipitate in his election, to run upon the first he meets, or dote on every stout fair piece he sees, but to choose her as much by his ears as eyes, to be well advised whom he takes, of what age, &c., and cautelous in his proceedings. An old man should not marry a young woman, nor a young woman an old man, [6240]

_Quam male inaequales veniunt ad arata juvenci!_ such matches must needs minister a perpetual cause of suspicion, and be distasteful to each other.

[6241] "Noctua ut in tumulis, super atque cadavera bubo, Talis apud Sophoclem nostra puella sedet."

"Night-crows on tombs, owl sits on carca.s.s dead, So lies a wench with Sophocles in bed."

For Sophocles, as [6242]Atheneus describes him, was a very old man, as cold as January, a bedfellow of bones, and doted yet upon Archippe, a young courtesan, than which nothing can be more odious. [6243]_Senex maritus uxori juveni ingratus est_, an old man is a most unwelcome guest to a young wench, unable, unfit:

[6244] "Amplexus suos fugiunt puellae, Omnis horret amor Venusque Hymenque."

And as in like case a good fellow that had but a peck of corn weekly to grind, yet would needs build a new mill for it, found his error eftsoons, for either he must let his mill lie waste, pull it quite down, or let others grind at it. So these men, &c.

Seneca therefore disallows all such unseasonable matches, _habent enim maledicti loc.u.m crebrae nuptiae._ And as [6245]Tully farther inveighs, "'tis unfit for any, but ugly and filthy in old age." _Turpe senilis amor_, one of the three things [6246]G.o.d hateth. Plutarch, in his book _contra Coleten_, rails downright at such kind of marriages, which are attempted by old men, _qui jam corpore impotenti, et a voluptatibus deserti, peccant animo_, and makes a question whether in some cases it be tolerable at least for such a man to marry,--_qui Venerem affectat sine viribus_, "that is now past those venerous exercises," "as a gelded man lies with a virgin and sighs," Ecclus. x.x.x. 20, and now complains with him in Petronius, _funerata est haec pars jam, quad fuit olim Achillea_, he is quite done,

[6247] "Vixit puellae nuper idoneus, Et militavit non sine gloria."

But the question is whether he may delight himself as those Priapeian popes, which, in their decrepit age, lay commonly between two wenches every night, _contactu formosarum, et contrectatione, num adhuc gaudeat_; and as many doting sires do to their own shame, their children's undoing, and their families' confusion: he abhors it, _tanquam ab agresti et furioso domino fugiendum_, it must be avoided as a bedlam master, and not obeyed.

[6248] "Alecto------ Ipsa faces praefert nubentibus, et malus Hymen Triste ululat,"------

the devil himself makes such matches. [6249]Levinus Lemnius reckons up three things which generally disturb the peace of marriage: the first is when they marry intempestive or unseasonably, "as many mortal men marry precipitately and inconsiderately, when they are effete and old: the second when they marry unequally for fortunes and birth: the third, when a sick impotent person weds one that is sound, _novae nuptae spes frustratur_: many dislikes instantly follow." Many doting dizzards, it may not be denied, as Plutarch confesseth, [6250]"recreate themselves with such obsolete, unseasonable and filthy remedies" (so he calls them), "with a remembrance of their former pleasures, against nature they stir up their dead flesh:" but an old lecher is abominable; _mulier tertio nubens_, [6251]Nevisa.n.u.s holds, _praesumitur lubrica, et inconstans_, a woman that marries a third time may be presumed to be no honester than she should. Of them both, thus Ambrose concludes in his comment upon Luke, [6252]"they that are coupled together, not to get children, but to satisfy their l.u.s.t, are not husbands, but fornicators," with whom St. Austin consents: matrimony without hope of children, _non matrimonium, sed concubium dici debet_, is not a wedding but a jumbling or coupling together. In a word (except they wed for mutual society, help and comfort one of another, in which respects, though [6253]Tiberius deny it, without question old folks may well marry) for sometimes a man hath most need of a wife, according to Puccius, when he hath no need of a wife; otherwise it is most odious, when an old Acherontic dizzard, that hath one foot in his grave, _a silicernium_, shall flicker after a young wench that is blithe and bonny,

[6254] ------"salaciorque Verno pa.s.sere, et albulis columbis."

What can be more detestable?

[6255] "Tu cano capite amas senex nequissime Jam plenus aetatis, animaque foetida, Senex hircosus tu osculare mulierem?

Utine adiens vomitum potius excuties."

"Thou old goat, h.o.a.ry lecher, naughty man, With stinking breath, art thou in love?

Must thou be slavering? she spews to see Thy filthy face, it doth so move."

Yet, as some will, it is much more tolerable for an old man to marry a young woman (our ladies' match they call it) for _cras erit mulier_, as he said in Tully. Cato the Roman, Critobulus in [6256]Xenophon, [6257]Tiraquellus of late, Julius Scaliger, &c., and many famous precedents we have in that kind; but not _e contra_: 'tis not held fit for an ancient woman to match with a young man. For as Varro will, _a.n.u.s dum ludit morti delitias facit_, 'tis Charon's match between [6258]Cascus and Casca, and the devil himself is surely well pleased with it. And, therefore, as the [6259]poet inveighs, thou old Vetustina bedridden quean, that art now skin and bones,

"Cui tres capilli, quatuorque sunt dentes, Pectus cicadae, crusculumque formicae, Rugosiorem quae geris stola frontem, Et arenaram ca.s.sibus pares mammas."

"That hast three hairs, four teeth, a breast Like gra.s.shopper, an emmet's crest, A skin more rugged than thy coat, And drugs like spider's web to boot."

Must thou marry a youth again? And yet _ducentas ire nuptum post mortes amant_: howsoever it is, as [6260]Apuleius gives out of his Meroe, _congressus annosus, pestilens, abhorrendus_, a pestilent match, abominable, and not to be endured. In such case how can they otherwise choose but be jealous, how should they agree one with another? This inequality is not in years only, but in birth, fortunes, conditions, and all good [6261]qualities, _si qua voles apte nubere, nube pari_, 'tis my counsel, saith Anthony Guiverra, to choose such a one. _Civis Civem ducat, n.o.bilis n.o.bilem_, let a citizen match with a citizen, a gentleman with a gentlewoman; he that observes not this precept (saith he) _non generum sed malum Genium, non nurum sed Furiam, non vitae Comitem, sed litis fomitem domi habebit_, instead of a fair wife shall have a fury, for a fit son-in-law a mere fiend, &c. examples are too frequent.

Another main caution fit to be observed is this, that though they be equal in years, birth, fortunes, and other conditions, yet they do not omit virtue and good education, which Musonius and Antipater so much inculcate in Stobeus:

[6262] "Dos est magna parentum Virtus, et metuens alterius viri Certo foedere cast.i.tas."

If, as Plutarch adviseth, one must eat _modium salis_, a bushel of salt with him, before he choose his friend, what care should be had in choosing a wife, his second self, how solicitous should he be to know her qualities and behaviour; and when he is a.s.sured of them, not to prefer birth, fortune, beauty, before bringing up, and good conditions. [6263]Coquage G.o.d of cuckolds, as one merrily said, accompanies the G.o.ddess Jealousy, both follow the fairest, by Jupiter's appointment, and they sacrifice to them together: beauty and honesty seldom agree; straight personages have often crooked manners; fair faces, foul vices; good complexions, ill conditions.

_Suspicionis plena res est, et insidiarum_, beauty (saith [6264]Chrysostom) is full of treachery and suspicion: he that hath a fair wife, cannot have a worse mischief, and yet most covet it, as if nothing else in marriage but that and wealth were to be respected. [6265]Francis Sforza, Duke of Milan, was so curious in this behalf, that he would not marry the Duke of Mantua's daughter, except he might see her naked first: which Lycurgus appointed in his laws, and Morus in his Utopian Commonwealth approves. [6266]In Italy, as a traveller observes, if a man have three or four daughters, or more, and they prove fair, they are married eftsoons: if deformed, they change their lovely names of Lucia, Cynthia, Camaena, call them Dorothy, Ursula, Bridget, and so put them into monasteries, as if none were fit for marriage, but such as are eminently fair: but these are erroneous tenets: a modest virgin well conditioned, to such a fair snout-piece, is much to be preferred. If thou wilt avoid them, take away all causes of suspicion and jealousy, marry a coa.r.s.e piece, fetch her from Ca.s.sandra's [6267]temple, which was wont in Italy to be a sanctuary of all deformed maids, and so shalt thou be sure that no man will make thee cuckold, but for spite. A citizen of Bizance in France had a filthy, dowdy, deformed s.l.u.t to his wife, and finding her in bed with another man, cried out as one amazed; _O miser! quae te necessitas huc adegit_? O thou wretch, what necessity brought thee hither? as well he might; for who can affect such a one? But this is warily to be understood, most offend in another extreme, they prefer wealth before beauty, and so she be rich, they care not how she look; but these are all out as faulty as the rest. _Attendenda uxoris forma_, as [6268]Salisburiensis adviseth, _ne si alteram aspexeris, mox eam sordere putes_, as the Knight in Chaucer, that was married to an old woman,

_And all day after hid him as an owl, So woe was his wife looked so foul_.

Have a care of thy wife's complexion, lest whilst thou seest another, thou loathest her, she prove jealous, thou naught,