The Anatomy of Melancholy Part 78

A fourth eminent cause of jealousy may be this, when he that is deformed, and as Pindarus of Vulcan, _sine gratiis natus_, hirsute, ragged, yet virtuously given, will marry some fair nice piece, or light housewife, begins to mis...o...b.. (as well he may) she doth not affect him. [6066]_Lis est c.u.m forma magna pudicitiae_, beauty and honesty have ever been at odds.

Abraham was jealous of his wife because she was fair: so was Vulcan of his Venus, when he made her creaking shoes, saith [6067]Philostratus, _ne maecharetur, sandalio scilicet deferente_, that he might hear by them when she stirred, which _Mars indigne ferre_, [6068]was not well pleased with.

Good cause had Vulcan to do as he did, for she was no honester than she should be. Your fine faces have commonly this fault; and it is hard to find, saith Francis Philelphus in an epistle to Saxola his friend, a rich man honest, a proper woman not proud or unchaste. "Can she be fair and honest too?"

[6069] "Saepe etenim oculuit picta sese hydra sub herba, Sub specie formae, incauto se saepe marito Nequam animus vendit,"------

He that marries a wife that is snowy fair alone, let him look, saith [6070]

Barbarus, for no better success than Vulcan had with Venus, or Claudius with Messalina. And 'tis impossible almost in such cases the wife should contain, or the good man not be jealous: for when he is so defective, weak, ill-proportioned, unpleasing in those parts which women most affect, and she most absolutely fair and able on the other side, if she be not very virtuously given, how can she love him? and although she be not fair, yet if he admire her and think her so, in his conceit she is absolute, he holds it impossible for any man living not to dote as he doth, to look on her and not l.u.s.t, not to covet, and if he be in company with her, not to lay siege to her honesty: or else out of a deep apprehension of his infirmities, deformities, and other men's good parts, out of his own little worth and desert, he distrusts himself, (for what is jealousy but distrust?) he suspects she cannot affect him, or be not so kind and loving as she should, she certainly loves some other man better than himself.

[6071]Nevisa.n.u.s, _lib. 4. num. 72_, will have barrenness to be a main cause of jealousy. If her husband cannot play the man, some other shall, they will leave no remedies unessayed, and thereupon the good man grows jealous; I could give an instance, but be it as it is.

I find this reason given by some men, because they have been formerly naught themselves, they think they may be so served by others, they turned up trump before the cards were shuffled; they shall have therefore _legem talionis_, like for like.

[6072] "Ipse miser docui, quo posset ludere pacto Custodes, eheu nunc premor arte mea."

"Wretch as I was, I taught her bad to be, And now mine own sly tricks are put upon me."

_Mala mens, malus animus_, as the saying is, ill dispositions cause ill suspicions.

[6073] "There is none jealous, I durst p.a.w.n my life, But he that hath defiled another's wife, And for that he himself hath gone astray, He straightway thinks his wife will tread that way."

To these two above-named causes, or incendiaries of this rage, I may very well annex those circ.u.mstances of time, place, persons, by which it ebbs and flows, the fuel of this fury, as [6074]Vives truly observes; and such like accidents or occasions, proceeding from the parties themselves, or others, which much aggravate and intend this suspicious humour. For many men are so lasciviously given, either out of a depraved nature, or too much liberty, which they do a.s.sume unto themselves, by reason of their greatness, in that they are n.o.ble men, (for _licentiae peccandi, et mult.i.tudo peccantium_ are great motives) though their own wives be never so fair, n.o.ble, virtuous, honest, wise, able, and well given, they must have change.

[6075] "Qui c.u.m legitimi junguntur foedere lecti, Virtute egregiis, facieque domoque puellis, Scorta tamen, foedasque lupas in fornice quaerunt, Et per adulterium nova carpere gaudia tentant."

"Who being match'd to wives most virtuous, n.o.ble, and fair, fly out lascivious."

_Quod licet ingratum est_, that which is ordinary, is unpleasant. Nero (saith Tacitus) abhorred Octavia his own wife, a n.o.ble virtuous lady, and loved Acte, a base quean in respect. [6076]Cerinthus rejected Sulpitia, a n.o.bleman's daughter, and courted a poor servant maid.--_tanta est aliena in messe voluptas_, for that [6077]"stolen waters be more pleasant:" or as Vitellius the emperor was wont to say, _Jucundiores amores, qui c.u.m periculo habentur_, like stolen venison, still the sweetest is that love which is most difficultly attained: they like better to hunt by stealth in another man's walk, than to have the fairest course that may be at game of their own.

[6078] "Aspice ut in coelo modo sol, modo luna ministret, Sic etiam n.o.bis una pella parum est."

"As sun and moon in heaven change their course, So they change loves, though often to the worse."

Or that some fair object so forcibly moves them, they cannot contain themselves, be it heard or seen they will be at it. [6079]Nessus, the centaur, was by agreement to carry Hercules and his wife over the river Evenus; no sooner had he set Dejanira on the other side, but he would have offered violence unto her, leaving Hercules to swim over as he could: and though her husband was a spectator, yet would he not desist till Hercules, with a poisoned arrow, shot him to death. [6080]Neptune saw by chance that Thessalian Tyro, Eunippius' wife, he forthwith, in the fury of his l.u.s.t, counterfeited her husband's habit, and made him cuckold. Tarquin heard Collatine commend his wife, and was so far enraged, that in the midst of the night to her he went. [6081]Theseus stole Ariadne, _vi rapuit_ that Trazenian Anaxa, Antiope, and now being old, Helen, a girl not yet ready for a husband. Great men are most part thus affected all, "as a horse they neigh," saith [6082]Jeremiah, after their neighbours' wives,--_ut visa pullus adhinnit equa_: and if they be in company with other women, though in their own wives' presence, they must be courting and dallying with them.

Juno in Lucian complains of Jupiter that he was still kissing Ganymede before her face, which did not a little offend her: and besides he was a counterfeit Amphitryo, a bull, a swan, a golden shower, and played many such bad pranks, too long, too shameful to relate.

Or that they care little for their own ladies, and fear no laws, they dare freely keep wh.o.r.es at their wives' noses. 'Tis too frequent with n.o.blemen to be dishonest; _Pielas, probitas, fides, privata bona sunt_, as [6083]he said long since, piety, chast.i.ty, and such like virtues are for private men: not to be much looked after in great courts: and which Suetonius of the good princes of his time, they might be all engraven in one ring, we may truly hold of chaste potentates of our age. For great personages will familiarly run out in this kind, and yield occasion of offence. [6084]

Montaigne, in his Essays, gives instate in Caesar, Mahomet the Turk, that sacked Constantinople, and Ladislaus, king of Naples, that besieged Florence: great men, and great soldiers, are commonly great, &c., _probatum est_, they are good doers. Mars and Venus are equally balanced in their actions,

[6085] "Militis in galea nidum fecere columbae, Apparet Marti quam sit amica Venus."

"A dove within a headpiece made her nest, 'Twixt Mars and Venus see an interest."

Especially if they be bald, for bald men have ever been suspicious (read more in Aristotle, _Sect. 4. prob. 19._) as Galba, Otho, Domitian, and remarkable Caesar amongst the rest. [6086]_Urbani servate uxores, maechum calvum adducimus_; besides, this bald Caesar, saith Curio in Sueton, was _omnium mulierum vir_; he made love to Eunoe, queen of Mauritania; to Cleopatra; to Posthumia, wife to Sergius Sulpitius; to Lollia, wife to Gabinius; to Tertulla, of Cra.s.sus; to Mutia, Pompey's wife, and I know not how many besides: and well he might, for, if all be true that I have read, he had a license to lie with whom he list. _Inter alios honores Caesari decretos_ (as Sueton, _cap. 52. de Julio_, and Dion, _lib. 44._ relate) _jus illi datum, c.u.m quibuscunque faeminis se jungendi_. Every private history will yield such variety of instances: otherwise good, wise, discreet men, virtuous and valiant, but too faulty in this. Priamus had fifty sons, but seventeen alone lawfully begotten. [6087]Philippus Bonus left fourteen b.a.s.t.a.r.ds. Lorenzo de Medici, a good prince and a wise, but, saith Machiavel, [6088]prodigiously lascivious. None so valiant as Castruccius Castruca.n.u.s, but, as the said author hath it, [6089]none so incontinent as he was. And 'tis not only predominant in grandees this fault: but if you will take a great man's testimony, 'tis familiar with every base soldier in France, (and elsewhere, I think). "This vice" ([6090]

saith mine author) "is so common with us in France, that he is of no account, a mere coward, not worthy the name of a soldier, that is not a notorious wh.o.r.emaster." In Italy he is not a gentleman, that besides his wife hath not a courtesan and a mistress. 'Tis no marvel, then, if poor women in such cases be jealous, when they shall see themselves manifestly neglected, contemned, loathed, unkindly used: their disloyal husbands to entertain others in their rooms, and many times to court ladies to their faces: other men's wives to wear their jewels: how shall a poor woman in such a case moderate her pa.s.sion? [6091]_Quis tibi nunc Dido cernenti talia sensus_?

How, on the other side, shall a poor man contain himself from this feral malady, when he shall see so manifest signs of his wife's inconstancy?

when, as Milo's wife, she dotes upon every young man she sees, or, as [6092]Martial's Sota,--_deserto sequitur c.l.i.tum marito_, "deserts her husband and follows c.l.i.tus." Though her husband be proper and tall, fair and lovely to behold, able to give contentment to any one woman, yet she will taste of the forbidden fruit: Juvenal's Iberina to a hair, she is as well pleased with one eye as one man. If a young gallant come by chance into her presence, a fastidious brisk, that can wear his clothes well in fashion, with a lock, jingling spur, a feather, that can cringe, and withal compliment, court a gentlewoman, she raves upon him, "O what a lovely proper man he was," another Hector, an Alexander, a goodly man, a demiG.o.d, how sweetly he carried himself, with how comely a grace, _sic oculos, sic ille ma.n.u.s, sic ora ferebat_, how neatly he did wear his clothes! [6093]

_Quam sese ore ferens, quam forti pectore et armis_, how bravely did he discourse, ride, sing, and dance, &c., and then she begins to loathe her husband, _repugnans osculatur_, to hate him and his filthy beard, his goatish complexion, as Doris said of Polyphemus, [6094]_totus qui saniem, totus ut hircus olet_, he is a rammy fulsome fellow, a goblin-faced fellow, he smells, he stinks, _Et caepas simul alliumque ructat_ [6095]--_si quando ad thalamum_, &c., how like a dizzard, a fool, an a.s.s, he looks, how like a clown he behaves himself! [6096]she will not come near him by her own good will, but wholly rejects him, as Venus did her fuliginous Vulcan, at last, _Nec Deus hunc mensa, Dea nec dignata cubili est_. [6097]So did Lucretia, a lady of Senae, after she had but seen Euryalus, _in Eurialum tota ferebatur, domum reversa_, &c., she would not hold her eyes off him in his presence,-- [6098]_tantum egregio decus enitet ore_, and in his absence could think of none but him, _odit virum_, she loathed her husband forthwith, might not abide him:

[6099] "Et conjugalis negligens tori, viro Praesente, acerbo nauseat fastidio;"

"All against the laws of matrimony, She did abhor her husband's phis'nomy;"

and sought all opportunity to see her sweetheart again. Now when the good man shall observe his wife so lightly given, "to be so free and familiar with every gallant, her immodesty and wantonness," (as [6100]Camerarius notes) it must needs yield matter of suspicion to him, when she still pranks up herself beyond her means and fortunes, makes impertinent journeys, unnecessary visitations, stays out so long, with such and such companions, so frequently goes to plays, masks, feasts, and all public meetings, shall use such immodest [6101]gestures, free speeches, and withal show some distaste of her own husband; how can he choose, "though he were another Socrates, but be suspicious, and instantly jealous?" [6102]

_Socraticas tandem faciet transcendere metas_; more especially when he shall take notice of their more secret and sly tricks, which to cornute their husbands they commonly use (_dum ludis, ludos haec te facit_) they pretend love, honour, chast.i.ty, and seem to respect them before all men living, saints in show, so cunningly can they dissemble, they will not so much as look upon another man in his presence, [6103]so chaste, so religious, and so devout, they cannot endure the name or sight of a quean, a harlot, out upon her! and in their outward carriage are most loving and officious, will kiss their husband, and hang about his neck (dear husband, sweet husband), and with a composed countenance salute him, especially when he comes home; or if he go from home, weep, sigh, lament, and take upon them to be sick and swoon (like Jocundo's wife in [6104]Ariosto, when her husband was to depart), and yet arrant, &c. they care not for him,

"Aye me, the thought (quoth she) makes me so 'fraid, That scarce the breath abideth in my breast; Peace, my sweet love and wife, Jocundo said, And weeps as fast, and comforts her his best, &c.

All this might not a.s.suage the woman's pain, Needs must I die before you come again, Nor how to keep my life I can devise, The doleful days and nights I shall sustain, From meat my mouth, from sleep will keep mine eyes, &c.

That very night that went before the morrow, That he had pointed surely to depart, Jocundo's wife was sick, and swoon'd for sorrow Amid his arms, so heavy was her heart."

And yet for all these counterfeit tears and protestations, Jocundo coming back in all haste for a jewel he had forgot,

"His chaste and yoke-fellow he found Yok'd with a knave, all honesty neglected, The adulterer sleeping very sound, Yet by his face was easily detected: A beggar's brat bred by him from his cradle., And now was riding on his master's saddle."

Thus can they cunningly counterfeit, as [6105]Platina describes their customs, "kiss their husbands, whom they had rather see hanging on a gallows, and swear they love him dearer than their own lives, whose soul they would not ransom for their little dog's,"

------"similis si permutatio detur, Morte viri cupiunt aniniani servare catellae."

Many of them seem to be precise and holy forsooth, and will go to such a [6106]church, to hear such a good man by all means, an excellent man, when 'tis for no other intent (as he follows it) than "to see and to be seen, to observe what fashions are in use, to meet some pander, bawd, monk, friar, or to entice some good fellow." For they persuade themselves, as [6107]

Nevisa.n.u.s shows, "That it is neither sin nor shame to lie with a lord or parish priest, if he be a proper man;" [6108]"and though she kneel often, and pray devoutly, 'tis" (saith Platina) "not for her husband's welfare, or children's good, or any friend, but for her sweetheart's return, her pander's health." If her husband would have her go, she feigns herself sick, [6109]_Et simulat subito condoluisse caput_: her head aches, and she cannot stir: but if her paramour ask as much, she is for him in all seasons, at all hours of the night. [6110]In the kingdom of Malabar, and about Goa in the East Indies, the women are so subtile that, with a certain drink they give them to drive away cares as they say, [6111]"they will make them sleep for twenty-four hours, or so intoxicate them that they can remember nought of that they saw done, or heard, and, by washing of their feet, restore them again, and so make their husbands cuckolds to their faces." Some are ill-disposed at all times, to all persons they like, others more wary to some few, at such and such seasons, as Augusta, Livia, _non nisi plena navi vectorem tollebat_. But as he said,

[6112] "No pen could write, no tongue attain to tell, By force of eloquence, or help of art, Of women's treacheries the hundredth part."

Both, to say truth, are often faulty; men and women give just occasions in this humour of discontent, aggravate and yield matter of suspicion: but most part of the chief causes proceed from other advent.i.tious accidents and circ.u.mstances, though the parties be free, and both well given themselves.

The indiscreet carriage of some lascivious gallant (_et e contra_ of some light woman) by his often frequenting of a house, bold unseemly gestures, may make a breach, and by his over-familiarity, if he be inclined to yellowness, colour him quite out. If he be poor, basely born, saith Beneditto Varchi, and otherwise unhandsome, he suspects him the less; but if a proper man, such as was Alcibiades in Greece, and Castruccius Castruca.n.u.s in Italy, well descended, commendable for his good parts, he taketh on the more, and watcheth his doings. [6113]Theodosius the emperor gave his wife Eudoxia a golden apple when he was a suitor to her, which she long after bestowed upon a young gallant in the court, of her especial acquaintance. The emperor, espying this apple in his hand, suspected forthwith, more than was, his wife's dishonesty, banished him the court, and from that day following forbare to accompany her any more. [6114]A rich merchant had a fair wife; according to his custom he went to travel; in his absence a good fellow tempted his wife; she denied him; yet he, dying a little after, gave her a legacy for the love he bore her. At his return, her jealous husband, because she had got more by land than he had done at sea, turned her away upon suspicion.

Now when those other circ.u.mstances of time and place, opportunity and importunity shall concur, what will they not effect?

"Fair opportunity can win the coyest she that is, So wisely he takes time, as he'll be sure he will not miss: Then lie that loves her gamesome vein, and tempers toys with art, Brings love that swimmeth in her eyes to dive into her heart."

As at plays, masks, great feasts and banquets, one singles out his wife to dance, another courts her in his presence, a third tempts her, a fourth insinuates with a pleasing compliment, a sweet smile, ingratiates himself with an amphibological speech, as that merry companion in the [6115]

Satirist did to his Glycerium, [6116]_adsidens et interiorem palmam amabiliter concutiens_,

"Quod meus hortus habet sumat impune licebit, Si dederis n.o.bis quod tuus hortus habet;"

with many such, &c., and then as he saith,

[6117] _She may no while in chast.i.ty abide.

That is a.s.said on every side_.

For after al great feast, [6118]_Vino saepe suum nescit amica virum_. Noah (saith [6119]Hierome) "showed his nakedness in his drunkenness, which for six hundred years he had covered in soberness." Lot lay with his daughters in his drink, as Cyneras with Myrrha,--[6120]_quid enim Venus ebria curat_?

The most continent may be overcome, or if otherwise they keep bad company, they that are modest of themselves, and dare not offend, "confirmed by [6121]others, grow impudent, and confident, and get an ill habit."

[6122] "Alia quaestus gratia matrimonium corrumpit, Alia peccans multas vult morbi habere socias."

Or if they dwell in suspected places, as in an infamous inn, near some stews, near monks, friars, Nevisa.n.u.s adds, where be many tempters and solicitors, idle persons that frequent their companies, it may give just cause of suspicion. Martial of old inveighed against them that counterfeited a disease to go to the bath; for so, many times,

------"relicto Conjuge Penelope venit, abit Helene."