The Anatomy of Melancholy Part 76

Consolatur, adsidet, onus partic.i.p.at ut tolerabile fiat.--5. Domi es?

solitudinis taedium pellit.--6. Foras? Discendentem visu prosequitur, absentem desiderat, redeuntem laeta excipit.--7. Nihil jucundum absque societate? Nulla societas matrimonio suavior.--8. Vinculum conjugalis charitatis adamentinum.--9. Accrescit dulcis affinium turba, duplicatur numerus parentum, fratrum, sororum, nepotum.--10. Pulchra sis prole parens.--11. Lex Mosis sterilitatem matrimonii execratur, quanto amplius coelibatum?--12. Si natura poenam non effugit, ne voluntas quidem effugiet_.

1. Hast thou means? thou hast none to keep and increase it.--2. Hast none?

thou hast one to help to get it.--3. Art in prosperity? thine happiness is doubled.--4. Art in adversity? she'll comfort, a.s.sist, bear a part of thy burden to make it more tolerable.--5. Art at home? she'll drive away melancholy.--6. Art abroad? she looks after thee going from home, wishes for thee in thine absence, and joyfully welcomes thy return.--7. There's nothing delightsome without society, no society so sweet as matrimony.--8.

The band of conjugal love is adamantine.--9. The sweet company of kinsmen increaseth, the number of parents is doubled, of brothers, sisters, nephews.--10. Thou art made a father by a fair and happy issue.--11. Moses curseth the barrenness of matrimony, how much more a single life?--12. If nature escape not punishment, surely thy will shall not avoid it.

All this is true, say you, and who knows it not? but how easy a matter is it to answer these motives, and to make an _Antiparodia_ quite opposite unto it? To exercise myself I will essay:

1. Hast thou means? thou hast one to spend it.--2. Hast none? thy beggary is increased.--3. Art in prosperity? thy happiness is ended.--4. Art in adversity? like Job's wife she'll aggravate thy misery, vex thy soul, make thy burden intolerable.--5. Art at home? she'll scold thee out of doors.--6. Art abroad? If thou be wise keep thee so, she'll perhaps graft horns in thine absence, scowl on thee coming home.--7. Nothing gives more content than solitariness, no solitariness like this of a single life,--8.

The band of marriage is adamantine, no hope of losing it, thou art undone.--9. Thy number increaseth, thou shalt be devoured by thy wife's friends.--10. Thou art made a cornuto by an unchaste wife, and shalt bring up other folks' children instead of thine own.--11. Paul commends marriage, yet he prefers a single life.--12. Is marriage honourable? What an immortal crown belongs to virginity?

So Siracides himself speaks as much as may be for and against women, so doth almost every philosopher plead pro and con, every poet thus argues the case (though what cares _vulgus nominum_ what they say?): so can I conceive peradventure, and so canst thou: when all is said, yet since some be good, some bad, let's put it to the venture. I conclude therefore with Seneca,

------"cur Toro viduo jaces?

Tristem juventam solve: mine luxus rape, Effunde habenas, optimos vitae dies Effluere prohibe."

"Why dost thou lie alone, let thy youth and best days to pa.s.s away?" Marry whilst thou mayst, _donec viventi canities abest morosa_, whilst thou art yet able, yet l.u.s.ty, [5958]_Elige cui dicas, tu mihi sola places_, make thy choice, and that freely forthwith, make no delay, but take thy fortune as it falls. 'Tis true,

[5959] "--calamitosus est qui inciderit In malam uxorem, felix qui in bonam,"

'Tis a hazard both ways I confess, to live single or to marry, [5960]_Nam et uxorem ducere, et non ducere malum est_, it may be bad, it may be good, as it is a cross and calamity on the one side, so 'tis a sweet delight, an incomparable happiness, a blessed estate, a most unspeakable benefit, a sole content, on the other; 'tis all in the proof. Be not then so wayward, so covetous, so distrustful, so curious and nice, but let's all marry, _mutuos foventes amplexus_; "Take me to thee, and thee to me," tomorrow is St. Valentine's day, let's keep it holiday for Cupid's sake, for that great G.o.d Love's sake, for Hymen's sake, and celebrate [5961]Venus' vigil with our ancestors for company together, singing as they did,

"Crasam et qui nunquam amavit, quique amavit, eras amet, Ver novum, ver jam canorum, ver natus...o...b..s est, Vere concordant amores, vere nubunt alites, Et nemus coma resolvit, &c.------ Cras amet," &c.------

"Let those love now who never loved before, And those who always loved now love the more; Sweet loves are born with every opening spring; Birds from the tender boughs their pledges sing," &c.

Let him that is averse from marriage read more in Barbarus _de re uxor.

lib. 1. cap. 1._ Lemnius _de inst.i.tut. cap. 4._ P. G.o.defridus _de Amor.

lib. 3. cap. 1._ [5962]Nevisa.n.u.s, _lib. 3._ Alex. ab Alexandro, _lib. 4.

cap. 8._ Tunstall, Erasmus' tracts _in laudem matrimonii_ &c., and I doubt not but in the end he will rest satisfied, recant with Beroaldus, do penance for his former folly, singing some penitential ditties, desire to be reconciled to the deity of this great G.o.d Love, go a pilgrimage to his shrine, offer to his image, sacrifice upon his altar, and be as willing at last to embrace marriage as the rest: There will not be found, I hope, [5963]"No, not in that severe family of Stoics, who shall refuse to submit his grave beard, and supercilious looks to the clipping of a wife," or disagree from his fellows in this point. "For what more willingly" (as [5964]Varro holds) "can a proper man see than a fair wife, a sweet wife, a loving wife?" can the world afford a better sight, sweeter content, a fairer object, a more gracious aspect?

Since then this of marriage is the last and best refuge, and cure of heroical love, all doubts are cleared, and impediments removed; I say again, what remains, but that according to both their desires, they be happily joined, since it cannot otherwise be helped? G.o.d send us all good wives, every man his wish in this kind, and me mine!

[5965] _And G.o.d that all this world hath ywrought Send him his Love that hath it so deere bought_.

If all parties be pleased, ask their banns, 'tis a match. [5966]_Fruitur Rhodanthe sponsa, sponso Dosicle_, Rhodanthe and Dosicles shall go together, c.l.i.tiphon and Leucippe, Theagines and Chariclea, Poliarchus hath his Argenis', Lysander Calista, to make up the mask) [5967]_Polilurque sua puer Iphis Ianthi_.

_And Troilus in l.u.s.t and in quiet Is with Creseid, his own heart sweet_.

And although they have hardly pa.s.sed the pikes, through many difficulties and delays brought the match about, yet let them take this of [5968]

Aristaenetus (that so marry) for their comfort: [5969]"after many troubles and cares, the marriages of lovers are more sweet and pleasant." As we commonly conclude a comedy with a [5970]wedding, and shaking of hands, let's shut up our discourse, and end all with an [5971]Epithalamium.

_Feliciter nuptis_, G.o.d give them joy together. [5972]_Hymen O Hymenae, Hymen ades O Hymenaee! Bonum factum_, 'tis well done, _Haud equidem sine mente reor, sine numine Divum_, 'tis a happy conjunction, a fortunate match, an even couple,

"Ambo animis, ambo praestantes viribus, ambo Florentes annis,"------

"they both excel in gifts of body and mind, are both equal in years,"

youth, vigour, alacrity, she is fair and lovely as Lais or Helen, he as another Charinus or Alcibiades,

[5973] ------"ludite ut lubet et brevi Liberos date."------

"Then modestly go sport and toy, And let's have every year a boy."

[5974]"Go give a sweet smell as incense, and bring forth flowers as the lily:" that we may say hereafter, _Scitus Mecastor natus est Pamphilo puer_. In the meantime I say,

[5975] "Ite, agite, O juvenes, [5976]non murmura vestra columbae, Brachia, non hederae, neque vincant oscula conchae."

"Gentle youths, go sport yourselves betimes, Let not the doves outpa.s.s your murmurings, Or ivy-clasping arms, or oyster-kissings."

And in the morn betime, as those [5977]Lacedaemonian la.s.ses saluted Helena and Menelaus, singing at their windows, and wishing good success, do we at yours:

"Salve O sponsa, salve felix, det vobis Latona Felicem sobolem, Venus dea det aequalem amorem Inter vos mutuo; Saturnus durabiles divitias, Dormite in pectora mutuo amorem inspirantes, Et desiderium!"------

"Good morrow, master bridegroom, and mistress bride, Many fair lovely bairns to you betide!

Let Venus to you mutual love procure, Let Saturn give you riches to endure.

Long may you sleep in one another's arms, Inspiring sweet desire, and free from harms."

Even all your lives long,

[5978] "Contingat vobis turturum concordia, Corniculae vivacitas"------

"The love of turtles hap to you, And ravens' years still to renew."

Let the Muses sing, (as he said;) the Graces dance, not at their weddings only but all their days long; "so couple their hearts, that no irksomeness or anger ever befall them: let him never call her other name than my joy, my light, or she call him otherwise than sweetheart. To this happiness of theirs, let not old age any whit detract, but as their years, so let their mutual love and comfort increase." And when they depart this life,

------"concordes quoniam vixere tot annos, Auferat hora duos eadem, nec conjugis usquam Busta suae videat, nec sit tumulandus ab illa."

"Because they have so sweetly liv'd together, Let not one die a day before the other, He bury her, she him, with even fate, One hour their souls let jointly separate."

[5979] "Fortunati ambo si quid mea carmina possunt, Nulla dies unquam memori vos eximet aevo."

Atque haec de amore dixisse sufficiat, sub correctione, [5980]quod ait ille, cujusque melius sentientis. Plura qui volet de remediis amoris, legat Jasonem Pratensem, Arnoldum, Montaltum, Savanarolum, Langium, Valesc.u.m, Crimisonum, Alexandrum Benedictum, Laurentium, Valleriolam, e Poetis Nasonem, e nostratibus Chaucerum, &c., with whom I conclude,

[5981] _For my words here and every part, I speak hem all under correction, Of you that feeling have in love's art, And put it all in your discretion, To intreat or make diminution, Of my language, that I you beseech: But now to purpose of my rather speech_.

SECT. III. MEMB. I.

SUBSECT. I.--_Jealousy, its Equivocations, Name, Definition, Extent, several kinds; of Princes, Parents, Friends. In Beasts, Men: before marriage, as Co-rivals; or after, as in this place_.

Valescus de Taranta _cap. de Melanchol._ Aelian Montaltus, Felix Platerus, Guianerius, put jealousy for a cause of melancholy, others for a symptom; because melancholy persons amongst these pa.s.sions and perturbations of the mind, are most obnoxious to it. But methinks for the lat.i.tude it hath, and that prerogative above other ordinary symptoms, it ought to be treated of as a species apart, being of so great and eminent note, so furious a pa.s.sion, and almost of as great extent as love itself, as [5982]Benedetto Varchi holds, "no love without a mixture of jealousy," _qui non zelat, non amat_. For these causes I will dilate, and treat of it by itself, as a b.a.s.t.a.r.d-branch or kind of love-melancholy, which, as heroical love goeth commonly before marriage, doth usually follow, torture, and crucify in like sort, deserves therefore to be rectified alike, requires as much care and industry, in setting out the several causes of it, prognostics and cures.

Which I have more willingly done, that he that is or hath been jealous, may see his error as in a gla.s.s; he that is not, may learn to detest, avoid it himself, and dispossess others that are anywise affected with it.

Jealousy is described and defined to be [5983]"a certain suspicion which the lover hath of the party he chiefly loveth, lest he or she should be enamoured of another:" or any eager desire to enjoy some beauty alone, to have it proper to himself only: a fear or doubt, lest any foreigner should partic.i.p.ate or share with him in his love. Or (as [5984]Scaliger adds) "a fear of losing her favour whom he so earnestly affects." Cardan calls it "a [5985]zeal for love, and a kind of envy lest any man should beguile us."

[5986]Ludovicus Vives defines it in the very same words, or little differing in sense.

There be many other jealousies, but improperly so called all; as that of parents, tutors, guardians over their children, friends whom they love, or such as are left to their wardship or protection.

[5987] "Storax non rediit hac nocte a coena Aeschinus, Neque servulorum quispiam qui adversum ierant?"